


A Broken World

by mishaminion69, sydkn3e



Series: A Broken World [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, I love it when they stare at each other, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miscommunication is the Real Villain Here, Past Miscarriage, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Praise Kink, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Single Parent Castiel, Slow Burn, So much slick, a/b/o dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:18:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 166,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishaminion69/pseuds/mishaminion69, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydkn3e/pseuds/sydkn3e
Summary: Dean's been on his own for as long as he can remember, fending for himself and struggling through heats alone. The last thing he wants after his tumultuous past is an Alpha, but the heats are getting worse and the winter is particularly brutal. There are rumors of an Omega camp run by a mysterious and uncharacteristically kind Alpha, and Dean finds himself drawn to the scent of Castiel, who welcomes him into the camp with open arms.Dean remains wary of the Alpha despite his seemingly calm nature, but he becomes increasingly interested in the enigmatic Castiel. Together they help each other overcome events of the past and attempt to live and love again in an unforgiving and broken world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Um Mundo Quebrado](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18746137) by [EleonorRigby98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleonorRigby98/pseuds/EleonorRigby98)



> Work is unbeta'd. All mistakes are our own.
> 
> *Original prompt idea credit: Mishaminion69 (deanmon69 on Tumblr)
> 
> **Original character Ysabella credit goes to my good friend and old RP partner, who created a layered and interesting character I was inspired to use as a past love interest. Please check out her Tumblr @thislittlewhitelight and let her know how awesome she is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know ahead of time that this fic is going to be quite angsty, with mentions of past rape and miscarriage, which we are aware are extremely sensitive subjects. There will also be explicit and consensual sexual content. 
> 
> This is Lauren and Sydney's personal take on the world of A/B/O, so there may be aspects that are different than what you're used to reading with A/B/O lore. 
> 
> Read chapter tags, and if during your reading you find that we missed a tag or should be more specific, please reach out to us via comments or tumblr (Lauren: deanmon69, Sydney: holytrenchcoatedsubtextchuck)
> 
> Thanks for reading!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/141984597@N04/42212969012/in/dateposted-public/)

Dean blinked up at the sky, eyeing the heavy clouds with wariness as he adjusted the old canvas bag hanging off his shoulder. It was going to snow again and he was already almost knee deep in the stuff. He shivered, rubbing his hands over his arms, as he glanced around hopelessly. Nothing but burned out shells of cars littered the old road, flanked by a forest of mostly dead trees, all blanketed with thick snow. It was freezing and only getting colder.

He shifted from foot to foot, considering his very few options. His destination, if it even existed, wasn’t too far now. He’d been traveling for weeks, going off weak rumors of a camp buried, hidden, somewhere in Kansas. A camp supposedly safe for someone like him, overseen by an elusive Alpha.

Dean couldn’t ignore the fearful flutter of his heart at the thought of putting his life in the hands of an Alpha. A part of him thought he should turn around, go back to the hovel he called a home, but the promise of a supposed ‘safe place’ for an omega was too good to pass up. He was tired of looking around every corner, watching his back, ducking his neck to avoid the jaws of forceful Alphas, even as his treacherous body called out to them.

Dean looked up again, at the ever darkening sky, and prayed to the God he didn’t believe in this would finally by the break he needed. He was tired. Born as prey to his own species, abandoned by his family because of it, in a broken world had hardened and beaten him. While the few Omegas that made it to adulthood disappeared or died around him, Dean was stubborn and pressed on. He wouldn’t let his biology or pushy Alphas decide his fate.

With a roll of his shoulders, Dean pushed on. He was too close now. Every second out here, unhidden and in unfamiliar territory, was a risk. Snow wasn’t going to stop him.

\----

Snow soaked through his clothes as Dean trudged forward, his nose leading him to what was hopefully a new home. The scent was strong now. Overbearing. Possessive. He was in an Alpha’s territory and every survival instinct in him told him to flee. This Alpha smelled intoxicating, strong, overpowering. If he truly controlled an entire camp, Dean doubted it was friendly to Omegas. But he’d come this far, and he’d see it through.

And if his will wasn’t enough to strengthen him, the freezing wind would drive him forward. The sky was black, light flurries falling steadily. He shivered, teeth chattering, arms hugged around himself as he trampled through the frozen ground and gnarled trees. The scent was leading him deep into a forest, well away from the highway. There was no path, no dirt road, just endless wilderness. His only hope for shelter and warmth now was the camp that may or may not be here. It was completely possible, even likely, that he’d die out here tonight. It was well below freezing and Dean’s jacket wasn’t doing much to block out the wind. He could no longer feel his feet or hands, and if he’d had a mirror he was sure he’d see his lips were a shade of blue.

Finally, on weak legs and with the snow falling hard now, Dean saw a line of smoke signaling what had to be a huge bonfire. How they kept it going in this weather was a mystery and Dean was drawn to the promise of warmth. The Alpha’s scent was stronger than ever, tingling his nose and setting his senses on fire. His heat wasn’t far off, a few days at most, and he hoped he could find a safe place to sweat it out in this camp.

When Dean reached the edge of the encampment, he slowed and approached cautiously. Entering an Alpha’s territory was always risky. Usually Dean sneaked in and out of camps, stealing food and supplies when he was desperate enough. In the spirit of making a good first impression, he stopped at the tall, wooden fence encasing the camp. He saw the source of the home, a giant bonfire burning brightly in the middle. One or two betas lingered around it, hunched against the storm in thick coats. Dean envied them and hugged his arms around his thin jacket as he watched them. If it wasn’t for the storm, they would have smelled him by now, but the snow was thick. Dean was surprised he’d scented the Alpha from so far.

Dean stiffened when one lifted his head, freezing when he caught sight of the stranger lingering outside the gate. After a quick word with the other Beta, he slowly walked over to the gate, stopping a few feet from Dean.

His eyebrows furrowed as he gave a, in Dean’s opinion, rude sniff. “Omega,” the Beta said in a very thick Louisiana drawl. Dean nodded stiffly, shifting the bag on his shoulder. He normally would snarl at the term, because he was more than just a hole for Alphas, but he fought to keep civil. It would be really fucking sad if he’d come all this way just to lose a fight with a pack. With them, protocol was everything.

The Beta gave him a curious look then glanced over his shoulder, nodding towards the other by the fire. He received an answering nod as the other walked off. The Beta turned back to Dean, who eyed him warily. Suddenly, he heard a little electric pop, and the Beta stepped forward and unlocked the gate. Dean realized with a start that the gate had been hot with a current, and he wondered where the precious electricity was coming from.

The gate opened just enough for him to slip through. He swallowed thickly and cast a nervous glance around noting heads that were popping up out of small cabins, which he hadn’t noticed before. The structures were solid and lined neatly in a grid like pattern. Empty clothes lines sat beside each one, and a few burned with dim lighting. They looked warm and dry, but Dean stood in the wet cold as the Beta locked the gate back up. Another pop signaled the current was live again.

For better or for worse, Dean was now stuck in this camp where a strange Alpha called the shots and he was days away from his heat. He was alone, a long way from what he called home, and surrounded by potentially hostile pack members. As he followed the silent Beta to what he assumed was the Alpha’s cabin, Dean wondered for the hundredth time if he’d made the right choice.

Snow crunched under his boots and icy wind whipped into his eyes, making him blink and slip as he followed the Beta towards the back of the settlement. He was shivering uncontrollably now, his body growing numb with each step. As they moved deeper into what Dean was realizing was a huge camp, more heads popped into view. Dean had a hard time sniffing anything with his frozen nose, but he definitely scented other Omegas and many more betas. The only Alpha scent seemed to be the one he followed here.

Dean pointedly kept his gaze on the back of the Beta’s head, ignoring the itch under his skin from the amount of eyes on them. Was he really so interesting? Surely his presence wasn’t so strange.

The number of little cabins began to taper off until Dean’s sight was drawn to a larger cabin situated amongst tall trees on a small hill. A good spot for an Alpha. The view probably offered an ideal spot to watch his pack.

The smell was almost overwhelming here and this time Dean’s stumbling wasn’t his stiffening limbs. The Beta didn’t seem to notice or care as he lead him up the hill and to the door. There was a chimney pumping out smoke and the windows were lit with what Dean could tell was candle light.

The beta knocked firmly and the door opened a crack. Dean stood off a ways, not wanting to seem as if he was eavesdropping, keeping his head bowed in a submissive posture. He felt eyes on him again and resisted the urge to growl, shifting the bag on his shoulders.

When the Beta gestured for him to come forward, Dean swallowed past his nervousness and hesitantly stepped forward. The Beta held the door open for him and, while he didn’t like a stranger at his back, Dean felt it necessary to comply for now. He quickly stepped inside and immediately felt warmer, though it didn’t stop his shivering. The door closed behind and he cast a quick glance, seeing the Beta had followed him in and was leaning against the wall casually.

The cabin was…not what Dean expected. Granted, he avoided Alphas at every cost and so he wasn’t accustomed to their homes, but this seemed strange. Comfortable furniture (as comfortable as one could get anyway), but not a large amount. A small couch and chair sitting in front of the fireplace, a simple round table big enough for two, a bookshelf with-rarest of all-books, and a bed stuffed into the corner. Various candles were on almost every surface, flickering dimly. Dream catchers hung from the ceiling, wood carved figurines were lined on top of the fireplace, and…yeah, that was a bong.

Strangest of all, however, was the man sitting in the middle of it all.

He sat cross-legged on a huge pillow, his dark hair sticking up wildly and his scruff covering up the bottom half of his face. His clothes were loose, the shirt hanging off one shoulder and showing off scarred, tanned skin and the hint of a nipple half hidden underneath the fabric. He didn’t wear any shoes, but beaded necklaces hung around his neck and a silver piercing shone in one ear. A haze of smoke was in the air and Dean guessed from the smell it wasn’t from the fire.

And then those eyes, previously closed, opened and Dean almost fell to his knees. Fuck, they were blue. Like really fucking blue. And deep, and dark, and staring at him so intensely Dean’s Omega urges wanted him to get on all fours and present. He held that in check, just barely, and tried to breathe through his mouth. The delicious scent coming off the man and the sheer beauty of him was ramping up his impending heat.  
The man took a good, long inhale and his eyes widened as he stood. He moved smoothly with solid muscle and Dean almost whimpered.

“Omega.”

Oh God, that voice. Like a growl, deep and guttural. Like he’d just fucked and groaned for hours, and Dean could just imagine all the dirty things that voice could say.

Shit. If he didn’t stop this train of thought he was going to slick everywhere.

“Where did you come from?”

Dean’s lips parted, but he didn’t speak. He took a deep breath through his mouth, making a point to avoid breathing in the Alpha’s scent, especially when he was this close. Dean could feel the warmth rolling off of him in waves, and he knew at that moment that his delicious scent was particularly pungent. It was a natural smell, like ocean water, and tinged with something dry and smoky...almost like a bonfire. A beach bonfire.

The Alpha surveyed him a moment longer before he spoke again.

“Where did he come from?” His eyes moved from Dean’s gaze over where the Beta still stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall.  
“He found us,” the Beta murmured, shrugging his shoulders. “Hasn’t said much.”

The Alpha hummed and cocked his head, stroking his heavily stubbled chin. He took a couple of slow steps forward and narrowed his eyes, looking Dean up and down.

The reaction, so instinctual and instantaneous, that Dean barely registered what he was doing. He stepped back, whole frame tensing, his lips peeling back in a low snarl to show his small fangs. His fingers splayed, nails grew into claws, eyes flashing dangerously.

The Beta tensed, pushing off the wall as a warning growl ripped from his throat. Dean ignored it, his eyes never leaving the Alpha in front of him.

The Alpha froze and held up a hand to the Beta, a slow smile spreading across his face. The Beta stopped but didn’t relax, attention fully on Dean, ready to follow whatever order he may get. Alpha moved his hands out in front of him, holding them up defensively.

“Easy, Omega,” he said gently. “There’s no need for the display. I’m not going to touch you. Neither is Benny, here. You’re safe.”

Dean blinked slowly, making a conscious effort to put his fangs away, his muscles unclenching after a few tense moments. He huffed and rolled his shoulders, some of the snow caked on falling to the floor.

Horror slowly dawned on him and he hung his head slightly as he realized he’d just threatened this pack’s Alpha. Dean wanted to slap himself. He came here for a new start, not to be mauled five minutes after stepping through the door.

Dean, in an effort to save his skin, slowly and painstakingly offered his neck. He’d seen this before, knew it was custom for Alphas to scent newcomers and had assumed he’d have to do it too. Even if the thought of letting an Alpha anywhere near his neck was enough to to almost incite panic.

“Try to relax, Omega,” the Alpha said gently, finally lowering his own hands to his sides. He paused for a moment and looked like he’d take a step forward, but he stopped again and pressed his lips together. “You’re uncomfortable, and I don’t need to scent you. I can smell you from here.”

He looked to Benny and nodded. “Thank you, Benny. You may leave us now.”

Benny gave him a sort of half nod and turned to leave, pushing the door closed behind him.

The Alpha held out a comforting hand again and turned slowly, letting Dean know that he wasn’t going to move into his space. Instead he went to the cupboard on the far side of the room and pulled out a small gold box, bringing it with him back to his pillow on the floor. He sat in the middle of it and opened the box, taking out a tightly wrapped joint and putting it between his teeth. He lit it with a match and inhaled deeply, squinting through the smoke up at Dean.

“Can you tell me your name, Omega?”

Dean stood awkwardly, but nodded slowly. “Dean…” he murmured, glancing around the cabin again. The Alpha hadn’t scented him and Dean couldn’t tell if that was good or bad. His biology insisted it was bad, horrible, that his smell must be repulsive if the Alpha didn’t want to come near.

“Hello, Dean.” The Alpha said finally, exhaling. “My name is Castiel.” He motioned to the array of smaller pillows opposite him, and pulled the joint from his lips, holding it out in offering. “Would you care to sit with me?”

Dean frowned at the pillows, then at Castiel, unsure of what to make of this Alpha. He reluctantly dropped his bag and stiffly lowered himself onto a pillow, his limbs still quite frozen from his long journey.

He eyed the joint and shook his head. Dean didn’t want anything impairing him while around the Alpha, even if said Alpha seemed relatively harmless compared to others. Dean licked his lips and sighed, happy to be sitting for a moment, and on such a comfortable pillow too. Much better than the ones he’d scrounged up back at what he’d called home.

Castiel nodded subtly and hit the joint again, sitting it in a small ashtray as he exhaled. He scrubbed his hands through his hair and sniffed loudly, then cleared his throat. His hands fell to his lap and he looked directly at Dean, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“How did you come to find us, Dean?”

Dean shrugged, flicking more melting snow off his jeans as he squeezed his legs to get feeling back into them. “Rumors,” he muttered, keeping his eyes downcast. “Said there’d be a camp here. Safe for omegas...just followed your scent.”

Dean spared a glance up and realized how close he was to the Alpha. Castiel was older than him, the small splatters of gray in his hair and the slight wrinkle around his eyes the only things giving his age away.

“I see.” Castiel clasped his hands together in his lap. “You look like you’ve come a long way. It’s...unlikely you would have picked up my scent before you reached this forest, as I tend to stay here among my people. I suppose I’m wondering how you made it to the point where you could even follow my scent. As you might imagine, we try to remain decently unknown here, so that I may keep my Omegas safe. So I hope you understand that I’m simply trying to ensure their safety moving forward.”

Dean’s eyebrows furrowed and he wondered just how many Omegas this Alpha had dominion over. He’d expected as much when he walked into the encampment, what with the only Alpha scent being Castiel’s. A harem of some sort then. Well, it wasn’t unheard of. Dean wasn’t keen on becoming a part of an Alpha’s whore house, but if it meant protection...and from what he can tell, this Alpha at least took care of his pack, if the cabins and sheer size was anything to go by.

“I...don’t know what to tell you,” Dean finally shrugged, looking back down at his lap. “I’ve been following your scent for a long time. Only info I had was the camp may have been near this part of Kansas…”

Castiel nodded and looked down, leaning over to pick up the joint and ash it in the tray. “I’m to assume by the fact that you’re here that you wish to stay here, under my protection.” He glanced up at Dean again. “So then I must ask, is there anyone out there who may come looking for you? Anyone you’re perhaps...running from?”

Dean fidgeted under Alpha’s gaze and shook his head in a firm no, fingers clenching in his lap. “No, I don’t...I don’t have anyone.” No one who cared enough anyway.

He rubbed absently at his neck, his skin prickling, itching. His heat was closer than he thought. Perhaps it was the presence of an Alpha pushing it closer. He shifted and Castiel stiffened, nostrils flaring slightly. He shook his head quickly and raised the joint to his lips again, and Dean thinks he might have imagined the reaction.

“There isn’t much nearby,” Castiel remarked off-handedly, blowing smoke out of his nose. “Were you staying at another settlement?”

Dean shook his head again, hands falling to his lap. “No,” he said simply. When Castiel blinked expectantly, Dean looked down at his still slightly numb hands.

“I was on my own. I didn’t belong to another pack.”

Castiel straightened a little at that, taking a long drag of the joint and sitting in back in the tray. He rolled his shoulders back and leaned his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

“If you had no Alpha, how did you survive your heats?”

Dean looked away, jaw set. “Painfully.”

“I see.” Castiel watched him for a long moment, and even through his anxiety Dean could tell that he was attempting to convey comforting vibes, the soothing smell rolling off of him in waves. Although it wasn’t helping much now, Dean takes it as a good sign that he cares enough to try. “You’re about to hit another one.”

Dean swallowed and nodded, his skin twitching beneath his clothes. “A day. Maybe two.” He ducked his head and rubbed his palms over his now damp jeans. He made the mistake of breathing through his nose and bit back a groan. God, but this Alpha smelled incredible. The scent was ramping his body up and the longer he was near him the sooner his heat would hit.

“Yes,” Castiel clasped his hands together again. “I would have remarked upon your scent, but we’ve only just met, and I find that method of introduction to just be so…” he scrunched his nose and raised his shoulders, letting them drop again with a sigh through his nose. “Rude, for one. Archaic. Animalistic. I much prefer my people to actually speak with me, tell me how they’re feeling.” He paused again, eyes on Dean’s face once more. “You may stay here, Dean. You will show me respect, obey, and in turn I’ll protect you, care for you, keep you fed and comfortable. Understand?”

Dean grit his teeth, fangs grinding together almost loud enough to hear. This was what he came for, what he sacrificed for. He knew full well that if he accepted the Alpha’s protection he was obligated to obey. This Castiel seemed…laid back, but Dean had a feeling it was merely a mask. He sensed a powerful, strong wolf in this one. Like the ones of legend. Like what most thought they came from.

The Omega nodded stiffly, looking up at Castiel through his eyelashes. “Yes.”

A feral grin spread across Castiel’s face as he raised the joint to his lips.

“Good boy.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work is unbeta'd. All mistakes are our own.
> 
> *Original prompt idea credit: Mishaminion69 (deanmon69 on Tumblr)
> 
> **Original character Ysabella credit goes to my good friend and old RP partner, who created a layered and interesting character I was inspired to use as a past love interest. Please check out her Tumblr @thislittlewhitelight and let her know how awesome she is!

Dean didn’t get any sleep that first night. Despite the eerie quiet of the rest of the compound, his thoughts were loud and invasive. Castiel was the only Alpha on this settlement, which in itself was particularly odd. But he also seemed to be a genuinely nice and respected leader, and that was something Dean just couldn’t seem to comprehend after all the Alphas he’d ever come across in his lifetime.

He didn’t have much else to say to Castiel after he was granted permission to stay, and so Castiel eventually dismissed him, still without scenting him. Dean wondered vaguely how difficult it may have been for him, and additionally chewed over how much self-control he must have. Most Alphas had a difficult time controlling themselves around Omegas in general, especially because most take what they want without caring. But here Dean is, only a day or so away from a full-blown heat, and his Alpha didn’t seem to bat an eye.

His Alpha.

He shuddered at the thought. Of course Castiel wasn’t his Alpha. He’s simply the Alpha protecting him from all the terror of the world...a world obviously not built for Omegas. Dean doesn’t belong to anyone. He never has.

Accept for all intents and purposes, Castiel is his Alpha, just like he’s the Alpha of every other Omega residing in this settlement. Dean hadn’t had the chance yet to get an official count, but he knows it’s a lot. And now he’s wondering where Castiel finds the time for all these Omegas, much less the stamina.

Anddd that’s definitely not something he should be considering on the cusp of his heat.

After Castiel dismissed him, Benny showed him to a cabin. It was smaller than some of the others and less stocked, but Benny ensured him that he would take care of everything. 

“As you can imagine, we weren’t ‘xactly expectin’ visitors, you know?” Benny drawled out, dropping a linen bag on the rickety table. “But this one is vacant right now, and there’s a few candles here...and here.” He pointed to the windows and the bedside table. He pulled the blankets he had thrown over his shoulder off and threw them onto the bed. “To keep warm tonight. Someone will bring you more tomorrow, since you’re expecting your heat. There are fake knots here, if you need ‘em.” He gestured to the bag. “Listen, everyone here likes to do theirs a little differently. You can opt for this way, or you can request an Alpha to get you through the heat. No judgement from anyone, and it’s completely up to you. If you choose to brave the heat alone, Castiel will assign a Beta to guard your cabin so you don’t have to worry about Alphas ending up where they don’t belong.”

Dean watched him warily, pulling his jacket tight around his body.

Benny scratched absently at his beard, letting out a deep breath. “You got lucky, cher. If you hadn’t found us you would’ve been going through this out there in the wild. But you’ll be safe here, now. Castiel is a good man, and a good Alpha.”

Dean tried to remember that as he laid in his bed that night, the first night in as long as he can remember in which he was decently warm and comfortable. That the one he’d call his Alpha was a good man. That he’d care for him and protect him. 

\----

The next morning, Dean stared at the window as light slowly shifted through clouds, trickling past the thin curtains. His skin was flushed, his breath coming in pants, and his lower abdomen cramped and clenched. He had a few hours at best before the heat truly started. 

Dean slowly sat up, rubbing at his belly, and blinked wearily at the small cabin. He sniffed about, checking who was nearby even if he didn’t know anyone yet. Castiel’s overbearing scent blanketed everything, but he could make out Benny’s as well. The Beta wasn’t far off. 

He hesitated, wondering what he was supposed to do. He feared emerging from his little hovel, but there wasn’t any food. The small kitchenette was bare, and Dean would need something to get him through the next few days. 

He finally stood on trembling legs and peered outside of his door, eyes dancing around nervously. A few pack members were already up and going, doing whatever it was that they do. Most past by him without a glance, but a couple did look his way curiously. Dean searched anxiously for Benny and almost jumped when the big Beta was suddenly rounding the corner of his cabin and at his door. 

“Goin’ somewhere, cher?” Benny muscled his way inside so none of the people passing could see anything but him, and he closed the door firmly behind him. He produced another linen bag, plopping it down on the table and rifling through it. “I’m guessin’ you’re probably pretty hungry. Got some squash and carrots here, and the kitchen is serving up potato soup later. But no worries, I’ll bring it by. You won’t be leaving this room at all soon, it seems.” He turned and motioned to Dean, giving him a grunt. “Need anythin’ else?”

Dean shifted from foot to foot, chewing on his lip. He’d had a system before, supplies built up over years of scavenging. But that was all gone now and he didn’t know how much he could rely on Benny. 

He blushed, knowing what he needed to ask but really not wanting to. Dean wrapped his arms around himself and jerked his head towards the bed. 

“I...I’m heavy...when...when I slick,” he mumbled, face reddening further. “It’s...gonna make a mess.” 

“Hey, that’s alright,” Benny assured him, reaching forward to pat him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about that. Someone’ll come by with fresh sheets each day anyway, but I’ll go on and put in a request for them to hit your room twice, alrigh’?”

Benny coughed once and walked back over to the door, stopping and turning around again. “Did you decide you wanted an Alpha for your heat, or the fake knot? Castiel wanted me to ask, because if you need an Alpha he’ll need to find you a compatible one, and he knows we’re running out of time. He wants to make sure you’re comfortable and all that.”

Dean firmly shook his head, arms tightening around himself as he held in a snarl. “No,” he growled, finding digging into his arm. “No Alphas. No knots. No one.” 

Benny paused and pressed his lips together, looking Dean up and down quickly. Finally he nodded and pushed the door open slightly.

“Yeah, okay. Calm down, now. That's okay. Listen here, I'll personally guard your cabin tonight, alrigh’? You don't gotta worry about nothin’.” He swallowed and pushed the door open, exiting and pushing it closed behind him. 

Dean relaxed marginally once Benny was gone, though he sensed the Beta was very close by. He chucked off his jacket, which he’d slept in, and started digging through the bag of food. He pulled out the carrots and dug for a pot, which he’d found quickly, and filled it with water. It was small, but that’s all he needed. With some creativity he got the tiny stove going and dumped the carrots into the water to soften up. 

While they boiled, Dean glanced out his window and watched the rest of the pack wake up. Men, women, and children all scurried about in the snow. Chimneys pumped out smoke as firewood was gathered, and very quickly the camp was full of life. 

Dean felt odd. Alone. Isolated. But that was nothing new. He’d spent most of his life this way. He blinked, watching a pregnant Omega waddle carefully, a Beta close by her side. She looked plump, well cared for, healthy. 

Dean looked away and closed the curtain, ignoring that all too familiar pang in his chest. He rubbed at his cramping belly and silently watched his carrots boil. When he deemed them done, he quickly scarfed them down. Afterwards he laid back down, stripping off the rest of clothes, and curled into a ball as the first wave of intense heat hit his body. 

The next few hours were excruciating, the heat and cramps coming in strong waves. Then the worst part hit, the contraction- like pain, the overwhelming need to have something, anything inside him. But he resisted, like he always did, grinding his teeth through each urge, fangs distended. In a day or two's time that urge would become a need, a need for a knot, for something to extinguish the fire building within him. 

He curled in on himself and dug his fingernails into his own arms, shaking violently.  
\----

Benny guarded the door those first few hours, his bulky body blocking any brave stares directed his way. No one tried to stop and sniff, however. Castiel’s rules were absolute and no one dared to disobey. 

Finally, another Beta relieved Benny for a quick break. He nodded at the other and promptly left for Castiel’s cabin. He was hungry, but food would have to wait. He knocked on Cas’s door briefly before letting himself in, closing it behind him. 

“Chief,” Benny sighed, removing his hat and rubbing at his head. “We need to talk about this new Omega.” 

Castiel looked up from his pillow in the middle of the room, legs crossed and hands resting on his thighs. His hair was messy and he had dark circles under his eyes, but he attempted a small smile before seeing the expression on Benny’s face. 

“You have concerns.”

“He's wary, especially so for an Omega his size. Can't hardly get him to say a full sentence. Shifty, distrusting…” Benny paused and sighed. “He doesn't want to take a knot during his heat. At all. He's - he's gonna go without.” Benny clicked his tongue. “Been around awhile, man. Tended to a lot of Omegas since I been here, double that at other places before here. I think we gotta bigger problem than a scared Omega. They're all scared. This ain't that.”

Castiel nodded slowly, lowering his voice. “You think he's an abuse victim?”

“I think there's a damn good reason our boy won't take a knot, and it ain't that he's a prude.”

Castiel nodded again and scrubbed his hands over his face, then stood with a groan. “Please ask Garth if he will be willing to schedule a session with him, when the heat has subsided.”

“Alright.” Benny stood with his hands in his pockets and watched as Castiel crossed the floor slowly, breathing carefully through his mouth and pulling at his shirt nervously. “You okay, boss?”

“What?” Castiel turned and shook his head quickly. “Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry. It's just… his scent. It's… potent.”

Benny dipped his chin, the brim of his hat just above his eyes. “I reckon. It any worse than normal, though?”

Castiel bit his lip. “No, I don't suppose so. Just new.”

Benny narrowed his eyes. “Uh huh. You meditatin’ on it?” He gestured to the pillow. 

Castiel bit back a small smile. “Good for your mind, Benny. You should try it sometime.”

Benny scoffed and smiled back, then gave him a wave and left.  
\----

By nightfall, Dean’s heat was reaching the almost unbearable point. He was coated in sweat, writhing on the small bed, the sheets soaked through with slick. He clawed at the sheets, chuffing and panting, his cock straining between his legs. 

Everything hurt. 

From his head to his toes, Dean was on fire. Aching. Cramping. He grit his teeth through it, shaking uncontrollably, his bottom half clenching desperately for something, anything. By morning his body would be begging for a knot, sending out scent signals so potent it will make a Beta’s nose itch. By morning Dean would have little control, but for now he could just barely reign it in. 

Dean rutted hopelessly into the sheets, his cock so red and swollen it hurt. His cum mixed with the slick already staining the sheets. More gushed out, wave after wave, his passage swollen and open and ready. But he would deny his body what it wants. He wouldn’t give in. Even if it meant death. At least if he died, it was by his terms. In a warm cabin, a good bed, safe as an Omega could be. 

It was midnight when he finally caught a small break in the cycle. He laid still, cheek pressed into the pillow, as he stared up at his window. The night sky was dark, only a few stars shining. No snow fell, but it must still be freezing. He could smell Benny, though, standing guard at his door. 

Dean sat up with a wince, his body trembling. He needed water. Food. Before it all started up again. He crawled out of bed and to the single seat table where a pitcher of water sat. He drank from it desperately, not stopping until half of it was gone. 

Dean shivered as he rooted through the food, his body an odd mixture of cold and hot. He munched on some squash and potato soup, just barely finishing when a cramp almost doubled him over. 

Dean groaned pathetically and crawled back over to the bed, curling into a ball as his heat pounded back into him. It was going to be a night of little sleep and excruciating pain. 

At the end of that day a knock finally came at the door, and Benny didn't wait for an answer before entering. He removed his hat and scratched nervously at the back of his neck as he surveyed Dean curled up under the blanket and shivering so hard his teeth were chattering. He stepped up and laid the back of his hand across Dean's forehead, whistling as he pulled away. 

“Cher, you gotta...I mean, you can't just-” he let out a deep breath. “It'll kill you, man. The fever… it'll eat you up. You need a knot.”

Dean chuffed into the pillow and weakly shook his head. “No,” he croaked brokenly, tears sliding down his face. He was too exhausted to care about them or the fact that this Beta, this stranger, was seeing him in such a weakened state. He’d always done these alone, isolated in his hole of a home. 

“No knots,” Dean stammered, his scent souring with fear as he burrowed deeper into the covers. “No knot, nononono…” 

“Boss is worried, chief. He's not gonna like it if you keep fighting it.” Benny sat down on the end of the bed, bending the brim of his hat between his hands. “He wanted me to check in on you specifically. He's seen what can happen to Omegas with incomplete heats. It's dangerous.”

Dean pressed himself against the wall as much as he could, continuing to shake his head adamantly. He’d never used a knot since...that, and he wasn’t about to start.

“Don’t care,” he huffed darkly, squeezing his eyes shut as a cramp pulsed through him. He whimpered and massaged his belly, though it did little good. “If I die, I die. No knot.”

Benny sighed and scrubbed his hand down his face, letting it fall to his thigh with a slap. 

“Alright, then. We need to at least work to keep the fever under control. We'll try cool compresses first, but if it gets too high you'll need an ice bath. Hang in there, I'll be back.”

He left without another word, and Dean heard him outside asking another Beta to watch the door, then the crunching of snow as he walked away. 

Dean realized, in his foggy state, that he was being difficult. His first day as a member of his pack and he was already causing trouble. But it was his body, damn it, and he wouldn’t allow a knot. No matter how much his body begged and sweated and slicked. 

He shifted on the bed and growled when his gut ached horribly, his insides pulsing with wave after wave of heat. When a particularly painful cramp seized him, Dean howled and arched off the bed. Slick slid out of his hole as it clenched wildly at nothing. His scent was thick, strong, and the rest of the camp could probably smell it by now. His body was sending out desperate signals, calling for any Alphas nearby, wafting out his scent to tell them he was open and ready. 

It felt like Benny was gone a long time when Dean heard the door open and close again, but he kept his eyes screwed shut and he faced the wall, too embarrassed to look at the Beta anymore. He stepped softly across the wood floor and Dean felt the bed shift as he sat on the edge again. Gentle fingers splayed across his arm before he felt the chill of a cloth draped across his forehead. 

“Benny tells me you're refusing a knot.”

Dean froze at the unexpected sound of Castiel's voice, every muscle rigid. Fear seeped into his scent again, saturating it, and he actually fucking whimpered like some pup. Dean curled into a tight ball, an arm wrapping around his own head in some helpless attempt to protect himself. He worked to keep himself as far from the Alpha as possible, even if his traitorous Omega biology practically sang with the proximity of that delicious scent. An embarrassing amount of slick poured out and his hole fluttered, seeking the knot nearby.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. But Benny came to me with concerns, and he said you were being...stubborn.” Castiel squeezed his arm and let go, removing the cloth and folding it over to reapply again. He continued, his voice frustratingly calm. “Dean, your temperature is dangerously high. I can't make you do anything you don't want to, nor will I try. But we need to do our best to get you through this, and we'll discuss other options when your heat breaks.”

Dean listened through his fevered haze, the whole situation so weird and surreal he began to wonder if he was hallucinating. There was no way an Alpha would sit calmly by an Omega’s side while said Omega was in the throes of heat. His scent alone should be enough to drive Castiel mad.

He huffed and loosened up slightly, too tired to stay curled on himself for too long. Dean shifted to lay on his back, grimacing as the slick soaked sheets rubbed against his skin. Fuck, he was a mess. He always had a messy heat, more so than most. 

“I…” Dean closed his eyes tightly, fighting back frustrated tears. He wanted to ask for help, beg for it, but Castiel was an Alpha. He’d never known a trustworthy Alpha.

Castiel took a deep breath in through his mouth and reached out again, resting long slender fingers over Dean's hand. He licked his lips quickly and pressed them together, his eyes turned down in the corners. 

“I'm sorry, Dean, I have to go now.” He pulled away slowly, standing and making his way to the door. He took another look around the room before pushing open the door. “Benny will continue to check on you, work on getting that fever down. He'll report to me regularly. I'll come back as soon as I'm able.”

Dean swallowed and reached for Castiel weakly before he even realized what he was doing. Already he felt alone, his Alpha leaving him here to suffer as his body convulsed in pain. He opened his mouth to call for Castiel, but the Alpha was already shutting the door and Dean was left to sob by himself. 

Of course Castiel didn’t want him. His Alpha could sense it, smell it...that Dean was damaged, broken, no good. His heat scent didn’t entice Castiel, it repulsed him. His slick was nothing but a disgusting mess to clean up. His body offered no temptation to the Alpha. Dean was too big, too stubborn, too everything.

He whimpered and curled into the sheets, sniffing desperately at the already fading smell of Castiel. 

Benny did check on him several more times that day and the next, and Castiel made another attempt to visit, much shorter even than the first. By day four, Dean’s fever broke and his slick mostly dissipated, and he was finally able to change and keep clean, dry clothes. 

He was just finishing eating when Benny knocked on the door and entered, already for the second time that day. 

“Mornin’, Dean. How do you feel about speaking with our friend Garth today?”

Dean’s jaw slowed around the bite of sausage in his mouth, the first real piece of cooked meat he’s had since he left his home for this camp. He looked up at Benny and swallowed, narrowing his eyes.

“Garth,” he grunted, suspicion lacing his voice. “Who’s Garth?”

“Garth’s job is to help you adjust here in a new settlement.” Benny put his hands in his pockets and leaned up against the wall, giving him a shrug. “It’s standard procedure with all our new Omegas. Castiel likes to make sure you all have the opportunity to speak with someone about...whatever you feel like you may need to talk about.”

Dean frowned deeply and was already shaking his head before Benny was even done speaking. “No,” he grunted, going back to his food and biting hard on his sausage. “Don’t need to talk.” 

He set his jaw stubbornly, his back rigid, shoulders hunched. Like hell he was letting some strange beta or omega poke and prod at him with questions. 

“Aw, come now, Dean,” Benny urged, pushing his hat up on his head. “Look, it’d make me feel a lot better if I knew you went. You’ll like Garth, he’s an interesting guy. And you don’t have to tell anyone anything you’re uncomfortable with.” 

Benny seemed to notice that Dean remained unconvinced, so he cleared his throat and tapped his fingers against the table. “Hey, listen. I’m going out fishing later. Typically that kind of meal is reserved for the sick or pregnant Omegas, but if you do me the favor of going to speak with Garth, even if it’s just for a few minutes, I can try to sneak some by to you. Waddaya say?”

Dean straightened in his seat and chewed thoughtfully on the last of his breakfast. He'd never had the right equipment for fishing. Everything he caught was by hand and in the winter it was just too damn cold to go splashing around in the river. He hadn’t had fish in months. 

He sighed and looked Benny up and down before nodding slowly. “Fine,” he huffed and stood, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ll talk to Garth.” 

Benny clapped him on the back. “Atta boy. I’ll go see when he can see you and let you know, okay? In the meantime, feel free to walk around, get a feel for the place.”

Dean watched as Benny left and wedged the door shut behind him. The sun reflected brightly off the snow on the ground, but Dean could tell it was still respectfully cold outside. Out his window, behind the cabin next door to him, a couple of pups who couldn’t be more than five or six years old built a snowman, using sticks and rocks to plaster an expression on his face. Dean thought the snowman looked resigned to his fate.. He felt the same way.

Benny returned a short while later, telling Dean he could go see Garth in about an hour. Having been stuck in the cabin for the better part of four days, and with nothing else to do, Dean put on as many layers as he could and stepped outside. 

He shoved his hands in his pockets and blinked against the sun, shoulders hunched to fend off the cold. Dean could hear the pups next door laughing and squealing, and pointedly chose to go the opposite direction. 

He wandered aimlessly, but took in every detail of the camp he came across. His nose picked up dozens of members, most of them Betas but a fair amount of Omegas as well. He wondered, again, how Castiel had time for them all. Then again, he hadn’t seemed interested in Dean at all. Maybe some of his Omegas weren’t for touching. Purely bragging rights to other Alphas, to have control over so many. 

Dean ducked his head as one of the Omegas happened by him. She was more plump than he was, with a bright smile and blond hair. 

“Hiya!”

Dean froze, not expecting anyone to speak to him, let alone one of the other Omegas.

“You’re the new one right? Dean?” 

Dean nodded stiffly. 

She smiled again. “I’m Donna.” 

She held out her hand and Dean stared at it, confused. Her smile faltered for only a second before she shrugged and let the hand fall. 

“So how are ya likin’ the compound so far?” She asked cheerily, shoving her hands in her pockets. Her long hair was pulled into a low ponytail that was slung over her shoulder and curly at the end.

Dean opened his mouth to speak but jumped when he heard a bloodcurdling scream, and the offending pup ran between the two of them, holding his side and falling face down into the snow. Dean’s eyes widened and he almost bent down to see what was wrong when another pup ran up behind the first with a long stick, holding it above his head before bringing it down on the first pup in a mock-stabbing. Donna’s eyes followed them as they got up and ran away laughing and she smiled brightly, her nose scrunching. 

Dean swallowed and tried to force a smile, but none came. Donna’s smile faded as she looked back over at him, and she reached out tentatively, resting a hand on his forearm. 

“You okay, Dean?”

If she’d been anything other than an Omega in that moment, Dean would have thrown her off with a vicious snarl. But she smelled comforting, sweet, bright like a flower. She smelled like a sister. He not only tolerated the touch, but even leaned into it briefly. 

“Fine,” he coughed out, then cleared his throat. “I’m fine. Just...a lot.” He eyed the whole encampment, at the hustle and bustle of everything. Even surrounded by his new pack, Dean felt completely alone. And so useless. Everyone seemed to have their job. What did he do? Omegas were only good for breeding and fucking. But his Alpha didn’t seem interested in either of those things with Dean. 

“Oh ya, I get that. It can be a lot to take in at first.” Donna shoved her hands in her pockets again and took a look around the compound, squinting against the sunlight reflecting off the roof of one of the cabins. “It’s a good place to be, though. I bounced around a bit before I found refuge here. You will grow to love it, I’m confident.”

She looked back at him and pursed her lips, brushing some hair out of her face. “Listen, Dean. My cabin is right over there.” She pointed to the far end on the left, which actually ended up being only a few doors down from his own. “If you need anything...a guide, some advice, just some company...anything, you come let me know, you hear?”

Dean glanced over at her cabin, which was easily twice the size of his. Maybe she had pups, too. Were all the pups Castiel’s? He looked back at Donna, her cheerful face and rosy cheeks, and allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to actually have a friend. Donna seemed...soft, kind. And healthy. Dean hugged at his middle self consciously, wincing he felt the poke of his ribs even through all the layers. 

“Yes...okay,” Dean finally said with a small nod, scratching absently at the scruff on his cheek. “Might do that.” He fell silent again, shifting awkwardly on his feet.

“You should,” Donna turned to head back to her cabin, but paused and looked at him again. “Were ya goin’ somewhere? Need a tour guide?” She motioned to her cabin and gave it a dismissive wave. “I don’t have much else goin’ on right now, if you’d like the company?”

Dean bit at his lip, glancing around, and thought that sounded like a good idea. He had no idea where anything was, where he was allowed to go, or how anything worked around here.

“Okay,” he said simply, and nodded at Donna to lead the way.

Donna gave a bright smile. “Righty-o! Let’s go then. We’ll start at the beginning.”

She turned and went back the other way, gesturing for Dean to follow. Snow crunched under their feet and all around them as people milled about, most completely oblivious to the two of them other than to wave or greet Donna. 

“So here’s the entrance then, but you knew that,” Donna waved to the electric fence and the couple of large Betas that were guarding it, and they waved back. “Now, there’s only one way in or out of here, and that’s this right here. There’s patrol all the way around the compound, on different areas of the fence, but this is the only area that actually opens. People don’t have to leave very often. We have almost everything we need here, on the land.”

They started walking again, and Donna gestured around at the numerous cabins and people milling about. 

“You’ll notice there are quite a few pups here. A lot of Omegas found their way here when they were pregnant. Left with pup, abandoned, abused. You’ll have a hard time telling whose pups are whose.” She trilled a laugh, the genuinity of it almost making Dean want to smile. “It’s a typical pack mentality here. We all care for each other. Take care of one another. I have more pups than I can count in and out of my home in a day’s time.”

Just then a snowball was hurled their direction, hitting Donna in the thigh. She immediately bent down and made a snowball herself, throwing it back in the direction the other came from and hitting the corner of the cabin a young pup was hiding behind. He giggled maniacally and ran off while Donna chuckled to herself. 

“So anywho, this here cabin is-”

“Wait,” Dean stopped in his tracks and Donna raised her brow, still smiling brightly. “You...you said these pups came here?” She nodded. Dean shifted on his feet, blushing slightly. “So they’re not...they’re not all Castiel’s?”

Donna paused momentarily before laughing again, almost immediately stopping herself when she saw the confused look on Dean’s face. 

“Well of course not, silly,” she patted his arm again. “Most were born here, after their parents sought refuge here. Many of them only know the Omega who birthed them as a parent. No Alphas in the picture once they come here, except to help with heats. Sometimes the Omegas here will take a mate, but if they do, they leave the compound.”

She started to continue but stopped again. “You really thought all these pups were his?”

Dean shrugged and looked down, feeling really stupid now. But none of it made sense. Cas is Alpha, and these are his Omegas. Yet he doesn’t seem to mate with any of them, none of these pups are his, and he even allows other Alphas in for their heats. 

“I don’t...understand,” Dean finally said, looking up at her warm eyes and relaxing some. “We’re...he’s Alpha. We belong to him. Why…” He shook his head and looked around again, watching another group of pups play in the snow. Not a single one resembled Cas, or even had his scent. 

“Castiel is not your average Alpha,” Donna said, solidifying Dean’s general assessment. “He believes in inclusiveness. Fairness. He doesn't consider us possessions. He considers us equals.”

Equals.

Dean blinked, and blinked again, and still wasn’t sure if he was hearing this right. So he’s in a pack where the Alpha doesn’t breed with his Omegas, and yet doesn’t allow other Alphas in as members, keeps his Omegas fed and taken care of for...seemingly nothing in return, and doesn’t kill pups that aren’t his. He clearly keeps a close eye on his Omegas, but according to Donna they’re all equals here. It was a strange mix of possessiveness and freedom, and Dean doesn’t know what to make of it.

Dean cleared his throat when he realized Donna was waiting patiently for some sort of response. “Sorry, I just…” He shrugged helplessly. “A lot to take in. ‘S all so...strange.”

“Oh ya, I get it. It was a tough one for me to swallow, too.” She started to walk then stopped again, holding up a finger. “Also. So things don’t get too confusing for you...a lot of these pups do think of him as a father figure. They don’t have any other Alphas in their life and he helps to fill that role. He’s stability for them, he’s protection, he provides for them...all of the things their Alpha fathers should have done. So don’t be alarmed if you hear any of them referring to him as their father.” She shrugged and turned, waiting for Dean to take a step forward before she continued to walk.

Dean followed after her silently, only half listening as she pointed out the kitchen (which was cooking something that smelled amazing) and the cabin where they treated the sick or wounded, along with the cabin right next to it where pregnant Omegas had their pups. He blinked at it, carefully keeping his face neutral when Donna told him the procedure if he were to become pregnant. 

He was happy to put that cabin behind him as they continued on. She pointed out the acres and acres of farmland, most of it barren for winter. 

“We grow and grow all year,” Donna said with a smile. “So by winter, we usually have enough reserves to last us until we can plant again. That, along with hunting, and of course, the pig farm that Rufus keeps...all that keeps everyone fed.”

Dean licked his lips and figured whatever role Castiel had for him would be worth it for all the food. His stomach growled just thinking about it.

“Now that cabin there, beside ours, that’s Kevin’s,” Donna continued, hooking her arm through Dean’s and placing a comforting hand on top when he tensed slightly. “Bobby and Ellen are down the way, off to the right.” She pointed at a cabin with smoke billowing out of the top and a shag rug laying over the porch railing. “Right next door to them is Rufus. Bobby and Rufus are a couple of grumpy old men, but you’ll grow to love them. They’d do anything for anyone. Okay, and next door to Kevin you have Eileen. She’s deaf, but she reads lips well. You’ll pick up the sign language soon too, I’m sure. Didn’t take me long.”

They finally reached the end of the compound, where Castiel’s cabin sat atop the hill, slivers peeking through the trees.

“And then of course the Alpha cabin,” Donna gestured up the hill, “but you knew that. If you have any concerns that can’t be handled down here, Castiel has an open door policy at all times.”

Dean stared up at the cabin, breathing through his mouth carefully. It didn’t do much good. Castiel’s scent was too strong, wrapping around him like the Alpha was right there in front of him. It was dominating, possessive, strong, and it both terrified Dean and drew him in. 

He huffed, blowing out as much as that scent as he could, and turned his back on the cabin. Dean squinted up at the sun and sighed, kicking at some of the snow. “Promised Benny to see Garth…” he muttered, glancing at Donna. “Where is his cabin?”

“Ohh, Garth,” Donna beamed and placed a hand over her heart. “You’ll love him; he’s fantastic. He’s just…” Donna took a few steps and pointed past Dean, at a small cabin off to itself down a path that led down next to the main row of cabins on the right. “Try to keep an open mind, okay Dean? Garth is a little eccentric but he’s really good at what he does.”

Dean grumbled under his breath and waved Donna a silent goodbye as he trudged down the path. He’d rather spend more time with Donna. She talked a lot and didn’t expect much talking in return. Also, the smell of another Omega was comforting. 

When he reached Garth’s door, Dean hesitated and thought about backing out. But the promise of extra food had him knocking, then taking a startled step back when the door flew open to reveal a very lanky Beta with big ears and a huge grin.

“Dean!” Garth gestured for him to step inside and closed the door behind him. “Right on time! Make yourself at home, I’m making some tea.”

Dean blinked as the Beta bustled around his little kitchen, whistling merrily. He stood stiffly by the door, hands in his pockets, and starting to think a few fish ain’t worth this big bag of ridiculously happy Beta.

Garth eventually poured two cups of tea and walked by over to his sitting area, which was no more than a glorified futon and a couple of bean bag chairs. He sat on the futon and sat his tea in front of him, putting Dean’s on the other side of the table so he could reach while they sat.

“So, just got in a couple of days ago, huh?” Garth took a sip of his tea and licked his lips, looking up at Dean. “Where’d you come from?”

Dean sipped at his tea, making a face at it, then set the cup down gingerly. “Nowhere,” he grunted, hands falling onto his lap and fidgeting.

Garth blinked, still smiling, waiting for Dean to continue. Dean sighed roughly.

“No pack. No Alpha. No camp. Was on my own.”

Garth sat back, letting the cup of tea rest on his thigh. “That must've been difficult for you.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Yeah.” Garth cleared his throat and sat up again. He sat his own tea on the table and gestured to Dean’s. “Sorry about the tea. I can’t have coffee because it’s too much caffeine. Tea suits me better, and it helps me to sleep, which I often struggle with. The taste isn’t the best, but sometimes you have to sacrifice things like that for your health.”

The implication wasn’t lost on Dean, but he just nodded solemnly.

“So how did you find out about Eden?”

Dean raised a brow. “Eden?”

“Yeah,” Garth picked up his cup again and raised it to his lips, then seemed to remember himself, tapping his forehead and shaking his head. “Oh, yes. I’m sorry. That’s what I like to call this place. It doesn’t really have an official name, and Castiel thinks the nickname sounds sacrilegious, but I think it fits.”

Dean raised his other brow and wonders if Castiel is even religious. Probably not. Hopefully not. Dean has encountered overly religious Alphas before. It never ended well. 

“I’d heard rumors,” Dean shrugged and cast his eyes about the small room. “Omegas...they pass the story around like some legend. Like Alphas who think they can shift.” Dean snorted and looked down at his lap, rubbing his palms on his thighs. “About some camp with an Alpha who takes care of his Omegas. I just...left. Followed the scent. Found this.” 

“Well it sounds like you found us just in time, too,” Garth remarked as he drained the rest of his tea and set the empty cup back on the table. “So you’ve now had your first heat with us. Can you tell me a little bit about how it went?”

Dean blanched visibly and scooted back some, muscles clenching under his clothes. “That...no,” he shook his head. “Not talkin’ about that.” That had been one of the worst heats he’s ever had. The older he gets the harder the heats without an Alpha to soothe the ache.

“I see.” Garth clasped his hands together in his lap and tongued at the inside of his cheek, furrowing his brow. It was blessedly quiet for a few moments as Dean surveyed the cabin, the inside an interesting mix of zen and Garth’s apparent eclectic style. “How old are you, Dean?”

Dean blinked, opened his mouth to answer, then promptly shut it. Because he honestly had no idea. Well, he had an idea but it was pure guesswork. 

“...26...I think,” he said slowly, frowning down at his hands. He picked idly at a frayed hole in his jeans and shrugged. “Don’t really know for sure. Parents abandoned me when I presented Omega.” 

Garth hummed and nodded, his eyes narrowed. “Why do you think you presenting Omega caused them to abandon you?”

Dean’s eyes snapped up and his lips peeled back in a low snarl. “I’m male,” he bit out. “Omegas are...holes for Alphas to fuck. Dad didn’t want a bitch son.” 

“First of all, so what if you’re male?” Garth shrugged. “We have other male Omegas right here in the compound. They’re rare, but less so than you may think. And I’m very sorry that your dad saw you that way, but that’s not what Omegas are. They’re not ‘for’ anyone, or anything. Omegas are people, just like Betas and Alphas. They’re...cherished, even. Objectification of Omegas is a very archaic way of thinking.”

Dean shrugged and tugged at the hole in his jeans, inadvertently making it bigger. He needed to fix up his clothes. He couldn’t remember the last time he patched them up. “Maybe here. Not out there,” he jerked his head out the window, where there was a view of the fence. “Omegas aren’t cherished. They’re anything but.”

He turned to Garth suddenly and tilted his head slightly. “Alpha,” Dean muttered. “How old is he?”

“Dunno exactly,” Garth frowns, “probably...mid to late forties, I’d imagine. Why?”

Dean’s eyes widened marginally and couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran down his spine. Something about an older Alpha had Dean squirming slightly and rolling his shoulders tightly. Castiel looked damn good for his age, too. Roughened, sure, but still healthy and strong. 

“No reason,” Dean cleared his throat, waving his hand dismissively. “Just curious.” 

Still, it was a bit odd. An Alpha that age usually has a few pups by now, an Omega by his side. Dean wondered why Castiel chose to remain alone, even as he surrounded himself with the most Omegas Dean has ever seen claimed by one Alpha.

Garth cleared his throat anxiously and crossed one leg over the over, clasping his hands together over his knee. “Have you ever had an Alpha, Dean?”

Dean stood abruptly, almost knocking his tea over when his knee bumped the table. “Done with this,” he tugged anxiously at his jacket and made for the door, hands visibly shaking as he reached for the door.

“Dean? Wait, please.”

Garth stumbled to his feet and held his hands up as he caught up with Dean at the door, laying his hand against the surface. “Please, don’t leave. You don’t have to answer right now. It’s okay.”

Dean glared at the wood of the door, at the scrawny hand blocking his way, and thought it would be very easy to rip those fingers off. Garth didn’t deserve that, though. And Dean, despite some of his misgivings about packs, didn’t want to ruin his chances here. 

“...Fine,” he growled, taking a step back. He didn’t sit back down, though, and paced the small space of the cabin. 

Garth folded his hands in front of him in prayer formation and bowed slightly. “Thank you.” He straightened again and sighed. “What can we talk about, Dean? What are you comfortable with?”

“Nothing,” Dean huffed and pulled roughly at his hair. “Didn’t want to come in the first place.” He abruptly stopped pacing and crossed his arms over his chest, staring stubbornly at the floor. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” Garth conceded. “Can I talk to you then?” He dropped his hands by his sides and moved to lean against the wall, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I came here about ten years ago, barely a legal adult. I came from a really bleak reality too, okay? I’ve seen a lot of terrible things, and I came here to get away from it. Plenty of others have done the same, will do the same. We all come from some kind of trouble. But here we’re finding a way to put it behind us and move forward. That’s what I did, and if you’ll let me help, that’s what you’ll do, too.”

Dean shook his head and rubbed at his eyes, all that “bleak reality” he’d come from so fresh in his mind. 

“I don’t-” He sighed and his hands dropped with a slap to his thighs. “Don’t know how to do that.” He eyed Garth warily and licked his lips. “I...don’t think I can do that.”

“We can work on it, okay? Together. Just come talk to me for a little while each day. You can talk as much or as little as you’d like.” Garth clasped his hands together in front of him, like he was about to start actually begging.

And Dean really didn’t want the Beta to beg, so he quickly agreed and tried not to grimace at the thousand watt smile he received. 

“Great!” Garth clapped his hands. “Ah, one more thing before you go.”

Dean bit back a growl, already reaching for the door again. 

“Alpha wants you to get checked out at the infirmary. Just to make sure everything’s A-okay.”

Dean frowned and looked down at himself, his heart beginning to pound against his chest. “I…”

“Don’t worry,” Garth waved a hand. “It’s not scary. It’s just our way of eradicating any diseases that try to get in.”

Dean clenched his jaw and nodded once before stepping outside, back into the cold. He huffed, his breath coming out in a fog, and hugged his jacket around himself. With sagging shoulders, he trudged off to the cabin Donna had pointed out earlier.


	3. Chapter 3

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/141984597@N04/27397349317/in/dateposted-public/)

The cabin was long and once inside, he saw it housed several beds-all surrounded by privacy curtains- as well as equipment Dean had never seen and wasn’t even aware existed.

“You Dean?” A high pitched voice came from a back room, and a short African American woman with jeans, a tshirt, and a jacket emerged, motioning him to one of the beds. “Have a seat, honey. You look cold. I’ll grab ya a blanket.”

Dean moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and the woman returned a moment later with the blanket she’d promised, draping it around his shoulders. “How ya feelin’?”

Dean grabbed the edges of the blanket and pulled it around him, surprised by how thick it was. He immediately felt warmer and relaxed a bit. 

“Dunno...fine, I guess,” he muttered, then jumped when she suddenly pried his jaw open with a gloved hand. Dean was so stunned, he didn’t even manage a growl. Just sat there and blinked owlishly as she checked over his fangs before pulling away. 

“Did…” he swallowed, “did you just ask me that so I’d open my mouth?”

“Sure did,” she replied, giving him a warm smile. “Inscisors look good. Any trouble with them? Pain?” She indicated she wanted to check his neck, letting him bare it for her so she could check his lymph nodes. “Little swollen. Just have your heat?”

Dean blinked rapidly, feeling strangely calm despite having a virtual stranger poke and prod at him. 

“Uh, yeah…” he nodded and lowered his chin when she took her hands away. “Fangs...uh, only ache during heat. They always do.” He hugged the blanket tighter around him, suddenly wary that she might ask him to undress. Dean glanced around nervously. There was only two others in the infirmary, and both were sleeping behind curtains. He supposed if he had to undress for her this was the best scenario. 

“That’s not uncommon. Anything else about your heats concerning you?” She took out a stethoscope and put the ends in her ears, holding it up to Dean’s chest. “Any bleeding? Nausea?”

Dean shook his head quickly, ears burning slightly with embarrassment. He tried to remind himself she was a doctor...nurse...thingy, and that this was her job. She’s probably seen it all. 

“No,” he murmured, then frowned. “I...um, slick. A lot. And my fevers are getting worse. Cramps are always pretty bad.” Actually, he’s sure he has cramps from hell and that his uterus is trying to kill him, but whatever.

“Alright, sugar, at the risk of sounding indelicate, I’m gonna have to ask you to take those clothes off.” The woman took the stethoscope ends out of her ears and folded them over, leaning over from her chair to lay them on a table. Dean’s ears heated again but he gave the room a quick glance around before finally complying, slowly shrugging off the blanket and his jacket, then hesitantly pulling his shirt over his head. She kept talking as he started on his jeans. 

“You think you slick more than an ordinary amount?” she asked, continuing her line of questioning before letting him answer. “When did you notice the fevers getting worse?”

“I, uh…” Dean swallowed and stepped out of his jeans, feeling more exposed than he had in years. His skin prickled at the cool air, but he kept his arms at his sides. “The slick is...constant. It doesn’t stop.” He fingers twitched to grab the blanket and cover himself. It was silly, really. He was behind a curtain, and it was just him and...whatever her name was. 

“Fevers have always been bad ever since…” Dean grinded his teeth and shrugged. “They just...just get worse every time.”

“Hmmm,” she slid her chair over in front of him, gently moving his arms up out of her way and pressing her hands against his sides all the way down. She laid a hand flat on Dean’s back and used her other to prod lightly against different areas of his stomach. “Any of this tender at all? Painful?”

Dean winced and instinctively jerked away, but caught himself quickly. He forced himself to stand still and nodded tightly. “Yeah...a-a little.” He hissed when she pressed just below his belly button and sighed in relief when she pulled away. Dean chanced a glance down at himself and grimaced at the ribs poking out and the litter of scars that covered his skin. No wonder Alpha hadn’t reacted to his heat. He looked fucking awful.

She hesitated briefly before motioning for him to turn around, pressing her lips together. Dean felt her hands on his back when he turned, tracing down the faint scars he knew she could still see. Her hands traced them down to the curve of his spine and stopped, then he felt them again at his knees, tracing the ones halfway up the inside of his thighs. She stopped again long before they did, just as Dean squeezed his eyes shut and tensed his muscles.

“Where’d these come from, baby?”

Dean trembled and his breathing turned ragged. He squeezed his eyes so hard it hurt, but it kept the tears that were threatening to spill inside. “...I was small, and he was big,” Dean whispered brokenly, his voice rough with raw emotion. “And I...I wasn’t strong enough to fight him off.”

The woman sat back slowly and had him turn back around and sit on the bed. “Sugar, how long ago?”

She rested a hand on his knee, patting gently, her eyes sad. It had a motherly effect and Dean soaked it up. 

He shook his head and rubbed furiously at his watery eyes. “I-I don't...know exactly. Um,” he furrowed his brow and thought hard. He’d worked to block out the memories for so long it was difficult to dig them back up. “Maybe...a year….or less, after my first heat…” Dean pressed on his belly despite the tenderness. That night had been a nightmare, but it was nothing compared to the following weeks. 

“And you never saw a doctor afterward?” 

Dean shook his head, hand still resting on his stomach. 

She pressed her lips together and looked up and down his torso, using her hands to press against different areas again and watch for his reactions. “You havin’ complications from it at all?”

Dean bit down on his lip hard and looked away, drawing the blanket back over his shoulders. It offered little comfort. He had no desire to talk about it. It was the lowest of the low for Omegas. The reason his body was broken. 

“I…” he swallowed around the lump in his throat, voice scraping like sandpaper. “It...hurt for weeks after. Then I started bleeding...and it wouldn’t stop. It all hurt and when it finally stopped...so much blood,” he hung in his head, shoulders shaking. “I lost it...my pup. Iost it.” 

The woman clicked her tongue and stood, slowly wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging tightly to his body. Dean tensed but the proximity felt nice, something about this woman’s aura or whatever sending calming vibes throughout his body. 

She stepped back after a moment, sitting down and indicating to Dean to sit again too. “We’re almost done, okay?” She leaned forward and pulled the blanket back up and around Dean’s shoulders. “Now, are you currently sexually active?”

Dean burrowed under the blanket as much as he could and shook his head quickly. “No,” he croaked, hunching his shoulders. “Never.” He stared down at his lap, at the ragged scars disappearing into his inner thighs and bitterly thought that even if he wanted sex no Alpha would want this body. 

“How far apart are your heats generally?” she asked softly, trying to keep her face as neutral as possible.

Dean shrugged. “Once a month...sometimes. It’s…” he sighed, shifting on the bed. “Not always the same. Sometimes it’s only a couple of weeks apart.” 

“Okay,” she let out a big sigh through the word, standing again. “You can put your clothes back on, honey.” 

Dean hurriedly began to dress and she waited patiently until he was done. “Dean, would it be okay if I spent your next heat with you? To monitor you? I want to see if I can help you, or at the very least, I can keep you fed, the sheets changed, and the fever down. I want you to know that you can absolutely say no, but I really hope you don’t.” She clasped her hands in front of her.

Dean opened his mouth, closed it, then scrubbed his hand across his face. He couldn’t think of anything more embarrassing than having someone monitor him while he’s howling at the walls. 

But...he had to admit, if only to himself, that this last heat was bad. The fever alone nearly killed him. And this woman seemed kind enough, professional. Her gaze never lingered where it didn’t need to, and her hands had been gentle. At least with her around he didn’t have to fear for anything. 

“Okay,” he sighed, a hand resting on his hip. “That’s...fine.”

“Atta boy,” she said contentedly, giving him a pat on his back. “Well I'm Missouri, and if you need anything at all or just need to talk about anything, you can come to me anytime. Okay, baby?”

She looked expectant, so Dean nodded. 

“Good. And keep me updated on what's going on. If that heat starts earlier than it should, I wanna know about it. As soon as you feel it coming, you hear?”

“Yes ma'am.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, the hand on his back rubbing in circles. “Anything else you wanna tell me while you're here?”

“No...no,” Dean shook his head, hardly noticing that he was leaning into her touch. 

She eyed him carefully before finally nodded in satisfaction. She gave him one last pat on the back then pulled back the curtain.

“Alright, honey, now go onto the kitchen,” she said with a smile. “You’re way too skinny, sugar, so I’m going to make sure you get a little extra until we’ve got some meat on those bones.”

Dean blinked and managed a small grin at the thought of extra food. He trotted off the kitchen and hauled a big bowl of beef stew, a mini bread loaf, and a few pieces of sausage back to his cabin. He ate until his stomach hurt and he sighed and fell into his bed, feeling warm and full for the first time in...forever.  
\----  
It was late, very late. The sky outside his window was dark, but clear. Every star sparkling, not a single snow cloud in sight. Dean was on his bed, staring at the window blankly as he traced the familiar scars across his torso and hips. He couldn’t sleep. The poking Missouri had done, while informative, had drudged up memories. Dean knew if he fell asleep, he’d succumb to nightmares. 

A long, lone howl interrupted his thoughts. That was the third one tonight. A lonely wolf was prowling the forest, close enough to probably be in the camp’s territory. Nothing to fear, though. Not for Dean, anyway. He’d run into wolves before. His Omega smell offered no threat to them and most of the time they were even friendly.

Dean sighed and sat up, swinging his feet over his bed. He couldn’t lay there anymore. He pulled on some layers and his jacket, then stepped outside. He rubbed at his arms and glanced around as the mostly deserted camp. Everyone was tucked away and sleeping, cabins were dark and quiet, and only a few Betas were guarding the gate.

Dean took off in a random direction, ambling through the cabins, until he found himself at the base of the hill of Alpha’s cabin. With no one around, Dean allowed himself to breathe in the scent. The strong smell of a bonfire, smoke, spices, and that unidentifiable something that was purely Cas.

He took a step forward before he caught himself. Jesus, look at him, trying to visit Alpha in the middle of the fucking night like some needy Omega. 

Dean shook himself and stomped into the trees behind the cabin, not stopping until he was deep in the thick of it. Finally he stopped and sat at the base of a thick pine, leaning his head back against the trunk.

Another howl ripped through the air, very close this time, and Dean closed his eyes. “I feel ya, buddy,” he muttered, shivering slightly when the cold began to seep through his clothes.

He heard the crunching of snow nearby, but he kept his eyes closed. The sound stopped and he didn’t hear anything for awhile other than the whistle of wind through the trees, a twig snapping here and there, the occasional hoot of an owl. 

He finally opened them again, looking up through the tops of the trees. The moonlight shone down in slivers through the branches, and on the forest floor those same branches painted the snow with shadows. The crunching started again but stopped soon after, close enough that Dean was sure it must have been just out of his view. He stared straight ahead and sniffed, then wiped his cold nose on his sleeve. His warm breath came out in a large cloud and dissipated into the night air, and for a second Dean let his mind consider why it always felt so much colder when it wasn’t actively snowing. 

The sound resumed again very briefly, and Dean’s attention snapped back to the present. He stared into the woods ahead, thinking maybe if his eyes could adjust he could see at the very least shadows, but it was too dark and the reflection off the snow was too bright. 

Dean sighed and shifted, thinking he probably should have at least sat on a stump instead of the ground. The snow was freezing his ass off. He bent a leg, ready to push off the ground, then froze when he suddenly saw two pairs of eyes staring right at him. They were intensely blue and he was briefly reminded of his Alpha, right down to the scent coming off the wolf. An Alpha as well, then. 

Dean tilted his head and sat back down, a puff of air leaving his lips and fogging up the space in front of him. He sucked in a breath when the wolf stepped closer and...damn, that boy was big. His paws were easily the size of Dean’s fist. He’d never seen one so big.

He remained relaxed, though. His Omega scent was too sweet to cause any hostility anyway. 

“You the one makin’ all that noise?” Dean muttered, smirking slightly when the wolf regarded him with a tilted head. “Not complainin’. Howl all you want.”

The wolf stopped twenty or so feet away, sitting down on his haunches. He leaned forward marginally and inclined his head toward Dean, bobbing it slightly. It took Dean a moment to realize he was scenting him. It stopped and blew a puff of air out of its nose, then scooted forward a little and scented the air again. Finally it stood and took a few slow steps forward, scenting as he went. He stopped when he was about halfway to Dean and sat again, then slowly lowered its body to the ground, its front legs straight out in front of him. It lowered its head too, until it was almost touching the snow. 

Dean raised a brow in slight amusement and couldn’t help but feel he was being watched over. Well, it wasn’t too surprising. Alpha wolves treated their Omegas better than people did. He’d seen how wolf packs run and often wished he could shift like the legends said. He’d disappear with the wolves and never come back.

They sat in silence for a moment, watching each other, until Dean hummed to himself. “You’re a handsome one,” he murmured, scratching at his cheek. “Never seen one so dark.” True enough. This Alpha was almost all black, save for a few grays on his muzzle. His fur looked surprisingly soft, and thick, warm. “Big, too...you could snap me in two.”

The wolf blinked at him.

Dean smiled. “Surprised Alpha lets you roam around here...but I guess you’re not interested in Omegas like me. Not enough fur.” His smile faltered a moment. “Alpha isn’t interested in me anyway. Smell like Omega, but don’t look it.” 

The wolf lifted its head, shimmying forward more on his belly. He stilled when he was no more than a few feet from Dean, putting his head down again. Those blue eyes never left Dean, though, and he let out a small whine and inclined his head, then laid it on his paw.

The wind whipped through the trees and ruffled the fur on its back. It shifted slightly, the strong shoulder and leg muscles rolling under shiny fur, and Dean considers how easy it would be for the gigantic wolf to tear him apart. He wouldn’t even have a chance to move before he’d be dead, but somehow that knowledge doesn’t frighten him the way it probably should. The Alpha wasn’t giving off a volatile scent, and he didn’t seem interested in a fight.

“You’re much nicer company than most Alphas,” Dean muttered, watching the moonlight shine off the wolf’s fur. He rubbed almost absently at his stomach, at the scars just below his clothes. “...My Alpha isn’t too bad. Weird. Don’t really know ‘em. Keeps to himself.” 

He sighed and dropped his hand. “Not sure what I expected when I came here, but I guess...this is the best scenario, right? Just feel...a little out of place. Don’t know what he wants from me.” Dean barked a laugh and rubbed at head. “You couldn’t care less about any of this. Not even sure why I’m talking to you. Never talk this much.”

Dean finally moved, standing up and brushing the snow off his ass. “I should go back...before I freeze out here,” he snorted, rolling his shoulders. “Some of us don’t have have all that fur to keep warm.”

The wolf sat up and tilted its head again, but made no move forward. Dean chuckled and turned, starting to walk back the way he came. He heard crunching snow behind him and turned back, and the wolf stopped in its tracks. Its tail hung non-threateningly between its back legs, its front legs together. It looked at him expectantly, and Dean huffed a laugh and kept walking, knowing it was following closely behind.  


They reached the edge of the woods behind Alpha’s cabin and Dean emerged into the open but kept close to the tree line. A lone candle flickered in the window of Alpha’s cabin, but Dean couldn’t see or sense any movement inside. Perhaps he was sleeping. Likely he was sleeping. Most in the camp were.

Dean looked back to find the wolf at the edge of the trees, stopped halfway in the light of the moon, half in the dark, just watching him. Dean stared at the wolf for a moment, a little sad to leave him. He’d kept Dean company. Silent company, but still. It was the most comfortable Dean had been with anyone since he got here. 

“Thank you,” Dean said softly, bowing his head before turning and trotting down the hill. When he reached the bottom, he turned, but the wolf was gone.  
\----  
Dean managed a few hours of sleep that night, and he woke surprisingly refreshed. He could hear people milling about outside, so it must be decently late. The sun shone brightly off the snow out of his window, and he threw the covers off and slid off the bed, immediately throwing on a dry pair of pants and a flannel over his t-shirt. He didn’t have much when he came, but the few outfits he had badly needing patching and cleaning. He’d need to ask someone where to go to wash clothes around here.

His stomach grumbled, and he resolved to ask after he’d grabbed breakfast. He quickly tied his boots and threw on a jacket, stepping out into the cold air. Donna was down the way at her cabin, standing outside of the porch and zipping a small pup’s jacket. A slender woman with short dark hair emerged from her cabin with an amateurly-knitted scarf just as Donna looked up and waved. Dean waved back and the dark-haired woman waved too, and Dean blushed as he looked away. There were several others outside that Dean didn’t recognize, so he kept his head down and made his way to the kitchen.

Missouri made good on her promise again. Dean left with an extra helping of bacon and eggs, and munched on the meat as he crunched through the snow. 

“Hiya, Dean!” 

Dean blinked at Donna as he came back to his cabin, and managed a shy smile. She gestured for him to come over so he stepped onto her porch. 

“Finding your way around?” She asked brightly. 

Dean nodded, nibbling on his bacon as he side eyed the other woman. 

“Oh, sorry!” Donna laughed and laid a hand on the woman’s arm. “This is my mate, Jody. Jody, this is Dean.” 

“Hi there,” Jody dipped her head, and Dean gave her a small smile in return. “Donna told me she showed you around a bit yesterday, but if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to come ask. I'm usually here all day watching pups, even when Donna is out helping to police the perimeter.”  


Donna nodded with a wide smile. “Oh! I'm sorry, Dean, can I getcha anything? Some coffee, or…?”

Dean shook his head, not wanting to be a bother. Besides, he was already getting extra food. He didn’t want to take theirs. 

“You liking it here so far?” Jody asked. 

Dean shrugged with a small nod. Jody smiled kindly. 

“Man of few words,” she chuckled. “That’s alright. Donna here can talk enough for the both of us.” 

Dean smiled when Donna lightly slapped Jody on the arm. “Don’t go giving him the wrong impression,” Donna said playfully. “I’m not that bad.” 

Dean looked over at his cabin quickly and Donna nodded. 

“Right, well you go on and get some rest. We'll be right here if you need anything.” She touched his arm again and he nodded, giving them both another smile as he walked back to his cabin. 

Pups were running around between cabins playing some kind of game of tag, but none really paid much attention to him. It's one thing Dean always really appreciated about pups: their instincts aren't fully developed and so there's nothing about an unknown full grown adult that particularly interests them. They leave him alone, and he doesn't have to pretend, doesn't have to fake anything. 

“You have holes in your pants.”

The small voice startled him, and he almost dropped what was left of his food. He whipped around to find a young pup loitering at the far edge of his cabin, around the back. Her long wavy red hair reflected the sunlight and she had freckles sprinkled across her face. She wore baggy green pants and a pink shirt, a blue jacket zipped halfway, and rubber winter boots that looked a size too big. She tilted her head and tugged at the bottom of her jacket. 

“My LiLi could fix them for you,” she continued, taking a step forward. “She fixes all my stuff for me.”

Dean swallowed the last of his eggs, his eyes darting around nervously. This pup was by herself, with no Omega in sight. Maybe she thought Dean could be her Omega for the day. Which was so not happening. He hoped this wasn’t Castiel’s idea, because Dean was by no means ready to start looking after pups. 

“Uh…”he said smartly, crunching on the last of his bacon and wiping his greasy hands on said holy jeans. “I don’t...know…”

“There you are!” 

Dean jumped and whipped around, ready to defend himself in case someone had the wrong idea. But the annoyed looking redhead was hardly sparing him a glance as she charged past him and up to the pup. 

“You gotta stop running off like that,” she sighed. “Alpha would have a fit if I lost you-“ 

“Not gonna get lost,” the pup groaned, kicking at snow. 

Dean started slowly backing away, intent on retreating inside his cabin, but the red-headed Omega turned and he froze. 

“She came up to me,” Dean said defensively. 

The Omega smiled and laughed. “Yeah, she’s not shy.” She stuck out her hand. “I’m Charlie.” 

Dean blinked down at her hand and again wondered what the hell he was supposed to do with it.

“You just...shake it. Like-” she started to show him but stopped, waving her hand dismissively. “Nevermind. You must be Dean.”

Dean raised his eyebrows at her.

“Sorry, just...everyone here talks.”

The little girl walked past, looking up curiously at him. She narrowed her eyes- which Dean could see now were a beautiful shade of blue- and kept going without a word, disappearing around the corner of the front of the house. 

Charlie sighed and put her hands on her hips. “That’s Aurora. Sorry she was sneaking around in your backyard. It feels like a full time job sometimes, watching her.”

Dean nodded stiffly.

“Anyway. I’m sure I’ll see you around the compound. Don’t wanna keep you out here in the cold. Nice meeting you, Dean.”

She bowed a little as she walked by and back out between the cabins. Dean stepped up on his own porch and looked each way, watching all the people walking around and talking to each other, people working and still others occasionally getting after one of the pups. Dean was about to turn to go inside when he saw Alpha retreating down his hill at the end of the cabins, and he stopped to watch him. 

He descended slowly with his hands in his pockets, and it wasn’t until he was almost at the bottom of the hill that people began to notice him, and several of them waved. He waved back, and it only took a few seconds after that for the pups to recognize him. Many of them squealed excitedly and dropped whatever they were playing with, running up to him. Dean could see his wide smile from his porch as they approached him, and he knelt down on one knee just as one launched themselves into his arms. He wrapped his arms around them as they wrapped theirs around his neck, and a couple of others piled on top. 

He heard little choruses of “Papa!” as the pups flocked to him, and it seemed like he was working to get around to each of them, giving them hugs and showing interest in some of their belongings that they seemed excited to show him. He saw Charlie walk up to him with Aurora, and he stood and hugged them both as well, then patted the young girl on her head when she clung to his thigh. 

Dean’s eyes lingered on the three, how the girl seemed to cling just a little longer to Castiel’s leg than the rest, how her blue eyes were almost the exact shade as Alpha’s, her red hair shining under the sun just like Charlie’s…. 

And Dean realized, suddenly, why Castiel didn’t touch the other Omegas. Why he hardly reacted to Dean’s scent. And why none of these other pups were his. He already had his family.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean rubbed at his chest, breathing through the confusing sting of rejection and loneliness the realization brought him. It was stupid. So stupid. He had no reason to feel like this, and yet here he was, pining for something he shouldn’t have wanted in the first place. He hardly knew this Alpha, and had never wanted an Alpha before, but...deep down, Dean knew he’d secretly dream of finding a _good_ one. Castiel was a good one. 

He huffed and stepped inside his cabin, shutting it firmly and locking it. He didn’t want visitors and Benny had a tendency to walk in unannounced. 

Dean crawled into bed and squeezed his eyes shut, cursing his stupid Omega emotions and the pain that came with them. 

There was a knock at the door soon anyway, and Dean groaned when he was forced out of bed to get it. It wasn't until he reached the door that he recognized the scent of Alpha, and he swung it open a little quicker than necessary. 

Castiel gave him a solemn smile, his hands by his sides. 

“Hello, Dean. How are you today?”

Dean blinked and glanced behind Castiel, but Charlie and Aurora were nowhere in sight. He swallowed and nodded, then remembered he needed _words_. 

“Fine. Good. I’m...good,” he said, licking his lips and looking down awkwardly. The last time he saw Castiel was in the middle of his heat, covered in slick and sweat. He vividly remembered how his body had reacted and shuddered. 

Out of politeness more than anything else, Dean stepped aside and let Castiel inside. The door closed softly and he was alone with the Alpha for the first time since he came here. 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Castiel said softly, and he sat down on one of the chairs at his small table. “Garth said you came to him yesterday, and I spoke with Missouri this morning. I’m glad you’re taking advantage of the different kinds of help we have to offer here.” 

Dean froze in his spot and looked at Castiel curiously.

Castiel looked up at him and raised his eyebrows. “Oh. _Oh_. Don’t worry, Dean. They don’t tell me any of your business. That’s all between you and them. I’m just glad you’re seeking the help. That’s all.”

Dean relaxed some, though why it mattered was a mystery. Well, he supposed he didn’t want everyone to know his business. He didn’t want _anyone_ to know his business, but Castiel especially. Some stupid part of his brain had thought to keep it secret and then maybe the Alpha wouldn’t see him as a damaged Omega. None of it mattered now, and it truly never did to begin with. 

Dean huffed at his own circling thoughts and sat down on his bed, picking at the hole in his jeans. 

“They were nice,” he muttered quietly, feeling he needed to say something. He had liked Missouri well enough. She was warm and soft like the mother he never really had. Garth grated on him, but he was nice, too. 

“Yes, they are,” Castiel said, clasping his hands together on the table and looking over at Dean. “I’m very lucky to have them here. They help a lot of people. I hope you’ll continue to see them regularly.”

Dean shifted, his skin prickling under Alpha’s gaze, and he rubbed at the back of his neck to smooth down the goosebumps. 

He looked up and locked gazes with Castiel, which was stupid, but Dean was stubborn. Maybe he couldn’t control certain physical reactions to the Alpha, but he refused to act like some simpering Omega around him. No matter how nervous he made Dean feel. 

“I apologize for not being around for much of your heat. I try to keep a close eye on all the Omegas during their heats, especially the new ones.” Castiel swallowed and looked out the window for a long moment, then back to Dean. “How are you adjusting so far? Do you have any questions?”

Dean lowered his gaze, unable to keep it for long, and shrugged a shoulder. “It’s...a lot,” he said carefully, furrowing his brows. “Never been around a pack before. I don’t…” he side-eyed Castiel, tongue resting between his teeth, “I don’t know what you’re...wanting from me. What I’m supposed to do.” 

Castiel blinked and frowned, turning in his chair to face Dean, one arm thrown over the back of the chair. “Dean, I don't _expect_ anything from you. You came here for protection, yes? That's what you'll have. Eventually, you can work… should you feel comfortable. Everyone helps everyone around here. You'll get used to it.”

Dean frowned at the floor, tugging at his shirt absently and pulling a loose thread free. Gaining protection, shelter, food...all for nothing. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

He breathed deep, then had to bite back an abrupt moan when the Alpha’s scent clouded his senses. _No one_ should smell that good. Damn it, and now his cabin was going to smell like Alpha all day. 

“I can work,” he said roughly, shaking off the growing arousal his body insisted on having whenever that damn scent was nearby. “Just tell me what to do.” 

“I'll talk to Benny, see if he has a need anywhere,” Castiel said, abruptly standing and pushing in his chair. “In the meantime… just try to relax and work on adjusting. I want you to feel at home here.”

He took a deep breath and walked over, making sure he had Dean’s attention before bringing a hand up to his neck and resting it there.   
“You _can_ relax, Omega. You're safe now. We protect our own here.”

Dean swallowed audibly, the skin on his neck heating up pleasantly, his eyes dilating, his scent thickening-all happening in the few seconds Castiel’s hand was against his skin. That graveling voice washed over him, the word Omega sending shivers down his spine, and that strong, dominating smell permeated the air. 

Something clicked in Dean’s mind, his Omega instincts-which he worked hard to beat down-reared up. He whined low in his throat and he leaned into the touch, both exhilarated and terrified by his reaction. Castiel was an Alpha, the very thing he’s feared all his life, and yet his body was humming at just a simple touch.

Castiel's nostrils flared and he licked his lips quickly, then pressed them together. He kept his hand there for another beat before tapping him gently and squeezing his shoulder. He pulled away and his gaze fell last, when he looked to the door and made a few stiff steps in that direction.

“Try and get some sleep tonight, Dean,” Castiel said finally, turning back to him again. He rolled his shoulders back and cleared his throat. “You've been through an especially rough few days. Don't push yourself right now.”

Dean nodded dumbly and blinked when Castiel gave him a curt nod before leaving quickly. As soon as the door shut, Dean gasped out a breath and then another. With Castiel gone, his scent wasn’t as potent, but it was still heavy in the air. He chuffed and shook his head, his nose tickling.   
He stood and pulled off his jacket, then his shirt. It was too hot, his skin starting to gleam with a light layer of sweat. Damn it, this was ridiculous! He couldn’t break out in sweat and slick every time Alpha showed up. 

Dean groaned and cracked opened his window, letting the cool air in and the Alpha scent out. He sat at the window, breathing in the crisp scent of snow, and watched pack members mill about. Donna and Jody were walking hand in hand, a few pups trailing after them while throwing snowballs at each other. 

Castiel came into view and Dean’s eyes zeroed in, watching the Alpha walk off towards the kitchen. Dean sighed when he lost sight of him, then rolled his eyes at himself. 

“Don’t even know him,” he muttered darkly at himself. “Stupid, lovesick puppy.” He shifted and looked down at his naked torso. He ran his hands over his ribs, his too flat of a stomach, and down the splattering of scars that disappeared lower. 

He thought about the other Omegas he’s met and sighed, closing his eyes. He must look like a rag doll next to them. Especially that Charlie. She was beautiful and had given Castiel a healthy pup. 

Dean growled and pressed his forehead against the wall. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” he huffed. “You are what you are.”

He pushed off the wall and closed the window, then the curtains. Alpha’s smell was still too strong, though. Dean slipped his clothes back on and stepped outside, determined to find something to do and be useful.

He took off the opposite direction of Alpha’s cabin intentionally, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he trudged through the snow. About half of the cabins looked empty and the other half had people outside stocking firewood or playing with pups. He walked by a cabin with a young brunette Omega sitting on the porch with what had to have been a newborn pup bundled to her chest, a knit stocking cap on its head. She looked over and smiled at Dean as he passed, and he dropped his gaze to his feet. 

“Hey there, chief.”

Dean recognized Benny’s voice before he actually saw him ambling toward him with a bucket and a couple of handmade fishing rods. 

“Got anythin’ goin’ on right now, brother? I had me a fishing buddy but they bailed. Just trying to restock some of our provisions.”

Dean licked his lips, foggy breath coming out in huffs. He hesitated only for a moment before nodding.

Benny smiled and passed Dean a fishing rod. Dean eyed it curiously as he followed Benny to the river, a comfortable silence between the two.

The Beta took a few minutes to show Dean how to use the rod and was pleased to see that Dean caught on quickly. They found a good spot and sat on a long ago fallen tree after brushing off some snow. Dean watched Benny cast his line then did the same, only messing it up the first time.

Lines in the water and a bucket ready for anything they catch, Dean settled into his usual silence as he watched the water gurgle over rocks. Benny let him stay that way, for the most part, aside from the occasional question to spark a bit of conversation when the silence seemed to get to be too much.

“Alpha tells me you’re wantin’ to do something ‘round here...to help. What is it that you wantin’ to do?”

Dean glanced at Benny, a leg bouncing up and down. “...Whatever needs doing,” he grunted with a shrug. “Good with my hands. I...lived on my own for a long time. Used to having something to do everyday.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll bet,” Benny scratched at his chin. “Well, we gotta lot of call for general labor ‘round here. Something’s always needin’ fixin’, there’s wood needin’ to be chopped, cabins built, huntin’ to do, fishin’,” he gestured in front of them. “I can give you general work as it arises. Ask the people to come to you when they need some help.”

Dean nodded and rolled his shoulders. “Good,” he said, tapping his heel against the large trunk that was serving as their chair. Being a large Omega offered some advantages. He was stronger, could even fight off most Alphas. Well, nowadays he could. Not so much when he was younger. But being as big and as strong as he was meant he could labor with the Betas instead of pup sitting with the other Omegas.

“How old were ya when ya left home?” Benny asked out of the blue, eyes trained on his fishing pole. He asked casually, like the answer didn’t make a difference to him one way or another, except Dean knew that it did. Things always seemed to matter to Benny, more than he let on.

Dean stared hard at the water for a long while, running his tongue along his fangs. “I don’t remember having a home,” he finally said slowly, as if he had to think about each word, which was almost true. “I must’ve...but…” he shrugged and blinked when his rod gave a jolt, but then it fell still again. “I presented young, I think. Dad was Alpha and didn’t want an Omega son. I woke up one day, and him and mom were gone. That was it. Was on my own from then on.” Dean paused and thought hard. “Was just a kid. Don’t know how old I was...don’t really know how old I am now.”

“I’m sorry, man,” Benny said, and silence fell between them again with nothing but the sound of the water. He looked over at Dean after a long time, giving him a once-over. “You’re big for an Omega. That’s good. I’m sure that’s helped in the past.” He coughed and scrubbed his palm on his jeans. “Been on my own for awhile now, too. Never knew my own dad, was a...some random Alpha. Ma had me on her own, killed by another Alpha when I was around eight years old.” He shrugged and clicked his tongue. “Yeah. Findin’ this place...well, it was too good to be true, ya know? And I still find myself thinkin’ that every day, and I been here for years now. I was wary at first too, and I get that fear, but it does ease up eventually. If that helps to settle your nerves about us any.”

Dean looked over at Benny and took in the sight of the Beta for the first time. Of course he knew everyone at this camp had a story, came here to escape from a past they’d rather never think about again. And Dean, whether out of selfishness or the inability to drag himself out of his own head, hadn’t stopped to even wonder about what Benny might have been through. What drove the Beta to find this place.

“I’m sorry,” he said genuinely, watching Benny closely. “About your mom. But I’m…” He huffed and rubbed at his neck, cheeks flushing slightly. “I’m glad you’re here. And...helping me.”

God, he was shit at this.

Dean snorted at himself and glared at the water, just daring a fish to pop up. 

The conversation lulled again for awhile, and there was nothing more than some mindless chatter the rest of the afternoon. They only ended up catching five fish, Dean’s two to Benny’s three, although he considered it a win since it was his first time. They trudged back to the camp with the bucket full of their catches, and Benny passed them off to someone from the kitchen to prepare. 

“Thanks for the help, cher,” Benny said as he clapped Dean on the back. “I'll see what work I can scrounge up for ya. I'll be in touch.” He waved and took off back up the hill in the direction of Alpha’s cabin. 

Dean watched him go, tugging at the edge of his jacket and trying to push away the odd feeling of envy he suddenly had. Benny seemed so comfortable around everybody, especially Alpha. Dean wanted to know what that felt like, to be _comfortable_. He couldn’t even imagine. 

Dean liked Benny well enough, though. And Donna. Maybe, with time, he can at least be comfortable with them. 

So lost in his thoughts, it took Dean a moment to realize he was being observed. He blinked up at the hill, finding both Benny and the Alpha looking down at him, and almost jumped out of his skin. 

Flushing with embarrassment, Dean stuffed his hands in his pockets and hastily took off in the very opposite direction of Alpha’s cabin.   
The next time Dean looked up the hill, neither Alpha or Benny were in sight, but he still felt like he was being watched. He pulled his jacket tightly around him and vaguely wondered if the kitchen currently had food or if he had to wait for the fish that Benny would bring him. 

He turned and disappeared between two seemingly empty cabins, only relaxing once he was behind them and out of sight of any people. He walked slowly along the tree line back up toward his own cabin, kicking snow as he went. One Beta was outside beating dust out of a rug, his Omega talking to him and wrapping her arms protectively around the pup strapped to her chest. She took a cautious step backward when Dean passed, the first person that seemed to show any kind of wariness toward him since he got to the compound, and it made Dean feel a little guilty. He also understood her fears; he'd been surprised so many had been so welcoming with him. She was rightfully and understandably cautious. It probably made her a better mother. 

Dean tried to focus on making his scent neutral on non-threatening, which must have worked because the Beta didn't spare him so much as a glance, let alone a growl. 

“You'd really be a lot less cold if you let LiLi patch those for you,” the small voice came from seemingly nowhere at first, but Dean quickly found her just up ahead leaning against one of the trees, her wild red hair thrown up on top of her head with curls framing her small face.

“There's wolves in there,” Dean mumbled as he passed, but she just skipped along beside him.

“Papa will protect me,” she said confidently as she swung herself on a low branch. “Wolves don't scare me.”

“They should,” Dean said, watching her hop along some tree stumps. “We share kindred with them, but we’re still people. They’ll hurt you if you aren’t careful.” 

“Papa will protect me,” she repeated, hopping down beside him. 

Dean rolled his eyes and walked faster, but she kept up, moving her little legs against the snow. 

“Why aren’t you with your mom?” Dean grumbled. 

Aurora looked at him curiously. “My mom?”

“Charlie.” 

“I snuck away again.” She smiled proudly. 

“Why?” 

“You’re more interesting.” 

Dean faltered in his steps, almost falling, making her collapse into giggles. He huffed and walked even faster, but she ran to keep up. 

“I bet you have cool stories to tell,” she continued, hopping through the snow. “I like stories. Sometimes LiLi tells me stories, and sometimes Papa, and sometimes I tell stories to them. I like making up stories.”

Dean said nothing, so she kept talking. 

“My friends call me Rory. I want you to be able to call me that too but you can't cause Papa says I can't make friends with strangers. And he told me not to bug you, cause I have a ‘tendency to come on too strong’, whatever that means. But I don't wanna be strangers anymore.” She ducked her head under a branch and looked up at him curiously. “Are you gonna stay here, sir?”

_Sir_?

Dean looked down at her and thought the opinion that she came on too strong was an understatement. This pup was a whirlwind and he could barely keep up with her. 

“I don’t...I don’t know,” Dean said honestly, stopping in his tracks. She plowed into his leg and he snorted as she fell into the snow, blinking owlishly. “See, that’s what happens when you don’t pay attention.” 

She made a face at him and righted herself, brushing off snow from her clothes. “Well who just _stops_ like that-”

“Strangers.” 

He smirked and started walking again, not even bothering to check behind him because he could hear the rapid crunching of snow as she fought to catch up. 

“Aurora was the Roman goddess of sunrise, whose tears turned into the morning dew,” Aurora came bouncing up behind him, already off on another tangent. “This is a true story,” she tacked on, pointing a little finger at him. “Papa says that my name also means ‘dawn’, so he gave me that name because dawn symbolizes the beginning of a new day. He says I was a ‘new beginning’.”

She skipped ahead, stopping and lifting a foot up to kick the snow off a stump, then jumping on top of it and turning back to look at Dean. “What’s ‘Dean’ mean?”

Dean sighed and came to a stop by the stump. There was no getting rid of this girl. “It...it just means _me_ ,” he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. “I’m Dean. Dean is me. Nothing special.” 

She didn’t say anything, and Dean kept walking, her following silently behind. When she finally did speak, her voice was much softer, though no less confident.

“Well, I like it.”

Dean huffed and pretended not to hear, the backs of his ears reddening a little. 

“Well Papa usually likes me to call people ‘ma’am’ and ‘sir’ but if you let me call you Dean instead, I’ll let you call me Rory.”

“Fine,” Dean agreed quickly, if only to get rid of her. “Dean and Rory. Awesome.” He pointedly started to walk towards his cabin, hoping she’d get the picture. He sighed when he heard her little feet crunching away and resigned himself to his afternoon fate of pup sitting.

“Why,” he growled out as they passed other cabins and started getting curious looks, “are you still following me?” 

“You talk to me like I'm a person,” she said, barely looking at him. “And cause Papa told me to leave you alone, but LiLi says that curiosity is a sign of a healthy mind and it's usually more fun to listen to LiLi.”

She hopped up on another stump and promptly jumped down to fall in behind him, and he wondered vaguely if he'd ever had that kind of energy. But then, Aurora was almost certainly born on this compound and had likely been healthy and happy her entire life. Surely that makes a difference in strength and stamina. 

She finally caught up and eyed him warily taking several steps to Dean’s one to keep up but insistent on looking at him. 

“You don't like pups, do you? I can tell, when people don't. Cause they don't wanna hear my stories.”

Dean slowed considerably until he finally came to a stop. Rory almost ran into him again, but just barely caught herself in time. He frowned and looked down at her, her blue eyes blinking up at him through the brightness of the sun. 

“It’s not that I don’t like pups,” he said quietly, looking down at his feet. He shifted and hugged his jacket around himself. “I just...it’s hard to be...around them, is all.” Dean didn’t elaborate and started walking again, his cabin in sight.

Rory ran ahead of him and turned, walking backward in front of him, causing him to slow considerably at her bumbling pace. 

“Are you gonna sneak out late again tonight like you did last night?”

This time Dean _did_ stumble and had to hurriedly catch himself before he planted face first in the snow. “I, um, what?” he stuttered stupidly, blinking down at her.

“Last night,” she repeated. “You went into the forest and-”

“Okay, just,” he waved his hand and looked around guiltily, but no one seemed to be paying attention. Dean clicked his tongue and knelt down to her level, giving her a hard look. “How did you know about that? What are you doing out in the forest at night anyway?”

“I wasn’t,” she said defensively, her eyes a little wide. “But Papa was awake late, and he’s only awake when others are awake. He’s awake more when new people come.” She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him. “Were you thinking about leaving?”

“No...not really,” Dean answered, unsure of that himself. He hadn’t consciously thought of leaving, but pack life was harder for him than he thought. “I just, um...couldn’t sleep. When I can’t sleep, I like to walk. I didn’t want to bother anyone, so I went into the forest.” He paused and smiled a bit. “Wolves don’t scare me either.”

She beamed up at him and moved to the side, and they resumed their pace again, Dean walking a little slower so she didn't have to try so hard to keep up. 

“I think I know what you mean, about it being hard to be around certain people. It's because of how they smell, right? Papa says sometimes it's hard for him to be around certain people, because they smell familiar. But I don't really know, because I don't get scents yet. I don't even know how I smell.”

Dean nodded as he stepped up onto his porch and fell into one of the chairs. Aurora climbed up on one as well, her legs swinging back and forth. Yep, he was definitely stuck with her.

“Scents are complicated,” he said, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Don’t need to know anything about it yet. You’re young.” He opened his eyes and blinked at a few sets of eyes on them, but no one stopped to talk. Dean supposed he’d have to deal with it. She was the Alpha’s pup and he was a virtual stranger. It was right for them to be wary of her keeping him company. 

“Yeah, I guess.” She laid her head back against the chair and sunk into the seat. She crossed one ankle over the other and clasped her hands over her little belly. “Did you catch any fish with Uncle Benny? He used to take me fishin’ with him a lot, but sometimes he says no cause _apparently_ I scare away all the fish runnin’ my mouth.”

Dean snorted. “Believe that,” he mumbled to himself. The girl talk enough for the both of them and then some. “Caught two,” he said a bit proudly, a smile tugging on his lips. “Benny’s right. Gotta be quiet.”

“But you don’t find out interesting things about people if you don’t _talk_ ,” she insisted, and Dean had to agree. It’s why most people didn’t know anything about him, and it’s why he didn’t form bonds with anyone. 

He didn’t reply, but he could see Aurora watching him from the corner of his eye.

“You have nice eyes,” she said finally, putting her arms up on the armrests of her chair. She smiled then, the small gap between her top teeth making Dean smile back before he could stop himself.

“Um, thank you,” he said, feeling completely awkward and lost on how to act around this girl. “You, too. Eyes. They’re nice.” Like Alpha’s. Her eyes are actually the only things she seemed to share with Castiel. Although...besides the red hair, she didn’t look much like Charlie either.   
But what did he know. He hasn’t gotten a good look, what with the attempts to avoid and all that.

“Won’t you get in trouble?” Dean asked, raising a brow. “For running off?”

“Nah,” she said with a shrug, kicking her feet. “Well, maybe. I don’t know.” She thumped her feet against the bottom of the chair as she looked around, scanning the nearby cabins and people. Finally she huffed and scooted herself off the chair, standing and facing Dean and tilting her head at him again. “You have eyes like Mama.”

Dean raised a brow and tried to remember what color Charlie’s eyes were, but his memory failed him. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” She scuffed her boot against the wood of the porch, then turned and hopped down the first step before stopping again. “Papa believes that eyes are the windows to the soul. He says that when you look someone in the eyes, you’re giving them permission to know the real you.” She hopped down the last step and planted her feet firmly in the snow, looking back up at him again. “But you don’t do that. You don’t _want_ anyone to know the real you.”

Dean frowned and squirmed under her penetrating stare. She definitely got that from her dad. Alpha’s stare always made him feel naked. And she was very... _insightful_ for a pup. Smart. Too smart.

“Why would I want that?” he asked a bit defensively. “Just makes me vulnerable. And…” he trailed off. She wouldn’t understand why no one would want a broken Omega. She wouldn’t even understand _why_ he was broken, because for one he was in no way talking about that to a little girl. For another, she was too young to understand the real differences between the dynamics anyway. Or the importance of an Omega’s role and particularly his inability to fulfill that role.

“Well, I think you’re interesting,” Aurora said confidently, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. She looked around and her eyes widened a little when she spotted Charlie across the compound, talking to one of the other Omegas, no doubt looking for the mischievous pup. “Uh oh. Gotta go!”

She took off and ducked behind Dean’s cabin, and he turned to watch her run to his backyard and cut right, heading up Charlie’s direction behind the cabins. A moment later he saw her reappear at the cabin behind Charlie, and she ran around behind her and threw her arms around the top of her legs. Charlie’s hand reached around and laid on the top of Aurora’s head as she stumbled forward slightly, and Dean could tell by her expression that she was making some sort of exclamation, but he was too far away to hear what she was saying. 

Dean relaxed back into the chair and sighed heavily, rubbing at his eyes then scrubbing his hand down his face. Weird pup. Then again, she was Castiel’s, and he was pretty weird too. 

He tensed slightly at the thought of the Alpha. He wondered if there was a reason he didn’t want want his pup hanging around Dean. Say Rory tells Castiel she spent some time with him...maybe Alpha gets upset. So upset he kicks Dean out. Maybe he doesn’t want his pup talking to a broken Omega.

Dean huffed and rubbed at his neck. He was being stupid. Castiel wasn’t like that, he was sure of it. At least, he really hoped he wasn’t like that.  
He stood and stretched before retreating into his cabin, the quota for his daily interactions with people more than filled for the day.

\----

The next week passed much the same way, and Benny made true on his word to find Dean work, so he’d been decently busy doing odd jobs around the compound. He’d met plenty of new people, and most did him the courtesy of speaking to him the bare minimum. Not for lack of friendliness, but they just seemed to pick up on his unwillingness to talk more than young Aurora had. 

He did speak with Garth a few more times, but they didn’t talk about much more than they had on their first visit. Garth seemed fine with that. He said no one ever got what they were looking for by forcing it. So he was willing to wait. 

Dean didn’t tell him he’d likely be waiting a very long time.

He hadn’t been back out in the forest since that night, but he did wake up each morning to find fresh paw prints in the snow around his cabin. They came from behind the cabin and disappeared the same way, and he never saw them around anyone else’s. Perhaps his friend was wondering if he was okay. Dean kind of liked that idea.

He’d seen Alpha in passing over the last few days, but Castiel didn’t push him to speak either outside of friendly chatter. He saw Aurora with him once, and she didn’t speak to him then, only looked up at him with her big blue eyes and smiled.

Currently he was scarfing down a fast breakfast, still bewildered that he actually gets to eat three meals a day, every day. He was seeing Missouri again this morning. She wanted to see how he was doing, check his weight, and whatever else she wanted to poke at. He didn’t exactly relish the idea of going back, but Missouri was comfortable to be around. And she was the only one who knew the extent of the damage.

He waved to Donna and Jody on his way to the infirmary, finishing off his toast and sidestepping some pups playing tag. Dean wiped the crumbs on his jeans (newly patched up thanks to ‘LiLi’) and stepped into the long cabin. They were a bit busier today, with two pups who seemed to have a cold and a Beta whose arm was being fixed into a sling.

“Hey, honey,” Missouri called out, waving him over to a bed. “Come on over and get comfy. It’ll be a minute.”

Dean walked over and sat on the bed, immediately pulling the curtain around it. Missouri clicked her tongue at him. “Give a sec, sugar, okay?” 

Dean nodded and watched her walk off, leaning back on his hands. He looked around his little curtained off corner, eyes lingering on the window and the sky outside. It would snow tonight. He wondered if it would be too heavy to go exploring in the woods again, maybe even see his wolf.

“Alright, baby, come on over here and jump up on this scale for me.” Missouri was speaking before Dean even saw her, throwing back the curtain. “How's your appetite been? You're looking like you're filling out a bit. Still some room for improvement.”

“I've been hungry, if that's what you're askin’,” Dean mumbled, moving from the bed to the scale and stepping up on it. 

Missouri hummed to herself as she calculated his weight on the manual scale, throwing all the weights back over to the side when she had it balanced correctly.

“171,” she said finally with a smile and nod. “Much better. Finally gettin’ some meat on those bones.”

Dean smiled shyly and though it may be silly to feel accomplished for gaining some weight, he just didn’t care. It was a win and he was taking it.

“Do...do I still get to eat extra?” he asked apprehensively.

Missouri chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. “Yeah, baby, you get extra for a little while. Until I don’t see those ribs anymore.”

Dean grinned as she motioned for him to sat back down on the bed. 

“I seen you out and about working a lot this week. Havin’ any unusual aches or pains?” She pressed her fingers to his neck just below his jawline and prodded, moving down a little and repeating the motion all the way down his neck. “Any leftover issues from your heat?”

“No more than usual,” Dean shrugged, wincing slightly when she pressed against his lower abdomen. “Have trouble sleeping, too. But that’s normal...never get much sleep.”

“That still hurt?” she asked, pressing on him again. Dean bit his lip and nodded, and she clicked her tongue. “Is that ‘normal’, too?” she sighed, raising a brow, her tone making it clear what she thought of his ‘normal’. 

Dean frowned and shrugged again, nodding with some hesitation. “Always tender...ever since…” He waved his hand, unwilling to say it and knowing Missouri knew what he was talking about anyway.

“How far along were you? D’ya know?” Missouri laid a hand on his knee, her voice soft. Dean wished he knew why it so much easier to talk to Missouri. She radiated a sense of home like he never remembered feeling from anyone before, but then, all memories of his mom were too old to make him feel anything anymore. 

He swallowed and looked down at her hand, his own resting just a few inches from it and picking at the fabric of his jeans. “A...a month, maybe,” he murmured, brows furrowing. “I don’t know for sure. I didn’t really know I was, um, p-pregnant until the pain started.” He looked up at her and took a deep breath, setting his jaw. “I’m barren, aren’t I? I know I am...that’s why my heats are messed up.”

“Now, baby, I got no reason to believe that lookin’ at you. You're a young, healthy Omega, if still a little underfed.” Missouri clasped her hands in her lap, heaving a sigh. “But I am concerned for the lack of aftercare. Usually, that far along, the products of conception are cleared out naturally in the following heat. But sometimes some of those can remain and adhere to the uterine wall, which can cause a few problems. It would also explain why your heats are so bad… Or at least, part of it.”

She reached out and took Dean's hand, laying them together on his lap. “There's an antibiotic, if I can get my hands on some, that can help your body clear it out. But don't you go thinkin’ for one minute those nasty thoughts, baby. I'm gonna take care of you.”

Dean huffed roughly, feeling a burning behind his eyes and he’s not sure what he’s even wanting to cry about. Missouri’s motherly concern and gentle voice, or the knowledge that _something_ of the pup he never knew was still in there. 

“Antibiotic,” he repeated, voice cracking slightly. “Okay. Yeah.” He sniffed and squeezed her hands, finding comfort in their warmth. “That’s a pill, right?” She nodded and patted his hand. He licked his lips and rolled his shoulders, nodding jerkily. 

“You think you can get some?” he asked hopefully, glancing up at her.

“I think I can,” Missouri said with a smile, standing and wrapping her arms as far as she could around him, one hand petting his hair. “Benny and a few others are going out on a run soon, and I'll have them check around some pharmacies. But we'll find some. And we're gonna put a stop to the pain and your worry, okay? And do me a favor in the meantime and try to broach the subject with Garth. It's something you gotta work through mentally too. Let him help.”

Dean groaned at the thought of Garth and talking, and of putting those two things together. He sighed loudly and nodded gloomily. She laughed softly and rubbed at his back before slowly pulling away.

“I know, you hate talking,” she smiled and fixed some of his windblown hair. It was starting to get longer than he usually kept it. “But I promise it’s good for you. Even if it’s not with Garth. Just talk to someone, baby, anyone.”

Dean wondered if wolves counted. Probably not. 

She sent him off again with the promise of letting him know when she received the antibiotics. It was snowing again and most everyone was inside, save for a few hauling around loads of wood. Up on the hill Dean could see flickering coming from inside of Alpha’s cabin and smoke billowing out of the chimney, and he found himself heading that way before he even realized it. He stopped at the bottom and shook his head, then just stood there, looking up at the quaint cabin on the hill. Sure, it was a little bigger than most, but not overly so. And being an Alpha and specifically, the only Alpha in the compound, he was more than entitled to a showier residence. But there was nothing out of the ordinary about it aside from where it sat overlooking the whole camp. 

Despite how early it was, the clouds cast a shadow over the compound and the snow was falling heavier each second. Dean stood outside as long as the cold let him, staring up at the Alpha’s cabin and thinking how nice it would be to have a home. A real home. Not a tiny cabin that he used only to sleep in and escape to when interacting with others became too much. A home with someone, maybe. A mate. But Dean didn’t feel like he’d ever be comfortable enough with anyone to be mated.

When the snow and wind were finally too much, Dean trudged back to his cabin and shut himself inside. He settled in for a day of boredom and watched the snow fall and fall outside his window.

\----

That night, when the snow finally stopped and everything was still, Dean put on every layer he had and silently stepped outside. He sniffed the air, only scenting a few Betas up and about near the gate-as usual. Satisfied he wouldn’t be spotted, Dean set out towards the woods. He was dimly aware that Rory was probably watching him somehow, the little sneak, but oh well. She had kept his secret so far. 

Breath fogging in ragged exhales as he climbed up the hill and past Alpha’s cabin, Dean disappeared into the trees. It took a little while, but he managed to find his spot. He found a stump and brushed off the snow before sitting down. 

Of course, now that was he out here he realized the wolf may not even be around. He’d heard no howling and it was pretty damn cold. The wolf is probably holed up somewhere, like the other smart ones. Whatever. He was here now and would enjoy the openness of the forest. Stuck inside a cabin all day made him anxious.

But it wasn't even a solid ten minutes before Dean could hear the crunching of the snow just ahead, and he could hear the shallow breathing. He couldn't see him yet, but he felt comforted by the fact that he was there, anyway. 

“Saw your prints in the snow,” Dean mumbled, wiping his nose on his sleeve and sniffing. “You checking on me?” He’s met, of course, with silence. He smiled anyway and shrugged. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell. Kinda nice, actually...someone caring that much.”

There was a snort from the shadows and more snow crunching under massive paws as he came into view, his head bowed when it emerged from the darkness. He blinked slowly at Dean and sat with his front paws together. 

Dean smirked and crossed his legs. The wolf didn't move, just watched him contentedly. 

“Sorry I haven’t been back out,” he went on, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket. An owl hooted nearby and Dean heard the sound of its wings as it took off into the night. “Eyes everywhere here. Good and bad, I guess. Used to bein’ on my own, though. Doing what I want when I want. Being under an Alpha is...different.” He licked his cold lips and turned to face the wolf. “But I guess you can’t relate to that. You’re Alpha. You make your own rules.”

The wolf stood again and swished its tail back and forth, then turned and walked along the tree line of the opening, off to one side then the other. He lifted his head as he scented the air and let out a breath in a huff through his nose, then stopped and lowered his nose to the ground. Finally he looked back over at Dean and took a few steps toward him, then sat again. After a beat he lowered his belly to the ground like he had the time before, his legs straight out ahead of him. He rested his head on his front legs, blinking up at Dean.

“Did you smell something?” Dean lifted his own nose and sniffed, but all he smelled was snow and the wolf, its scent familiar and tickling his nose. He hummed and tilted his head at the wolf, then slowly stood. When the wolf only stared at him, Dean chanced a step closer. The wolf blinked. Dean sniffed, rubbed at his nose, and took another step before sitting down across from the wolf. His knees were only about a foot away from those huge paws.

“You really are big,” Dean murmured, looking over the wolf admirably. “I don’t know how a big thing like you keeps yourself fed around here. We must be takin’ all your food.”

The wolf lifted his head and strained his neck toward Dean, scenting the air. He didn’t move an inch closer, just sniffed for a moment, then pulled back. He let out a low whine and put his head down again, his tail curling around one of his strong back legs.

Dean sighed softly and put his hands in his lap, mostly to keep them to himself. The wolf looked soft and warm, and Dean wanted to feel all that thick fur. Wolves weren’t pets, though and no matter how friendly this wolf was, he didn’t think it would appreciate being pawed at.

“You’re gorgeous,” Dean muttered, resting his chin on an elbow. “Your eyes remind me of my Alpha. So blue.” He scratched at his cheek. “Missouri says I should talk to someone. Anyone. I don’t think she meant some random wolf, but I think this counts. Might be cheating. You can’t understand what I’m saying, but that’s what makes it easy.”

He rubbed at his arms and shivered. He’d have to leave soon, but he really didn’t want to. “I hate talking to people,” Dean grumbled, looking down at the wolf, who was watching him intently. There was intelligence in that gaze. “I know I should. They could help. They want to help. But I couldn’t stand the look when I tell them...when they know…” Dean shook his head. “They’ll look at me different. Just some broken down Omega.”

The wolf whined again and shimmied forward on his belly, nudging his nose against Dean’s hand. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, letting it out in a huff that shook his whole body. When he opened them again they were immediately trained back on Dean, fierce and blue and trustworthy. The corner of Dean’s mouth quirked in a smile and he moved his hand slightly to ghost his fingertips over the wolf’s muzzle. The wolf didn’t seem to mind, nothing in his stance showing any kind of discomfort.

Dean took a chance and reached out, very slowly, lightly touching the tips of his fingers across the wolf’s head, just between his ears. The wolf remained relaxed and Dean let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He scooted closer and rubbed behind the wolf’s ear. 

“Knew you’d be soft,” Dean said with a smile. “Just don’t bite my hand off. That’d really suck.” He slid his down the wolf’s neck then back up, the black fur silky between his fingers. 

The Alpha began to purr, or at least that’s what it sounded like to Dean. The sound came from deep in his chest and rumbled outward, his eyes closed as Dean’s hand moved over his head and down his neck, back under his muzzle. He shifted a little closer and rested his nose on Dean’s thigh, scenting the denim of his jeans, damp with snow. He nosed along his thigh gently, and the purring stopped suddenly, turning into another whine. His tongue darted out to lick at the inside seam of his jeans just above his knee, and the blue eyes looked up at him again.

Dean snorted a laugh, smiling widely now, and the unfamiliar motion hurt his cheeks. “Getting a little friendly there, buddy,” he said, massaging just behind the wolf’s ear. “I usually make a man work for it first.” He chuckled, surprised at himself more than anything else. He could never let anyone get this close, let alone an Alpha. It was bad enough letting Missouri up in his business. But he felt comfortable with the wolf and, maybe, in a way they were the same. Both alone and just needing some simple companionship.

The wolf whined again and scented him some more, nudging his nose along his legs and once at his abdomen, which caused Dean to shrink back a little at the realization that the Alpha had found his scars. The wolf shifted back out of Dean’s immediate space after that, but still close enough that Dean could reach out and touch him. 

He stood after a minute, shaking the snow out of his fur. He stepped forward and nuzzled against Dean’s shoulder, running his entire body along his and turning back to sit next to Dean, just a few feet away. He yawned and licked his chops, giving Dean his first good view of shiny white teeth and large fangs.

Dean’s eyes widened comically and he whistled lowly. “Damn, boy,” he smirked and the wolf blinked, cocking its head. “Those are fuckin’ huge. Put any Alpha to shame.” He paused then shrugged, blushing slightly. “Actually, my Alpha’s are...are pretty big. Not that I’m looking, just...you know. Hard not to notice.” He groaned and rubbed at his cold face, sniffing again. “Jesus, I gotta stop that. He’s mated for fuck’s sake and I’m...I don’t even know what I’m doing. What I want. I’ve never wanted an Alpha before. Spent my whole life running from them. But...ya know, when I was younger...I used to imagine what it would be like to have one. A good one.” He sighed, breath coming out in a cloud. “Stupid, I guess. I can’t even be around one without snarling at him. I’m a damn mess.”

The wolf cocked his head again, this time in the other direction, and Dean let out a laugh. He shuffled a little closer, sniffing the air and looking back toward the camp. It was much colder than it was when Dean ventured out, and not even much time had passed. He’d known it was going to be a rough winter, even prepared himself for it before the idea of finding this compound became anywhere close to a reality. People here seemed decently well prepared for it too, but there was only so much that could be done when Dean made the conscious decision to be out in the heart of one of the storms when he could be in his warm cabin under all the blankets he still had stockpiled from his heat.

His mind drifted to what Missouri said and he wondered if his next heat would be worse with the antibiotic in his system, since she said the rest would pass with his heat. He was sure it’d be messy, and he was already not looking forward to facing whoever came to get his dirty laundry each day, multiple times a day. Last time it was mostly Benny, since he was the only one Dean felt particularly comfortable around at the time. But Charlie had done it a few times, and he thought maybe Castiel had even taken them one of the times he’d come, but he can’t be sure since it was during the heat-induced haze. It really was like Missouri had said it would be around here though; everyone helped everyone. 

The wolf walked slowly back over to him and just stood next to where Dean sat, staring off into the darkness of the woods. He blinked slowly into the night sky, scenting the air every few moments but seeming decently relaxed. Everything must be quiet tonight; nothing for an Alpha to do. Which was probably why he was spending his time listening to Dean talk in the first place.

Finally, after a long moment of silence between the two, Dean slowly stood and stretched his cold stiff legs. He pushed his hands in his pockets and began walking back towards camp, the wolf trotting behind him like a guard dog. At the edge of the trees, the wolf stopped and Dean reached down to scratch behind his ear one more time.

“Thanks again,” he sighed. “Go get warm or...you know, whatever it is you do out here.” Dean climbed down the hill and didn’t have to look back to know the wolf watched him the whole way down.


	5. Chapter 5

For the first time since he’d gotten to the compound, Dean slept in. Usually he was up and going before the sun, but the light was shining through his window and Dean was still sound asleep. He dreamed of dark wolves and blue-eyed Alphas, and often the two mixed. 

When he did finally wake, it was late into the morning and Dean was confusedly half aroused. He shook himself, chuffed, then yawned as he sat up. He blinked blearily out the window, staring blankly at the people going about their business. Pups playing and laughing, Omegas trying to keep them in line, and Betas moving to and fro doing...whatever.

It was a day that Dean wished he had a book and could, well... _ read _ , so he could stay inside. He could sense his tolerance for people was short today. He wasn’t even sure if Benny would get anything more than a snarl. 

Ah, damn it. He was irritable. Which meant his heat was creeping back up. It was always an early sign. A good five days warning before it took hold. The grumpies only lasted a day or so, followed by lethargy, then the itching, and finally the heat. It was way too early for it, but his internal schedule was out of whack anyway. And being around Castiel seemed to be throwing it off kilter even more.

Dean sighed and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window, closing his eyes. Maybe he should just hide in here for the day. He’d hate to snap at anyone, especially Rory. She wouldn’t understand.

Dean’s confused when he hears a knock on his door about an hour later, because Benny’s a large guy and usually his heavy steps on Dean’s porch give him away, but there was virtual silence before the knocking. Dean frowned and got up, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders as he swung the door open.

“Dean, hello, I-” Dean’s met with Castiel’s blue eyes and he fumbled over his words, his nostrils flaring as he pressed his lips together. “Um.” Castiel cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m sorry to have bothered you. I just had to take Aurora in to see Missouri and she let me know that she has something for you, when you get the chance to stop by. I’m sorry...she didn’t elaborate. I guess she assumed you’d know what she meant.”

Dean’s eyes widened and he momentarily forgot he was only half dressed and wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito.

“Ah, yeah. Yes. Okay.” He nodded and shifted the blanket over his shoulders. “Thank you. For telling me.” Dean made a mental note to never ask Missouri how she got those pills so quickly. She had her ways and Dean wanted to remain ignorant. 

“Of course,” Castiel said, and Dean thought he'd turn to leave, but he didn't. He shifted from foot to foot and shoved his inexplicably tanned hands in his pockets, looking around then back to Dean. “I'm glad to see you getting along here better. I know pack life is much different than you're accustomed to, but I think you'll come to appreciate it. I don’t think I could ever go back to being alone. Not really.”

He took a deep breath through his mouth and licked his lips. “Aurora told me she spoke with you a few days ago. I want to apologize for her. She’s a sometimes overzealous child, quite inquisitive. Charlie works with her a lot. She’s becoming much too intelligent, much too quickly, if you ask me.” He huffed a laugh and immediately frowned, looking back over his shoulder at the medic cabin. 

Dean snorted and laughed despite himself. “Overzealous...understatement,” he murmured good naturedly. “Don’t have to apologize. She was...nice. Little annoying, but most pups are.” He glanced over Cas’s shoulder and tilted his head. “She alright? Lotta pups getting colds.”

“She’ll be okay, I think,” Castiel said, but he chewed his lip nervously. “Just a cough that won’t seem to go away. I usually try to treat her naturally, but...it was being stubborn. I just…” he sighed heavily and wrung his hands together, “I worry for her, a lot. She’s all I have.”

He looked back up at Dean and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Anyway, she insisted on staying with Missouri tonight. Apparently she made cookies, so Papa is exponentially less interesting.”

“I think he’s interesting,” Dean mumbled, then snapped his jaw shut once he realized what he’d just said. Damn his sleep ideled brain. He was always slack jawed at the very beginning of a heat. It was like having the flu. Grouchy, foggy, and sleepy. 

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” he said quickly to cover up his embarrassing lack of filter. “She’s young. Young can fight off anything. Used to get sick every winter and somehow got through it.”

He stepped back a bit and licked his lips. “You...you want to come in?”

Castiel met his eyes again and nodded, and he stepped inside, looking around awkwardly as Dean closed the door behind them. Not that the typical cabin was much more than a bed, a couple of tables and chairs, and a small kitchenette, so there wasn’t much for him to see that he hadn’t seen a million times over.

_ In other Omegas’ cabins, which he’d surely spent a lot of time in,  _ Dean’s brain cruelly reminded him, but he shook it off.

Castiel walked over to the window and looked out, then turned back to Dean. “Pardon me if this is too forward, but it smells calm in here. Like perhaps you’re becoming a bit more comfortable. It’s a good sign. It makes me happy to see you so.”

Dean shrugged shyly and shuffled over to the chair, plopping down in it and sniffing once. “Just...found someone to talk to, is all,” he said softly. “It helps, I guess.”

He looked up at Cas, blinking at the uncharacteristic twitching of fingers and restless shifting of feet. Dean frowned and couldn’t recall a time when Castiel wasn’t calm and smooth. Maybe being around Dean made him uncomfortable. Or he was more worried about Rory than he was letting on.

“You don’t seem so calm,” Dean remarked bravely. 

“No, I suppose not,” Castiel said after a brief silence, staring out the window. He turned and blinked at Dean, then sat himself across the table from him, resting his hands on the worn wood. He closed his eyes and took a calculated breath in through his nose, nostrils flaring, then out again, opening them again. The contrast of blue against his pitch black pupil was particularly stark in this light, especially compared to the light blue of Aurora’s eyes that day on the porch. 

“You’re preparing to go into your next heat, aren’t you, Dean?”

Dean lowered his gaze, albeit reluctantly. He could stare at those eyes all day. He nodded once and pulled at the edge of the blanket. “Yeah,” he sighed tiredly. “ ‘S too soon, but…” Dean shrugged. “My schedule’s never been right. Missouri’s tryin’ to fix that.”

He licked his lips and swallowed, opening his mouth to tell him. To tell Alpha everything. But the words died just as soon as he even thought it. Mated or not, he couldn’t let Castiel know the truth. He couldn’t stand the look of pity. He wanted to be strong for his Alpha, as stupid as that was. Castiel had an Omega and a pup. He wasn’t looking for a mate, especially one so damaged like Dean.

Castiel gave him a warm smile, although his body language was stiff, a hand gripping the side of the table like he was holding himself there. He shoved his hands in his pockets again and nodded.

“Missouri knows what she’s doing. She’ll fix whatever’s going on.” His attention was back at the window as he said it, and Dean could tell he was hoping Missouri would be able to work her magic on his pup. 

Suddenly Castiel stood, bracing himself against the table. He pulled at his collar and swallowed hard. “I’ll do my best to get down here to see you. I know your last heat was not easy for you. I imagine they won’t be until Missouri is able to balance you out.” He walked to the door, his hand hesitating on the handle. The thick smell of Alpha clouded Dean’s space, not that he minded, except for the fact that he was so close to heat and the smell did nothing to help curb it. 

Castiel turned again, fixing Dean with his stone blue gaze. Dean was immediately reminded of what Aurora said about eyes being the windows to the soul, and Castiel was trying to see directly into his. He had pretty eyes, she’d said. Just like her Mama’s.

Dean swallowed and looked away, unwilling-or unable-to let Castiel see that deeply. He didn’t want Alpha to see all that ugliness. 

“Heats are never easy,” Dean said lowly. “Never will be.” His refusal for a knot wreaked havoc on his body every time. But it wasn’t the knot necessarily that it needed. It was the Alpha seed, pumped inside to soothe the fever and satisfy his Omega biology. A fake knot helped trick his body into thinking it was getting what it needed, but even then it might not work. 

“I'm sorry,” Castiel said finally. “I would do anything I could to take that pain away from you.” He looked down at his hands, and Dean got the feeling he wasn't necessarily talking about the heat anymore, but it was probably just him being paranoid. “If I can do anything,” he started again, looking into Dean's eyes, “to help alleviate further discomfort, that is, please let me know. You can come to me anytime.”

Dean, very briefly, imagined exactly what his Alpha could do to ‘alleviate that pain’. It was only a second, a quick flash of Dean pressed underneath Castiel, and it was enough to heat up his whole body. 

He shuddered violently and huffed, knowing his scent was probably sending off all sorts of signals now. He wrenched his eyes away from Castiel, and nodded stiffly. “...I’ll keep that in mind,” Dean murmured. 

Castiel balled his hands into fists, shoving them in his pockets. He nodded at Dean and pressed his lips into a thin line.

“Good,” he said simply. He opened the door and stepped outside. “Go on now, and see Missouri. She’s patient in many respects but not when it comes to your health.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips and he gave a small tight-lipped smile, then closed the door behind him.

Dean’s shoulders sagged and he groaned, laying his forehead on the surface of the table. Maybe once he was balanced again he wouldn’t react so strongly to the Alpha. If this kept up, Dean wasn’t sure he could stay. Eventually Castiel’s mate was going to catch wind that he’s unwillingly sending sex signals to her Alpha. And that’s a mess he didn’t want to deal with. 

He sighed and stood, putting on his clothes reluctantly and grumbling as he stepped outside. He shook off the cold and headed towards the medic cabin, only giving small nods to anyone who waved a good morning. 

Dean blinked when he stepped inside and lingered near the door while he waited for Missouri to step away from her current patient. He caught eyes with Rory and inclined his head when she waved with a smile. 

“Be right with ya, baby,” Missouri walked by on her way back to Rory and pointed at Dean. She pulled the curtain around Rory’s bed and Dean listened intently, but he only heard her occasional cough. 

Dean only had to wait a few minutes before Missouri made her way to him, and she pulled him behind one of her curtains and handed him a small unlabeled bottle of pills. 

“I completely forgot I had an extra bottle lying around from last time we had to use it here at the compound.” She waved a hand around and tapped her forehead. “Not what it used to be. Alright, now. Take the misoprostal twice a day, every twelve hours, from now until your heat. Put the pill under your tongue and let it dissolve completely, then swallow. By the end of the heat, everything should have passed and your pain should start to recede in your abdomen area.”

Dean turned the bottle in his hand, the pills rattling against the plastic, and nodded slowly. He’d never had real medicine before. Just old remedies he’d picked up for simple ailments. 

“Thank you,” Dean murmured. He couldn’t say he was looking forward to this or the mess it was going to make, but if helped lessen the pain than he’d grit his way through it like he did everything else. “You’ll be there, right?” He asked suddenly, looking up from the bottle. “You said you wanted to..to monitor.” 

“Of course, baby. I’ll be there as long as you want me.” Missouri laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed with a smile. “If there’s a point when I can’t, I’ll make sure someone else is. Someone you feel comfortable with, so don’t worry.”

She moved her hand to the side of his face and patted gently, then frowned and pressed the back of her hand to Dean’s forehead. 

“You goin’ back in already? It’s barely been, what? Three weeks?”

Dean nodded solemnly and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Told you. Never the same. I…” he hesitated, but if anyone needed to know it was her, “It’s Alpha, I think. I’m...reacting to him. Maybe. I don’t know. Never around Alphas much.” 

“Well, that’s normal,” she assured him, and Dean was, not for the first time, grateful for her understanding and non-judgement. “Been on your own all this time with no Alpha...coming to a camp that reeks very specifically of one Alpha is bound to do it to you. It’s just an adjustment period, sugar. And Castiel has seen it all, so don’t you even worry about what he may think. You may have noticed he has a...stronger resolve than most Alphas.”

Dean snorted at that. It was definitely true. Castiel, despite being around so many Omegas and their heats, never showed even a hint of interest. Even mated Alphas reacted to heats, but Castiel seemed immune. 

Dean pocketed his pills and nodded his thanks to Missouri. She promised once again she’d be there for his upcoming heat then sent him on his way. He hastily retreated back to his cabin and locked himself in for the rest of the day. 

It seemed his typical five day warning had waned somewhat, as by that evening he was already sweating through his clothes, despite the fact that he was sure he hadn’t contracted the fever yet. He took his first dose of the misoprostal right before dinner, which was some kind of spinach soup that Missouri had brought him. It wasn’t his favorite meal since he’d been there, but it was still decently tasty, and she insisted that he needed more leafy greens in his diet to boost his iron before the heat since he’d likely be losing some blood because of the medication.

He tried to put his heat out of his mind for the next couple of days, but by day two, Benny approached him while he was mending Jody and Donna’s porch slats that someone’s pup had run into and subsequently broken. He wrinkled his nose and noticeably held his breath, clapping Dean on the shoulder.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, cher, cause you smell good and all, but you need to get on outta here. Go hole yourself up in that cabin of yours and take a few days off.” He waved a hand at the half-fixed porch. “I can finish up here.”

Dean grumbled and considered arguing, but he’d sweated through two layers and he could feel his clothes clinging to him, and he realized he must be permeating heated Omega to all the nearby Betas and Omegas. Thankfully, none of them seemed bothered enough to point it out.

He trudged back to his cabin, sparing a glance back over his shoulder, up the hill. He hadn’t seen Castiel personally since a few days before when he visited his cabin. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen him at all...anywhere, in the past couple of days. He didn’t even remember seeing Aurora anywhere, and he felt a little guilty for not wondering what the outcome of her sickness was. 

But despite the lack of Castiel’s presence around the compound, his scent still hung heavy over the entire camp, clinging to every surface, laced through the air, in Dean’s nose and even worse, in his head. Sometimes the scent would be particularly strong, in or near his cabin from his visits or in one of the common areas, and he wasn’t able to control the gush of slick. He hated feeling like his body was betraying him, but he found himself wondering if it  _ was  _ betrayal if he actually  _ did  _ want Castiel.

He shut the cabin door a little forcefully behind him and sat down on the bed, reaching over to grab his pill bottle and placing his second dose of the day under his tongue, like Missouri had instructed him. He waited until the bitter pill was completely dissolved before swallowing and sighed as he looked out the window.

He watched people come and go, Omegas ushering pups and Betas dragging huge logs to repair a section of fence that had fallen. 

Dean closed his eyes, willing his body to cool down, but of course it didn’t. It was only getting hotter, his hormones ramping up and making his channel slacken. It was all happening too fast. His heat would be knocking on the door come the next day. 

He growled in frustration and, in a fit of sudden rage at himself and his broken body, smashed his fist into the wall just below the window. Pain pounded through his hand and arm, skin tearing as he scraped open his knuckles. He didn’t care and punched again, and again, snarling at nothing. His claws lengthened and he tore at the wall when his knuckles were too bloody to keep going. 

By the time he sagged with pain and exhaustion, the wall above his bed was shredded along with his sheets. His hand was a bloody mess and his claws pulsed. Dean breathed raggedly and stumbled to his little sink, pushing his hand under the freezing water to wash away the blood. He patched it up with that was left of his sheets and collapsed onto the bare mattress, glaring up at his ceiling as the world outside darkened. 

He woke up out of a dead sleep to a sharp pain in his abdomen that had him convulsing against the mattress, and he mentally cursed himself for having destroyed the sheets in his fit of rage. Now he was gushing slick all over it and they’d never get the smell out. He looked up above his bed to see the aftermath of his tantrum and gritted his teeth when it reminded him of the searing pain in his hand, only muted slightly by the stabbing pain in his gut. 

He turned on his side and tried to curl in on himself, but the next pain caused him to cry out, and he clamped his mouth shut again quickly because it had to be the middle of the night and he didn’t want to wake anyone. His eyes went wide as the pain gnawed at his insides and he could feel the beaded sweat on his forehead dripping off as he shook, staining the mattress with more of his stink. He hated it. He hated himself. He was stupid and a burden and wasn’t normal, couldn’t be in a regular pack with regular people-

A desperate howl ripped through the unassuming peacefulness of the night and seemed to last forever, tapering off at the end with a raspy growl. Goosebumps broke out on Dean’s arms and he looked to the window, but of course nothing could be seen other than snow, trees, and the light of the moon. 

It was a few moments before he heard snow crunching around his cabin, and he tensed through his shivering. He let out a low groan as the pain gripped him again, interrupted by the creaking of the wood on his porch just outside his door. He listened carefully, clutching his stomach and trying not to make any noise despite his blood trying to boil him alive. There was some sniffing, and he jumped when his door began to rattle, something scratching at it from the other side. 

Then silence. Absolute, total silence, aided only by the wind whipping against the side of his cabin.

When Dean heard the howling again, it sounded much further away and a little less urgent. He was so wrapped up in the sound that he didn’t hear the footsteps approaching his cabin in the middle of the night, and he nearly jumped out of bed when his door was thrown open and immediately slammed shut again. It was dark and Dean’s eyes weren’t properly adjusted, so all he could see as he cowered against the wall and growled was a form with rubber boots up to their mid-calf and a large blanket-type thing thrown over their shoulders and head. 

“You best not be growlin’ at me, boy.” Missouri’s voice immediately had Dean relaxing, and he sheathed his fangs again. She threw off her hood and carefully removed the blanket around her shoulders, laying it over the back of a chair. Dean blinked a few times and let his eyes adjust better to the darkness, but it was still too dark to see much of anything. Missouri finally lit a small candle in the window, and she turned back to what Dean was sure was a sight, him half naked and curled up on a bare mattress, the wood above his bed marred and covered in blood from the hand he had wrapped in what was left of his destroyed sheets. He clung to his middle and shook violently, whining pitifully, and Missouri clicked her tongue and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Come here, baby,” she held her arms out, patted the mattress next to her. “Come on, it’s alright. Missouri’s gonna watch over you.”

Dean didn’t even hesitate and crawled over to her, resting his head in her lap. He wanted to drag himself over her, like a pup would a mom, but that would be grossly unpleasant for her and he was much too big anyway. He settled for this small amount of comfort and sighed when her hands found his sweaty hair. 

He clung to his middle and rocked, whimpering and whining, tears falling freely down his face as the pain seared through him. He didn’t dare look at the mess starting to seep out of him slowly, some of it slick, some of it other stuff he didn’t want to ever think about. 

Dean almost jumped when another howl ripped through the air. He arched, almost off the bed, as his body convulsed in reaction. He growled, senses humming as he began to smell something else in the air that wasn’t his own self. 

_ Alpha _ . 

Dean whined low in his throat, slick gushing and hole fluttering. His Alpha was near. His Alpha was in  _ rut _ . All logic left Dean. Instinct took over and he howled, long and loud, in response to the Alpha.  _ His _ Alpha. 

Missouri wrapped her arms around his chest and held him for awhile after, pulling only far enough away to push some sweaty hair off of his forehead. A responding howl came a little while later, much further away this time, and Dean whimpered in response.

“Friend of yours?” Missouri asked, dabbing his forehead with the sleeve of her shirt. She held him again and looked away to the window. “Seems worried about you.”

Dean didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. All he could was whine again when he heard another howl, desperate and far away. His Alpha was leaving, leaving him behind, rejecting his scent. 

He clawed at the mattress as his body convulsed again, the pain almost doubling, and he curled up into a pitiful ball. His scent thickened and seeped into the air in a desperate attempt to entice the Alpha back, but even so Dean knew Alpha was too far away now. His body didn’t get that message, though. His heat fogged brain could only think in a jumbled mess. 

_ Alpharutbreedalpharutbreedalpha _ **_ALPHA. Rut. Breed._ **

Dean howled again, no longer in control of himself, loud enough to make the whole camp jump and twitch, the sound sad and desperate and broken. 

The sound of Alpha ceased completely and Dean was in and out of consciousness the rest of the night. Missouri woke him once and insisted on going to get him some clean sheets, which she promptly put on the bed and wrapped him in after helping him get changed and cleaned up. Dean was too out of it to care what she was seeing, even knowing it was far more than she’d seen at his doctor’s visit. He vaguely remembered her wiping away slick and a little blood, but she didn’t seem overly concerned, so it must have been normal from the misoprostal. 

Missouri didn’t have to leave at all again until late the next day, to go deal with some things at the medic cabin and bring Dean some food. Charlie came in the meantime to change his sheets, and Dean vaguely registered Aurora’s face and she stood outside his door where Charlie insisted she stay, forehead creased with worry. But it was only a brief moment before Charlie closed the door, and Dean didn’t let himself think too much of it. Surely the child had witnessed her own Mama in heat before, anyway. 

Charlie was sweet and helpful, and Dean almost asked where Castiel was, since he’d promised to try to come visit during his heat. But he refrained, figuring Charlie wouldn’t much like him asking about her Alpha.

Aurora somehow shouldered herself inside past Charlie when she was on the way out, and despite Charlie’s chiding, she walked over to Dean’s bed and held something out in her hand. Dean squinted against the dark of the cabin, and he could see it appeared to be a necklace of some sort, with a silver bullet casing attached to the end.

“Mama gave this to Papa once, and she said it was for when he was feeling less than human. He said it helped him remember how fragile humanity was, and because of that kept him alive many times when he wasn’t sure he’d make it.” She reached forward and slipped the cord around his neck, pressing a small hand against the bullet resting on his sweaty chest. “You need it right now. Papa will understand.”

Dean didn’t get the chance to respond before Charlie scooped her up, apologized profusely, and left.

The day was a haze of fever, pain, and a steady stream of trusted people coming in to change the sheets and make sure Dean was plenty hydrated and fed. Missouri came back to pop more medicine in him, but couldn’t stay long. Being with him all night the previous night meant she had little sleep and needed to rest. Eventually, from pure exhaustion, Dean fell into a fitful sleep. 

When he woke again, it was unnaturally quiet. It was pitch black outside, no wind to hear, and he was alone. He could tell someone had been in to fill up his water and leave some food, though. 

He lay on his bed in a boneless heap, pain and slick and sweat all coursing through him. Dean could hardly care at the moment, too tired to even rub at his aching abdomen. 

And then he heard it. Chuffing outside, hard sniffs and exhales just by his door. Dean sniffed weakly, but his heat scent clouded all else. The Omega could only listen as his floor boards on the porch creaked and groaned, and a scratching started up on his door. 

His scent flared and he groaned pitifully, rolling over onto his stomach. Dean rolled his hips, pressing into the mattress and rubbing desperately. The scratching picked up, a low whine, and Dean echoed it.

It stopped again suddenly and all noise disappeared, and Dean wasn’t sure if the silence was better or worse. He wanted  _ his  _ Alpha, specifically, his Alpha’s  _ knot,  _ which was silly because he barely knew the man and he knew if it came down to that he would still be afraid. It’s amazing how he could want something so badly while simultaneously wanting no parts of it.

“What are you doin’ out here?” Benny’s booming voice came from outside, and Dean realized he’d been listening too hard for a howl that he hadn’t heard him approaching. “Go on, then. Get outta here.”

Dean heard Benny’s footsteps on his porch, then a loud thump as he brought his boot down hard against the protesting wood. “I said  _ git _ !” He was still mumbling to himself when he opened the door, closing it firmly behind him and laying some food on the table, with a cup of something steaming beside it.

Dean let out a pitiful whine and Benny turned and put his hands on his hips, letting out a breath.

“Ah, good, you’re awake,” he said gruffly, scrubbing a hand down his face. “How you doin’, cher?”

Dean gave him a withering stare and moved onto his back, panting up at the ceiling. He strained to listen for his Alpha, but he heard nothing. Benny had chased him away and Dean almost resented him for it. 

He shifted and grimaced at the mess he felt on the sheets. He’d be ashamed for Benny seeing it if he wasn’t so sore and exhausted. 

“Thirsty,” Dean croaked, eyeballing the full pitcher of water on the table. He sat up slowly and Benny waited patiently before passing him some water. Dean gulped it down, his Adam’s apple bobbing, then set aside the half empty pitcher with a sigh.

“Got some simple stuff over here, bread and some fruit, and I’ll bring ya some fish later on today,” Benny waved a hand over at the food he’d sat on the table. “And Castiel sent me with some of his, uh. ‘Special’ tea. It’ll help with the pain, anyway.”

He huffed and grabbed the mug, offering it to Dean. “It tastes like shit, but it works. Old man gave me some a year ago when I broke my leg.”

Dean took the offered mug and sipped at it, immediately gagging at the taste. He took a breath and tried again, trying to pass it over his tongue quickly. He’d do just about anything to take away the pain, short of a knot. 

“Blegh,” Dean coughed and set aside the empty mug, shaking his head as if that would dispel the taste. He shifted and stumbled over to the table, stuffing whatever piece of food was closest into his mouth and chomping it down without really tasting any of it. 

“Give it an hour or so,” Benny said, grabbing the mug off his side table. “Takes a bit to kick in, but it should give you at least a couple hours of restful sleep.”

Benny let out a heavy sigh and walked back over to the door, leaning back against it and allowing his head to fall back. He crossed one foot over the other and stuck his hands in his pants pockets, watching Dean scarf down the food he’d brought.

When there was only crumbs left, Dean shuffled back over to his bed and lay down on his stomach. For the sake of modesty and to keep  _ some _ dignity, Dean pulled a blanket over himself and glanced over at Benny.

“Look tired,” Dean mumbled into his pillow, blinking up at him. Benny had bags under his eyes and his shoulders sagged, as if he carried a heavy weight.

Benny frowned at him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, well. Been a long couple-a days.” He looked straight ahead out the window and kicked his foot against the floor, then motioned to the bed. 

“Need me to change those sheets for ya ‘fore I go?”

Dean nodded a bit ashamedly and got off the bed so Benny could strip it of the sheets. He replaced them quickly, patted Dean on the shoulder, then lumbered off with his armful of sheets.

Left alone once again, Dean laid down and stared up at the window. He waited for any other sign of his Alpha, but the night remained quiet. Disappointed, but oddly relieved as well, the Omega succumbed to his exhaustion once again and passed out.

\----

The next time Dean woke, it was afternoon and Missouri was sitting on the edge of the bed, gently running her hand up and down his back as she hummed to herself. He let loose a rumbling purr and she chuckled.

“Fever has gone down,” she said with a small smile. “Looks out you’re over the hump, honey. All down hill from here.” Missouri patted his shoulder and stood, helping him into a sitting position. “Your sheets are still pretty good, too. A day or so and you’ll be done, sugar.”

Dean sighed in relief and opened up obediently when she held a pill to his lips. He blinking, letting the awful tasting thing dissolve before gulping down some water. 

“Everyone’s been worried about ya,” Missouri shook her head with a wry smile. “Rory especially. Askin’ every day after you. That girl is too curious for her own good.”

Dean snorted and rubbed at his eyes, then scratched at his cheek with a wide yawn. The pain was more or less gone, nothing but a dull throb down below. Slick still trickled out, but it was much less than just the day before. And there didn’t seem to much if any blood mixed with it.

“I think that did the trick, baby. You feelin’ a little better?” Missouri rubbed his back. Dean nodded and mumbled something incoherently. 

“Benny told me he gave you some of Castiel's tea,” she said knowingly, a hint of scolding in her voice, but she chuckled. “No wonder you slept so well.”

Dean actually managed a wobbly smile and leaned over to lay his head against her. “Tasted like balls,” he grunted, then flushed when he realized he probably shouldn’t talk like that in front of someone he was beginning to think of as a mom.

But she just laughed and nodded. “Yeah, well, it does the trick,” Missouri shrugged and brushed back some of hair. It was matted against his forehead. “We’ll need to wash you up, baby. I won’t force you into the showers, because I know you don’t like to use those, and you’re too weak for them anyhow.” She pointed over to a bucket full of a soapy hot water, a large sponge floating on top. “I’m gonna give you a quick sponge bath until we can give you a real wash.”

The bath was much less awkward than Dean expected, and once again he was surprised by how well he took to Missouri so quickly. Once bathed and in freshly-laundered clothes-thanks to Charlie, Missouri told him- Dean felt much better. Still very sore and weak, but overall better. 

She brought another bowl of the spinach soup which Dean lapped up greedily, washing it down with another pitcher of cold water. 

“Keep hydrating throughout the day,” she told him, “really important coming out of heat.” She finished cleaning out the tub and stood, putting her hands on her hips and looking over at him. “What you gonna do today? Gonna stay in and rest?”

Dean shrugged as he traced invisible patterns into the wood of the table, running his tongue over his teeth. He would like to get out of the cabin and stretch his legs, but he dreaded facing anyone. He knew very well how much noise he made, how much a burden he was, and not to mention the mess. He’d lost count on how many times they had to change the bedding.

“Might walk around,” he muttered quietly. “Not sure yet.” Dean looked up at Missouri and wanted to ask about Castiel. Alpha had said he’d come and check on him, but as far as memory served he never showed. 

“Well, make sure to eat something. And plenty of fluids,” she reiterated sternly, pointing a finger at him. “And for the love of all that's holy, if you see Rory runnin’ around anywhere,  _ please _ let her know you're alright.” Missouri pursed her lips and gathered her things, patted him on the cheek, and left. 

Dean puttered around his cabin a couple of hours, opening up the window to let out most of the heat scent. By early evening, most of everyone were beginning to turn in for the night. Dean decided it was a good time to take a walk, as there would be less chance to run into anyone.

Jacket in place and boots laced up, Dean stepped outside and blinked at the setting sun. He rolled his shoulders and picked a random direction, head down and hands stuffed into his pockets. His mind was blessedly silent, still muddled from the fading heat. 

When Dean found himself wandering towards Alpha’s cabin, he veered off into the woods. It was too early to see his wolf, but that was okay. He just needed to walk a bit, clear his head, and not think about heats or Alphas or...anything.

He found his usual spot and sat with a sigh. The cold air was doing wonders to his overly warm skin. And it felt nice to be outside. The smell of snow and trees, of chimney smoke and that ever present blanket of Castiel. It was all very welcomed compared to his heat stink.

He raised a hand to the silver bullet casing around his neck and immediately felt guilty that he hadn't told Rory he was okay. He made a mental note to tell her tomorrow. He rolled the casing between his fingers as he looked out into the woods and stopped to consider his own fragile humanity. Abandoned by his parents through no intentional fault of his own, abused, starved, freezing and sick, and somehow he'd made it here, to Eden. So many times his life had been put at risk, and he was one of the ones who survived, and now he was living better than he could've ever imagined. Humanity  _ was _ fragile, but Dean had a feeling luck had a bit to do with it too, not his strong will. Definitely not some trinket given to him by someone born into a privileged life that thought he knew something about those who weren't. 

He gripped the necklace tightly and thought about tearing it off and casting it into the brush, but something large and warm and  _ soft _ came from behind him. The wolf laid down next to him and put its heavy head in his lap, and Dean dropped the necklace back to his chest, train of thought forgotten. 

Dean would later blame it on the residual heat, but he stupidly wrapped his arms around the wolf’s big neck and bent forward to press his body up against that strong body. The wolf sniffed and licked its chops, tail swishing in the snow, and turned its head to lick at Dean’s face. 

Dean smiled and rubbed his cheek against warm, thick fur. He didn't remember much from his heat, but he  _ did  _ remember, through the haze, a beast scratching and huffing at his door. Castiel didn’t bother to check on him, but his wolf did. 

The wolf whined when Dean pulled back again, and he nudged his hand with his nose. He sniffed loudly, obviously smelling what remained of his fading heat. He whined again and scooted forward more, pressing his heavy body against Dean’s side and flicked his tail.

Dean worked a hand into the fur between his ears again, and the wolf closed his eyes and the purr-like sound returned, rumbling through his chest. It stopped when Dean stopped, and he laughed when the wolf opened his eyes and cocked his head at him.

“Demanding,” Dean smiled and resumed his scratching and massaging. The wolf closed his eyes and rumbled, tail twitching happily. 

“Sorry about my scent,” Dean sighed, digging his fingers into the fur. “Heat’s mostly over. Couldn’t stand my cabin anymore, though.” He massaged the base of the wolf’s neck. “And I didn’t want to bother anyone. I’m already so much trouble...sure they’re sick of me by now.” 

The wolf stood and nosed at Dean’s cheek, rubbing the length of his body against Dean’s arm. He huffed and sniffed at his neck, then the necklace hanging down over his chest, then his hands. When he laid back down again in his spot, head in Dean’s lap, he licked at his knee.

Dean grinned, so much so his face hurt, and bent down to lay his torso across the wolf’s neck and back.

“You came to see me,” he said quietly into the fur. “I know it was you. Benny chased you off though. Guess it was for the best. My scent musta had you going. Didn’t think it would reach you out here, but…” Dean shrugged and nosed at the wolf’s head. “Nice to have some effect on at least one Alpha. Even if he scares me, I still  _ want _ it...which I know makes no sense, but nothing about me makes sense anymore. Everything’s broken.” 

The wolf whined so softly Dean wasn’t even sure at first that the sound was coming from him, but it started low in his chest and built to a half-hearted howl. He sat up again and blinked at Dean, then inclined his head toward the camp, quiet for a moment as he listened. When he was content that everything was as normal in the compound, he nudged Dean again with his nose and threw his head back and howled, loud this time, and it sounded like it went on forever. 

He huffed when he stopped, sitting down on his haunches. His black coat shone beautifully in the lingering sunlight, although Dean much preferred the way it looked with the moonlight reflected off of it.

“Trying to show off?” Dean smirked and reached out, running his lap hand down the wolf’s large chest. “Or maybe you’re trying to claim me. Might have to take that up with Castiel. You’d make a good Alpha, though.” He huffed and hugged his arms around the wolf. 

It nuzzled and licked his cheek, turning and rubbing roughly against him as he walked away, leaving Dean with his scent. He was a smart wolf, because now other wolves would assume he was claimed and leave him alone. Whether there were other wolves in the compound or not was beyond Dean, but he hadn’t seen or heard any. If he was a wolf he’d probably do his best to avoid this big guy too.

The Alpha doubled back and rubbed against him again, and once more before walking back the way he came, quickly disappearing into the brush just as the sun decided to set. Dean listened to the rustling of him moving until he couldn’t hear it anymore, and he stood from his stump, staring off in the direction in which the Alpha disappeared, back toward the compound. 

Dean went back out the way he came too, coming out along the path that twisted around the hill where Alpha’s cabin sat. Dean looked up that hill as he walked, noting the flickering candle in the window and, just as he was about to look away, he saw movement of shadows just inside the cabin. He hadn’t been up to the cabin since the first day he arrived, and he was fairly sure he hadn’t seen Castiel physically inside it since then, either. He tended to spend a lot of time with his people. Except, apparently, when Dean needed him.

He knew he was being unreasonable, that Castiel had been nothing but welcoming and accommodating to him, but it was twice now that Castiel had promised to visit with him and hadn’t, and it hurt more coming from him than it would anyone else. Before Dean realized what he was doing, he’d steeled himself and started trudging up the snow-covered hill, hands in fists by his sides. 

He reached the top and knocked on the door before he could stop himself, even with every instinct in his mind and body telling him otherwise. He barely waited a full five seconds before knocking again, more urgent this time, rattling the door on its hinges.

There was light shuffling on the other side of the door before it finally swung open, and a very bewildered Castiel stood on the other side. His hair was sticking up in all directions like he’d just woken up, and his clothes were askew, the already-relaxed collar of his shirt looked like it’d been stretched further and was hanging halfway off his shoulder and chest area. He had dark circles under his eyes and a healthy beard with a few extra grays. The necklaces Dean had seen him wear previously had all been removed, no sign of them ever having been there.

“Dean? What-”

“You said you’d come check on me,” Dean forced out, his face burning with anger and embarrassment. He didn’t even stop think about what he was doing,  _ yelling _ at his Alpha while smelling like another. Even Dean could smell the wolf on him. 

“I was-it was awful,” he spat out, fists clenched at his sides. “And you just-just left me there. I  _ could _ have died. And I know that it’s my choice not to take an Alpha or a knot, and I’ve accepted that each heat could be my last but-“ he took a breath, fangs poking out of his lips, “you could at least pretend to care. You check your other Omegas, I  _ know  _ you do. You spend time with everyone except me, and I’m sorry I’m so-so fucked up, but I don’t deserve to die like that.” 

Castiel let out a breath he’d been holding and leaned forward, reaching up to grip the outside of his door frame, the whites of his knuckles showing. He licked his lips and his eyes fell on the necklace around Dean’s neck, prompting a minimal head tilt before traveling further down, eyes resting on the newly bandaged hand that Missouri had chided him for earlier. His nostrils flared when he took a breath and he closed his eyes, pushing himself back a little and shaking his head.

“Dean, I-” 

He looked up at him and shook his head again marginally, gripping the door tightly. “Yes, I do check on my Omegas in heat. But…” he sighed and his eyes scanned the area behind Dean. “I’m sorry. I owe you an explanation. Please, come in.” He stepped back and Dean took a hesitant step forward, but Castiel held up a hand.

“Wait.”

Dean froze as Castiel leaned forward again and scented him, closing his eyes and keeping his hand firmly on the door. He straightened and ran a hand slowly over his face, rubbing at his eyes and pulling at his bottom lip. He stood there a moment with his eyes closed, cleared his throat, and gave an affirming nod.

“Okay. Yes. Come on in, and I will...try to explain the best I can.”

Dean hesitated and looked around the large cabin, almost exactly the same as it was when he arrived weeks ago. He stood aside as Castiel closed the door and rubbed his palms on his jeans, stepping into the living area. 

His rage still pulsed, but the reality of what he did was sinking in. He’d charged up, pounded on the door, and shouted at his Alpha like some pup throwing a tantrum. It was mortifying and stupid, and Dean couldn’t believe the nerve he had to do such a thing. 

Not to mention he wreaked of another Alpha. Granted it was wolf, but a scent was still a scent. 

Castiel walked past him stiffly and ran a hand back through his hair, letting it come to rest on his neck. He stood that way while Dean looked around, and finally Castiel looked over at him, then waved a hand at the futon and back down at the pillows.

“Please, have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. All that.”

Dean frowned. Sure, Castiel wasn’t the typical Alpha, but even now he seemed out of character for himself. He seemed on edge, maybe twitchy, if twitchy was a mental instead of physical state. He watched him walk back over to the cupboard in the corner and pull out that gold box again, and suddenly even the idea of Castiel getting high again with him in the room is offensive, and Dean growls a little deep in his chest.

He could tell Castiel noticed because his shoulders stiffened, but he took his time and didn’t bother turning back to Dean in a hurry. When he finally did, he just eyed Dean on the way to his pillow in the middle of the room.

“Easy, Omega.” Castiel commanded gently, and Dean hated that he still felt compelled to listen to him, that familiar need to please. Castiel lit the joint and got comfortable on his giant pillow, crossing his legs. Dean sat a few feet away, on the futon, which seemed to make Castiel relax visibly.

“I know I owe you an explanation,” Castiel started, blowing smoke out of his nose. “But I must warn you, I can’t think of any way for me to do that without sounding... indelicate.” He pressed his lips together and looked up at Dean with his eyes turned down in the corners, looking much too weary for an Alpha responsible for well over one hundred Betas and Omegas.

Dean crossed his arms and bit down on his lip, watching the smoke drift up and dissipate. Pretty soon the whole room would be foggy with the stuff. 

“Okay, fine,” Dean muttered, a knee bouncing up and down. “Don’t care if you’re...indelicate,” he said slowly, testing the word on his tongue. 

Castiel dropped his head and watched as he rolled the joint around his fingers. He scrubbed his hands down his face again, then smoothed down his short beard.

“Yes, I do make a habit of going to check on my Omegas during their heats.” Castiel looked at him, taking a breath. “But you see, Dean, other Omegas? They don’t  _ smell _ the way you do.”

Dean’s shoulders sagged and he felt the all too familiar sting of rejection once again. So he smelled bad. Of course he did. He was broken inside. Alpha could sense that and what Alpha would want that in an Omega. 

“Oh,” was all Dean said, his fingers digging into his arms. He wanted to leave. Didn’t want to hear the rest. He wanted to find his wolf and just stay with him, leave this pack and its Alpha behind. 

“You’re upset,” Castiel observed, frowning. “I’m sorry. I...I told you it would sound indelicate.” 

He tapped a finger against the joint and raised it to his lips, chancing a look up at Dean.

Dean waved him off and stood, feeling defensive and vulnerable and so damn  _ stupid _ , and he hated his body and its way of ruining even the simplest forms of happiness. 

“It’s fine,” he said roughly. “You don’t like my smell. Can’t blame you. I’ll just…” Dean shrugged and ducked his head. “I’ll just leave.” 

Castiel’s eyes widened and his head snapped up. “What? Dean, no…” he shook his head and rubbed at his eyes again, dropping the joint in his makeshift ashtray. He opened his tired and bloodshot eyes and looked back up. “What I  _ meant _ was, your scent...I...I didn’t trust myself around you. And not because I  _ disliked  _ it.”

Dean blinked down at Castiel. 

Oh.  _ Oh _ . 

He sucked in a breath and a memory, a moment from his heat, came to mind. He could still hear the howling, and the thoughts that raced through his head, the smell that was in the air and dominated over the scent of his heat. He remembered thinking,  _ knowing _ , his Alpha was in rut and how desperately he’d wanted to get to him. 

Dean swallowed and fell back onto the futon, breath leaving his lungs in a  _ whoosh _ . He’d caused Alpha to go into rut with his heat. Either that, or the two had just happened to coincide. 

He looked up at Castiel, noting the disheveled appearance and lightly flushed skin. He also noticed for the first time the hint of ink, cutting across tan skin and disappearing underneath his shirt. 

“You seem surprised.” Castiel held the joint between two fingers, his forearms laying across his thighs. He huffed a humorless laugh and looked down, shaking his head. “It’s been a long time since an Omega’s smell has affected me that way. I’ll admit I wasn’t prepared for my reaction. I wanted to be near you, to help you, but I didn’t trust myself. And your scent, it’s...it’s  _ everywhere _ . It’s maddening.” He licked his lips and drew in a breath, jaw clenching as he let it back out. “I wanted to come to you, Dean. I just couldn’t.”

Dean was in shock. The mere idea of Castiel responding to his heat in any way was surprising enough, but to cause a rut…

It was...exciting and scary, to know that an Alpha in a full rut was just a few doors down from him. Ruts were usually much shorter than heats, but rougher-especially for the Omega. Alphas lost what little control they had and went on a breeding frenzy. 

Dean looked at Castiel with a newfound respect, and just a little more fear (and, admittedly, some arousal), because Castiel had held himself in check. Something that was supposed to be impossible. 

“I...don’t know what to say,” Dean muttered, shaking his head. He silently wondered about Charlie. Castiel had said no other Omega’s smell affected him like that. Wouldn’t his mate’s do so? 

Dean frowned and picked at his jeans. “I wouldn't think an Alpha would, um...want me.” 

“Well, pardon me for saying so, but that’s a ludicrous assumption,” Castiel said sternly, picking the joint back up and relighting it. “I should have spoken to you about it sooner, and for that I offer you my sincerest apologies. You were afraid and skittish I knew it would only frighten you more. I didn’t know how to approach it.”

Dean nodded. He could understand that. He most likely would have freaked out at first, snarling and snapping before giving Castiel a chance to explain. 

He blinked and fiddled with the chain around his neck, then abruptly remembered why he had it on in the first place. Dean took it off and cleared his throat. “Uh, Rory gave me this during...well, anyway. I’m sorry. I was out of it and didn’t really tell her no.” He placed it on the floor between them and rubbed at his now naked neck. “She said it was her mom’s. I didn’t mean to take it from your mate.”

Castiel exhaled and frowned at the necklace, a small smile slowly replacing it. He hummed and scratched at his cheek.

“If Aurora gave it to you, she must want you to have it,” Castiel said simply. “You should keep it.”

Dean poked at the silver bullet and shook his head. “No, I...Charlie would be upset. I don’t want to cross a line...bad enough you reacted to another Omega’s heat.” 

Castiel’s face puzzled. He opened his mouth to speak and froze that way, and Dean could practically see the wheels turning. 

“Dean, Charlie...I- I’m not…” he huffed and looked down at the necklace again, chewing his bottom lip. “The necklace isn’t Charlie’s, Dean. And I think you should keep it. I  _ want _ you to keep it.”

Dean’s eyes widened and he snapped his head up, looking intensely at Castiel. There was no lie on his face, though it was guarded with secrets that Dean was becoming more desperate to know. 

“I thought…” He trailed off, confusion slowly fading as he realized all his assumptions were wrong. “Charlie isn’t Rory’s mom,” he said simply, licking his lips. He picked up the necklace, running the chain through his fingers. “And you..you want me to keep this.” Dean looked Castiel in the eye, holding his breath. 

“Yes.” 

Dean waited, but Castiel didn’t elaborate. He just sat there watching him, only moving to distinguish the joint in the ashtray and rest his hands back on his thighs, fingers splayed across.

Dean hesitated, then slowly pulled the necklace back over his head. It came to a rest on his neck, the silver gleaming from the candlelight. He ran his finger over the smooth metal then dropped his hand, not sure what Castiel just asked of him and what he incidentally had agreed to. 

“I suppose Aurora filled you in on the story behind it.”

Dean nodded, meeting Castiel’s hard gaze. “Yes. Yeah, she said your…” he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘mate’ again, although he desperately wanted to ask about her. “Uh. She said it was for protection? Or something?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Sorry, I was, uh. Pretty out of it.”

Castiel licked his lips and his eyes dropped to the necklace. “For grounding, mostly. There are times, because of my Alpha nature, that it’s easy to forget that I’m still human. Times that I feel...like a livewire. Or a comet. Trying to keep up with myself, body moving faster than brain. That helped to remind me who I am.” 

“And she,” he looked back up into Dean’s eyes and continued, his voice breaking a little. “She, um. I usually didn’t need it, cause she was that for me. Kept me human, you know?”

Dean didn’t respond, just stared into endless blue eyes.

“Anyway,” he waved a hand and looked down, clearing his throat. “You should keep it now. Because...I don’t know. Being around you kind of makes me feel the same way.”

Dean pressed his fingers around the bullet again and looked down, turning it over slowly. It smelled like metal, but it also smelled like Castiel. It was well taken care of, despite how old it must be. Dean hoped he could take care of it, too. 

“I’m...sorry,” he murmured softly, taking a deep breath and looking back up at the Alpha. He didn’t miss the use of the word ‘was’ and could surmise that, for whatever reason, this mate was gone. And in his experience, there was really only one way to break an Alpha’s bond with his mate. “For...whatever happened to her.” 

“It was nobody's fault,” Castiel said finally, looking away to a window overlooking the compound. “But thank you.”

He stood and Dean’s eyes followed the graceful twist and turns of his body as he stretched, joints popping. He looked at Dean and his arm twitched at his side, and for a second Dean thought he may come to him, but he didn't. 

“I'm truly sorry I didn't come speak to you sooner,” he said, feet rooted firmly in place. 

Dean had to admit that he admired Castiel’s resolve. He’d never seen such control in an Alpha. They were wild, dominating, aggressive, everything an Omega wasn’t. If it wasn’t Castiel’s strong scent- stronger than any other’s he’s smelled- and his intense gaze, strong stance...Dean wouldn’t believe him to be Alpha. He just didn’t act like one. 

“It’s... okay,” Dean said, and lowered his gaze. With Castiel standing over him, it felt natural to submit. He did it almost without thought. “I shouldn’t have...I should have known you’d have a reason.” 

“I don't breed with my Omegas, Dean,” Castiel relaxed his stance, lowering his shoulders. “Many of them-  _ most  _ of them- come from situations similar to yours. They're afraid, and they're looking for a place to belong, and unfortunately this world is not understanding enough to meet their needs. The world is broken. I would do them no favors by asking them to submit to me. What I want doesn't matter. Not here. Nor do I assume that's what any of my Omegas want from me.”

Dean glanced away awkwardly at that and kept his mouth firmly shut. Part of him wanted to tell Castiel how much he thought about him, how much he  _ wanted  _ to submit even if that scared the hell out of him, how often his face came up during a heat...

In all honesty, Dean didn’t know what he really wanted. He felt as if his body, mind, and heart were all battling each other. He wished it was simpler. Wished he could function normally and didn’t have all these ugly scars, both inside and out. He wished he could just  _ be _ without the fear and rejection. 

Dean stood up from the futon and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re good with them,” he paused, “ _ Us _ . Sorry, I…” He gestured at the door a bit sheepishly. “Don’t know what I was thinking when I came pounding up here. I just-” Dean cut himself off with wave. “Doesn’t matter.”

He walked to the door, ready to forget this ever happened. “Thank you for talking to me,” Dean said after a pause, hand on the knob. With that, he nodded at Castiel and slipped out through the door, shutting it behind him.

It was completely dark out, and Dean could only see shadows of figures moving about outside of some of the cabins from the top of the hill. It must be peaceful for Castiel at night, to look out at the little camp and know that they were all safe, all warm and happy and thriving because of him. To give to those who could never have what he was born having.

He trudged down the hill, kicking snow out of his path. Candles were going out of windows, a pup crying in one of the far cabins on the right, an Omega in heat moaning through her pains somewhere close by. His cabin looked less inviting when it came into view, the comfort of Castiel’s presence or even his wolf’s soft fur a much better alternative. 

He was passing Donna and Jody’s cabin when he heard a shrill whisper come from its porch, and Aurora stood up looking over the newly repaired fence. “Dean!”

Dean squinted at her and stopped, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “What are you doin’ out here alone at night?”

“Waitin’ to see if you’d come home.”

“Why?”

She looked down and shrugged, scuffing her shoe against the wood. “‘Cause I like you. And cause Papa was really upset, and cause I had to go stay with Missouri and Charlie and he said I couldn’t be with him. And if you came home, I’d know you were okay, and I’d know Papa would be okay, too.”

Dean sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, something that was beginning to become a habit. He knew he shouldn’t, but he felt guilty that Rory had to be away from her father because his friggin’ heat triggered a rut.

“Well,” he said gruffly. “I’m home now. Sure your dad is waiting for you.” He jerked his head in the direction of Alpha’s cabin. “Go on before he starts worrying. Gettin’ dark.” 

He started to leave and sighed when he heard her little feet running after him. He stopped and smirked when she ran into his leg.

“ _ Stop doing that! _ ” She huffed, picking herself up from the snow. 

Dean turned and looked down at her unapologetically. “Stop following me, then.”

He chuckled when she rolled her eyes, then frowned slightly. “Are you...better?” Dean asked, looking her over carefully. “You were sick. Shouldn’t be out here in the cold if you’re still sick.”

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Papa just worries.” She narrowed her eyes. “Are  _ you  _ better?”

Another eyebrow raised. Dean was pretty sure he was the adult here, but this girl was acting like she was his mother. She even had the look down.

“Yes,” he said simply. Not exactly a lie. Not the whole truth either. “Your Papa is right to worry. Especially since his pup seems to wander around at all hours of the night.”

“He says I’m spirited,” she said smartly, walking past him toward his porch. “And that I don’t get it from him.”

Dean followed after her and clicked his tongue when she plopped down in a chair on the porch. “That’s one word for it,” he grumbled, sitting down next to her. He had a feeling this was going to become a  _ thing _ for them. 

“I’ll make you like me, Dean,” Rory said confidently, glaring over at him. “Cause you like my Papa, and if you like my Papa you have to like me, too.”

Dean glanced over at her. “What makes you think I like your Papa?” he asked, crossing his ankles. 

“Well you do, don’t you?”

Dean shrugged and looked out over the cabins across from his. “Guess so,” he muttered and rubbed at his cheek before his hand found the necklace under his shirt. “Kinda weird.” He glanced at Rory. “And you  _ did _ get that from him.”

Rory put her arms up on the armrests and laid her head back against the chair. “Yeah, well. He likes you, too.”

Dean’s eyes snapped to her, but he quickly schooled his expression. He wouldn’t read too much into that. Pups say things. 

“Glad you’re feeling better,” Dean said after a minute or two of silence. “Meant to come see you, but…” He was too busy rubbing all over a wolf. “Alpha was really worried.”

“It’s okay. He worries about everything. He always worries. About me, about everyone else.” She heaved a big sigh. “Missouri says it’s cause he cares.”

She kicked her feet against the chair. Suddenly she turned to look at him, cocking her head. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Dean frowned down at his lap. “Don’t know,” he said, licking his lips, an image of his mom coming to mind. It was fuzzy, grainy, like an old photo. He barely remembered her now. “Maybe. Parents, uh, left when I was young.”

“I’m sorry.”

Dean shrugged.

“I wish I had brothers or sisters, like how Max and Alicia have each other.”

Dean said nothing.

Rory pushed herself up out of her chair and reached over, patting Dean’s hand. She stood up straight and looked up the hill, chewing her lip. “I guess I should go.”

Dean followed her gaze. Alpha’s cabin looked warm, inviting. Much more appealing than his. “Probably,” he nodded, glancing back at her. “Getting cold. He’d be upset if you got sick again.”

She sighed and hopped off the porch, crunching through the snow in the front of Dean’s cabin. “Bye, Dean,” she said, almost as an afterthought. He watched her all the way up the hill, skipping at some points, stopping to throw a stick or a rock, and finally disappearing in the door at the top of the hill.


	6. Chapter 6

“How does this feel, honey?”

Missouri pressed down on his abdomen and Dean tensed, ready for the sharp pain, but he hardly felt anything at all. 

“Little sensitive,” Dean said, blinking down at her hands. “But...no pain.”

Missouri smiled and took her hands away. “Good. With some time, that should go away, too. You’re making progress, sugar. Give me a smile.” 

Dean managed a small one and she huffed a laugh, shaking her head. She patted his cheek and stood. “I guess that’s as good as I’m gonna get, huh?” 

Dean nodded solemnly and she laughed again. 

“Well. We’ve gotten your weight up a couple more pounds, and we’ve cleared up your pain. You’re looking more like a regular healthy adult now. How does it feel?”

Dean smirked and shrugged. “Weird. Like it isn’t real.”

Missouri chuckled and gave him a quick hug. “So what now? Are you gonna leave us or are you gonna stay? Can’t tell you how many babies I’ve treated in here that turn around and leave once they’re healthy.”

“Leave the compound?” Dean frowned, trying to imagine a reason why anyone would rather be out there than in here.

“A lot of ‘em still didn’t like the idea of living under an Alpha. Despite the fact that Castiel is not your typical Alpha.” She sighed and sat down on a stool. 

Dean idly scratched at his neck and looked out the window. He could understand that, but if they had the same experience he’s had here...well, he couldn’t imagine leaving this and going back to where he’d been.  _ What _ he’d been, which was an Omega half starved and living on the edge of survival. 

“Well, I’m not leaving,” Dean said firmly, nodding to himself. “Alpha...he isn’t bad. Weird, but…” He shrugged and looked back at Missouri. “I’d pick him over out there any day.” 

“Weird,” Missouri repeated, looking at Dean out of the corner of her eye. “That’s one word for it, I suppose.” She tapped him on his leg and stood. “Alright, you’re all done, baby. Should be awhile ‘fore you have to come see me again.”

Dean actually initiated the hug with her before he left the medic cabin. He stopped outside and looked around at the people milling about, working or watching pups. Donna waved from down the way and Dean waved back just in time for Jody to come out and wave too, and he blushed slightly and put his hands in his pockets.

“Mr. Popular now, cher?” 

Dean turned to find Benny smiling a little too smugly and leaning up against the porch of the medic cabin. Dean started to shake his head, but Benny waved his hand as he started walking toward him. 

“Now, now, don’t deny it,” Benny teased. “Knew there was a social butterfly in there somewhere.” 

Dean blushed again and Benny chuckled as he came to stand next to him. 

“Ah, I’m only teasin’,” Benny patted him on the shoulder. “ ‘S good though, cher. Real good. Maybe one day we can get full sentences out of you?” 

Dean raised a brow defiantly and jutted out his chin, feeling every bit the pup he was acting like. 

Benny shook his head with a smile and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Listen, Dean. Gotta job for you, if you want it.” 

Dean perked up and nodded, but Benny held up a hand. 

“Before you agree,” the Beta warned, “It’s at Alpha’s cabin. For all his talents, Castiel isn’t all that handy. And he’s got some work that needs doing and it’s been piling up. Old man hates asking for help.”

Dean chewed his lip and looked up at the cabin on the hill, quiet and unassuming. Maybe it would be nice, being able to spend time around Alpha without being expected to actually talk to him. He was fairly certain that he could be around him when not in heat and pass as a functioning member of society. Still, the idea of being in such close proximity to an Alpha whose rut had been triggered by Dean’s heat...it was terrifying, but also unrightfully exhilarating.

“So waddaya say?”

Dean took a sharp breath in through his nose and tore his eyes away from the cabin, looking over at Benny and nodding. “Yeah. Yes. I can do that.”

“Well, you don’t know what it is yet.” Benny grinned and eyed him suspiciously.

Dean blushed hard and looked down, shrugging his shoulders. “Whatever it is, I can do it.”

“Alright.” Benny crossed his arms over his chest. “Few slats on the porch are busted, the chimney needs cleanin’. He said not to ask but he has some wood needs splittin’ too. He got behind when...uh.” He cleared his throat and waved a hand. “Anyway, he doesn’t have much so if you got some time, maybe some of that, too. Should I have him leave when you’re there?”

Dean didn’t have to look at him to know he was grinning.

“ _ No _ ,” Dean said somewhat defensively. “I’ll be fine.”

Benny nodded, still grinning, and adjusted the hat on his head. “Alright, well, you can go up whenever you’re ready. Alpha will be expecting you. Go on and get some tools.” 

After 30 minutes of piddling in the tool shed, Dean finally decided he’d procrastinated enough and slowly climbed up the hill. He stood at the door, knowing last time he was here was a mere two days ago and he’d yelled at the man. 

Dean sighed, adjusted the tool box in his hand, and knocked quietly. He almost hoped Castiel wasn’t home, but also secretly wanted him to be. It was confusing and giving him a headache. 

Castiel opened the door, his eyes widening a little when they landed on Dean. He cleared his throat and poked his head out the door, looking around behind him. 

“Benny sent you alone? Thought he was coming.”

Dean shrugged, something inside the toolbox clattering. Silence stretched between the two of them and Castiel pursed his lips but stepped back, gesturing inside the cabin.

“Come in, please, Dean.”

Dean hesitated another few seconds before walking past Castiel, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end when he was bombarded with his scent just inside the door. Of course he’d smelled it just two days ago, and it was ever-present in the camp, but to smell it up close and personal was something else entirely. He could even still smell hints of his leftover rut, instinctual pleasure building in his belly, and he felt the backs of his ears redden and Castiel’s eyes on him, so he coughed loudly to clear his throat.

“So, uh. Where do you want me first?” Castiel opened his mouth and closed it again, then frowned and cocked his head. Dean flushed and shook his head. “No, no, I just, I mean-”

Castiel laughed and waved a hand. “It’s okay. You know, I told Benny I could take care of this myself. No need to bother you.”

Dean shrugged his shoulders, his cheeks still hot. “‘S fine.”

Castiel looked at him a long time and his arm twitched at his side. “I guess the chimney is the most important. I was able to clean a little, but my shoulders are too broad to get the rest. Would be a shame for the place to burn down.” He slid a hand across his own chest absently, and Dean got a better look at one of the tattoos, which looked to be two wolves, one black and one white, and a moon and sun.

Dean swallowed and looked away, or else he would start drooling. It really wasn’t fair. The guy should  _ not _ look that good for his age. And it didn’t help his Omega brain was  _ screaming _ at him to bend over and present every time he saw the Alpha. 

“Chimney, right,” he nodded and turned to walk over to it. He knelt, put his toolbox down, and squinted up the shoot. It was dark, of course, and he felt stupid for even trying to see up there without a light. 

Grumbling to himself, Dean dug for his flashlight (rarely used, as batteries were hard to come by), and flicked it on. He looked up again and hummed, glancing over his shoulder with a somewhat accusing expression. 

“When’s the last time you cleaned this?” He asked, raising a knowing brow. 

“Ah, let's see. Just before Rory’s third birthday, when I had approximately twenty pups in here at once. So...almost three years ago.” Castiel gave him a guilty smile and plopped down on one of his pillows. 

Dean scowled and looked back up into the chimney as he heard Castiel light up one of his joints. 

“I can help you, you know. I'm not as incapable of manual labor as Benny thinks I am.”

“So then why did he send me up here to do jobs that needed to be done years ago?” The words were out of Dean’s mouth before he could stop them, but he turned back to Castiel with a cocked brow anyway.

Castiel smiled and took a pull off the joint. “I never said I was  _ good _ at it.”

“Obviously,” Dean snorted as he stood. “Any old sheets I can lay down? Gonna get messy.” He paused and blushed again, because apparently he can’t say anything around this guy without it sounding sexual. 

Castiel smirked slowly at him and gestured to a small closet. “Help yourself,” he said, taking a drag. 

Dean yanked the door open a little harder than necessary, grabbed some worn sheets, and laid them out on the floor by the chimney. Part of him wanted to remove his shirt, but there was no way he was taking anything off around Alpha. He hated his scars and didn’t want Castiel to see them. 

“Anything I can do to help?”

Castiel’s voice came from just behind him when he spoke again, and Dean jumped a little and turned to face him. He cleared his throat and looked down, passing him the flashlight in his hand.

“Okay.” Castiel snorted a laugh and stuck the joint between his lips, adjusting the collar of his shirt and taking the flashlight from Dean. He knelt to the floor and shone the flashlight up the chimney, looking up at Dean. The joint bobbed between his lips as he spoke. “This good?”

Dean licked his lips and nodded, trying not to breathe through his nose too much.  Castiel was close and his scent was so  _ good _ . 

He looked up at the shoot closely, chewing his lip thoughtfully. He didn’t want to have to climb onto the roof. With all the snow and ice, it wouldn’t be very stable. 

“Gonna be  _ very messy,”  _ Dean softly corrected himself as he grabbed the chimney sweep Benny had given him. “Hold your breath,” he told Castiel before he began scraping at the sides. 

Castiel frowned and pulled the joint from his lips, holding it away from the falling ash. He shook some of it off the flashlight and ignored the rest that fell on his skin and clothes. 

“Is this something that you enjoy?” Castiel asked after several minutes of silence. “Odd jobs, I mean? Keeping busy?”

Dean coughed as some ash somehow got in his nose. He huffed and rubbed at it with annoyance. “Guess so,” Dean said, going back to scraping and getting them more filthy by the second. “Lived on my own so long, so there was always something that needed doin’. Didn’t have free time. And…” he shrugged shyly, “don’t wanna mooch off ya. Need to pull my weight.”

Castiel hummed and Dean could hear him inhaling more of the wretched-smelling smoke below him. 

“Well. Idle hands are the devil’s playthings and all that.” Dean glanced down at him and Castiel shrugged lazily. “I get it. Always needing something to do. But you don’t need to feel like you’re taking advantage, or that you need to complete a particular quota of labor here to feel welcome. You’re _ healing _ here.”

Dean shrugged silently and ducked his head as more ash fell from above. He sneezed and pushed further up, not thinking about how Castiel was basically in between his legs now. The flashlight offered little light and Dean prayed that he wouldn’t get a spider on his face. Because he  _ will  _ scream like a little girl. 

“Fucking hate spiders,” he muttered to himself, involuntarily shuddering. 

“You know, you're quite large for an Omega,” Castiel said off-handedly, and Dean supposed it was easy to say just anything like that if you had something logically to blame it on. 

Dean pulled back and looked at him, eyeing the joint. “What?”

Castiel smiled and shrugged. “Just an observation.  I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Dean blinked a few times then looked up as he continued to scrape. “Yeah, well,” he snorted, ash flying up his nose again. “You’re scrawny for an Alpha.” He paused and looked back down, smirking. “ _ Just an observation. _ ”

“Ouch,” Castiel snickered and ran his tongue over his bottom lip, the flashlight shaking a little with his laugh. He stopped and frowned, looking up at Dean's form. “You really think I'm scrawny?”

Dean paused, swallowed, and was glad Castiel couldn’t really see his face as he felt it heat up. “Not really,” he mumbled with a small shrug. “Just...not as bulky as most.” He chewed his lip as he thought of how to phrase it without sounding completely illiterate. “Like...slim. But with muscle.” He cleared his throat and started scraping again, beyond mortified because now Castiel would know he’d been  _ looking _ . 

Castiel chuckled and the only sound for awhile after that was the scraping of the tool against the wall. 

“Rory said she spoke with you last night.” He heard Castiel inhale softly, followed by his exhale. 

Dean nodded mutely, holding his breath as more ash fell on top of his head. Jesus, he was going to be disgusting after this was done. 

“Yeah,” he said, releasing some air and shaking his head to relieve some of the dirt that was bringing to cake on. “Apparently you like me. And she won’t rest until I like her.” 

“That little  _ snake _ ,” Castiel exclaimed incredulously. His clicked his tongue. “And we just had a talk about promises and how important they are.”

“May wanna go over that again,” Dean snorted, then regretted it as more ash flew up his nose. He looked down at Castiel and cocked an eyebrow. “You like everyone, though. Figure you wouldn’t let someone stay here if you didn’t like them.” 

“That's true,” he held the flashlight by his head and a slow smile spread across his face, fangs poking out slightly. “Or if they don't like her.” His smile faded and Dean tensed, but Castiel didn't look angry. 

“You're not used to being around pups, are you?”

Dean was silent for a long while, seemingly focused on the loosening of ash and dirt, his muscles tense. 

“No,” he said curtly. “Difficult. Being around them.” Dean didn’t elaborate and wasn’t planning on it as he pushed himself up further. The ash wasn’t as bad up there, but even so three years worth is a lot. 

“I can't imagine what your life must have been before, Dean. I'm so sorry.”

And what the fuck does he even say to that? Dean grunted and concentrated his effort on a very specific spot on the brick, scrubbing so hard his arm ached. He finished the job in virtual silence over the next hour, and by the time he came down they were both covered in ash.

“Why don't you take a break?” Castiel asked when Dean mumbled something about getting to work on the porch slats. “You don't have to push yourself so hard.”

Dean pressed his tongue against the back of his teeth, hands on his hips, as he surveyed the extent of the mess he’d made on himself and the rest of the place. Luckily, the sheets had caught most of the ash, but he and Castiel were absolutely covered. Maybe a little break to wash up was a good idea.

“Yeah, okay,” he rubbed at his neck and looked over at Castiel. “Can I, um...wash up a bit? Don’t wanna get ash all over your home…”

“Um. Yeah. Yes, I have a tub over there, we'll just have to fill it and I, um…” he looked around awkwardly, as if searching for the words to say. He cleared his throat. “I'll just do that and give you some privacy.”

Dean tugged at the edge of his shirt-which was filthy, too-and eyed the tiny bathroom. It was an old fashioned tub, but he could tell there was plumbing hooked up. Still, most of the electricity and plumbing was saved for the community cabins-the kitchen, the infirmary, the showers-and the gate. Dean was willing to bet Castiel didn’t use the tub too often, to save on resources.

“Look, we’ll just...you’re covered in it, too,” Dean began, astounded by what he was about to say, and plowing through it quickly. “No point in wasting hot water like that. Don’t gotta get naked. Just...wash our…” Dean gestured to their upper torsos. “Where most of it is anyway.”

Castiel looked back and forth between the bathroom and Dean and finally nodded, licking his lips quickly. 

“Okay. Okay, yeah.” He gestured to the bathroom, bowing his head. “Go ahead, I'll grab us some towels.”

Dean ducked into the bathroom and stood there awkwardly for a moment, his heart pumping wildly. It was stupid. Castiel had seen him naked during his first heat here, and he’d been covered in sweat and slick. And he wasn’t even getting naked. He was taking off shirt. Also, plenty of people had scars. And anyway, most of his were under the waistline. There was just a few on his hips and stomach. Not a big deal. He could do this. And Castiel probably wasn’t even attracted to-

“Dean?”

Dean jumped and turned, finding Castiel standing in the doorway with towels and a concerned expression. He coughed sheepishly and mumbled an apology to the Alpha before turning to get the water going. He hesitated then very quickly tugged his shirt off and tossed it somewhere on the floor. With his back to Castiel, he knew the Alpha could see the ragged claw marks across his lower back that disappeared into his jeans.

Castiel came up slowly behind him and moved around to his side, looking down at the water. He twisted the towels in his hands then sat them off to the side, and Dean could feel his eyes on him. 

“May I try something?” He asked softly, gesturing to Dean, the tips of his fingertips barely brushing his arm as he did so. 

Dean glanced down at his arm, at the long fingers stretched out towards him, and breathed deep. He took in that scent, the smell of ocean water and fire-such an odd mix, but it worked-and the waves of calm the Alpha was sending off. 

“Okay,” he said roughly, watching Castiel out of the corner of his eye.

Castiel pressed his lips together and moved slowly, likely for the sole benefit of Dean. He reached over and took a sponge from the edge of the tub and dipped it in the water, wringing it out. When he turned back to Dean he raised the sponge and his eyebrows in question. Dean took a deep breath but didn’t back away, and Castiel gently pressed it to his skin, dragging it along his collarbone. 

He looked up at Dean for a moment before doing it again on the other side, clearing the ash from his skin. 

“Is this okay?” he asks quietly, watching Dean carefully.

Dean twitched every time the sponge made contact, his blind fear to anything Alpha making his body think it was claws on his collarbone than a soft sponge. He nodded, though, and watched closely as Castiel dragged the sponge over the front of this neck. 

His hands came out to clasp in front of him, a self conscious reaction to hide the mean looking scars on his lower stomach. It was stupid to hide them, Dean knew that, but it was hard to break a lifetime habit.

“Try to relax, Omega,” Castiel whispered. “Try to trust me.”

Castiel met his eyes and dragged the sponge across Dean's chest, then down and inch and across again. When he made it down to the lower part of his stomach, he reached out and put his hand on Dean's. 

“Is this okay?” He asked again, and something about that made Dean feel a little better. 

“Yeah...yeah, ‘m okay,” Dean spoke quietly and shivered just a little when the sponge passed over a nipple. He shifted on his feet and looked down at the hand on his. Alpha was tan, even his fingers. He must spend a lot of time out in the sun. 

To give Castiel room, Dean slowly moved his hands and let them hang at his sides. He glared down at his stomach, the scars seeming to stand out starkly against his freckled skin. His stomach rose up then sank as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Some part of him noticed he was trembling.

He held his breath when he thought Castiel was going to dip lower and brush against his marred skin, but he stopped just before. 

“Can you tell me?” is all he said, his gaze bouncing from the scars back up to Dean’s eyes.

Dean started to shake his head, fists clenched at his sides as he fought to keep his weak legs from giving out. But he stopped himself and let his mind drift for a moment.

Castiel had opened himself up to Dean, albeit in few words, about his painful past. Losing a mate is devastating and he was surprised Alpha even survived it. And he certainly didn’t have to tell Dean anything and relive that pain. It was deeply personal and if Castiel could do it, then so could Dean. And after telling Missouri, he felt braver about it. She had been kind and understanding, hadn’t looked at him with pity but with motherly love. She had a high opinion of Castiel, trusted him. Dean thought, maybe, he could too.

“I, uh…” he started, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I was 15...I think. Maybe...maybe 14...I don’t-” Dean huffed and shook his head. “It was my third heat and I didn’t hide myself good enough. Too close to a camp. He f-found me.” He closed his eyes, then snapped them back open when the memory came back so fresh and painful he could hardly breathe. “Tried to fight him off, but he-I was too weak, small…” 

Dean looked down at his scars and swallowed. “Pinned me down, dug his claws in, and wouldn’t...he held me down for hours. I was young...heats didn’t last that long. He just kept going. Forced himself in…” Dean took a shuddering breath and didn’t even notice the tears running down his face. “Musta passed out. I dunno. Woke up, shredded, and he was gone.”

Castiel pressed a fingertip to one of the scars and traced it, moving to each one and doing the same. He looked back up and tossed the sponge back into the tub, taking Dean's face in his hands instead and brushing away tears with his thumbs. 

“You're safe now, Dean,” Castiel nodded, eyes never leaving Dean’s. “I'm going to protect you. I want you to trust me.”

Dean stared into those blue eyes, the bluest, and found sincerity. Warmth. Mystery, strength,  _ safety _ . The fingers on his skin were gentle, the tough so soft is barely there as they wiped away his tears. Alpha’s scent enveloped him, possessive yet comforting, soaking into his skin and clouding his senses until all he could think about was Castiel.

Dean leaned into the touch and lifted a hand, laying it on top of the Alpha’s and lightly tracing his knuckles. “You’ll protect me,” he repeated quietly, searching Castiel’s face. “You promise…?”

“I do,” Castiel said, one hand dropping to his chest, over his heart. “I promise.”

He sighed and pulled away gently, taking the sponge in hand. Dean let the weight of Cas’s words sink in as he finished wiping down his arms and torso, then he quickly wiped himself down. 

“Come here.” He held out a hand to Dean, who hesitantly took it, and Castiel let him back into the main living area and sat on the futon, pulling Dean down with him. He wrapped their hands in his other hand and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he met Dean’s eyes again. 

“We have a lot to learn about each other,” he said, tapping a finger against their hands. “Both of us. I’m not gonna force you, or push you, to do anything you don’t want to. But if you’re open with me, I can do that for you.”

Dean looked down at their joined hands and enjoyed the contrast of their skin. Castiel’s hands were rougher from years of work, but surprisingly soft. Dean could see strength in them. They were Alpha hands. Gentle enough to hold pups, deadly enough to defend his pack. 

“I can try,” Dean said quietly. “Not...not very good at the open thing. Not very good at  _ talking _ .” 

“That’s okay. If you promise me you’ll try, that’s good enough for me.” Castiel leaned back and draped an arm around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “I don’t really talk much about what happened, either. They know. Everyone knows. But we don’t talk about it. This will be good for me. And it’ll be good for Rory, because she deserves to know more.”

Dean felt entirely too hot for being in a cabin with no fire going in the middle of winter. Alpha’s arm was heavy and warm, and Dean was surprised the contact didn’t bother him. 

“Did she, um…” Dean licked his lips and blinked down at the silver bullet hanging off his neck. “Did Rory know her mom? Or…” He couldn’t say it. Childbirth was the cause of many Omega deaths. It was cruel irony that they were forced to go through heats their whole lives, mother nature’s way to get them pregnant, only for half of them to die giving birth. The world was rough for Omegas.

“No, she-” Castiel’s voice cracked and he swallowed hard. “Ah. It was just hours, after…” he shook his head. “Rory knows what happened, she understands. But she...I don’t talk about her, not really. I should tell her stories about her mom.”

Dean nodded and toyed with the necklace, thinking of the woman it used to belong to. “You should, but...only when you’re ready. Smart kid. She’ll understand.”

He inhaled deeply, unashamedly taking in more Alpha scent. Whatever. He could feel guilty later. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he murmured, the nickname slipping from his lips without thought. He wasn’t even sure where it came from, but Castiel  _ was _ a bit of a mouthful. “Can’t imagine what that was like. I don’t...uh, don’t really know what it’s like having a mate, but to lose one like that...must have been-” Dean stopped and shook his head. “Sorry. You don’t wanna hear all that.”

“I want to hear whatever you'll tell me,” Cas said sincerely. “I understand why you never wanted a mate. I know you think biology is telling you that you need to but you don't _ need  _ to do anything. Nothing you don't want to. Not ever again, not with me. I hope I can help you believe that.”

Dean frowned and shrugged, trying to be nonchalant (a fancy word he learned from Rory) but probably failing. “It will kill me eventually,” he said flatly. “Not a lot of Omegas survive heats without knots at my age.” He looked Cas in the eye, setting his jaw as his hands tightened under Castiel’s. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Cas repeated, rubbing the back of Dean’s hand. “We’ll figure it out.”

Dean highly doubted that, but didn’t say anything. He leaned back into Castiel’s hand and sighed. There was nothing to figure out. It was simple biology. Sooner or later, his luck would run out, and his heat would kill him. Without a knot and Alpha seed to soothe the fever, his body will give out.

Dean sighed again and rubbed at his face. “I should get back to it. Least get that porch fixed before I lose too much sunlight.” He glanced at Alpha and ducked his head slightly. “Thanks for...you know.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Dean,” Castiel reached up to ruffle some ash from Dean’s hair and sat back again, giving him a small smile. “It’s my job as your Alpha to help you. And on top of that, I do  _ like  _ you. A lot.”

Dean mumbled something incoherent under his breath, ears reddening, and stood. He rubbed more ash from his hair and retrieved his shirt from the bathroom, pulling it back on and grabbing his tool box. 

The next few hours were spent outside on the porch as Dean tore up old wood and replaced them with new boards. He worked in mostly silence, Cas watching from the window and occasionally poking his head out to check on him. 

On the fourth hour, Cas came out again and stood firmly. 

“You need to eat.” 

Dean grunted. “Almost done.” 

The Alpha didn’t move. “Don’t make me use my Alpha voice.” 

Dean paused and looked up. They glared at each other for a full minute before Dean sighed loudly and threw his hammer down. 

“Fine.” 

Once inside Dean sat and watched as Cas started a fire in his newly-cleaned chimney. He unwrapped a couple of pieces of fish that someone in the kitchen had skinned and rubbed them with oil and some spices before arranging them in a heavy black pot over the heat of the fire. He threw in a couple of small red potatoes, some carrots, and a little water to the pot. 

“Hell of a way for me to ask you to dinner,” Cas laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not the best cook or anything, but this is Rory’s favorite.”

Dean made himself comfortable on the futon (part of him still couldn’t believe he was in Alpha’s home) and shrugged. “Food is food,” he said, then sniffed at the air. “Smells like it will be good, though.” 

He rubbed at his hair and it was a small victory when his hand came away clean. He’d gotten most of it out while he was outside, but would still need a shower. 

“Didn’t do a lot of fancy cooking when I was on my own,” Dean muttered, running a finger over the seam of his jeans. “Just cared if it was edible.” 

Castiel crossed the room and sat on the far end of the futon, pulling a leg up with him. He eyed Dean curiously, watched him fidget over his clothes and his hair and pick at his nails. Cas leaned back against the wooden arm of the futon and tilted his head to the side. 

“I remember having to do that,” Cas said, frowning and looking out the window. “I’ve been spoiled having been here now for some time, but it wasn’t always like this.” He licked his lips and looked back to Dean. “You’ll never starve again, Dean. You have my word.”

Dean looked away and rubbed at his stomach, feeling the thin layer of fat he had now, the less protruding ribs. It was a strange thing to feel and he couldn’t stop poking at it sometimes. After so many years of bone, it was nice to have  _ squishy _ . 

“How do you keep them all fed?” Dean asked, turning back to Cas. “Donna showed me farms and...I guess there’s hunting parties, too. Still...so many here. Lotta packs out there struggling to feed themselves.” 

Cas shrugged. “The camp is fairly large. There’s plenty of hunting to be done here, plenty of fishing, and everyone helps out with the gardens. There’s an understanding we have here, where everyone knows that hard work and participation is the only thing that’s going to keep us all fed and thriving.” He clicked his tongue and looked out his window, off into the distance. “And Benny’s quite the experienced hunter. He takes a small group to hunt outside of the perimeter, for larger game, every couple of weeks. We just learn to ration it, to keep everyone fed until they can go out again. We stock up during the warmer months, when it’s safer to leave. We’ve learned preservation methods, salting meats and freezing vegetables. It’s really just...a fantastic group effort.”

“It’s impressive,” Dean said with a nod, running his hand up and down his arm. “Didn’t expect to eat so well when I came here.” He glanced at Cas then looked down at his lap, fingers twitching. “Didn’t expect a lot of things when I came here.”

He tugged at his shirt, grimacing when his hand came away with a dusting of ash. It’d be a miracle if he could clean this thing. Well, he’d worn an old one anyway when Benny had mentioned chimney cleaning. And this line of thought just goes to show how spoiled he is already. Cleaning his clothes had been the least of his concerns during the winter. Usually by now he was starving to death and eating anything he could get his hands on.

Cas pressed his lips together and got up without a word, disappearing to the other side of the room beside his bed. He opened a chest and started rifling around in it, finally pulling out a gray t-shirt and walking back over.

“Here,” he handed it to Dean, pointing to the shirt he was wearing. “Get that one off. I’ll send it down for washing later and have someone bring it back to you.”

Dean blushed but did as told, handing it to Cas and quickly pulling the new one on. It was loose on him-Cas really  _ was _ broad shouldered-and had something written on the front. Dean had no idea what it said, but figured it couldn’t be too bad if it was Alpha’s. It smelled like him, too, and Dean tried not to think of it as the Alpha marking him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “I’ll give it back tomorrow.”

Cas waved a hand as he sat back down, a little closer this time. “Please. Don’t worry about it. You only came with practically just the clothes on your back. Keep it.”

Dean looked down as he tugged at the hem of the shirt, Alpha’s eyes on him. He didn’t know what to say, or what to do, so he just avoided that soulful gaze, trying not to think about the fact that he could smell the smallest remnants of Castiel’s rut in the fabric of the shirt each time he moved.

“Please try to relax, Omega. You belong here. Don’t act so out of place.”

Dean shook his head and fisted the fabric of the shirt, which released even more of that faint rut smell. He shivered and breathed through his mouth. “I  _ am  _ out place,” he said with a rough voice. “I don’t think I’m ever to going to fit here. I’m not...I don’t know how to be in a pack. Don’t know how to be an Omega…”

“Let me ask you something,” Cas said, pulling both legs up on the futon with him and crossing them, facing Dean. “Do I act like the typical Alpha to you? Do I seem like the type of person these people would have expected to reign over a compound of this size?” He took a deep breath and his nostrils flared, then closed his eyes for a long moment and let it out. “Neither of us is what we are  _ ‘supposed’  _ to be. But that’s why we’re here, right? None of these people would fit anywhere outside of this camp. Imagine what kinds of lives all these people would be living out in the world. Omegas used for breeding and child-rearing, Betas doing all the manual labor, Alphas being forceful and cruel and taking what they want without fear of the ramifications. They’re all here because they couldn’t stand the thought of that kind of life, just like you. You fought to get here for the possibility of something greater. You biology means as much as you let it here.” Those blue eyes opened and fixed themselves on Dean again. “You have free will here, Dean. You are fully responsible for all the decisions you make for yourself. And everyone else here will respect them.”

Castiel made it all sound so easy, as if ignoring what his body was made to do was just a simple matter of will. Maybe for a Beta and Alpha it was, but a Omega’s biology was pretty cut and dry. 

Castiel huffed and rubbed his eyes roughly. “I just mean, you’re not your biology. You’re Dean. You’re you. I like  _ you.  _ Your scent excites my body, but  _ you  _ excite my mind. And your biology has nothing to do with that. And you’ll never be held to any expectations here because of your biology.”

Dean shuddered at the thought of exciting anyone’s body, especially Castiel’s. He remembered how desperate he was during his heat for Alpha’s knot. And his body thrummed now, knowing his scent could get the Alpha going and unsure if he found that exhilarating or terrifying.

“Why?” Dean asked suddenly, turning his eyes to Cas and pressing his lips together. “What’s so interesting? I’m just a torn up Omega who probably can’t even-” No, he wouldn’t tell Alpha. He couldn’t. Him knowing he was raped was bad enough, but the miscarriage and possibility of being barren was too much. “I-I can’t even read. Or write...I’m not smart, or funny, and barely talk. I’m too big, I’m... _ awkward _ .”

“You’re traumatized,” Castiel corrected, “you’ve spent your entire life believing that you had nothing to offer other than comfort and pleasure for Alphas. That your purpose was none other than a habitable womb. I’m  _ telling  _ you that it’s not the case.” Cas sighed and leaned forward, reaching out to pull Dean’s fidgeting hand away from the shirt. “You  _ are  _ smart, you just haven’t had the opportunity to prove it to yourself. You talk enough. You’re funny. You’re incredibly tough, and resilient. And I don’t know how you could think you’re  _ too big _ ...I love your size. You’re...infinitely beautiful.”

Dean’s mouth fell open and he felt his neck heat up, his mind grinding to an abrupt halt. Never,  _ never _ , had he’d been called beautiful. People said a lot of nasty things to Omegas. When your body produced gobs of slick and your hole opened up to whatever knot was nearby, it was easy to think of a few creative terms. But beautiful was never one of them, and Dean didn’t feel beautiful. He felt ugly and  _ wrong _ .

“You...you want me,” Dean murmured and it wasn’t a question. And he’d known it, at least physically. Hard to deny attraction when your heat sends an Alpha into rut. But he’d thought it was just his smell, which many were telling him was particularly strong and very nice. But Cas was here, having a conversation, and had yet to touch anything but his hands and face, and only in a purely comforting gesture.

“I don’t know how else I can stress that,” Cas laughed softly, threading their fingers together and rubbing his thumb against Dean’s. “Not that I haven’t noticed your scent, obviously. It...well, to be frank, it drives me mad. But you also smell familiar, and I’m...I wasn’t prepared for that. And then to spend time with you, to speak to you, I just...I’m very interested in you. I like you very much, Dean. I really do.”

Dean squirmed in his seat and swallowed with a jerk of his head. “I don’t...Cas, I don’t know if I can…” he growled at rubbed roughly at his face, “If I can  _ do _ ...things. Talking is fine...I’ll get better, maybe. But-but your ruts and...physical stuff, I just...I don’t know if I can satisfy those needs.” 

As much as it excited his stupid Omega hormones, just the thought Alpha seeing him naked had him panicking. To feel Alpha pin him down was both slick inducing and mildly nightmarish. And the worst of it was that Dean liked Castiel, wanted him, but his head was such a mess he couldn’t keep the arousal and fear from mixing. 

“I don’t need that from you, Dean.” Cas scooted closer and took his face in his hands again, for the second time that day, forcing Dean to look at him. “You aren’t required to satisfy anyone’s needs but your own. I would  _ love  _ to be able to do that with you. Like, really, love to. And if you decide that you want to, we can try. Move slowly, take baby steps, whatever you’re comfortable with. And if you decide that you’ll never be comfortable with any of it, that’s okay too.” He stroked his cheek with a thumb and gave him a small smile. “Dean, I haven’t been with anyone since I lost my mate. I never planned to again, before you came here. If you can’t do certain things, I’m perfectly okay with that. I just ask for your company. Potentially for your companionship.”

Dean looked for a lie, or a sign that was a dream. Some stupid fantasy he was making up. Maybe the whole camp was a dream, and he was out there dying and buried in snow, and his head was making this up to ease the death. 

But Alpha’s hands were warm, hot even, and his scent was  _ everywhere  _ and so thick Dean could almost taste it. And he could never dream up such deep, beautiful eyes. 

In a rare moment of complete comfort and feeling of safety, Dean leaned forward and rested his head on Castiel’s shoulder. A hand reached up to hold Alpha’s shirt as he breathed, nosing along Alpha’s neck, pulling in that beach bonfire smell and finally scenting him properly for the first time. 

Castiel slowly closed one hand over the one Dean had fisted into his shirt, the other coming up to rest on the back of Dean’s neck.

“You know, you’re already getting better,” he said softly, the sound of his deep voice rumbling through his chest. “Have you noticed? A month ago, you’d never have done this. You’re making progress, sweet Omega.”

Dean blushed so red he was sure it looked like a sunburn. He steadfastly ignored the skip of his heart at the endearment and hugged against Cas’s neck, unable to help the small purr that vibrated in his chest. The sound itself was foreign (what reason did he ever have to purr), and it was slightly embarrassing. 

“Suppose so,” Dean murmured grumpily. He knew this was a big step, but it all still felt too slow. The fact that it took this long just to  _ scent _ was ridiculous. 

Cas pulled his shirt off his shoulder a little, allowing Dean to nose against the skin, and he gently rubbed the back of Dean’s head until he was satisfied, his lungs and senses filled with Alpha’s warm, earthy scent. Cas’s hand on his head slid down to his neck when Dean pulled back a little.

“Do you mind? If I…?” Cas pressed his fingertips to Dean’s neck and Dean hesitated, but finally nodded. 

Cas shifted and leaned forward, but Dean didn’t incline his neck very far, afraid to leave himself that open and vulnerable. Cas worked around it, nosing gently in the crook of his neck and down his shoulder, breathing deeply. He finally pulled away, opening his eyes to reveal hardly any blue, the pupils dilated widely and fangs poking slightly out of his lips as he pressed his tongue to his top teeth, sending the nuances of Dean’s scent to his vomeronasal organ. Dean’s heart skipped a beat and he considered bailing, but Cas held a steady hand on his shoulder, and he shook his head marginally, closing his eyes again and breathing through his mouth. After a moment he opened them and they were mostly back to normal, and Dean felt himself relax a little.

Cas huffed and cleared his throat, a smile creeping across his face. “Wow.”

Dean ducked his head and fiddled with his shirt again, rubbing his thumb against the fabric and over the letters on the front. The sight of Alpha fangs and dark eyes still had his heart skipping, but the brief panic was fading quickly. Castiel had once again proven he was stronger than his desires and hadn’t even tried to come at Dean. 

“Um,” Dean mumbled, fingers brushing his neck. “What...what do I smell like?” He had always wanted to know, and the last Alpha that had gotten close enough Dean hadn’t exactly wanted to chat with. 

Castiel frowned and hummed. “Sweet, but not overly so. You know how it smells just after a Spring storm? Kind of like that.”

Dean nodded and smiled a bit. He loved storms (when he wasn’t caught in them). Other pups, when he met the few he came across, had always been afraid of the thunder and lightning. Dean loved the crackle, the roar, the vibrations. It was oddly comforting. 

He looked at Cas and leaned into his space just a little. Not touching, but close enough that it wasn’t an accident. He craved Alpha’s presence just as much as he feared it. 

“Yeah. Just after a storm, when the air is thick and heavy and the birds have just started chirping again. And raindrops cling to flowers and tree branches and the earth just feels...refreshed. You know? You’re the storm. But you’re also the calm after.” Cas sat back and put his hands in his lap. “You’re the best parts of both.”

He chuckled a little, shaking his head. “Now your heat, on the other hand. It was like being caught in the middle of the storm. And all you can do is get somewhere safe and wait for it to pass. And the storm is so beautiful and you so badly want to be out in the middle of it, but lightning is a real danger.” He looked up at Dean and smirked. “I don’t know if I could handle being struck.”

Dean looked down at his lap and chewed on his cheek. “Not sure I could handle it either,” he admitted. Though it was sort of...nice that his scent affected Alpha so much, when he’d previously thought he’d smelled so bad that Castiel was avoiding him. Dean frowned and wondered if Cas’s opinion of him would change if he ever knew about the pup that never was. 

Cas cocked his head. “How old did you say you were, Dean? Mid twenties?” Dean nodded and Cas hummed in response. “Young. My, um…” he licked his lips and narrowed his eyes at a point on Dean’s shirt. “Y- my mate. She was around your age when she passed.”

Dean watched him, but Cas pointedly looked away, staring at that same spot. 

“Can you tell me… Um. Maybe tell me a little about her?”

Cas looked up then, eyes a little wide. He smiled sadly and shook his head. “No, I can't. Not yet. But I will.”

Dean nodded understandably and shifted, crossing his legs to sit more comfortably. He listened to the sound of the fire crackling as it cooked their food and watched as the sky darkened outside. He felt nervous suddenly, being alone with Alpha at night. Night was intimate, private, and he realized the only one he’d shared his nights with (while not in heat) was the wolf. He wondered if the wolf would look for him tonight. 

“Anyway,” Cas broke the silence, letting his hands fall to his thighs with a _ slap.  _ He pushed himself up and crossed to the stove, removing the food from the fire and stoking it. 

They ate quietly, only a few words exchanged here and there. They watched the sun set as they finished their food, and it didn't escape Dean’s notice that Cas made a conscious effort not to touch him the entire time. 

“Rory will be heading home soon,” Cas said after a while. “I suppose we should call it a night.”

Dean had to hide his disappointment. He didn’t want to leave. Castiel’s company, his cabin, his scent, it was all very comforting. It made him feel safe and warm. But he didn’t want the awkwardness of Rory coming home to find them, as innocent as their dinner was. 

He sighed and helped Castiel clean up, and all too soon he found himself standing outside in the doorway. Dean felt awkward, not knowing what to do or say, and just stared at his feet while Castiel watched him amusedly. 

Castiel smiled and took his hand, pressing his thumb to Dean's palm. 

“Probably a good thing,” he muttered, huffing a laugh. “My willpower is only so strong.”

Dean swallowed and felt his ears redden again. Some morbid part of himself wanted to see what would happen, but his fear and anxiety won that battle pretty quickly. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, biting his lip. “Don’t mean to be so difficult…” 

“No, no, you’re not,” Cas insisted, holding up his hands. “But I’d rather be safe than sorry. I need to be able to trust myself around you. If it’s questionable I’m not going to push it.”

Dean pressed his tongue against the back of his teeth and nodded reluctantly. He gave Cas’s hand a lift squeeze before dropping it and turning to leave. He stepped off the porch, put his hands in his pockets, and slowly descended the hill. 

At the base, he paused and looked at the tree line. He thought about it, briefly, before pushing the idea away. He reeked of Alpha and he doubted the wolf would appreciate the smell. 

Once back inside his lonely cabin, Dean sighed and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and took in the day’s events. It was a lot to process and he wasn’t sure how to proceed from here. Castiel wanted him, but Dean didn’t know how to go about this or what to even do with that knowledge. 

Shaking himself, Dean grabbed some spare clothes and left his cabin for the showers. By now it should be empty and he can finally get all this ash off him. 

He bathed quickly, still half wet as he made his way back to his own cabin. He saw a few people walking around outside their cabins but none of them stopped him to talk. Once shut inside, he climbed into his bed and wrapped the blankets around his shoulders, looking out his far window into the dark of the woods. He wiped away a few stray water drops that dripped from his hair, which was getting much longer than he liked, and he vaguely wondered if there was anyone in the camp who could cut it for him. 

The scent of Alpha still clung to him, and Dean took a moment to marvel over that. They’d barely touched and his scent was lodged in his nostrils, permeating from the necklace, seeped into his pores. And his own scent even smelled slightly different now, or so it seemed, but it could have been the two clashing. Or colliding. However one chose to view it.

The smell of their scents mixing had Dean’s mind wandering as he started to drift off. Images faded in and out, him and Alpha sitting and talking then abruptly they were horizontal. Dean pinned beneath him, head thrown back, neck completely bared to huge fangs that grazed his skin as Alpha growled, those normally blue eyes almost black with lust.

Dean jerked awake, panting into the pillow and steadily grinding into his mattress. He froze and shuddered, tentatively feeling along his fangs with his tongue. They were fully extended, and his claws were tearing through the sheets. He withdrew them and rotated his jaw, then forced himself to lay on his back. His cock jutted out between his hips and he ignored it, focusing on the stars in the sky as he slowed his breathing.

It took over an hour to calm his body down and Dean finally fell back asleep, blessedly dreamless.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far. Just a bit of a shameless plug here: @sydkn3e and @mishaminion69 are collaborating on a new story for the SPNCanonBB that begins posting in July, so if you like our work here you should be looking out for that one!  
> We'll give updates on our posting schedule as we know more, but our first promo post will be up on the SPNCanonBB Tumblr in the next couple of days.  
> Our new fic is a season 6 canon divergent exploring the possibility of Godstiel, titled Profess Unto Me.

The next morning Dean woke pretty early, but he waited until he heard people in and out of their cabins before he got out of bed and dressed himself. He didn’t want to go up to Cas’s cabin too early and look over-eager, but he did want to get an early start so he could finish the porch and move on to his next task. Surely there were others down in the camp needing work too, but he supposed Benny or one of his people was taking care of that in the meantime. 

Not that Dean minded spending his day back up at Alpha’s cabin. For all that transpired the night before, he found he was looking forward to being in his calming presence again. It was nice being around Cas, where he felt like he could talk to him despite Cas not pushing him to do so. 

He didn’t know what he expected to come of it. His body was sending such mixed signals that he could hardly keep up. He did know that he was outrageously attracted to the Alpha, and he no longer felt exactly  _ afraid  _ of him. He also knew that when it came to sex, even though his body physically ached for it, he wasn’t sure how far he could go. How far his mind would  _ let  _ him go. 

At least Castiel seemed to understand that. He said he hadn’t been with anyone since his mate, which was almost six years ago. Surely there’s something about taking another mate or even being with another person intimately that frightens him as well.

Dean dragged himself out of this thoughts, knowing if he wasn’t careful he’d go in circles with them, and made his way to the kitchen. He ate his breakfast quickly, vaguely thinking back on Castiel’s promise that he’d never starve again. He was beginning to believe him. This place never seemed to run short on food.

He got what he needed from the toolshed, futzed around for a few minutes, then finally couldn’t deny himself any longer. Dean climbed the hill up to Alpha’s cabin, set out his tools and replacement wood,  and took a breath. He hoped he wasn’t too early and tentatively knocked on the door.

There was complete silence behind the door. Dean waited another thirty seconds or so and knocked again, louder this time. The sun was high in the sky and most were already out and about down at the camp. He supposed it was possible Cas was already down there, perhaps getting breakfast or something.

Dean knocked once more and was about to give up when he heard noise on the other side of the door, some shuffling and a muted groan, and Cas opened the door a moment later. He was completely disheveled, his already-messy hair sticking up all over his head. He squinted against the light coming in the door and tugged his shirt down in the front, which Dean suspected he’d thrown on in his haste to get to the door.

“Um,” Dean stumbled over his words, eyes bouncing from Castiel’s wild hair to his shirt half hanging off his shoulders. “S-sorry. I was just...just gonna finish your porch. I can...I’ll just come back. When you’re more...awake.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Cas ran a hand down his face and opened his eyes wide, sniffing loudly. He looked down and stepped back, gesturing for Dean to enter. “Should be getting up anyway…”

Dean looked back at the wood and tools, then stepped inside and shut the door. It wasn’t like he was on a deadline. Besides, it was kind of funny to see the Alpha so rumpled. 

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” Dean said sheepishly. “Everyone around here seems to get started early.” He followed Castiel into the living area and watched him plop down on his big pillow. Dean tilted his head and smiled a bit. “You look like you could fall over. Didn’t sleep well?”

“Up and down with Rory. Her cough was especially persistent last night.”  Cas scrubbed his hands down his face again and up through his hair. He reached over and pulled a roach out of his ashtray and lit it, taking a long inhale. He cleared his throat and looked up at Dean, offering him a smile. “How did you sleep?”

The Omega thought back to his dream last night and blushed as he sat down across from Cas. He rubbed at the side of his neck and cleared his throat. “Ah, good. Fine. Slept just fine.”

He watched Cas take another drag and sniffed curiously at the smoke. He was growing accustomed to the smell and was even starting to like it. Well, tolerate it, at any rate. If he could smell it, that usually meant Cas was nearby.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” Cas leaned back and laid his hands flat on the floor, stretching his back with the joint hanging from between his lips. He sat back up and rolled his head back and forth, cracking his neck. He groaned as he hit the roach one more time and placed it back in the ashtray, then blew the smoke out of his nose. “I wanted to ask...I mean, I’d hoped...that you would have lunch with me today. I apologize that I wasn’t better prepared to ask.”

Dean shrugged easily and trailed his fingers up and down his thigh, dragging his nail across the rough denim. “Don’t worry about that, Cas. ‘M not picky…” He smiled and gestured to Cas’s wrinkled clothes. “Kinda, ya know, cute like that. You look...um, comfy.” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked down at his lap. “Lunch, though. Yeah, we can do that. I’d...like that.”

Cas gave him a sideways smile and looked away. “Good. I’ll see what I can get together for us.” He looked back up, the slightest hint of pink fading from his cheeks. “Would you like some help today?”

Dean shrugged and scratched at his cheek. The scruff was almost a beard now, but not nearly as fluffy as Cas’s. The Omega was hit with the urge to rub his face over it and coughed to hide his rapidly growing blush. Thank God Cas couldn’t hear his thoughts. Sometimes he thought of the weirdest shit.

“Can if you want,” he said, licking his lips. “Might, um...be nice to have the company.”

“Well, I’d love to keep you company,” Cas smiled again and stood, stretching his arms over his head. He adjusted his shirt when he came out of his stretch and ruffled his hair. Dean held his breath as Cas approached, but he only gently ran a hand through Dean’s hair. “Good morning, Omega. I don’t think I established that yet.”

Dean fought to keep himself from grinning like a complete idiot and ducked his head slightly. “...mornin', Alpha,” he murmured back, dragging his teeth along his lip. His chest rumbled softly before Castiel let his hand drop. The sound stopped, but Dean still felt a pleasant tingle.

Cas smiled and scratched at his belly, the tanned skin exposed due to the seemingly habitually rumpled shirt and Dean found himself wishing he would just remove it so he could inspect the intricate tattoos that lay beneath. The shirt was barely covering anything anyway.

Cas looked around and frowned, then made his way to the window overlooking the camp and squinted down at everyone’s cabins. 

“Lemme go find my girl first,” he sighed, pulling at his shirt and throwing a jacket on top of it. He stepped into a pair of boots and laced them quickly. “I’m sure she left with Charlie early, but I just wanna be certain. Need anything? From the kitchen or anything?”

Dean shook his head and almost glared at the jacket that now covered up Cas’s barely there shirt. “No. Already ate.”  He leaned against the wall and looked out the window at the camp. “I’ll hang here til you get back. Sure she’s fine.” 

“I’m sure she is too, but… you know. Just wanna make sure.” Cas zipped up his jacket and threw on a stocking cap, tapping Dean on the arm before he moved to the door. “Back in a few.”

Dean nodded and Cas shut the door behind him a moment later, and Dean watched as he descended the hill, to be met by a small horde of pups at the bottom. He stopped like he usually did, down on one knee to hug and speak to each one of them, and one by one they ran off again to resume their playing. Dean crossed his arms and rested his head against the wall by the window, a small smile stretching across his face. He saw Cas knock on Charlie’s door but there was no answer after awhile, but Dean caught sight of bright red hair down close to his own cabin, where Charlie had walked around the corner with Benny, who held tightly to Rory’s ankles as she sat atop his shoulders. Cas approached them and hugged Charlie for a long time, and she nodded as Dean assumed Cas spoke, and they finally pulled away. Benny bent down for Rory to be able to give Cas a hug too, and after a few more minutes Cas was trudging back up the hill. 

Dean broke himself out of his trance and hurried to the door of Alpha’s cabin, quickly slipping outside and just beginning to gather his wood and tools, looking busy and distracted when Cas walked back up. 

“Everything’s good,” he announced with a smile. “Now...what can I do to help?”

“Um,” Dean knelt down next to the last few boards he needed to replace. “All pretty simple. Just pullin’ these up, puttin’ down the new ones. Just, uh...guess you can help me pull up these old nails.”

He handed Cas a hammer and hoped the Alpha was good enough not to bust a finger. “Watch for the splinters. This wood is pretty old. Got a few yesterday and they sting like a bitch.”

Cas frowned and sat the hammer down, reaching out and grabbing Dean’s hands and turning them over in his own. The one was still wrapped from that night during his heat, and Cas ran a thumb over the gauze, pressing his lips together.

“How long since you’ve changed this?” he asked genuinely, cocking an eyebrow at Dean. 

Dean twitched and looked down at their hands, shrugging and ruffling his hair with the other. “Coupla days,” he murmured, biting his lip as Castiel’s fingers pressed into his hand. He felt slightly embarrassed about the whole thing, losing himself like that and tearing at his walls like some animal. But he’d been so... _ angry, _ and wanted to feel his claws rip and mangle something, anything.

Cas gave him a look and shook his head. “Okay, first, we’re gonna take care of this. C’mon.” He let go of Dean’s hand and led the way back inside, standing back and holding the door open for Dean. “Have a seat.”

He crossed to the familiar cupboard in the corner and pulled out a basket, which overflowed with various bandage sizes and tape and other medical supplies.

Dean considered arguing, because he’s had much worse than this by far, but Cas’s tone was edging towards Alpha voice. So he grumbled and took a seat on the futon, picking at his bandages like a child to purposely mess them up even more. He turned and watched Cas pull out whatever he needed, including fresh gauze and some kind of ointment.

Cas sat next to him and took his hand again, gently removing what was left of the bandages. He started to apply the ointment, brushing it gently across the sores and scrapes, some scabbed over and some still open and red and angry-looking.

“Did it help?” Cas asked without looking up.

Dean cocked an eyebrow and looked up at him. “Did- what?”

“The tantrum,” the corner of Cas’s mouth quirked and he glanced up briefly before focusing on his task again. “Did it make you feel better?”

Dean licked his lips and looked away. “A little. For a while.” His fingers twitched, the ointment slightly stinging. “Sometimes...I just get frustrated. With all of it. And...I’m usually quiet about things. Nice to...I don’t know. Go wild, tear things up...even if it doesn’t fix anything.”

“While I do understand that,” Cas started slowly, unraveling a spool of gauze, “we should work to find you a healthier way, in which you don’t hurt yourself.” He began wrapping Dean’s hand again, gently weaving the gauze around his knuckles and looping it around his thumb. He wrapped them again a second time, then secured it in place with tape. “What were you frustrated about?”

Dean looked up at him and watched closely. Cas knew he was down there in heat, because it was the reason he was holed up in his own cabin in rut. So then this must be one of his tactics to get Dean to talk to him.  

“At myself, my body,” Dean answered carefully. “My heats are hard. Never on the right schedule. Lose control over everything. Become this moaning, slicking mess, usually in so much pain I can’t even think straight. I  _ hate  _ it. I’m broken inside and have to be reminded every few weeks.”

“ _ Dean _ .”

Dean wasn’t prepared for the tone Cas’s voice took on, even though he’d been waiting for it each time they spent any time together. He looked up at him through his lashes and shivered.

“ _ Stop  _ referring to yourself as broken. You’re not broken. You’re perfect.”

“Wouldn’t say that if you knew,” Dean grumbled darkly, then immediately wished he had kept his mouth shut. “Doesn’t just go away, Cas,” he said a bit louder, daring to glare up at the Alpha. “You all seem to think a few therapy sessions and some extra food will just  _ heal _ me and it  _ won’t. _ ”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Well that’s what it sounds like,” Dean snapped back.

Cas sighed and sit back, tongueing the inside of his cheek. “I never expected you to come here and get some decent treatment and decide that you’re magically healed. All I ask is that you give yourself a chance to  _ try  _ to heal, but you’re so damn caught up on the idea that no one cares, or that no one wants you. You won’t give anyone the chance to show you that your past doesn’t decide your future. We can’t magically make you better, Dean. But we  _ can _ help, if you’ll stop fighting it so hard.”

“I  _ am _ trying,” Dean growled, lip pulling back to show some fang. “You asked me why I was frustrated and I told you. I can’t help how I feel, Cas, and the fact that I even  _ told _ you shows I’m trying and if this is what happens every time I open my mouth I might just keep it to myself next time.”

He wrenched his hand away from Castiel and stomped off to the porch, grabbing a hammer and roughly pulling out nails, and completely ignoring anything else around him.

“For what it's worth,  _ I  _ think you're perfect. Doesn't matter what I know or don't know about you.”

Dean tensed when he heard Cas behind him, but he didn't turn. 

“I didn't mean to imply that you weren't trying. It's just… frustrating to see someone hate themselves for something they have no control over. Especially when that person is someone you're falling for.”

Dean froze at that, hammer half raised, and his eyes widened. Okay, yeah he knew Cas was attracted to him. Liked him. But ‘falling’ implied something deeper and Dean could hardly breathe now. 

He slowly lowered the hammer and stood, turning to face Castiel. He watched Alpha closely, both of them standing there in silence. Dean placed a hand on his stomach, closed his eyes, and once again thought about telling him. The words died before he even opened his mouth. 

“Shouldn’t fall for me,” he said instead, shaking his head. “Shouldn’t  _ let _ you fall for me. No good, Cas. I’m no good.” 

“I don’t have any control over that, either,” Cas said softly, leaning against the cabin with his arms crossed over his chest. “Dean, I…” he pushed himself off the wood and looked out over the camp, his hands falling to rest by his sides. He looked back to Dean and swallowed hard. “When Ysabella died, I was prepared to be alone for the rest of my life. Just me and Rory, until she left too...which she will, eventually. Then it’ll just be me again. And I was okay with that, until I met you. I loved my mate, Dean, more than you can probably imagine. She was intelligent, she was beautiful, she made me laugh,  _ god _ ...could she make me laugh. She was strong-willed and stubborn, just like you. She could calm my instincts with a look. Anyone who needed to approach a touchy subject with me would pray she was around too, because she was so forgiving and she truly,  _ truly  _ loved our people. She would have made an incredible mother had she had the opportunity. You would have, too.” Dean snapped his head up, his mouth falling open to speak, but no words formed. Cas gave him a knowing look, albeit sad, eyes turned down in the corners. “I don’t expect you to be her. I don’t  _ want  _ you to be her. But the way I feel when I’m around you? That’s the way I felt when I was with her.”

Dean huffed and looked down at his feet, feeling...well, he didn’t know. Lots of things. It was all a big ball of jumbled up emotions that he didn’t have the energy or patience to pick apart at the moment. 

He was astounded, though, that Cas had shared so much about his mate. The waver in his voice and tense muscles spoke volumes on how painful it must be to even think about her, much less talk about her to a new Omega. 

And, no surprise, Dean didn’t know what to say to all of that. Castiel knew, or guessed, that Dean had lost a pup. Confessed deeper emotions for Dean than he would have ever even dreamed of, and Dean could hear the loneliness in his words when he spoke of Rory leaving. 

He blinked and shuffled closer to Cas, reaching out to grab his hand and lightly squeeze. Without letting himself give it any thought, he pulled Alpha into his arms. No matter that the hug put Castiel’s face right up against his neck, his fangs just a breath away from his skin, or how the closeness bombarded him with beach and bonfire and pure  _ Alpha _ . Dean just wanted to comfort this man who had taken him in, protected him, and for whatever reason was falling for him. 

Cas relaxed against his skin, inhaling deeply and wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. He fisted his hands into Dean’s shirt and held on, taking steady breath after steady breath, only moving to pull back and bring one hand up to rest on Dean’s neck and card through the hair at the nape. It was hard to tell who was comforting who but they stayed that way for awhile, until Cas finally pulled back slightly and sniffed.

His eyes were a little red but not wet like he’d been crying...actually, it seemed like he’d been trying to refrain from that. It didn’t seem fair that he was supposed to be this big, strong Alpha all the time, like somehow crying or expressing any kind of emotion as an Alpha was frowned upon. Dean got the feeling that sort of thing didn’t really matter here, but it was likely something instilled within Cas, which reminded him that there was so much more to know about this Alpha than he did. Did he remember the world before it was broken? He supposed it was possible...he wasn’t entirely sure how long it had been before he was born since the world went to shit. 

Dean licked his lips and put away his questions for now. Cas didn’t need to be interrogated and he had a porch to fix anyway. He couldn’t resist leaning in to scent at Alpha, though, and pressed his nose against Cas’s neck. He tilted his head, leaving his neck open, a silent invitation. If nothing else, Castiel deserved a proper scenting, not like what he got last night. 

Cas leaned forward slowly and pressed his forehead to Dean's shoulder, turning his head and inhaling deeply. His hand found Dean’s hair again and the other came to rest around his waist on his lower back. He took several deep breaths and hummed, relaxing against Dean's body. 

Dean started to purr, lowly at first and gaining volume for every inhale Castiel took. His skin twitched on his neck from the unfamiliarity of it, but it was pleasant. The hand on the small of his back was warm, fingers massaging into his tense muscle and slowly relaxing it. Dean sighed and closed his eyes, huffing against Cas’s neck, feeling oddly safe.

Cas pulled away after a few minutes, but his hand remained on Dean’s head, and the other moved up to the other side, and suddenly Cas was cradling his face in his hands again. It made it hard for Dean to avoid his gaze, which is why he probably did it in the first place. 

“Thank you,” Cas said finally.

“You’re welcome…” Dean murmured, not totally sure what he did but willing to take the credit anyway. He cleared his throat, eyes bouncing around, suddenly aware they were still on the porch and in full view of anyone who happened to look this way. He vaguely wondered what some would think of their Alpha taking an Omega after so many years. 

Cas cleared his throat and dropped his hands, fidgeting nervously with his shirt and jacket. “Okay, so, um. Pulling up these nails, then.” He grabbed a hammer and sank to his knees, immediately setting to work prying the nails from the old wood. 

Dean's mouth quirked in the corner and he joined him, the two of them quickly clearing the old wood and replacing it with new slats. 

“You work well with your hands,” Cas said when they'd finished, dropping his head as his ears reddened. “I, um. I just mean, you seem like you know what you're doing.” He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, cheeks reddening now too. “Um -”

Dean laughed, a real laugh, and reached out to lay his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “I know what you mean,” he smiled, his cheeks reddening now too. “Had to learn to fix things on my own. Picked up some tricks along the way.” He licked his lips, his hand dropping reluctantly. 

“You're very resourceful,” Cas said, his last attempt at saving himself. He cleared his throat and looked down over the camp at all the people milling about. His head snapped back to Dean, and he tilted it to the side.“Would you like to take a walk with me?”

Dean bit his lip and nodded shyly. Together they stepped off the porch and, after seeming to hesitate for a moment, Castiel reached his hand out, palm up. Dean swallowed and took it, feeling the gentlest of squeezes. He ducked his head and hid a smile as he followed Alpha down the hill, the snow crunching under their boots. 

“Have you had time to explore much of the land?” Castiel asked, looking down at his feet as he walked. “It's a very pretty area, when the weather is nice and warm. Lots of lakes, bountiful fishing. I think you'll enjoy it, if you plan to stay.”

“Done some fishing,” Dean said softly with a nod, the feeling of Cas’s hand in his own so foreign he kept having to squeeze to make sure it was real. “With Benny. And, uh...walked the woods. A little.” He wouldn’t mention the wolf. For some reason he wanted to keep that private. It was getting easier to talk to Cas, but earlier this morning was proof they had a long way to go with communicating. The wolf was simpler. Dean talked, the wolf listened. 

Cas looked up at him and smiled, threading their fingers together. “Tell me about yourself, Dean. The good things. The happy things.”

Dean tongued his cheek, blinking down at the snow on the ground as they slowly ambled around the camp. He wasn’t even paying attention to where Cas was taking him, letting the Alpha pull him along.

“Good things,” he repeated slowly. It was sort of sad how hard he had to think. There were certainly good moments, but they were surrounded by crap and it was difficult to pull them free from the muck.  “Um, well...after  _ it _ happened, I decided to make my own way. Before that, I’d been scavenging off of packs nearby, but with my heats...it was too dangerous to be close to so many Alphas.” He cleared his throat and shrugged. “So, um, I found one of those gas stations. In the middle of nowhere, off some old highway. Just in time, too. Got another heat and had to stay there...but I survived, and no Alphas found me. I figured it was as good as place as any so…”

He glanced at Cas and took a breath. It was at that gas station that he nearly bled to death while his pup died inside him. But that was not a happy thing, so he skipped that. “Wasn’t so bad, actually. Didn’t have running water or electricity, but...I made it work. Had this little garden out back where I tried to grow stuff. Pulled out whatever I couldn’t use...found some canned food that was still good.”

God, this sounded depressing the more he talked about it. At the time it’d been a haven, though. True, it was lonely, but at least he’d been mostly safe. 

“Well that sounds… peaceful.” Cas frowned and looked down at their hands. “Must have been nice to finally find somewhere where you didn't have to worry for your life.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I wish I'd found you. I wish I'd found you before…” he cleared his throat again and shook his head once. The scent in the air changed marginally, the fire turning to smoke and ash in Dean’s nostrils, Cas’s hold tightening on his hand.

“ ‘s okay, Cas,” Dean said quietly, stroking his thumb across Castiel’s knuckles. “It was...Jesus, ten years ago? You were...you were growing your pack, you had your mate...and I didn’t want to be found. Pretty rare for anyone to happen by and when they did...I kept myself hidden.”

Although, he couldn’t help but wonder now what it would have been like if Cas had found him all those years ago. Certainly he’d be in much better shape, health wise, mentally. But...Castiel may not want him like he does if Dean had joined his pack back then. It was a selfish thought, but there it was. He would just be another Omega to Cas’s eyes, one he’s known for years and wouldn’t look at as a possible mate.

“No, no. It's not okay. It's a lot of things, but okay is not one of them.” 

Dean didn't know what to say to that, so he just gave Cas’s hand another squeeze. 

“I found Ysabella at an Alpha camp, when she was very young.” Cas clicked his tongue and looked up at the crowns of the trees. 

Dean’s eyes widened and they snapped to Cas, though the Alpha kept his eyes up. “An..Alpha camp,” he muttered, his heart seizing up just at the thought of being surrounded by so many eager knots and gnashing fangs. That was the stuff of nightmares and he hated to think what state Ysabella had been in when Castiel took her away from that awful place. 

“Yeah, she… well. Back then I was...I regularly infiltrated Alpha camps and liberated Omegas that were being sold to Alphas. I was doing that before I ever had this. It's sort of what prompted me to start my own camp.” He shrugged and frowned again, staring straight ahead as they walked. “She was one of many I freed from a camp on the outskirts of Albuquerque. She’d only just had her first heat. Miraculously no one had touched her yet, so they could sell her for a high price for being ‘pure’. We liberated her and probably ten others. Brought them back here.”

Dean rubbed at his chest and tried not to focus on how he wasn’t ‘pure’ anymore and hadn’t been for a long time. He morbidly wondered what his price would be. Small, he’d imagine. Most Alphas wanted a meek, weak Omega-small and easy to manhandle. He wasn’t either of those things.

“Glad you got her out,” Dean said genuinely. “Before they got to her. It’s...good, real good, that she was able to, um...experience those things, ya know, the right way. Not...not forced into it.”

“Yes,” Cas said, giving him a half smile. “Of course we, I mean, it was some time before we…” he rubbed his eyes and waved a hand. “She hated me at first.” He huffed a laugh. “I didn't blame her. After what she came from… it's a miracle that she ever allowed herself to trust another Alpha. She was barely sixteen when we met. But it was years before we were mated.”

Dean nodded and wished he could have met her. She must have been incredible to catch Cas’s eye, to help him control those Alpha urges. He could picture a fiery red head who took absolutely no crap and was able to stare down her Alpha with a simple look. 

“So...what, you just…” Dean shrugged and scratched at his cheek. “Popped your first knot and instead of mounting an Omega, you saved them instead? How did it even start? And…” He eyed Castiel up and down thoughtfully. “Not to be...um, rude, but...how old are you?”

Cas smiled, eyes crinkling in the corners. “I'm forty eight. And no… not exactly. My father was a big advocate for Omega rights, so he instilled that way of thinking in me as soon as I was able to understand it. It was about finding a balance within yourself to allow your biological needs be overpowered by your morals. To be able to fight off any urges we experience. I just… kept doing it after he was gone.”

Dean shook his head, a part of him almost unwilling to believe all of this. He’d never heard of Alphas like this. Sure, he’d occasionally run into one or two that treated their Omegas a bit better than most. But they still kept their Omegas under their jaws, pinned and obedient, there to make pups and not much else. 

He’d hidden himself so well, too well, that he’d completely missed this small revolution taking place. 

Dean looked at Cas, ready to tell him how amazing this all was, but all he could think in that moment as his eyes landed on that handsome face was that no one should look that good. 

Castiel stopped when he noticed Dean staring and raised a brow. The Omega blushed and ducked his head bashfully. “Sorry, just...48...I mean, you  _ look _ \- um, wow-ah-“ Dean was all red now and scrubbed at his face. “ ‘m just...gonna stop talkin’ now.” 

Cas laughed and squeezed his hand. “No,  _ please _ don't ever stop talking. You have a lovely voice.” He was still smiling as he stared ahead, slowing their pace. “And… thank you.”

Dean, still blushing heavily, just nodded and followed silently beside Cas. They weaved their way through the camp, stopping when pups spotted Cas and ran up, demanding attention. Dean stepped aside every time, and managed a little smile of one of the pups happened to look his way. Most of them kept their distance, still unsure of the strange Omega. 

He became so absorbed in watching Cas that it dawned on him late that they'd walked through a small portion of the camp, in front of several other people, still holding hands. When Cas wasn't holding pups, that is. 

But no one seemed to spare more than a glance, and everyone that spoke to them were kind, smiling faces. It felt so  _ normal _ that he hadn't even thought twice about it.  

“Dean!”

He recognized the little voice before he actually saw the fiery redhead emerge from behind Charlie's cabin, and she charged straight to him, wrapping her arms around his legs. 

Cas raised a brow and gave her an incredulous look. “You really  _ are  _ a traitor!”

“I saw  _ you _ this morning, Papa,” she giggled, pressing her face into the denim of Dean’s jeans. 

Charlie walked up a moment later with her hands in her pockets, smiling widely. She gave Dean a slight nod then walked up to Cas and placed her hand on the side of his face, bumping their foreheads together. He smiled fondly at her and placed a hand briefly on her back as she stepped to the side. 

Dean absolutely did  _ not _ feel jealous, and chose to focus on the girl half climbing up his leg. 

“Not a tree,” he told her, blinking down at her grinning face. 

“You’re tall like one,” she pointed out. 

“And you’re not a monkey,” Dean continued, ignoring her. 

“Papa says I can be whatever I wanna be,” she said smartly. Dean glared down at her, and she stared back unmoved. He sighed, knowing the battle was lost, and let her hug his leg, her cheek smashed against his thigh. 

“Weird,” he muttered at her. 

“Back at ya.” 

“Alright, Rory, enough,” Cas chided gently, prying her from Dean's leg and lifting her into his arms. She threw her arms around his neck then, kissing his cheek. “How are you today, little one?”

“LiLi started to teach me how to crochet,” she said proudly, pulling at the collar of his shirt. “So I can help by fixing things too, and making clothes for the new pups.”

Charlie smiled warmly at her and nodded. “She's a quick learner. But we knew that already.” 

Cas looked back at her. “Then maybe  we can work on you a new hat, throw away that old one you have now.”

“Maybe,” she said softly, looking down at the hand fisted in Cas’s collar. 

Cas kissed her on the nose and sat her back on her feet. 

“We'll be at my place or Missouri's, if you're looking,” Charlie said, and Cas smiled and patted Aurora’s head before Charlie took her by the hand and they walked away. She turned back to wave at Dean, and he lifted a hand slightly in response. 

Dean watched them walk off and found Cas’s hand again, finding comfort in the strong hold. He always felt so exposed when he walked around the camp too long. Too many eyes and smells and noise. 

“How’s her cough?” He asked after a moment of silence. “She sounded better…”

“I'm not sure,” he frowned after them. “I was up and down with her all night but this morning Charlie said she'd been mostly okay. It's hard to tell if it's getting better or worse. Just don't want it to go into pneumonia. We're worried about the cold… probably why Charlie has her learning to crochet today. Nice indoor activity and she's none the wiser.” He shrugged. “Missouri thinks it's probably nothing. We're just being cautious.”

Dean frowned and nodded slowly, chewing the inside of his cheek worriedly. It probably  _ was _ nothing, but one could never really tell. Winter killed pups all the time. In fact, this was the most pups he’d ever seen in a pack. They were so prone to disease. 

“Missouri will take care of her,” he said confidently. “Took care of me. Wasn’t in the best shape when I came here. Think the only reason I survived my last heat was because she was there.” 

Cas looked over at him sadly. “Yes, Missouri is wonderful. She's helped us through a lot here. All of us.”

They weaved back through some cabins back onto a small path through the woods, sun reflecting brightly off the snow peeking through the shadows of branches. Cas’s hand was firm and grounding in his own. Their paced slowed and tongued at his bottom lip, and Dean knew well enough now that he was about to ask something Dean was sure he didn't really want the answer to.

“Dean, do you… remember anything about him? The Alpha… who-”

“No,” Dean almost growled out, coming to a complete stop. “ _ No.  _ I'm not talkin’ about him. I  _ can’t.  _ Cas, please-” He took a trembling breath and shook his head, his fingers tightening around Alpha’s. “I just. Can’t.” 

“Hey, hey, okay, that's fine,” Cas said gently, turning to him and cupping his face with his other hand. “Hey. It's okay. You don't have to talk about him yet, if you don't want to.”

He brushed his thumb across Dean's cheek and looked at him until Dean finally looked up too. 

“But when you do, when you  _ can _ , I'm gonna need you to tell me everything you can,” he said firmly, his voice still soft. “Because I am going to find him, and I am going to kill him.”

Dean’s eyes widened and be swallowed audibly, shivering as those eyes bored into him. He was reminded of his wolf, a dangerous creature who was only gentle by choice. 

And, fuck, even if that scared him, Dean couldn’t deny the attraction. The slight thickening of his scent, how it flared eagerly, and how the tiniest bit of slick that trickled out. His Omega body responded to the Alpha so strongly it was embarrassing.

“O-okay,” he licked his lips and nodded, trembling slightly and he couldn’t tell if it was fear or arousal. 

Cas’s eyes darkened and he traced Dean’s bottom lip with his thumb, following along with his tongue across his own lip. His nostrils flared the slightest and Dean knew he could smell him, the confusing mixture his body was emanating. The hand holding Dean's let go and moved to his neck, and he traced down, letting it come to rest just above his collarbone, pulling the shirt with it to reveal some of his freckled skin. 

Dean didn't think twice about inclining his head to him, and Cas closed to gap to scent him again, pressing his nose to Dean’s skin and inhaling deeply. 

And...yeah, Dean could feel more slick slipping out, his whole body heating up. He barely held back a whimper, a hand coming up to fist at Cas’s back, clawing into his shirt. He had no idea if this reaction was normal, if it was because his body wasn’t quite right, or even if it’s just because of _ Cas _ . So Dean just held on, pressing his nose into Alpha’s neck and taking him in. It made his heart race, his legs shake, his mind go fuzzy with the strange combination of fear and need. 

Cas froze and forced himself back, panting hard, mouth hanging open and large fangs protruding. He shook his head and pressed hard against Dean's chest. Dean froze too, knowing Cas was probably still processing his smell and he wasn't completely safe yet. 

“You… your scent,” Cas said by way of explanation, unable to force any other words out. “I'm sorry…”

Dean nodded in understanding and worked to rein it in, but that was easier said than done. The sight of those fangs, bigger than he’s ever seen on an Alpha, made his neck tingle-right where Cas could sink his teeth into to mark him, claim him.

He huffed, feeling slick starting to run down his leg. His willpower wasn’t working. Castiel’s scent was too strong, overpowering, like having the bonfire right there at his face. Dean snorted, trying to get it out of his nose, but it was soaking into him and his eager body was pulsing for  _ moremoremore _ .

“ _ Dean,”  _  Cas said through clenched teeth, gripping tightly to Dean's shirt. He licked his lips and swallowed hard, jaw set and Adam's apple bobbing. He closed his eyes and took a breath through his nose, letting it out slowly. He pried one hand off Dean's shirt and reached out beside him, laying it against a large tree. “ _ Please _ …”

“Sorry, sorry,” Dean mumbled, scrubbing at his red face as he took a deep, long breath through his mouth. His fangs ached and he felt them with his tongue. They were partially descended. He chuffed, shaking his head, and did the only thing he could think of to cool his body down.

Dean flung himself down onto the snow and rolled around in the freezing stuff, probably looking like an idiot but the hell with it. It definitely worked, his scent shrinking to almost nothing and the heat receding rapidly. 

Cas took another moment to compose himself, and when he turned back to Dean his fangs were no longer visible and his eyes were back to normal, his muscles had even relaxed. He reached out and offered his hand to Dean, helping him up and to brush off the snow. His eyes lingered on the spot where Dean lay for a moment, then his eyes met Dean's again. 

“Um....I'm very sorry. There's work to do with me yet.” He huffed a laugh and ran a hand over his mouth. “Are you alright?”

Dean nodded as he brushed some snow off his ass, clicking his tongue. “Fine, I’m fine...kinda cold, but…” he shrugged with a half smile, eyeing Cas up and down. “Sorry. I don’t...I’ve never, uh, reacted like that before. You’re just...a lot.” He licked his lips and closed his eyes, breathing once again through his mouth. “Scenting you is...you scenting me...maybe we should hold off on that. Until I’m ready to...to do more...if I ever am.”

“Yes, I agree,” Cas said firmly. “I apologize. I pushed myself further than I should've and it's too risky.” He cleared his throat and looked up at Dean through his lashes. “We can do whatever you want, Dean. Or not. Everything about this is up to  _ you.” _

“That’s the problem,” Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, kicking at some snow. “I  _ do _ want it. Just...scared of it, too. It’s  _ confusing _ .” 

He looked at Castiel and felt so frustrated with himself. Any Omega would be lucky to have this Alpha. Would be falling on their knees to take his scent, his knot, his fangs. And yet Cas was wasting his time on Dean, who would balk at even the sight of a knot. He’d run to his cabin and lock the door, all while his body pulsed with heat and slick. 

“I know. It's okay,” Cas said quietly, holding a hand out. “Really, I understand. I want this, Dean, but not at the expense of your mental or physical health. If it's ever too much, just tell me, and that'll be it.”

Dean blinked at his hand a few times and finally took it, and Cas weaved their fingers together again. 

They started making their way back to Alpha’s cabin for lunch, though Cas still wasn’t sure what he was going to make. But he was good at on the fly stuff and Dean would pretty much eat anything, as long as it wasn’t poisonous. Or a rat. He the drew the line at rats, though there had been some winters where that had been hard. 

Back in the cabin, Dean crawled onto the futon and took off his jacket. While Cas started digging for food, Dean got the newly cleaned fireplace going to warm things up. He sat back and sighed, then closed his eyes and laid out in front of it. If he had a tail, it’d be wagging happily. Instead, he purred softly. He was warm, was about to have food, and had a good Alpha. Well, he didn’t really  _ have _ the Alpha. He wasn’t sure what they were, and what would happen, but it  _ was _ something. 

Cas ended up making roasted chicken with broccoli and more of the seasoned red potatoes, and they sat in front of the fireplace as they ate. Dean ate slowly, savoring how easy the silence with Cas always was. They could just be, just  _ exist _ at the same time in the same place and not have to talk...just be comfortable in all the unsaid but understood ideals. 

Of course, Dean always  _ liked  _ to hear Cas talk too, his deep voice comforting and rough and smooth all at once. He liked it in all forms: soft, commanding, threatening, hoarse… especially when Dean was the one who caused it. Being around Cas was just as easy as it was difficult. 

After two helpings and licking his plate clean, Dean spread out on the futon and absently rubbed at his amazingly full belly. Not being hungry was still very strange. He sighed and closed his eyes, his thigh nudging Cas’s knee. He was completely relaxed, which was also weird, but becoming a more common occurrence around Cas. 

Dean turned his head, cracking an eye open in time to see Alpha lighting up and taking a deep drag. His nose twitched at the smell and he blinked somewhat sleepily. Warm and full and very comfortable, he was starting to think a light doze sounded pretty good.

Cas pulled Dean to him and reached up to card his fingers through his hair, brushing fingertips against his scalp. He smoked with the other hand, and Dean could hear the deep inhales and exhales through his chest, feel the rise and fall. The warmth radiated off his body and enveloped Dean and he yawned, Cas responding by dropping his hand to Dean's jaw, tracing the sharp bone. 

Dean felt this urge to nip at Cas’s hand, but refrained and kept his fangs in his mouth. Best not to tread down that road again for a while, especially when they were alone and one of them already horizontal.

He did, however, nuzzle Cas’s hand and felt a fluttering in his stomach that this was happening. It was real. He’d never imagined he could lay here with an Alpha and feel completely safe. Not only safe, but cared for. It was something he could definitely get used to, though he tried not to get his hopes up too much. Surely something would go wrong, but Dean didn’t think about that too much.

Dean shifted to lay his hand on Cas’s lap, eyes sliding shut as the Alpha silently massaged his scalp and stroked his hair.

When he woke hours later they were in the same position, Cas’s hand still in his hair and the sun setting at the tops of the trees. There was only silent breathing though, and he squinted up at Cas to find his head back and lips parted, still asleep. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he laid there and looked up at him for awhile, thinking about the weight always on his shoulders being lifted, however temporarily. The poor guy was probably always exhausted, especially so lately with a sick pup. 

Dean reached up and lightly traced the line of Alpha’s cheek, sharper than his own, then down to the forever scruffy jaw. He found a few grays and smiled. He supposed it might be strange to find someone so much older than he was so...hot, but putting looks aside (and Cas definitely had them) there was something about a mature, established,  _ experienced _ and strong Alpha that really drew Dean in. Not to mention caring, smart, gentle, and just a little terrifying.

His hand dropped before he let himself get too caught up in touching and he shifted, cheek rubbing against Cas’s thigh. Dean watched Cas sleep a little longer than smirked and poked at the man’s nose. 

Cas instinctively reached out at grabbed Dean's wrist, eyes popping open. His grip relaxed instantly when he recognized Dean and he smiled, closing his eyes again and grumbling. 

“Didn't think my kid was home yet.”

“Nope,” Dean said. “Just me. Rory’s too mature to poke your nose.” 

He sighed and sat up, stretching and scratching at his neck. “Don’t usually sleep so well. Guess you make a good pillow.” He smiled at Cas shyly, his cheeks slightly pink. 

Cas reached out and brushed his fingertips against Dean's cheek, stopping them just before his lips. 

“You look beautiful like that,” he said softly, brushing over his cheekbone again for emphasis. “It's cute. You look… alive. Healthy.”

Dean wanted to hide, but Cas’s hand was firm, albeit gentle, and kept him from moving his head. He’s not sure he’ll ever get used to the way Cas just  _ said  _ things like that. 

Dean placed his hand over Cas’s, swallowing and feeling his face burn even more. “ ‘m not cute,” he mumbled weakly, breaking Cas’s gaze and looking down between their bodies. They were close, legs brushing up against each other, scents mingling. 

“Well, I disagree,” Cas said, pulling him close again and bumping their foreheads together. His hand ended up on Dean’s neck again and he let it rest there, their eyes meeting and Dean was too drawn into blue to look away. “I think you’re very, very cute.”

Dean exhaled shakily and copied Cas’s movement, placing his hand on the Alpha’s neck. He badly wanted to scent him, but that was much too risky. At least last time they were outside where anyone could see. It was private in here, warm and cozy, with the sky darkening outside. Perfect setting for intimate things to happen. 

“You’re...really hot,” Dean said, eyes widening at his own forwardness, but Cas was always so forthcoming with his compliments. Dean felt he should be the same way. Sometimes. 

“Oh really?” Cas raised an eyebrow, his eyes darting down to Dean's lips and back up again. He had a mischievous look in his eye, much like the one Dean had seen via Rory and well, it was no wonder now where she got it from. 

“...yeah,” Dean said hesitantly, watching Cas’s eyes dart down to his lips again. He licked them nervously, suddenly self conscious and wondering what the hell was going on in Alpha’s head. 

Cas stroked Dean’s neck and up along his cheek, running his teeth over his bottom lip. 

“Such a sweet Omega,” Cas murmured, his thumb finding its way back to Dean's lips. “You're so good.”

A loud and frankly embarrassing purr erupted from Dean’s chest, and he could do nothing to clamp it down. He wasn’t sure if it was Omega brain or just  _ him _ that liked the praise, the idea of being good for his Alpha. A little of both, maybe. He licked his lips again, the tip of his tongue catching Cas’s thumb, and he sucked in a breath at the brief taste. 

Cas’s other hand came up to caress the other side of his face and he gave him a small smile. 

“Look at you,” Cas purred, his fingertips exploring Dean’s face, his jaw, his lips. “This is how happy I always aspire to make you. How happy I want your life here to be.” He trailed his fingers down the front of Dean’s throat. “I want to hear this sound every day, from now on.”

His throat vibrated against Castiel’s fingers as his purr grew louder. Dean leaned into the touch, sighing softly, and rested his forehead on Alpha’s shoulder. He carefully breathed through his mouth and relaxed, skin tingling with every light touch Cas gave him. It occurred to Dean that he was starving for this, gentle touches and petting, the strong presence of another who was trustworthy and willing to deal with all the crap that came with Dean. 

Cas’s hand traveled back up to his face, cupping his jaw, and the other found its way to his waist, gently pulling. Cas pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as Dean straddled his lap, placing both of his hands on either side of Cas’s neck, fingers splayed. Dean froze, unsure what Cas had planned for him.

Cas purred now too, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest. It helped soothe Dean and he relaxed as much as he could while knowing the Alpha’s knot was just below him, how close he was to the one thing his body ached for in more ways than one. But Cas wasn’t acting expectant, wasn’t insinuating anything other than what was happening right then, his eyes trained on Dean’s and thumbs trailing over his cheeks. 

“I need you, Dean,” Cas said sincerely, brushing that thumb back over his lips, teasing him whether he realized it or not. “I don’t...not for sex, or for raising pups, or any of the other things you think Omegas are used for. I need  _ you _ .”

Dean’s hands curled into Cas’s skin as he dragged in a breath. He held it, then slowly exhaled, closing his eyes briefly. He looked down where their bodies were so close to meeting, just inches from each other. He hadn’t been this close to an Alpha since that horrible day all those years ago. His body thrummed with the proximity, and his heart skipped and hammered from Cas’s words, so heavy in the air. 

He shook his head, not understanding why Cas would possibly need him. Alpha was strong. He didn’t need a damaged Omega dragging him down. That’s not what Dean said, though. 

“I think...I need you, too,” he murmured, allowing that teasing thumb to pull at his lip. He kept his tongue inside, afraid that if he started tasting he’d never stop. 

Cas let out a breath, relief flooding his features. A hand ran through Dean’s hair, petting him almost, before coming to rest back along his jaw.

“Good,” he said with his exhale, “that’s good.” He tried to hide his grin by running a hand down his face and pulling at his own lip. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. Not that I...I mean, I wasn’t  _ looking _ for anyone else. I never  _ wanted  _ anyone else. But Dean, the moment Benny brought you in here, I was just... _ drawn  _ to you. You’re just...you’re special.”

Dean wasn’t too sure about that, but he didn’t want to ruin this moment. He just shrugged and pressed closer, as close as he dared, and rested his cheek on Cas’s chest. He felt the purring vibration all the way down to his bones, the sound drowning out any other thought but  _ Alpha _ . 

His purr matched it, though it wasn’t as deep, and he fisted a hand into Cas’s shirt. Dean chanced a small inhale through his nose and was pleased that it didn’t cause his overactive slick gland to start gushing. 

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and rested his cheek against the top of Dean’s head, taking calculated breaths through his mouth. He nuzzled his hair, purring happily, then turned his head to rub the other cheek against Dean’s soft hair, accidentally inhaling through his nose. Dean’s fresh rainwater smell invaded his nostrils and he froze, the rumble of his purr stopping abruptly.

He pulled back and grabbed Dean’s shoulders gently, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He shifted in his seat and Dean felt his cock twitch under him, which caused him to draw in a sharp breath with the tang of Cas’s arousal. Cas hummed softly and continued to shake his head, avoiding Dean’s eyes.

That one small inhale was all that was needed for the Omega’s body to respond, always ready to go when Alpha was nearby. He slicked, twitching in Cas’s lap, his purr stopping and starting as brain battled body. 

Dean shuddered and pushed himself back, his hands on Cas’s chest. His legs stuttered as he tried to pull himself off the Alpha’s lap, fighting that want-need-to stay and service that knot just below him. 

Dean growled and froze, unable to get his body to listen. He sucked in air through his mouth, but it wasn’t helping much. He’d already gotten the scent and his over eager channel, so starved for a knot that he’d denied it his whole life, was opening and slicking down his thigh. 

“ _ Dean, stop _ ,” Cas growled through clenched teeth, trying to hold him still while he regained control. But Dean’s instincts were pulled between staying and running, even knowing how bad of an idea that was, and he strained against Cas’s hold.

Before Dean could stop it he was on his back on the futon with Cas over him, eyes black and mouth hanging open, fangs peeking out from behind his top lip. Cas pulled back quickly but he was struggling, white-knuckling the frame of the futon.

Dean’s breathing grew short, his heart in his throat, tears stinging the backs of his eyes as fear began to win out over arousal. He squirmed, every ounce of his control keeping his claws and fangs from tearing at the man above him. Cas, whether he knew it or not, had Dean pinned down with his legs. Those strong thighs were hugging his legs, making it hard to move. 

Now close to hyperventilating, Dean drew his lips back and snarled in warning, his fangs puny compared to the ones above him. His slick abruptly dried up, his body shriveling on itself, as survival kicked in. Dean curled his claws, hovering them just out of range, ready to strike if Cas didn’t move. 

Cas frowned and pulled back slightly, shaking his head again. The black of his eyes started to shrink and as the blue returned, his mind seemed to as well. He threw himself back to the edge of the sofa and out of the immediate danger zone, then he stood on shaky legs and took a few steps back, holding out a hand. His fangs didn’t retract, though, and his cock still strained hard against the material of his pants. 

“I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly. “Dean, I…” he swallowed and looked behind him, then took another few steps. “I...I have to…”

He turned without another word and disappeared out into the cold, leaving the door open behind him, the light of the moon the only thing illuminating the doorway.

Dean stayed on the futon a few long moments, breathing in and out slowly to calm his heart. His fear quickly dissipated with the Alpha gone, and was replaced by worry and guilt. He felt like the whole mess was his fault, rubbing on Cas like that, purring like some needy Omega. Which he was, but that wasn’t the point. 

He finally sat up and looked at the wide open door just in time to see Charlie ushering Rory inside. The older redhead froze, however, when she was hit with the smell permeating the air. She looked at Dean, who could only shrug weakly, and she started pulling Rory back out of the house. 

“Wait, where is Papa?” The girl asked with a frown, looking around the cabin confusedly.  

“You’re staying with me tonight,” Charlie said as answer, dragging the girl out onto the porch. Dean heard some squabbling followed by a hushed conversation, then the crunching of snow as their footsteps faded away. 

He sighed and scrubbed at his face. He debated whether he should leave or not, then opted to stay and make sure Cas actually came home. 

After several hours of waiting, however, with no Cas and the night getting dark and cold, Dean decided it was time to start searching. 

He closed up the cabin, gathered his jacket around him, and trekked into the forest to look for his wayward Alpha. 

It was especially cold that night, the wind whipping through the trees and causing a faint whistling noise. The only other sound was the crunching of snow under Dean’s boots. He vaguely hoped that he’d see his wolf, but there were no indications he’d been anywhere close, and the night remained silent. 

There were no footprints, either, which was weird. But it looked like it’d snowed a bit since Cas left, and now it was late and dark, so that was easily explained. He took a wide lap around the woods behind Alpha’s cabin, but there was no sign of him anywhere. From atop the hill, he didn’t appear to be walking around the cabins either.

Dean took off around the hill to the right, disappearing into the woods again, only barely within view of the camp. There were only a few people outside and Dean kept a keen eye out for Rory, because it wouldn’t be surprising to him at all to see her after what had happened. He made a mental note to find and speak to Charlie as well, who was probably pretty irritated with him currently. Not that he’d been able to get much of a read on her since he’d been at the combine, anyway. He wondered how she and Cas got so close, and who she was to him...perhaps the reason that Rory always seemed to be with her. He tucked the questions away for later and paid attention to the snow in front of him when about halfway back to his cabin he picked up the trail of his wolf.

The big paw prints were set wide apart, a gentle reminder to Dean that the wolf was much bigger in person than in his head. He followed them past his cabin until he reached where he and Cas had stood earlier, near Charlie’s cabin. He chanced a glance over at her cabin, half expecting to see her or Rory, but again, it was late and dark, and they were both probably in bed. Dean followed the footprints until he realized they began going in circles, overlapping each other and doubling back. 

There was a large indent in the middle of the footprints, where Dean dove into the snow earlier that day. Except now the indentation was twice as large and surrounded by footprints. He quirked a smile. So his wolf had smelled him, then, and appeared to be a little possessive. The thought shouldn’t have amused Dean as much as it did.

A chuffing behind him has Dean whipping his head around. He peered into the dark, but could barely make anything out in the trees. He knew that sound, though. His wolf was still close. And since he wasn’t getting anywhere with finding Cas, he followed his wolf back into the trees. 

It was only a few minutes in when he felt the hairs on his neck stand up. He stopped and listened, but there wasn’t a single sound outside his breathing. He was being watched, though. Intently. 

“Wolf,” he muttered to himself, glancing around. Dean probably smelled like Cas and his arousal. Maybe that’s why the wolf wouldn’t come closer. Maybe the wolf didn’t like that Dean smelled like another. 

“Either come out or quit watchin’ me,” he snapped, in no mood to play Alpha games. 

A few moments passed before he heard snow crunching, and he had to admire the Alpha’s stubbornness. He stopped just outside the trees into the moonlight, his stance wide and defensive, his head down low between his front paws. 

Dean scoffed. “I know I smell. No need to be a dick about it.”

He took a step forward and the wolf tensed noticeably, a front foot stepping back. 

“Oh, come on, don't be like that,” Dean fussed, taking another step and holding out his hand. The wolf took another stiff step backward, a deep growl rising softly from the back of his throat, his mane bristling. 

Dean slowly let his hand fall and stared at the wolf, the growl and aggressive stance hurting him more than it scared him. First Cas ran off and didn’t come back, and now his wolf won’t even come near him. 

The sting of it all was more than he could ignore. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, turned around, and started to make his way back to his cabin, his shoulders hunched against the cold. Dean didn’t even glance behind him to see if his wolf followed or not, focusing on each step until he was clear of the trees. 

It wasn't until he got back to his cabin that the first howl rang out, and they continued intermittently throughout the night.


	8. Chapter 8

It took a full twenty seconds the next morning when Dean woke up to remember what happened the night before, and just like that his mood was soured. He laid in bed for about an hour before finally pulling himself out and dressing. He laced up his boots, threw on his jacket, and tugged on a hat that Missouri had given him, then stepped outside. 

It was blustery and there weren't many pups outside, the few that were being hurried to the kitchen or the medic cabin by their parents. Dean shuffled around aimlessly for awhile, debated on getting breakfast, but despite his stomach growling he didn't feel like eating. He looked up at Castiel's cabin and frowned, then started up the hill. 

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”

A cool female voice stopped Dean half way up and he froze, swinging his head around. Charlie stood a few steps away (he hadn’t even heard her approach, so wrapped up in his thoughts), her arms crossed, her lips pursed.

“W-what?” Dean asked dumbly, blinking down at her.

“You can’t hide that scent I walked in on last night,” Charlie glared up at him. “And the way you follow after him like a lost puppy. Cas had a good mate-”

“I-I know-”

“And he’s too nice to say it, so I will. He doesn’t  _ want _ another Omega, and you shouldn’t...shouldn’t _throw_ yourself at him.”

“I’m...I didn’t-”

“I know what I smelled!” she snapped. “Not to mention he came home so late last night, and he was freezing and upset and would hardly speak to me, and I  _ know _ it’s something you did.”

Dean shook his head, trembling from head to toe, his voice coming out rough. “N-no, I didn’t-we just-”

“He took you in!” Charlie wiped at her eyes, frustrated tears falling. “And you made him, made everyone believe you were some victim. Did you just think he’d forget about Ysabella? Make you the pack Omega? What were you trying to do?”

“I-”

“And now he’s so upset he won’t come out! You lied to him, and to us-”

“ _ No, I didn’t! _ ” Dean finally shouted, his cheeks red with anger and hurt, his fists clenched at his sides. He pushed past her roughly and stumbled down the hill, his ears ringing, his head swimming. He’d been so distracted he hadn’t noticed it at first, but it was coming to him now. As soon as he’d stepped outside, things had been different. Donna had avoided his gaze, Jody didn’t wave at him, even Benny had only given him a cursory glance. The cold he felt was not from the wind or the snow soaking into his jeans. In the matter of one night, they had all turned against him. He couldn’t even face the thought of Missouri believing all this crap that Charlie was spewing and didn’t go to medic cabin to find out. He went straight to his cabin and locked the door, feeling trapped and scared and pissed off. 

Dean rubbed furiously at his eyes, even more ticked off when his hand came away wet with tears. He sat heavily on the bed and breathed deep, fingers digging into his knees. He’d have to leave, before they kicked him out. Maybe he could find a way to sneak into the kitchen and scavenge some food before he left. He didn’t have much to pack, either. Wouldn’t take too long to disappear.

God, he was stupid to even think this could have worked. To believe in that small bit of happiness he’d felt with Cas. Of course he wouldn’t be able to keep it. 

He was plotting his escape when there was a heavy knock at his door. He ignored it, looking around the cabin at what he could potentially carry with him, hating himself for feeling guilty about taking from them. He also ignored the fact that it said a lot about Cas as an Alpha if everyone was genuinely concerned for him in a case like that, if that’s what it had ended up being.

The knock came again, more insistent this time, and Dean growled and stood, ripping it open. 

“What-”

Cas stood there with his coat wrapped snugly around him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He shivered noticeably and squinted up at Dean, licking his lips nervously. Dean’s eyes widened and he took a step back, then steeled himself and frowned, opening his mouth to speak.

Cas held up his hands in defense. “Please, just...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dean. Please, I...I still want to  _ try. _ ”

Dean’s eyes widened even more and his mouth fell open. “You-you wanna  _ try _ -” he shook his head and scoffed, running a hand through his hair roughly. “This whole pack is glaring holes in my head, and you wanna  _ try _ .”

He huffed, setting his jaw. “I  _ looked _ for you all night. You just...just left and I had no idea if you were okay or if you even still-still wanted me. And then this morning, when I try to go apologize, I get ambushed by Charlie who-who actually accused me of  _ lying _ and playing a victim- _ she had no right _ , _ she has no idea- _ and throwing myself at you, and she’s got this whole damn pack believing it.”

Cas’s face puzzled and he held up a hand again, cocking his head to the side. “Wait, wait... _ what _ ?” He shifted his stance and put his hands on his hips, looking down the line of cabins, back and forth, then back to Dean. “Dean, I...no, I didn’t have anything to do with that. And as for last night...I’ll explain it, I will, if you just let me.”

Dean scoffed again and Cas swallowed hard, eyes pleading. “Dean, I swear, I...I didn’t mean to give them that impression. Charlie, she...she just…” he sighed and scratched roughly at the top of his head. “Please. I can explain everything. I’ll fix it. I promise.”

Dean stared him down for a long minute, jaw twitching, then nodded jerkily and stepped aside. Cas eagerly walked into the warm cabin, rubbing at his arms as Dean shut the door. For good measure, he closed the curtains in case Charlie wanted to peer in and put her nose where it didn’t belong.

He sat down in one of the chairs and crossed his arms, staring down at the floor and bouncing his knee. The floorboards creaked as Cas paced the tiny space, his scent a bit sour with worry and distress. He stopped suddenly, turning to face Dean.

“I’m sorry for taking off the way I did,” he said sincerely, clasping his hands together in front of him. “I...I wasn’t sure if I could control myself and I panicked. At the time, it made perfect sense. I just had to...get away. But I am sorry, for leaving the way I did.”

He sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. His nose was still red from the cold and wind, his eyes a little watery. 

“I don’t know why Charlie said what she did. I didn’t say a word to her. But trust me, I will speak to her, I’ll speak to everyone, and they’ll know the truth.” His jaw clenched and he let out another heavy breath, following it with a nod, his tone gentler. “Yes, I still want you. Dean, of  _ course _ I still want you. I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t...didn’t think you had  _ told _ her to…” Dean sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I wasn’t saying you had anything to do with that. She just...really pissed me off. Doesn’t know a thing about me.”

He looked up at the Alpha and frowned, his look softening a bit. “Was just worried when you didn’t come back,” Dean mumbled, poking at another hole forming in his jeans. “Went looking and couldn’t find you and…”  _ My wolf was a dick and didn’t want to come to me, and you were gone, and I had to go back to my cabin all alone. _

Dean sighed again and closed his eyes. “I don’t know that you should...have to deal with me. Got enough stress...shouldn’t add to it.”

Cas scratched nervously at his cheek. “No, Dean, you’re the opposite of a stressor. And I’m not  _ dealing  _ with you. I _want_ to spend time with you. I enjoy your presence. And honestly, I am so sorry that I made you worry. I would promise it wouldn’t happen again but...you have to understand, if it comes between running off or hurting you, I’d make that same choice a thousand times over.”

Dean stared down at the floor, and Cas stepped forward, dropping to his knees in front of him and taking his hands. “Hey. Don’t give up on me yet.”

Dean bit his lip and shook his head, fingers wrapping around Cas’s hand tightly. “Not worried about that,” he said softly. “Worried about  _ you _ giving up on  _ me _ .”

“Not gonna happen,” Cas said sincerely, shaking his head. He caught Dean’s eyes with his own and nodded. “I promise.

Dean looked at him doubtfully, but still nodded. He felt along Cas’s hand, still cold and slightly dry from the wind. In fact, Cas still looked like he was freezing. He was trembling slightly and his nose was red, eyes puffy.

“Got yourself sick,” Dean reprimanded, rolling his eyes. “Look at you, you’re freezing.” He huffed and stood, pulling Cas with him and pushing him onto the small bed. He ignored Castiel’s inquisitive squint as he tugged off his jacket, and also ignored the widening eyes as he climbed on top of the Alpha and laid down.

“Dean-”

“Shut up,” Dean grumbled, pulling the blanket over them and settling down, his cheek on Cas’s chest. 

Cas was tense against him but Dean didn’t care. He made himself comfortable and Cas very slowly began to relax, muscle by muscle. He was breathing heavily through his mouth though, obviously stressed over accidentally getting another whiff.

“This is a bad idea, Dean,” Cas insisted, laying a hand gently on his back.

“Not if you keep calm,” Dean said quietly, his purr starting up and growing steadily louder. He sighed and nudged Cas with his forehead. “Relax. If you keep  _ thinking _ about...ya know, stuff, then this won’t work. Just...breathe. Close your eyes.  _ Relax _ .”

“Easier said than done.” Cas huffed a laugh, but he settled back against the pillow, his chin on the top of Dean's head. His breathing evened out eventually and he heaved a sigh. “And for the record, I'm not  _ trying  _ to think about that… stuff. But in case you hadn't noticed, you smell  _ really _ good.”

Dean smirked slightly and was glad Cas couldn’t see his blush. “Hm, not so sure it’s just my smell. Could be the fact that I’m layin’ on top of you…” And things were touching. He wasn’t an Alpha, but he even couldn’t ignore the position they were in. “Alphas always thinkin’ with their knots,” Dean scoffed into Cas’s shirt and closed his eyes.

“Trying really hard to avoid that,” Cas muttered, moving his hand up through Dean's hair. He pulled gently at a few pieces. “I'll need to go talk to Charlie soon. I apologize on her behalf… and when I explain to her, I'm sure she'll come to you herself. It's… she's defensive. We all are. It's the world we live in now.”

“Don’t care,” Dean snorted, glaring at the floor. “Had no right sayin’ that to me. Saying I...I faked what happened. You’re lucky I didn’t claw her face off.” And he’d really wanted to. Even if she did apologize, and meant it, Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever get along with her.

“She's… she's been through a lot too, Dean.” His hand froze in his hair. “I'm not downplaying what you went through at all. It's terrible. It has me ready to kill for you. But…” he licked his lips, “She wasn't as lucky as Ysabella. Neither of you. She’s known me a long time. She treats Aurora like a daughter. She just genuinely cares what happens to us.”

Dean, still too cranky the incident, didn’t say anything more about it or Charlie. Later on, when he’s calmed down a bit, he’ll be able to think more clearly. He shifted, rubbing his cheek over Cas’s chest, pleased to feel that the Alpha was warming up a bit. 

“Stupid,” he mumbled grumpily. “Bein’ out all night like that. Was freezing. Old timers like you shouldn’t do that. Lucky if you aren’t sick.”

“I’m fine,” Cas insisted, trailing fingertips over the warm skin of Dean’s neck. “Used to the cold. Like it, even, most of the time.”

His fingers moved back up to Dean’s hair and he inclined his head, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head. He rested there for a few seconds before pulling back again, only allowing the smallest hint of Dean’s scent into his nostrils. 

Dean mumbled incoherently. He hated the cold, but mostly because it meant long periods of time without food and sickness was almost guaranteed. Winter meant living on the verge of death and always wondering if today was your last. He supposed that would all change now if he ended up staying here.

He sighed and resumed his purring. Dean closed his eyes and sank into Cas’s warming body, not thinking about certain parts touching or how even the slightest mistake while breathing could start the mess all over again. Instead he focused on how his head rose and fell with each breath Cas took, the sound of his heart beat, the gentle hands in his hair, the solidness of his body. 

Cas moved his hands down Dean's body, across clothing and skin, down his back, over the scars that adorned his waist. Their purring fell into sync, Cas’s slightly louder and deeper than his own, and Dean relaxed into their embrace, wrapping long fingers around Cas’s arm. 

He had no idea how long they’d laid that way when Cas finally spoke, one hand coming up to stroke gently at Dean’s jaw. 

“Why do  _ you  _ want to stay? It must be terrifying for you.” 

He knew Cas meant with  _ him _ , not at the compound itself, since that answer was fairly obvious. But Cas was genuinely curious, his hand fisted into the back of Dean’s shirt as he looked down at him, waiting for an answer.

“Well...yeah, it is,” Dean admitted, opening his eyes and looking down at Cas’s chest. “ ‘specially after...last night. Guess for a minute I forgot you were an Alpha and that, uh...reminded me. But I don’t...don’t  _ really _ think you’ll hurt me. And I’ve never felt this safe with...anyone.” He frowned. “Which I guess sounds weird, since you scare me too. But it’s not...not  _ you  _ that scares me. Just…” Dean sighed and shook his head. “Not explainin’ myself right. It’s like what you said before. Body wants you, but  _ I _ also want you.”

Cas hummed and resumed his rubbing, one hand finding its way under Dean’s shirt but rubbing innocently along his mid back, and he only tensed for a few minutes before relaxing again. He knew when Cas came across one of the scars because the movement of his hand hitched, traced the raised skin slightly until it wound down below the waistband of his jeans, and he moved his hand back up.

“Yeah. Yeah, I get that. I’m so sorry. I’m still working to gain your trust and I’ve already soiled it.”

“Haven’t soiled it,” Dean said firmly, lifting his head to rest his chin on Cas’s chest so he could look up at him. “Do you think I’d be lying here if I didn’t trust you? Letting you touch me?”

“I guess not.” Cas smiled down at him and leaned down to kiss his forehead this time, lips linger just a little longer than they had earlier. Baby steps.

He wrapped his arms back around Dean’s torso and after a moment, his purring resumed again. With Dean’s ear pressed to his chest it almost sounded like something rolling around in there, but it was comforting and between that and Cas’s smell when he was relaxed, Dean felt completely at ease as well. 

He was so at ease, Dean quickly fell asleep to the vibrations of Cas’s powerful purr and gentle petting. Alpha’s scent filtered through his nose as he slept and his body slowly heated up, his own purr gaining volume.

He went from sleeping in his cabin to somehow being pinned on Cas’s bed, the Alpha’s fangs grazing his neck and those nearly black eyes gazing down at him with feral lust. Dean wasn’t afraid, though. He arched and moaned, his legs spread, naked and ready. Slick coated the insides of his thighs, his hole open, his cock laid over his stomach and leaking. Alpha growled and slipped inside, his cock huge and stretching and getting deep, deeper, the knot locking them together, seed pulsing inside-

Dean jerked and woke with a start, breathing heavy and face flushed, his jeans uncomfortably wet and tight. He shuddered, momentarily forgetting what and who he was lying  on top of, as he shook his head to dislodge the lingering images. 

Cas’s hands were on his arms again and squeezing, his body tense under him. Dean chanced a look up at him to find his jaw set, eyes squeezed shut, fangs protruding. He was desperately trying to breathe through his mouth, his whole body shaking. Dean wondered very briefly how long he’d been laying like this, and how long Cas had let him sleep despite how obviously uncomfortable and difficult it had been for him.

Now Cas knew he was awake, but he still didn’t move. In his defense, he probably couldn’t...or didn’t trust himself to. 

Dean licked his lips nervously and quickly debated with himself. He was, surprisingly, not freaking out. Probably to do with the fact that he was on top and not pinned down, and could move away at any time even with Cas’s hands digging into his arms. Either way, it was an odd opportunity to test himself. 

Dean moved to sit up, but Cas’s fingers clenched with a sharp intake of breath. Dean paused and went slower, letting himself sit on top of the knot below, which strained between two layers of clothes and  _ fuck _ , it really wasn’t making his situation easier. He held his breath, hands braced on Cas’s chest. The fear he expected didn’t show up, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. His body wanted it, but his mind was stuttering. 

Dean licked his lips and moved off the bulge, sitting further down Cas’s legs.

“Dean,” Cas said roughly, opening his eyes and looking down at him, black once again practically overtaking the blue. He unpried his fingers from Dean’s arms and stiffly dropped them to his own stomach, and they rose and fell with each breath he took. He closed his eyes again and pushed his head back hard against the pillow, taking a deep breath through his mouth, his hands falling to fist into the sheets.

Dean watched this with a sort of morbid fascination, knowing that Cas was probably barely holding himself in check and marveling at his Alpha’s strength. 

He glanced back down at Cas’s straining cock twitching against the fabric of the jeans. Dean took a deep breath, hands slightly trembling with the confusing jumble of wants and fears colliding in his head. This was his doing, though. He’d insisted on lying with Cas, and now his Alpha was in pain because of it. 

Dean glanced up at Cas’s face, at the large fangs poking out, and thought maybe he could do...something. Not what Alpha  _ really  _ wanted, or what his own body wanted, but  _ something.  _

He hummed to himself and tentatively reached out, pressing his plan against the confined knot. 

Cas uttered his name again and moaned, pushing his head further back into the pillow and arching slightly into the touch. His hands moved now to grip the sides of the mattress instead, which Dean supposed would be more grounding than just the sheets. 

Dean looked up at him and chewed his bottom lip. Cas’s forehead was beaded with sweat and slightly red, the color moving down his neck and surely covering his chest by now as well. Dean pulled his hand away slowly and took one of Cas’s, having to pry it off the mattress even against his weak protests through clenched teeth. He leaned forward, taking Cas’s hand and placing it on the bullet around his neck.

“For when you’re less than human,” he murmured softly, and Cas let out a shaky breath and nodded.

He held the hand there for a moment then dropped his own, using it to grip Cas’s thigh. His other covered the damp bulge and squeezed, and Dean almost choked from the size. If he ever got that thing inside him it’d be a damn miracle. 

He scooted up a bit, eyed Castiel thoughtfully, and started rubbing against the trapped cock. He briefly thought about undoing the zipper, but the thought of actually seeing the knot had him shaking more than he already was. Dean kept it under the jeans, his fingers working slowly over it, feeling the outline of the knot forming at the base. 

Cas gave the necklace another squeeze and he let out a steadying breath, lowering his hand to Dean’s. The other hand still clung desperately to the side of the mattress, but it was progress, and Dean was grateful for it.

Cas still breathed steadily through his mouth though, trying to avoid Dean’s heavy scent in the air. That was probably wise for now. He did finally look down at Dean with wide eyes, chewing at his lip to bite back a moan. It still rumbled through his chest and he arched up again, hissing through his teeth.

The corner of Dean’s mouth quirked and his rubbing grew firmer, more confident, as his own arousal increased and the underlying fear weakened. The Alpha was letting him have the control and the willpower that must have took was astounding to Dean. Though he imagined in Cas were to inhale through his nose that willpower would crumble. 

He swallowed and wrapped his hand as best he could around the thick bulge, squeezing and shivering when he felt wetness soaking through the jeans. His slick gushed out, no doubt making a mess of his jeans. He panted, digging into Cas’s thigh as he found the outline of the Alpha’a knot and pressed down. 

Cas made a strangled sound and sucked in a breath, letting it out with a shaky whine. His eyes rolled back and the hand on Dean’s found its way to the mattress again, gripping tightly. 

“ _ Dean, please _ …” another broken whine, a raspy inhale, “you have to _ stop _ …”

But his cock twitched hard against Dean’s hand, and he knew Cas was just trying to be safe, trying to look out for him, and trying to do so without running out the way he had the night before. 

“Not scared of you,” Dean said with a surprisingly steady voice, though he wasn’t as confident as he sounded. “I can do this.” 

He shifted, getting himself as close as he could to the bulge without just sitting on it, which his body desperately wanted him to do. He twisted his hand, found the fat knot hidden beneath the jeans, and cupped it as much as he could. Dean massaged it much like he knew his channel would, squeezing and releasing, milking it for the load he knew would come. 

Cas writhed beneath his fingers, drawing in desperate gasps and pulling against the mattress. His chest heaved and he was soaked with sweat all the way through his clothes now, his scent assaulting Dean’s senses.

He came with a choked cry, cock twitching and soaking the front of his pants. His whole body shook with the aftershocks but he remained as stiff as he possibly could throughout, even as Dean continued his ministrations and had his cock kicking a second time just seconds later. Dean's hand could barely wrap around the thick knot at the base of Cas’s cock and he gushed more slick at the thought of it locking inside him, pumping him full of the Alpha seed his body so desperately craved. Even through the residual fear his body sang  _ matebreedmatebreedmatebreed. _

He whined low in his throat as his hole clenched around nothing and Cas was coming again, more of that precious seed pumping out. Some primitive part of Dean’s brain was yelling, screaming at him for wasting it all. To mount or be mounted, take in what’s left. Though he couldn’t see that knot ever fitting. 

“Cas…” he whispered, not knowing what to say but wanting Alpha's name on his tongue. He squeezed around the knot again, pressing his fingers into it, and shuddered as Cas’s cock kicked again. The scent was overwhelming and he was so hot it almost felt like heat, so much slick that it was soaking Cas’s jeans. They would both reek of it for the entire day and night. 

“ _ Jesus,  _ Dean,” Cas finally managed through panted breaths. He opened his eyes and looked down at him, the black of his pupils shrinking slightly to reveal the blue Dean loved so much. His hand covered Dean’s again and he inhaled sharply as they pressed against his cock. 

“ _ God _ , I wish I could scent you, bet you smell heavenly…”

Dean purred and whined, leaning heavily over Cas and panting as he worked that pulsing cock over and over, until it kicked one last time. When he felt the cock softening under the now soiled fabric, Dean shakily took his hand away. It was sticky with cum and he badly wanted to taste it, but a part of shrank at the idea of getting the stuff anywhere inside. In the end, Dean carefully wiped it away on his jeans. 

He huffed and sat back, staring blankly at the wall as he fought to catch his breath and let what just happened sink in. His cock pressed needing against his pants, but it was easily ignored. After a moment, he looked back down at Cas, who looked...very good. Fangs still poking out, eyes a dark blue, his hair wild and begging for some fingers to run through it. 

“Was…” Dean cleared his throat and swallowed, his mouth dry. “Was that good? Never, um… done that before.” 

“Dean, you didn’t-” Cas stopped and licked his lips. “Yes. Yes, it was good. But Dean...you didn’t have to do that. I was...managing, I think I would have been fine.”

He shook his head and huffed, trying to get the scent out of his nostrils. He unclenched his hands from the mattress and relaxed marginally, his fangs slowly sinking into his gums. He took a large breath and let it out, stomach rising and falling.

Dean shrugged, feeling weirdly shy now, which was stupid. He’d just rubbed the guy’s knot out. “Wanted to,” he muttered, looking up at Cas through his eyelashes. “Gotta start somewhere.” 

Cas sat up slowly, holding out his hands. “Come here, then. No harm in trying this now.”

Dean tilted his head and slowly crawled forward, planting himself in Cas’s lap. His arms hung at his sides briefly before he looped the around Alpha’s neck loosely. He licked his lips, eyeing Castiel curiously. 

Cas pressed a hand to his back and the other to his neck, leaning in close and smiling softly when he bumped their foreheads together. “Is this okay?”

Dean inhaled slowly and nodded, unable to stop looking into Alpha’s eyes. God, they were beautiful. The color just shouldn’t exist. He’d never seen anything so  _ blue _ . It was quickly becoming his favorite color. “Yes,” he whispered. “Yes, this is fine.” 

Cas hesitated another moment before raising his head and gently pressing their lips together. It lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away again. 

“Was that okay?”

Dean trembled, not because of fear but because of overwhelming  _ happiness _ that he could at least have his first kiss be something good. 

“Yes,” He husked out, licking his lips. “Very okay.” 

Cas smiled and kissed him again, longer this time, hand still firmly planted on Dean’s back while the other drifted into the hair on the back of his neck. It was undemanding and unhurried, the opposite of anything Dean had ever known of Alphas before Castiel. 

Dean sighed into it, his arms tightening around Cas. He followed Alpha’s lead since he’d never kissed before, and they massaged their lips together slowly. Dean’s tongue slipped out to poke at Cas’s lips then drew away, half teasing and half shy. 

Cas leaned in to chase it then pulled away, huffing a soft laugh. His hand moved back to Dean’s cheek and his thumb brushed over his lips. “Still okay?”

Dean hummed and trailed his fingers over the nape of Cas’s neck. “Yes, still okay,” he smiled shyly at the other and bit his lip, and it felt slightly swollen. He thanked what little luck he’d had back then that the crazed Alpha hadn’t touched his mouth. 

Cas smiled again and squeezed his neck. He pulled his lip between his own teeth and trailed a thumb over the front of Dean’s throat. “I’ve pictured myself doing that thousands of times and none of them even came close to how perfect that was.”

Dean scoffed softly and looked down, a hand sliding down to fiddle with Cas’s shirt. One of his buttons was loose and he picked at it. “Doubt it was perfect...don’t even know what I’m doing,” he chewed on his lip and sighed. “But you...you were very, um, nice.”

Cas chuckled and fell back to the bed. “Nice. I’ll take it.” He looked up at Dean and reached out, taking his hand. “And for the record, you  _ were  _ perfect.”

Dean rolled his eyes and shifted to lay beside Cas, wanting to argue but knowing it wouldn’t do much good. Alphas were pig-headed that way. Couldn’t change their minds for nothing.

“Sorry about your pants,” he murmured, glancing down at the mess. His weren’t much better. Actually, they were probably a lot worse. “Don’t know where that dream came from. Usually just get them during heats.”

Cas looked over at him and frowned. “But didn’t you just...you just had your heat.” He chanced a sniff, closing his eyes. “Guess it was just a one-off. You smell fine. Incredible, actually. But if it was heat, I’d know.”

“Mm, good,” Dean rested his cheek on the Alpha’s shoulder. “Don’t think I have the energy for a heat right now.” He splayed his hand out across Cas’s stomach, a finger slipping between the gap of two buttons to poke at some skin. “Don’t think you do either.”

“I really don’t,” Cas huffed, slipping an arm under Dean’s head. “Maybe when I was a little younger.”

Dean hummed and glanced up, sliding his hand across Cas’s chest and up his neck to poke at the scruff on his jaw. He smiled at the grays mixed into the dark brown. “Mm, I don’t want you younger. Somethin’ about you being older...I don’t know. I like it.” He paused and blinked. “Is that weird? Kinda weird.”

Cas shrugged and poked out his bottom lip. “Could be weirder. It’s good for me, anyway.” He turned to face Dean, brushing the fingers of one of his hands with his own. “How do you feel? Are you okay?”

“I feel...good,” Dean nodded to himself, frowning thoughtfully. “Um...little shaky...weird, but good. Kinda expected to freak out, but...I was...I was okay.” He looked up at Cas and licked his lips. “What about you? I know it was...risky. And difficult for you.”

“Yes,” Cas admitted, chewing his lip. “But I feel good. A little proud of myself, if I’m being honest. I feel like maybe...maybe I can be a little better around you now.”

Dean chuckled a little, a smirk on his lips. “You  _ should _ feel good. Think you came like five times…” He scoffed and shook his head, thinking biology just wasn’t fair. Alphas get multiple orgasms and Omegas get cramps. Who the hell came up with that anyway? “And...you should be proud, too. I was impressed...never seen an Alpha with so much willpower.”

“There are too few of them, for sure,” Cas muttered. He turned to his back again and pulled Dean into his side. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed. “Not exactly gonna be easy for me to sneak out of here.”

“You’re the Alpha,” Dean muttered, eyes slipping shut. “You really need to sneak? Not their business anyway…” Ah, so he _was_ still a bit grumpy about the ugly looks and cold shoulders. He’d thought for sure a nap and rubbing a knot would shake that off, but apparently not. 

“Still,” Cas chewed his lip, then pressed his lips together and looked at Dean. “It’s too bad outside to do any work, but I’d like it if you’d still come to the cabin tonight for dinner.”

“Yes,” Dean said immediately, then flushed at his eagerness and coughed, hiding his face against Cas’s chest. “Ah, yeah. I would like that. Just...maybe don’t let Charlie yell at me on my way there.”

Cas laughed and brushed a hand against Dean’s face. “It’s okay, you can be as crazy about me as I am about you. Balance the scales a bit.” His smile faded and he gave Dean a sincere look. “And don’t worry about Charlie, I’ll speak with her when I leave. Well. After I go home and change. And shower.”

Dean nodded silently, tracing his finger over Cas’s chest, then pouted a bit. “Hm, don’t wanna smell like me anymore?” he teased, poking at the Alpha’s rib. “Thought you liked my smell.”

“I  _ love  _ your smell,” Cas grins, “but this probably shouldn’t be the way that everyone finds out we’ve...I’ve…” he waved a hand, “anyway. I also worry about Rory. Those traits could technically present at any time. Scenting. Don’t want her to find out that way either.”

“Makes sense,” Dean said and sighed, wishing he could press his nose into Cas’s neck and scent him. Too risky, though, for his stupid overactive body. “When...um, when are you going to tell the pack?” He wouldn’t admit how worried he was. He didn’t exactly relish anymore of the cold looks.

“Well, Charlie, Benny, and Missouri will know immediately, of course,” Cas said, frowning up at the ceiling. “As for the rest of the pack...I’m not sure. It’s a bit tricky because I obviously don’t want to disclose all of your information to them, not that I could if I wanted to anyway. But I also don’t want them believing what Charlie said. And I have to worry about Rory finding out. I just...I don’t know yet.”

“No hurry, Cas,” Dean said genuinely, reaching out to squeeze Alpha’s hand. “Really. Don’t exactly want all the attention anyway. Don’t want Rory finding out the wrong way...hell of a way for her scenting to come in.” He shook his head in horror. God, it’d be mortifying for that little girl to come into the cabin and smell... _that_.

Cas nodded. “I'll figure it out. But I guess I was also just waiting...I guess I just wanted to be sure that this,” he gestured back and forth between them, “that it's… real. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up without knowing how you felt. And I can't introduce you as a potential mate to my daughter if I don't know, either.”

Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek and slipped a hand up to Cas’s neck, letting it rest there. “I...I mean, for me anyway...I think it’s real. I’m...scared, for a lot of reasons. But I don’t  _ want _ to be scared and I think if I can do this at all, it would be with you.” 

“Good,” Cas laid his hand over Dean's and smiled. “That's good. God, it's good to hear you say that. It's been...a long time since someone has made me feel this way.”

“Hm,” Dean hummed, rubbing his knuckles against Cas’s palm. “I’ve  _ never _ felt this way. Didn’t really think it existed.” He shook his head in disbelief. “And it’s all happening so...fast. Feel like I just got here.”

“It  _ is  _ fast,” Cas agreed with a shrug. “But it feels… natural. I hardly know a thing about you but I feel comfortable with you, familiar. I know I can trust you. I don't get that often, and definitely not from anyone I'm interested in in that manner.”

“I know I can trust you, too,” Dean murmured, scooting forward to lay his head on Cas’s chest, half draping himself over the Alpha. “I’ve never trusted anyone, but especially an Alpha. It feels...weird, but good.” He pauses and snorted. “Never really talked this much either.” 

“Well, you should. You have a lovely voice,” Cas said, pressing his lips to the top of Dean's head. “I could just sit and listen to you talk all day.”

He shifted and pulled Dean halfway back on top of him, looking much more relaxed than he had just moments earlier. He ran a hand through Dean's hair, fingertips massaging his scalp. 

Dean’s chest rumbled with a purr and he rubbed his cheek against Cas’s chest, and vaguely wondered if they came from cats instead of wolves. He pulled at Cas’s collar, revealing some skin and the tip of his tattoo. Dean traced it and looked up at his Alpha with a raised brow. 

“I like this,” he said with a smile. “Must have taken a long time.” 

“Awhile,” Cas smiled back, nudging his fingers playfully with his own. “Jody does them. She’s the artist. This particular one took several days, a few hours here and there.” He ran his fingers over the sun and one of the wolves thoughtfully. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Maybe one day I can get one,” Dean traced along the other wolf and bit his lip. “Not sure if I can sit still while someone pokes me, though.” He tilted his head and ran his fingers over Cas’s. “Guess you like wolves? Or you believe we came from them?” 

“You don’t?” Cas raised an eyebrow, looking over at him. “Do you believe another explanation for the way we are, how we came to be?” It wasn’t a question meant for an answer, Dean doesn’t think, because Cas looked down as he traced his tattoo, humming to himself. “They’re from Norse mythology. Have you ever heard the story of Skoll and Hati?”

Dean shook his head, watching Cas’s finger and following after it with his own. “Heard the names, but…” he shrugged, “not like I had anyone around to tell me stories. Never thought much about where we came from...or what happened to the world. Too busy trying to survive.” 

Cas gave him a bright smile, eyes twinkling, and sat up, pulling Dean with him. He crossed his legs and turned to face Dean, who mimicked him. “Skoll and Hati were the wolf sons of the Norse demigod Fenrir, according to legend. When Fenrir was captured and held by Odin, Skoll and Hati attempted to free him. They were caught by Odin, who placed a curse on them. You see, Sol and Mani- the sun and the moon- they were notorious for coming and going and odd times, staying too long or not long enough, too late, too early. Odin cursed Skoll and Hati with the job of herding Sol and Mani’s chariots, to keep them on a proper schedule.”

He unbuttoned a few of the buttons on his shirt and pulled it open a little further, to reveal the entirety of the tattoo. Two wolves, one black and one white. The black wolf faced the moon and the white wolf faced the sun, the two of them completing a circle. Cas traced over them and looked up at Dean.

“They were only allowed to walk the earth when Sol and Mani were on time, which of course was cause for tension. The curse was meant to last until the inevitable Ragnarok, the great battle that would destroy and rebirth the world. Skoll and Hati knew that if Ragnarok ever came, they would be able to finally catch Sol and Mani and kill them, and they would be lowered back to the new world. They prayed for Ragnarok.”

Dean’s eyes were trained on the tattoo, and he frowned, reaching out to touch the black wolf. “And did Ragnarok ever come?”

Cas nodded. “It did. Which is how the stories of how our people came to fruition.  Ragnarok came and destroyed the planet, but instead of Skoll and Hati catching and killing Sol and Mani the way they’d anticipated, they were simply lowered back to the earth. They roamed the dark planet for what was likely the span of three days and nights, although there was no way to tell because Sol and Mani were no longer running on schedule. On the third day Skoll and Hati began to go mad, the solitary and disarray too much for them to handle. In the dark the wolves began to howl, and Mani heard them and appeared in the sky. When they complained of loneliness, Mani let them know that they were the only ones left, and it would be up to them to repopulate the planet.”

Dean tilted his head and frowned, trying to wrap his head around it all. It all seemed too fantastical, like some storybook. But in some weird way it made sense. He knew humans weren’t like they were  _ before _ , and they had technology that was sorely lacking today. The world was wilder now, broken and unhinged. 

“So...we came from Skoll and Hati,” Dean said slowly, looking at Cas for clarification. “How? They were brothers...and there was no one else. One of them just grow a uterus and- _oh_ …” he licked his lips. “One was an Omega?”

“Yes,” Cas nodded sagely, taking Dean's hand. “And yes, they were brothers. Christianity tells a story with many similarities, the destroying of earth and subsequent repopulation by Adam and Eve, who were also technically relatives of each other. We all are. Although, if you choose not to take the story as literally, some prefer to view Skoll and Hati as brothers in arms, not born of the same womb yet both offspring of the great Fenrir.”

Dean hummed and traced Cas’s knuckles. “So why aren’t we wolves then?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Why do we still have human forms? If all the  _ real _ humans died, how do we look like this? I know there’s Alphas out there that boast they can shift, but I’ve never seen that before. And anytime they were asked to show proof, they always had some excuse…” he scoffed and rolled his eyes, “but I’d heard legends...you know, that those who can shift are  _ wilder _ , dangerous...direct lines from whoever made us.” 

Cas pressed his lips together and smiled, looking down at their hands. “It all depends on what you believe, Dean. Those who believe the story, believe that we are descended from Skoll and Hati, they usually blame the shift on evolution. That we needed to evolve to human forms to better survive and procreate. But there are rumors...as you’ve heard...of those who can shift. Not necessarily just Alphas, either, but those who come from the pure bloodline.” 

Dean shrugged and laced their fingers together. “I don’t believe in the shifters anyway. No one who has claimed they can have ever proved it, and if the really existed they should have shown themselves by now.” He frowned and shuddered involuntarily. “Not sure I want them to exist. Most Alphas are bad enough. Wouldn’t want to add a wolf into the mix.” 

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand and smiled softly. “Fair enough.” He reached up and tilted Dean’s chin up, letting his hand trail around to the back of his neck, and pulled him into another gentle kiss. He brushed his fingers through Dean's hair as he pulled away. 

“I should go,” he said quietly, looking toward the window. “Need to talk to Charlie.”

Dean pouted for a moment then nodded reluctantly. He wanted to keep Alpha to himself and he supposed that was the selfish needs of an Omega who has only ever been on his own. He thought of himself before he thought of the pack, which he still didn’t feel a part of. More like a visitor, a stranger they’re simply putting up with. He would have to get used to sharing Cas with the rest of them. 

Dean leaned forward, hesitated, then kissed Castiel quickly, shy and unsure. “Go on then. Before I change my mind about letting you go.” 

Cas huffed a laugh and pressed a kiss to Dean’s hand, squeezed, and pushed himself up off the bed. He shrugged on his jacket and winced, pulling irritably at the front of his jeans, which Dean had almost forgotten about. He had no idea how Cas was going to sneak back to his cabin without someone figuring out what happened.

“See you soon?” Cas asked hopefully. He adjusted the his collar and pulled his jacket around his body, holding it in place.

Dean nodded with a small smile and the two shared a silent look before Cas shook himself out of it. He nodded goodbye and slipped outside, quickly shutting the door behind him. Dean listened intently for a moment, heard the crunching of snow as it faded, then sighed. 

He rubbed at his face tiredly. The last few hours was a lot to process. And he was hungry, but didn’t exactly want to venture out where someone might decide to confront him like Charlie. 

Dean grumbled and stood, shimmying out of his sticky pants and kicking them away. He found some decently intact ones and pulled them on just as he heard a knock on his door. He froze, knowing it wasn’t Cas, and tensed his muscles. Was someone really going to come inside his cabin just to yell-

“You best open this door, sugar, or I’m gonna break it down.” 

Dean visibly relaxed and sighed, quickly opening the door and letting Missouri inside. She had with her a bag of food, water, and blankets. 

“Oh, honey, that smell,” she laughed and shook her head. “I thought it was bad out there. You can cut it with a knife in here, though.” 

Dean flushed a deep red and wordlessly took the offered food. 

Missouri removed her hat and scarf, bundling them and sitting them on Dean’s small table. Her jacket went next, and she finally turned to face him, putting her hands on her hips. She clicked her tongue and held out her arms.

“Come here, boy, let me hug you ‘round your neck.”

Dean smiled shyly and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and slouching down, dropping his head to her shoulder. She hugged him tightly and stepped back, grabbing his chin and keeping him briefly at her eye level.

“Listen here, I  _ know  _ better, okay? So don’t you pay no mind to them people out there who don’t know what they’re goin' on about. You hear me?”

Dean swallowed and nodded, hoping his eyes weren’t too watery. He couldn’t possibly express his relief to hear her say that and simply hugged her again instead. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her sweet motherly scent, and squeezed her gently. Missouri rubbed his back soothingly, clicking her tongue softly. 

“My sweet boy,” she sighed as they pulled apart. “Don’t you worry. Castiel will straighten them out. Meanwhile you just eat and keep warm. It’s freezin’ out there and I  _ know  _ you haven’t eaten yet.” She have him an accusatory look and he ducked his head. Missouri waved her hand with a shake of her head. “Well, not your fault. What with them believing every little thing they hear. That’s the bad thing about packs, sugar. Everybody’s business is everybody’s business and half of it is a load of you know what.”  

Dean smirked and opened the bag of food, biting into a small loaf of bread. 

“It's pack mentality, though,” she continued, sighing and plopping down in a chair. “A little archaic maybe, but packs are used to knowing every intimate detail of everyone's lives.  _ Especially _ their Alpha. At least you don't see much of some of the more vulgar pack traditions anymore, like the mating ritual.” She trilled a laugh and Dean’s eyes widened. 

“Mating ritual?” He cocked a brow, mouth full of bread. 

“Oh, yeah, sugar,” Missouri nodded, bottom lip poking out. “Mmhmm. Used to be tradition for whole packs to watch their Alpha take a mate. Some packs still do it, I imagine.”

Dean almost choked on his bread, coughing and pounding on his chest. He swallowed roughly and looked at Missouri in horror, and she barked a laugh and shook her head. 

“Honey, honey, calm down,” she smiled up at him. “Cas isn’t one for those kinds of things. Like I said,  _ archaic _ . He doesn’t really do archaic. Plus, with what you’ve been through, he wouldn’t even think about it.” 

Dean relaxed and bit off another piece of bread, thinking how horrible it would be if Cas wanted to do something like that. He could barely do things when it was just them. 

“He, um...ever do stuff like that before?” Dean asked, unable to help his curiosity. 

Missouri shrugged. “Couldn’t say. He’s a bit of a mystery, even to me. I wasn’t around when he mated with Ysabella...was here for Rory’s birth, though.” She shook her head sadly. “Anyway, Cas has been around a long time. He says he’s 48, but…” Missouri got a twinkle in her eye. “Between you and me, something ain’t quite normal with him. Now.” 

She clapped her hands and stood, pointing at the bag of food. “I want that all gone by tomorrow morning and I’m gonna check your weight again. Gimme a hug.” She held her arms out and Dean went eagerly, squeezing her again before letting go. She patted his arm, bundled up, and left to trudge back to the medic cabin. 

Dean watched her from the door, looking back and forth at the cabins and imagining all their inhabitants bundled up by their small stoves to keep warm. The wind still whipped loudly, blowing snow in its wake. It was hard to see Missouri once she made it about halfway back to the medic cabin. Dean shivered and shut the door behind him, turning around and frowning at his space. 

Not that he minded the cabin. It was small and it didn't have much, but it was  _ his.  _ Dean tried to recall actually ever having owned anything in his life that he hadn't stolen. Two months ago he'd be hunkered down in the wild in a storm like this, maybe a cave of sorts if he was lucky. Now he had a place to call home, even if he wasn't feeling particularly  _ at home _ in light of recent events. 

Dean did wonder, however, that if he were to become Castiel’s mate...well, surely he’d move in with the Alpha. The cabin on the hill wasn’t huge by any means, but it had a bedroom of sorts, a bathroom, a living area...and most importantly it had  _ Cas _ . He wanted to be surrounded by Alpha’s scent, his company, his weird things and collection of books. He wanted to fall asleep with Alpha, wrapped safely in his arms, feel that deep purr right down to his bones. 

Yes, this little cabin was nice and more than he’d ever had before. Dean, however, couldn’t help looking out the window as the snow and wind whipped around outside, and stare up at Alpha’s cabin with longing. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm gonna be honest: it was time to post a new chapter but it's a really long one and I don't feel like editing it so if you see anything super glaring, let us know.  
> Enjoy!

Dean waited until he felt it was around a proper dinner time, if not a little early, and made the trek to Cas’s cabin. The wind had died down some but it was colder than it had been earlier in the day, and another probably quarter inch of snow and ice had been piled on top of what was leftover from the last storm. It was getting dark and Dean passed a handful of people on his way up, none of which paid much attention to him. By the time he finally made it up the hill his nose was frozen and running, and he wiped it irritably on his sleeve. He stood in front of the door and took a deep breath, pulling his jacket down in the front, and knocked.

A few seconds passed before the door was pulled open, and Dean’s eyes dropped from where he was expecting Cas to the little form he got instead. 

Aurora grinned widely and lurched forward, wrapping her arms around him. She was barefoot and Dean scoffed and stepped forward with his hands on her shoulders, moving her back inside with him. 

“You're gonna freeze, kid,” he mumbled, quirking a smile at her. 

“Aurora-”

Cas rounded the corner from the bedroom and stopped, rubbing a hand against his thigh. “ _ Oh _ , Dean. Hello.” He smiled then looked down at Rory, his smile fading. 

“Didn't I tell you to have your socks on at all times? At the very least, daughter. You're sending me to an early grave.” He quirked a brow and Rory sighed, loosening her hold on Dean.

“I was being  _ polite, _ ” she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You were being invasive,” he countered, pointing over his shoulder. “Now go get dressed. Charlie will be here soon.”

She groaned and shuffled to the bedroom, Cas watching her until she was out of sight. His suffering parent face quickly diminished and he smiled over at Dean again, then gestured to the room. 

“Please, come in. I'll put on some tea.” He moved to the stove then stopped and held up a hand, turning and pointing back to Dean. “ _ Mint  _ tea. You'll like it better than that other stuff, I promise.”

Dean chuckled and watched Cas fuss with a kettle, leaves, who knew what else that went into making tea. He found that he liked watching Cas mess around in the little kitchen, humming to himself as he moved about. Dean thought he could get used to the sight if he managed not to screw this up.

Shrugging his shoulders, Dean slipped his jacket and the sweater under it off, draping them both neatly over the futon. He remembered very vividly what had happened just the night before on that futon, but brushed it off with a shake of his head. That was behind them. They would do better this time.

He sat down in front of the fireplace and held out his hands, stiff and red from the cold, to warm them up. He already dreaded going back to his cabin. The stove kept it warm enough, but nothing even close to cozy like Alpha’s cabin, although the warmth that Dean always felt there likely had little to do with the fire and everything to do with Cas.

Cas fiddled around in the kitchen for a few more minutes while Dean warmed himself, finally joining him on the futon with two cups of tea. Dean had to admit, though tea still wasn’t one of his favorites, the mint tea was much better than Cas’s “special” tea. Cas held his own cup between his hands and turned to face him, leaning back against the arm of the futon, his legs crossed in front of him.

“Missouri came to speak with you, I trust? Bring you food and water?”

Dean sipped at his tea curiously and nodded with a small hum. “Yeah...always makes sure I get enough.” He huffed a laugh and glanced over at Cas. “Think she’s adopted me as her own. Should just start calling her mama.” 

“She does have that effect on people,” Cas grinned over his mug. “Even me, when she first found us. Probably the most comfortable I’d ever seen anyone entering an unfamiliar pack. First thing she said to me was ‘your mate’s too thin’, then she proceeded to lecture me on the many different reasons why my job as an Alpha was important.” He looked down at the tea and smiled again, tracing the rim of the cup with a finger. “She’s more of a pack mom than I think anyone else could ever be.”

“Lucky to have her,” Dean murmured. A sound to his left had Dean looking up to see Rory stepping out of the bedroom, fully dressed and ready to go. She grinned and climbed between them on the futon, making herself comfortable on her papa’s legs. 

“Do I get tea?” She asked, eyeing Dean’s cup. 

“No,” Dean said playfully. “All mine. Not sharing.” 

She giggled then turned to Cas, pulling her face into a pout. “Papa, he won’t share.” 

“You’ll have to learn sometime that you’re not entitled to everything everyone else has just because you’re small and cute,” Cas teased, pulling her into his lap. He handed her his mug and shrugged at Dean. “I guess just not today.”

There was a knock on the door and Cas quickly took the mug back from her, a drop or two spilling in her excitement to get up.

“LiLi!”

Rory threw open the door and hugged her around her waist. Charlie bent at the waist to hug her back, red hair falling over her shoulder as she laughed and stepped inside.

“Hey there, kiddo. Ready to go?”

Rory nodded and Charlie patted her head, looking up at the two of them. She gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded to Cas, eyes immediately bouncing back to Dean. 

“Hello, Dean. Is it- may I speak with you? Privately, please?” 

Dean seriously thought about telling her no, but a knowing look from Cas had that idea shriveling up and dying. He sighed and set his cup down, and stood with a curt nod to her.  

They both retreated into the only private space available, the bedroom, and only left the door open a crack.

“What?” Dean demanded, already feeling his defenses rearing up as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

Charlie tilted her head and sighed, shoving her hands in her pockets. “First of all, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for freaking out on you the way I did. I’m sorry for calling you a liar. I didn’t have all my information, and I jumped to conclusions.”

“Yeah. You did.” 

“Yes.” Charlie smiled nervously, then looked down at her feet. “I also wanted to explain to you... _ why  _ I reacted the way I did. Not to make you forgive me or feel sorry for me, but just so we can understand each other better.”

Dean waited, and she finally looked up again, her smile gone. 

“I’m very...protective of Cas. We all are. And we know he doesn’t need it, that he’s our Alpha and he’s stronger than all of us but...it’s hard not to be sometimes, because of how good he is to us. But for me it’s...more than that.” She clasped her hands together and looked down as she began to pick at a nail, then finally dropped her hands and sighed, looking back up at Dean. “I don’t know how much Cas has told you. But he rescued Ysabella and I together, from the same camp. Ysabella was my best friend.”

Dean loosened his arms somewhat and nodded slowly. “He mentioned...you came from the same camp. I, uh, didn’t know you and his mate were close, though.” Which would explain some of these hostility. Not excuse it, of course, but he understood it a little better now.  “Must have...um, been hard. When she died,” Dean said carefully, his arms falling to his sides. 

Charlie pursed her lips and nodded. “Listen...Dean.” She sighed and hugged her own torso. “It’s not that I don’t want to see Castiel ever take another mate. It’s just...actually  _ seeing  _ it is harder than I anticipated it would be. It...I don’t know. It’s silly, and I know it’s not true, but it feels like...it just feels like every time I see Cas smiling at you, it feels like her memory is fading. Cause it’s that smile, you know? The one he always reserved for her. And now it’s for you, and it’s-” her breath hitched and she swallowed, glassy eyes looking over to the window. “I want him to be happy.” She nodded. “Bella would want him to be happy.”

Dean was quiet for a moment, looking down at his feet and tugging on his shirt. “I would say I know how that feels...but I don’t. Never had a friend before. I can...understand, though. And it,” he huffed and shrugged, “was never my  _ plan _ to...steal him or whatever. Just wanted someplace safe. Never expected the Alpha to be... _ Cas _ .” He paused and licked his lips. “If it makes you feel better, he’s talked about her with me. I don’t...I don’t think that memory is fading at all.” 

Charlie smiled and looked back toward the living room, the sound of Cas’s voice and Rory’s giggles carrying through the door. “They’ve been my life since Bella passed. Cas isn’t just a leader, he’s like a brother to me. I treat Rory like she’s my own daughter. She acts exactly like Bella did. Sometimes I forget she’s not here.” She huffed a laugh and sniffed, quickly wiping away tears from the corners of her eyes. “I want Cas to be happy, Dean. If you make him happy, then that’s what he deserves. And if you want him,  _ really  _ want him, then I’ll support you both one hundred percent. I’m sorry I assumed that you were...just trying to use him, or whatever. Obviously I was wrong. I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I know I deserve that. I was angry and I jumped to conclusions. There’s no excuse for my behavior.” She sniffed and huffed a laugh, dabbing another tear from her eye. "And Cas made sure to let me know how he felt about my...outburst. The only time I've ever seen him angrier was once when Bella and I snuck out of camp in the middle of the night to go to Cedar Creek Falls."

Dean gave her a small smile. “It’s...well, I was gonna say okay, but it’s not,” Dean snorted with a small shrug, slipping his hands into his pockets. “But I understand how you might have thought that. Not like you know me, so…” He sighed and shrugged again. “Let’s just...forget it. Water under the bridge and all that.”

“Yeah. Well, you’re right. It’s not okay.” Charlie shrugged too, shaking her head. “I had no right to judge you without knowing you. And I inadvertently questioned Cas’s judgement as well. If you’re good enough for him, then you’re much too good for me.” She quirked a smile. “Again, I’m sorry. I’d very much like to try to get to know you better, in time, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that would be...um, fine,” Dean said quietly, nodding at her. She smiled at him again and the two emerged from the bedroom a few seconds later. 

Dean blinked when he saw Rory hanging upside down from her dad’s arms, giggling as he swung her back and forth gently. She waved at him, her cheeks red from laughing.

“Hi, Dean!”

Dean tilted his head and waved back, watching as Cas slowly lowered her to the ground where she righted herself and got to her feet. She immediately launched herself at Dean, hugging his legs as she looked up at him.

“Are you gonna hang out with me and LiLi?”

Dean shook his head. “Not tonight. Keeping your dad company.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

“Because we’re friends,” Dean said coolly, a little proud of himself for giving an answer without being awkward about it.

“Why?”

Dean raised a brow at Cas, who let his head fall back with an exasperated sigh.

“Um…” Dean looked back down at the inquiring young redhead, “because...your dad is a nice guy and I like hanging out with him.”

Rory tilted her head. “Why?”

Dean opened his mouth and paused, but Cas spoke before he had to come up with another answer for her. 

“You don’t have to answer that,” he gave Dean a look, her perpetually tired eyes looking even more so now. “The ‘why’ game is her favorite. It’s a phase...I hope.” He bent down and pulled her into his arms again, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Not everything has a simple answer, child.”

She sighed dramatically and muttered something about grown ups and their never making any sense as Charlie grabbed her hand.

“C’mon, kiddo. Time to go.”

Rory gave Cas and Dean one last hug before following Charlie out the door. It shut behind them softly and Dean was left alone with the Alpha once again. He sat back down on the futon and took up his tea, taking another sip. 

“She must wear you out,” he chuckled, looking up at Cas. “All that energy. Don’t think I ever had that much when I was a pup.”

“Dean,” Cas said urgently, sitting down across from him and taking his hand, eyes wide. “You have  _ no  _ idea. I haven’t slept in almost six years. Six  _ years _ , Dean. I don’t possess this sort of stamina.”

He sighed and sat back against the futon, rubbing absently at his neck. He looked out the window, watching as Charlie and Rory retreated over the hill. “She’s got this incredible free spirit, though. It’s easy to forget how young she is.”

Dean smiled and shyly reached out to squeeze Cas’s thigh, shifting close to the Alpha and loosening up a bit now that they were alone. Not that he didn’t like Rory, but having the pup around always made him a bit tense.

“You  _ do _ look tired,” he murmured. “And I mean in that most flattering way possible. We don’t have to do dinner. We can just...sleep.” He blushed and cleared his throat. “N-not that I mean ‘we’, just...I mean, unless you  _ want _ me to stay-I just meant-” Dean sighed and rubbed at his face. “I’m  _ so _ bad at this.”

Cas chuckled and squeezed Dean’s hand. “You’re fine, Dean. It’s fine. I don’t want to sleep. I want to spend time with you.” He leaned forward and entwined their fingers. “I’ve waited much too long to be able to kiss you again.”

Dean ducked his head and smiled, his cheeks reddening. “Only been a day…” he mumbled, but was secretly pleased Cas was so eager. He looked up and licked his lips, his eyes darting down to Cas’s before bouncing up to meet blue.

“But, uh...no one’s stopping you,” he whispered, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth.

Cas huffed a laugh and reached up, using a thumb to pull Dean’s lip out from between his teeth. The hand slid around to the back of his neck and pulled him forward, and Cas pressed their lips together, his other hand cupping the side of Dean’s face. 

Dean sighed into it, his hands clenching at Cas’s shirt and inadvertently tugging him closer. Their knees bumped together and he shuddered when he felt the tip of Cas’s tongue nudge against his lips. Dean hesitated only a second before he opened his mouth just a little. He purred when he felt Cas just barely slip inside, teasing him, then retreating. Dean hardly noticed that he chased after him.

Cas hummed and licked his lips, trailing the tips of his fingers down Dean’s cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned back again, the smallest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Definitely even better than I remembered,” he said, opening his eyes and smiling fully at Dean now. “And it  _ is _ easier now, this time. That’s good.”

Dean shifted in his seat and traced the seam of Cas’s pants with his finger. He felt shy around the Alpha again. Silly, considering what had transpired earlier that day. But now that the heat of the moment was long gone, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. 

He looked up and couldn’t help but smile back. Cas had a contagious, beautiful smile. It was so bright, it was like the damn sun. 

“So,” Dean murmured, poking Cas in the stomach. “What are you feeding me?”

“Something resembling a beef stew,” Cas answered, reaching out to take Dean's hand. He entwined their fingers and brought their hands up to kiss Dean's fingertips. “How does that sound?”

“Sounds awesome,” Dean smiled and squeezed Cas’s hand. “Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much in my entire life. I’m actually  _ gaining _ weight.” Without much thought, Dean lifted his shirt enough to show his stomach. He poked at it, practically grinning when he felt squishy fat. 

“Knew you would,” Cas grinned. “It's kind of one of Missouri's specialities, being the mother hen that she is. She won't rest until you have a little extra to store for the winter.” He grunted as he stood, then stretched his arms behind his back, rolling his neck. Dean watched as he went to the cabinet in the corner and pulled out the familiar gold box, placing one of the tightly wrapped joints between his teeth. He turned and caught Dean staring, giving him a toothy grin and pulling the joint from between his teeth, holding it up between them. 

“Wanna share this with me?”

Dean licked his lips, a nervous gesture, and eyed the joint warily. Far be it from him to judge recreational drug use, he just never let himself be under any kind of influence. Too risky for an Omega on his own trying to hide from Alphas and anyone else who wanted to take advantage. But...this  _ was _ Cas, and the Alpha has proven over again he was trustworthy. 

Dean finally nodded, earning another gummy smile as Cas lit it up. He took a drag, sighed, and held it out to the Omega. 

“Slowly.” 

Dean brought it to his lips and inhaled just a little, slowly like Cas said. He blinked, bringing it away from his lips and rolling it in his fingers. He licked his lips again and took another drag, a little longer this time. 

He started coughing, holding his arm in front of his mouth. Cas chuckled and rubbed his back with one hand, taking the joint with the other. 

“Maybe let that sink in for a minute. Might not need anymore. The first time’s a little more intense.” 

Cas flopped down and nudged Dean’s leg playfully with a foot. He placed the joint between his lips and took a drag, pulling it away again and inhaling with a smile. 

Dean watched curiously, blinking slowly and rubbing the back of his neck. He watched the smoke dissipate into the air then looked back at Cas, shaking his head slightly. 

“Feel...weird,” he mumbled, grabbing and wrapping his fingers around Cas’s ankle. “Is that good?” 

Cas shrugged. “That's normal.” He stretched out, letting his legs rest over Dean's lap. He rolled the joint between his fingers, eyeing Dean curiously. “Is it good weird or bad weird?”

Dean blinked and thought for a moment, then shrugged and rested his hands on Cas’s legs. “Good weird, I guess. Don’t feel  _ bad _ anyway.” He watched Cas inhale again, eyes fixated on his lips before he forced himself to look away. “Did, uh...you did this with her, or after…?” 

Cas inhaled deeply and shook his head, frowning. He looked down at the joint in his hands and blew the smoke at it, watching it light under the force of the air. 

“No, she detested it,” he smiled softly and looked up at Dean, eyes red and squinty. “I guess it's always been a hobby, but it's become a bit habitual. Should probably quit.”

Dean shrugged and reached out for the joint, Cas handing it over wordlessly and watching closely as the Omega took another small puff. He huffed and shook his head, coughing once and handing it back. 

“Long as it doesn’t hurt you, why quit?” Dean licked his lips, blinking a few times through the fuzziness. It was a good thing he trusted Cas, because a few more inhales of the stuff would have him pretty boneless. “Why, um. Why do you think it’s become a habit?” 

Cas shrugged. “Dunno.” He looked at the joint again, frowning at it. “I guess because it's… an escape. Gives me a chance to put everything on hold, quiet my brain a little.” He gestured to Dean. “Keeps me from jumping your bones every time you get the least bit excited.” 

He huffed a laugh when Dean flushed, taking a puff and blowing the smoke through his nose. “Honestly though? It's kind of grounding. It throws me off my game just enough to keep my Alpha brain balanced. Makes it easier for me to make sound decisions that are best for the pack without that dominant side dictating them for me.”

Dean tilted his head. It was hard to imagine Cas having a dominating side, but Dean knew it was there. He’d seen hints of it before. He wondered what would happen if Cas skipped it for a day or two, and then pushed the thought away. Even his fuzzy head didn’t want to imagine that scenario. 

Dean sighed softly and turned to face Cas, leaning back on the frame of the futon. He stretched his legs out, tangling them with Cas’s, and blinked at the Alpha’a squinty gaze. He smiled. Cas looked cute when he squinted. 

Cas smiled back and hit the joint one more time before leaning over the side of the futon and tapping what was left of it out in the ashtray. He held out a hand to Dean and crooked a finger, motioning him forward. 

“Come here to me, sweet Omega,” he said softly, quirking a smile. 

Dean blushed and moved to crawl forward, but it seemed his mind wasn’t the only thing that was foggy. He was uncoordinated as he shifted and ended up half sprawled and half straddling the Alpha, all the while his face blooming a bright red. 

“Um, hi,” Dean cleared his throat, looking up at Cas, his face near the other’s chest and a hand splayed across his stomach. 

“Hello.” Cas smiled and ran a hand through Dean's hair, letting it come to rest on his neck. He tipped Dean’s chin up with the other hand, kissing him chastely on the lips. He shifted under him, pulling him further up his body and wrapping his arms around, the beginnings of a purr rumbling in his chest. 

Dean wrapped himself around the Alpha, his body feeling heavy and floaty all at the same time, and rested his cheek just under Cas’s chin. The deep rumbling from Cas’s chest vibrated and Dean purred along with it. He chanced a quick, small sniff and his purr deepened with the scent of his Alpha, the smell calm and possessing, wrapping around him. 

He doesn't know how long they stayed that way, just enjoying each other's warmth and closeness, but Cas finally heaved a sigh and his hands moved gently over Dean’s back. 

“I should start making dinner but I really,  _ really  _ don't want to get up right now.”

“Mmm, then don’t,” Dean mumbled, burrowing into Cas’s chest and sighing. “Comfortable. Move and...and I’ll bite you.” Not much of a threat, considering how lazy he was currently being and his tiny-compared to Alpha-size fangs.

Cas chuckled and ran his fingers up through Dean's hair again. 

“Don't tease. I might like it.”

Even through his joking tone Dean could detect a hint of sincerity, and it probably excited him more than it should have. 

Dean blushed and licked his lips, seriously thinking about it, then shook his head slightly. Better not. Biting of any kind, especially with an Alpha (even a weirdly calm and in control one), always lead to  _ things _ . And Dean wasn’t sure if he was ready for  _ things _ .

Forcing biting and other thoughts away, before he got too excited, and reluctantly pushed himself up on his hands and knees. He hovered over Cas, blinking down at blue eyes. “Um...food. We should do that.” Dean nodded, mostly to himself, but didn’t make any other move to get up.

“Yeah. Okay.” Cas smirked as he reached up and pulled Dean’s head down, pressing their lips together. He relaxed his hold enough to let Dean pull away slightly. “Sure.” 

But instead of moving to get up, he pulled Dean down to him and kissed him again, longer this time, his tongue barely brushing his bottom lip. A small, breathy moan escaped as he pulled away, blue eyes fixating on Dean’s green. 

Dean huffed slightly, this time the blush on his cheeks having nothing to do with embarrassment or shyness. He bit at his bottom lip then tasted it with his tongue, shuddering as he dove in for another kiss. Cas accepted him easily and this time when the Alpha’s tongue brushed against him, Dean opened up and fought the shy fluttering of butterflies in his stomach as the tips of their tongues slid together.

Cas moaned again as his tongue met Dean's and together they deepened the kiss. He pulled the Omega’s body flush with his own and ran his hands down, pressing his palms to his lower back. Involuntarily his hips rolled once along with the movement of his tongue, pressing his erection against Dean's pelvis. 

Dean’s hips stuttered as he tried to pull away and grind back at the same time. Cas felt huge against him, incessant, even though the Alpha had only pressed into him once. Through the haze that was his brain right now, Dean felt the stirrings of fear, but it was muted. Slow to respond. Like his brain was too tired to care. Maybe it was the weed, but Dean didn’t know. He’d never had the stuff before for this very reason. 

But, this was Cas. And it  _ did  _ feel good, if the slick starting to trickle out was any indication. And really, what did he expect when he started this little kissing session.  Cas was still an Alpha and his body was going to react whether he wanted it to or not. 

Dean put an end to his circling thoughts and broke their kiss slowly, breathing heavily, and rested Cas’s hold on him. It was firm, but not forcing in any way. Dean could get away if he wanted to. And he found he really didn’t want to. The erection against him was terrifying and alluring, and he thought that as long as things stayed underneath the denim (and he wasn’t pinned) it would be okay. 

So Dean dove in for another kiss, opening immediately, and let Cas press against him all he wanted. 

Cas’s tongue explored his mouth eagerly, his hands in his hair then pulling him against him by his waist. He whined low in his throat when Dean’s tongue collided with his and they began to move slowly together. Cas tasted like nothing Dean had ever experienced before, bittersweet and overpowering, clouding all his senses. Which was the point, since when it came to sex Alphas and Omegas especially were fueled almost entirely by their senses as opposed to feelings. It's why they became practically mindless during heats and ruts, motivated by instinct. 

But Dean  _ wasn't _ in heat now and was still becoming frighteningly out of control of himself. Not that he was afraid Cas would take it too far, although admittedly Dean was probably putting way more trust in the Alpha than he logically should. He knew that if it were up to Cas and his tumultuous past weren't an issue, Cas would have him face down on the futon by now, his knot buried deep inside. 

The thought shouldn't have excited him as much as it did. 

His body shuddered at the image, his channel clenching around the imaginary knot. A part of him really wanted that, slicked at the thought, while another part shrinked with fear of another Alpha having his way. It was exhausting, really, how much he warred with himself every time him and Cas got even a little bit physical. 

It didn’t help that his overactive body responded so readily to the Alpha, his slick sliding down his thighs and his cock straining against his jeans. Dean moaned and rolled, their bulges pressing together. The smell of his slick was heavy in the air and mixing with Alpha’s dominating arousal. This simple kissing session was quickly unraveling into something else entirely and Dean was too foggy to pull away. Alarm bells were going off in his head, but there was a slippery tongue in his mouth and a hand sneaking under the waistband of his pants, and his body was pulsing with the need to have a fat knot spread it open.

The hand stopped just inside his waistband, nails biting into the meat of his ass as Cas made an effort to still it. Something between a growl and a purr rose up through his chest and rumbled against Dean's lips and Cas nibbled gently at his bottom lip, smoothing back over with his tongue. 

“Dean,” Cas managed breathily against his lips, “ _ hnnghh _ … Dean, please… let  _ me  _ take care of  _ you.” _

He pulled away, blue eyes wide and pupils dilated with lust. Dean noticed vaguely that Cas’s hand left his jeans and both were now holding his face tenderly. He shifted very intentionally, watching Cas’s face as he rubbed their cocks together again. 

“ _ Dean _ .”

“ ‘s okay...this is okay,” Dean murmured, eyes flitting down to watch as his own hips rolled forward. He bit his lip and let out a sharp exhale. He was about 99% sure this was okay, anyway. It was very possible this was the weed talking, but Dean felt almost certain that it wasn’t. He felt mostly in control and Alpha was underneath him, letting him set the pace.

He shifted and pressed down again, grinding their clothed cocks together, moaning and purring. Dean turned his head to nibble at Cas’s palm, breathing in the scent of Alpha and the weird smelling smoke that always made his nose twitch.

_ “Dean...I should…”  _ Cas panted and swallowed hard, grunting as Dean rubbed against him. “ _ Should....”  _ he pulled gently at Dean’s lip with his thumb, “ _ dinner…” _

His hands found their way to Dean’s back and rucked his shirt up, pressing them to his skin. Their lips met briefly and Cas worked his way down to Dean’s neck, teeth scraping and tongue soothing, lips finally latching on at the base and sucking gently. 

Dean tensed slightly when he felt the Alpha’s fangs against his skin, heart speeding up as he registered the fear underneath all the fog. But the fangs were gone quickly and replaced by tongue and lips, and Dean relaxed noticeably. His purr sputtered in and out as he rolled again, shuddering when his slick slid down his thighs. They probably  _ should _ stop, because he could only push an Alpha so far. Dean’s never dreamed he could ever actually get this far, though. He didn’t understand it, but he felt comfortable with Cas enough to test the boundaries he’s lived by his whole life.

The Omega tilted his head back slightly, giving Alpha more room, swallowing past the lump of fear and excitement in his throat. Cas’s lips were replaced again by his tongue, laving over his pulse point and back up to his jaw. A hand came to rest on the opposite side of his neck, thumb brushing overheated skin. Cas rolled his hips hard and groaned, then both hands were on Dean’s shoulders and holding him back again, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted and slick with saliva. 

“Dean.” Cas’s voice was rough with his arousal, pupils matching the desperate need, nostrils flaring. “Please. I ca-” he cleared his throat and swallowed hard, “we should stop.”

Dean whined and clung to Cas desperately, a hand gripping the front of the Alpha’s skewed shirt. His scent flared to lure Alpha back in, but Dean shook himself to rein it in. Cas was right. They needed to stop before things got too far and he ended up pinned beneath a lust crazed Alpha.

“Okay…” he said roughly, ignoring the fresh trail of slick seeping out. “Okay...stop. Right.” Dean breathed heavily and looked up at Cas with a flushed face. “Sorry.”

Cas huffed a laugh and shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not like I wasn’t enjoying it.” He pushed some of the hair off Dean’s forehead and cupped the side of his face. “I just...like I said, I’d rather be safe than sorry. I don’t want to rush this.” He pressed his lips together and sighed, then sat up and moved Dean gently beside him, resting a hand on his thigh. “I want you to be ready. I want you to  _ know  _ that you’re ready, not feel like you’re pushing yourself too far. If there’s even a question about how you feel about it, I would rather wait. Okay?”

Dean wrapped his fingers around Cas’s hand, thumb pressing on the knuckles. “Yeah...okay. I just…” He huffed and shifted uncomfortably, his slick and cock making things awkward. “I don’t  _ know _ if I’ll ever…. _ know _ . Gets confusing.” He looked to Cas a bit helplessly. “How am I supposed to know when I’m ready if I don’t...know?”

“When it’s not scary,” Cas said simply, squeezing his hand. “Dean, you can barely even talk about what happened. And I know you’re strong and you’re trying to just muscle past how you feel but you can’t always do that. You’re terrified. Of them, of me, of yourself. I can hear it.” He raised their hands to Dean’s chest, tapping them over his heart. “I don’t want you to do something because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t, either. I’m not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world.”

Dean huffed and wanted to argue, because he was just stubborn that way, but it was hard when Cas was being so  _ logical _ about everything. The Alpha was too damn smart. They haven’t known each other for that long, but Cas seemed to know more about him than Dean did.

“...’m not terrified,” he mumbled under his breath, staring down at their joined hands. “Just...cautious.” Which was a total lie, but  _ terrified _ made him sound like a pup.

“Okay, cautious, then,” Cas said, shifting to lean back against the futon, bringing his legs up with him. He winced and adjusted himself, then clasped his hands together in his lap. “Believe it or not, I get it. I’ve seen it a lot with other Omegas. I saw it with Charlie, and with my own mate.” He looked to the window and sighed. “Truth be told, I’m scared too. And I know I’m not supposed to be, because I’m an Alpha, a camp leader, but I am. I’m scared of letting my people down, I’m scared of hurting you, I’m scared of whether or not I’m raising my daughter the right way.” He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers. “And honestly? I’m probably just as afraid to knot you as you are to be knotted.”

Dean’s eyes widened, but he quickly schooled his features despite the shock that ran through him. It was hard to imagine Cas afraid of anything and he felt like an ass for thinking this was only about him. Of course Cas would be nervous, scared even, about all of this. Not only because he might hurt Dean, but because knotting (especially during heats) meant a high risk of pregnancy. Birth is what killed his first mate. He wouldn’t want to lose another one like that.

Dean reached out and covered Cas’s hands with his own. “I’m sorry. Didn’t...think about any of that. I don’t think you could ever let your pack down...and Rory is a good pup. Bit invasive, but…” He shrugged with a small smile. “She’s good because you’re good.”

Cas smiled and shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. This is not about me. I was just letting you know that, you know...you’re not alone.” He shrugged. “We can be afraid together. And we can overcome it together.”

Dean nodded slowly and leaned slightly against Cas’s shoulder, his smile still in place. He supposed if Cas was with him, he could overcome all this crap. And if he could help Cas overcome his as well, then that was even better. 

“Should probably...start dinner,” Dean muttered, glancing down at the still impressive bulge Cas was sporting. “Before we get distracted again. If you can even cook with that.”

Cas snorted and ran a hand over his face. “What’s life without obstacles?”

He stood and adjusted himself again, giving Dean a mischievous wink. He walked over to the kitchen area, no more than a small sink and countertop, and started cutting up the slab of salted meat. When he was done, he put it all in a large pot along with the vegetables, adding water and other fresh herbs to the mix. Dean watched him move about in silence, drawing his legs up onto the futon with him. 

“Rory has grown rather fond of you,” Cas said finally, turning to him with the full pot and walking it over to the stove. “She talks about you all the time.”

Dean chewed his lips and rested his chin on the back of the futon, watching Cas fiddle with the stove for a moment. “Don’t know why,” he snorted as the small flame sparked underneath the pot. “Not exactly nice…” 

He wasn’t exactly mean either, but he was pretty gruff with her most of the time. Why the kid thought them besties was beyond him. 

Cas shrugged. “Doesn't take much. I don't think she's ever known a stranger. Dunno if that's good or bad.” He poked around at the wood beneath the pot until it was burning hot, then turned back to Dean. “I know it's hard for you, being around pups. Especially one as… precocious as Rory. And I don't want to push you, or make you uncomfortable, but...I need you understand, whatever becomes of this,” he gestured between them, “Rory will always come first. She has to. And I...I just really want to make it clear that I don't expect you to be her parent, but… we're a packaged deal. She's a part of me.”

Dean nodded silently, looking down at his hands in his lap as he fiddled with his fingers. He knew all of this, of course, and still couldn’t help that inkling of anxiety and jealousy that crept up. He wondered, briefly, what it would be like to ‘come first’ with anyone then thought that was unfair. Pups always came first (except him when  _ he  _ was a pup), especially ones who had no mother and whose father was the Alpha. If Dean didn’t fit into their lives as Cas’s mate, then he would just have to step aside. And if he did get lucky enough to become Cas’s mate, he’d have to live with always being second.

Actually, Dean thought after a moment, he’d be third. The pack probably comes second.

He supposed it was good then that Rory seemed to like him. Made the chances of this working higher. And it wasn’t like he didn’t like her. Dean just couldn’t stop that feeling of discomfort he felt around all pups. Rory was a bit easier since she basically forced herself on him, but it was still there.

Cas sighed and walked over to Dean, taking his face between his hands. 

“I don't expect anything from you when it comes to her besides your understanding. I'll never expect you to care for her daily like other Omegas around here, like Charlie, or Donna, or Jody.” He leaned down and kissed him softly. “I'm going to give everything I can to you. But I give my all to her too. And I just ask that you give her a chance. She's a good kid. She likes you. Just… try. Okay? For me.”

Dean nodded, thinking none of that was really the problem but not voicing it either. He was selfish in wanting Cas to himself, if just for a little while. Maybe it was because he’s been alone for so long and all he’s had to think about was himself. He hadn’t had the ability to care for anyone else. But to be fair, no one had cared for him either. Not even his own parents. Wanting someone’s undivided attention was not all that surprising.

“Okay,” was all he said, offering Cas a small smile. 

Cas looked at him for a long time, eyes searching his face. 

“Okay,” he said finally, placing a hand on the back of Dean's neck and pulling him forward to kiss his forehead. He sat beside him with a sigh, rearranging Dean so that his head laid in his lap, his fingers brushing through his hair. 

“I'd love to know more about you, if you're willing to share,” Cas said softly. “Anything you can tell me.”

Dean splayed his fingers across Cas’s leg as he thought. It’s not that it was difficult to talk about, but just that he didn’t think his life was very interesting. It had just been about survival. 

“I...um, lived in a gas station.” 

A pause. 

“Really?” 

Dean smiled and nodded, fingers poking at Cas’s knee. “After  _ that _ , I got as far away from settlements as I could. Walked this old highway for days until I found it. Lucky, too. Went into another heat. It kept me hidden. So I just stayed.” 

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Taught myself to hunt, fish...except I never had a fishing rod. Had to catch them with my hands.” He snorted and shrugged. “Was never really enough, though. Always on the brink of starvation.” 

Dean licked his lips and rubbed his cheek on Cas’s legs. “Can’t read. Can’t write. I can spell my name and that’s pretty much it. I did...draw sometimes. On anything I could. Mostly the walls.” 

“You draw?” Cas raised his eyebrows and brushed his fingers down Dean's cheek. He hummed softly, his eyebrows knitting together thoughtfully. “I'd love for you to draw something for me sometime.” He smiled down at Dean, eyes crinkling in the corners. “You know… Jody maybe could use you sometime. Perhaps to draw for some of her tattoos. I could ask her, if you'd like.”

Dean blushed and shook his head, or tried anyway. Hard to do when he was using Cas as a pillow. “No, I’m not good enough for tattoos...just something I did when I felt...lonely.” 

He looked up at Cas and smiled shyly. “I could draw something for you, though. If you want.” 

“I would  _ love _ that,” Cas said enthusiastically. “I bet you're incredible. Rory likes to write stories. I'm sure she'd love to help teach you to read and write, if you want. And I could help too.” He shrugged. “There's nothing to it. And then you could read some of the many books we have here at the compound.”

“Not that good,” he mumbled, hiding his face in Cas’s thigh because he was  _ blushing _ again. Alpha made him do that a lot. “Not, um, sure how fast I can learn to read or write. Can try, but I’m not…” Dean sighed and fiddled with Cas’s pants. If he said stupid he knew Cas would get upset, but he’s never felt particularly smart. Pups are easy to teach. They’re so young and soak up knowledge. Dean never got that chance and now he just felt he was too old to learn anything intellectual.

“Well, luckily, you won't need to learn quickly.” Cas smiled and shrugged. “Things like that take time. And as long as you stay, and I really hope you do…” Cas’s fingers found their way back into Dean's hair, “you'll have plenty of time to learn.”

Dean rolled onto his back, one leg dangling off the side of the futon, and gazed up at Cas with a barely suppressed excited smile. Not only did Cas want him to stay, but he wanted to teach him things. Reading, writing...wanted to help him grow and nurture his interests. 

Suddenly Dean reached up, wrapping his arm around Cas’s neck and pulled him down. He met Alpha halfway and their lips connected in a heated kiss, one that had Dean’s heart racing and his blood pumping. It was tongues and teeth, hair pulling and panting, until they finally broke apart. 

“You're playing quite fast and loose with my resolve, Dean,” Cas teased with a smile, although it was clear by his dilated pupils that he meant it. He licked his lips and swallowed, carding fingers through Dean's hair, chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Sorry,” Dean breathed out, licking his swollen lips as he settled his head back on Cas’s leg. He  _ was _ sorry, but not as sorry as he probably should be. Kissing Cas was amazing and Dean just couldn’t help himself. He’d been overcome with emotion and had needed a way to show Cas what his efforts to make Dean comfortable and happy meant to him. 

Cas hummed and reached down, pulling Dean up to him by his shirt, slow and gentle. Dean helped him, shifting to his hands and knees and crawling up his body, straddling Cas’s lap as they met in the middle. Cas’s hands moved down and settled on Dean’s waist under his shirt, blunt nails digging into skin as Dean parted his lips to allow his tongue entry. His teeth scraped Dean’s upper lip, tugging gently as his hands traveled up and around, pressing against his back and pulling him close. Cas’s low groan is swallowed up by Dean's tongue sliding against his own, their breaths quickening and hands roaming. 

Dean shuddered against that hard body, skin tingling where Cas dug in. No one had touched him like that since that Alpha tore into him, and Dean vaguely thought it odd he wasn’t afraid. But it wasn’t claws tearing him open, and Cas’s touch was grounding in a way Dean didn’t fully understand. 

Dean, shy and unsure, rested his hands on Cas’s chest and felt the hard muscle underneath the shirt. Cas really didn’t look it, What with all the baggy clothes, but he really was very...solid. Dean wanted to explore it, and not just in a sexual way. He wanted to know every dip and curve, every inch of this Alpha. And he wanted Cas to know every inch of  _ him _ . 

Cas’s hands moved upward, one resting between his shoulder blades and the other traveling back up out of his shirt and holding the nape of his neck. His teeth grazed Dean’s lip again, tongue smoothing over after. Dean rolled his hips experimentally and Cas responded in favor, groaning against his lips. 

_ “Dean,”  _ Cas rasped, nails scraping gently against the hairs on the nape of his neck. His hands moved down to the hem of Dean's shirt and tugged up slightly, pulling back to meet Dean’s eyes with his own. “Let me see you. Please. I'll be good.” He swallowed and nodded confidently even as his fangs barely poked out between his parted lips. His thumbs moved encouragingly in circles over Dean's skin. 

Dean licked his lips and nodded slowly, his eyes lingering on the tips of Cas’s fangs. They always stirred such strange emotions in Dean. His skin prickled on his neck as his scent flared to entice the Alpha to bite down. 

Dean pulled back enough to reach down and tug at the edge of his shirt, bringing it up over his head and tossing it to the side. He sat, bared to Cas for the first time (he vehemently refused to count his heats), and swallowed as he felt that penetrative gaze on him. His heart hammered, but he wasn’t afraid. Dean was nervous to expose his scars, his body that he hated so much. 

But Cas’s gaze was soft and he placed a comforting hand on Dean's right shoulder, giving it a squeeze. From there his hands moved up to his neck and slid back down over his chest, eyes following his fingers ghosting over tanned skin, lingering briefly on clusters of freckles. Halfway down those fingers found scars, gathering at the beginning and moving slowly down, tracing them. He touched them reverently in a way that made Dean feel unashamed, like maybe one day he'd be able to accept them as a part of who he was now, maybe one day be able to look in the mirror and see them the way Cas made him see them. Cas looked at them like works of art, like the story that brought them to the chapter they were in now. Cas looked at them like they were a call to action, like they were a part of the hero's journey. 

He followed them down where they disappeared below Dean’s waistband before he looked back up at Dean, and he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. When he pulled away he pressed kisses along the scars, watching him the whole time, brushing his thumbs across them,  _ worshipping _ him. 

Dean tried to watch,  _ wanted  _ the watch, because this was something he wanted to remember. No matter what happened down the road, he wanted to be able to come back to this moment. It proved to be too much for the Omega, though, and he closed his eyes as he took in one shaky breath after another. His hands found Cas’s hair and threaded, tugged, feeling the soft strands between his fingers. 

“Look at me.” 

Dean whined, but opened his eyes forcefully, finding Cas as the Alpha pressed another kiss to a particularly nasty looking scar. Dean shifted, wanting to run and wanting more as well. He wanted all of Cas’s attention, but his habit of self deprecation told him he didn’t deserve it. 

Cas kissed another scar, this one lower and on the opposite side. He pulled away and dropped his hands, leaving Dean missing the warmth of his touch until he realized he was removing his own shirt, and his chest heated as his blush traveled south. Cas pulled the shirt over his head and let it drop over the side of the futon, laying back and looking up Dean. There were scars of his own, of varying degrees, across his torso. Some small and round, others longer and jagged like his. Dean's eyes lingered on the tattoo and he thought of the story of Hati and Skoll, chasing a moon and sun they were never destined to catch. 

He could only imagine how Cas got those scars, though his status as Alpha offered up some explanation. Alphas were aggressive by nature and extremely territorial. Cas, though patient and gentle most of the time, was probably no exception. Especially if his pack was threatened.

With a quick glance at Cas, Dean leaned forward and lightly traced one of the scars. He bit his lips as he felt along the rough skin, feeling all the way down until it ended just under Cas’s rib. Dean exhaled slowly and slid his fingers across the Alpha’s stomach, finding another scar to feel. He took his time, mapping out every one that was available to him, appreciating what Cas was showing him, doing for him. Feeling brave, Dean leaned forward more and pressed his lips to a small scar just above a pert nipple.

He heard Cas’s breath catch, felt the rising of his chest stutter and his hands reach out to squeeze his thighs. He grunted and rolled his hips as he shifted under Dean, his hands moving up and down over the material of Dean's jeans. One hand found Dean’s and he held them both over his chest, pressing them to his heart. 

Dean licked his lips and grazed them across Cas’s chest, finding another scar to kiss softly. They were not to be ashamed of, he knew this. They were the story of an Alpha,  _ his _ Alpha, defending himself and his pack. His Omegas and their pups. They told of strength and ferociousness, bravery and tenacity. Dean wanted to know each one. 

His hands traced the ones he couldn’t get his lips on, his teeth grazing on one below Cas’s chest. Dean settled his hands on the Alpha’s hips and dug in, thumbs dipping just under the waistband of his pants.

Cas wrapped long fingers loosely around Dean’s wrists and sat up, his hands on Dean's hips guiding him slowly to his back. He hovered above him, hands in fists on either side of Dean's head. Keeping eye contact, Cas bent down to kiss his chest, following the scars down again, lavishing them with his lips and tongue. A contented purr rumbled in his chest, helping Dean to relax with his Alpha so relaxed above him, completely in control. 

Dean was grateful that Cas kept his arms free and not pinning them down. He was able to keep calm and even answered Cas’s purr with his own, rumbling as Alpha lavished him with gentle attention. He bent a knee, hooking his leg loosely around Cas’s, and arched slightly underneath him. He purr grew louder and he placed a hand on Cas’s shoulder, squeezing encouragingly. 

Cas pulled Dean’s leg higher and tighter around his waist, running his hand back down his shin and up his thigh, stopping at his waistband. He leaned down to press their foreheads together.

“You're beautiful,” he said quietly, looking down between their bodies as he traced a scar. He moved down to his waist again, kissing along his waistband, tongue darting out to dip into the curve of his hip bone. “Can't get enough of you, beautiful Omega.”

Dean blushed heavily and thought he would never get used to Cas calling him beautiful. He didn’t feel beautiful, but if Cas liked what he saw...he wasn’t going to argue. Alpha was too stubborn anyway.

He also very much enjoyed the way Cas said  _ Omega _ . Halfway between a purr and a growl, and slightly possessive.

Dean slid his hand up into Cas’s hair and carded through the strands _ ,  _ purring uncontrollably now, the sound loud and stuttering as he struggled not to moan.

Cas ducked his head and nuzzled the inside of Dean's thigh, then turned and mouthed at his crotch, his cock hardening under the fabric of his jeans. Cas moaned as he scented the hint of the first gush of slick, hands coming up to grip the jeans. Fingers grasped desperately at his waist, soothing Dean and keeping Cas grounded despite the smell of the slick invading his nostrils. 

Dean can’t stop the moan that escaped and the second gush of slick that soaked through his jeans. He’d be embarrassed if he’d been coherent enough to think about it, but Cas’s mouth was on his crotch. And that was shorting his brain and his scent was flaring like crazy, heavy and thick in the air, making Dean foggy and a bit light headed. 

“Cas,” he whispered desperately, shutting his eyes and gripping the edge of the futon so tight his knuckles were white. He arched, hips rolling, as he flushed and his hole fluttered with more slick seeping out. 

Cas groaned and shut his eyes too, pressing his forehead to Dean's stomach, purring and rocking slightly back and forth. His hands grasped at Dean’s hips and began to travel again along one of his scars, flattening against his stomach and sliding down into his waistband, stopping just as he felt coarse hair. He looked up, pupils blown and lips parted, his nostrils flaring as he took in more of Dean's scent. 

Dean didn't have to touch Cas to know the state of his arousal, and the idea of the Alpha’s cock so ready to be buried inside him excited him more than it scared him. That was a testament to Cas himself, really, how in control of himself he was while a slicking Omega preened underneath him. 

Dean blinked down at him and ran his tongue along his elongated fangs, shuddering when he heard a low growl from the Alpha. His leg tightened around Cas’s waist as he fought to control his rapidly depleting restraint. His body was ready, more than ready, and he had to arch again as slick pooled between them. Everything in him was screaming to mate, to be claimed, to  _ breed _ . And it was always like this around Cas. Being near him wreaked such havoc on Dean, but he craved it nonetheless. 

Dean breathed deep and reached down, cupping Cas’s jaw and sliding his thumb along his scruffy cheek. The course hair was somewhat grounding. He blinked and moved his thumb to stroke along the tip of a sharp fang, his hand shaking. It was very much like touching his wolf. Wild and dangerous, and he wasn’t too sure if he was going to get bitten. But exciting and addicting all the same. 

_ “Dean,” _ Cas panted, leaning up to scent his neck, tongue trailing along his collarbone. “Tell me what to do. Tell me what you need.”

He stopped and looked up at him again, hovering over him but holding back. Of course he didn’t want to push too far, or move too fast. Dean didn’t know how long he could expect Cas to be so in control of himself, although if he had to guess, he was sure he’d pull another one of his disappearing acts before he’d ever allow himself to do something Dean was uncomfortable with. Again he was reminded that Cas had been present for a brief time during his heats, and suddenly he felt bad about the things he thought when Cas hadn’t been there. The idea that he was anywhere close, no matter how in control he appeared to be, should have terrified Dean the way it did Cas.

“I don’t...I don’t know,” Dean panted, struggling to rein himself in. They couldn’t go too far, no matter how much Dean thought he wanted it. He knew once that knot came out he’d panic. But he wanted  _ something _ , and they were both too aroused for them to just will it away. 

“ _ Touch me _ ,” Dean whimpered, arching underneath Cas and purring loudly. 

Cas watched him for another second and nodded solemnly, placing hands on either side of his face when he leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. His hands slid down to his neck, then his chest, then slowly down his torso, stopping on the cock straining against his jeans. They moved to the button of his jeans and he froze, looking back up at Dean worriedly. 

“Is this...okay?”

Dean swallowed and nodded, looking down past the rapid rising and falling of his own chest. Cas hesitated another beat before finally popping the button open, followed by the zipper. He watched Dean as he gripped the waistband of the jeans and tugged them down, his eyes capturing Dean’s and holding them instead of ogling the thickening cock that he sprung forth from the constricting clothes. Cas moved slowly and deliberately, giving Dean more than enough time to change his mind. Perhaps it was necessary to his own control too, as Dean noticed he was still taking calculated breaths through his mouth.

Finally Cas did look down, Dean’s cock hard and straining upward toward his stomach. Cas’s breath hitched again and he lowered himself down, hands firmly planted on Dean’s thighs. He looked up at Dean again as he stuck his tongue out and licked a long stripe up his cock, passing it over the head to collect a bead of precum.

Dean actually keened, jerking off the futon then forcing himself back down as he breathed roughly through his mouth. The heavy scent of Alpha was starting to fog his brain completely and if he kept breathing it in he would not hesitate to get on his stomach and spread himself open. 

His eyes were wide, watching Cas with a mixture of lust and sheepishness, his cock twitching so much it was embarrassing. Dean’s legs spread a little wider on their own accord, his hips canting upwards. “Alpha,” he said roughly, licking his lips. He’d never had anyone down there like this before, and rarely did he ever touch himself even during heats. The sensations were overwhelming and his cock was already threatening to spill. 

Cas closed his mouth around the tip of Dean’s cock, his tongue smoothing over the vein on the underside. He kept his gaze on Dean, pulling off every so often to breathe, still trying his damndest not to breathe in Dean’s scent. More than once he moved his hands, seemingly with the intention of dipping lower, but he stopped himself, only allowing the wet heat of his mouth to push Dean closer to the edge. He did let his hands slide down Dean’s thighs, resting on the insides of his knees and pushing his legs out further. Dean allowed him to spread him open, with the silent understanding that that’s all it would be, and he sucked in a breath as Cas sunk down, his nose grazing short hair.

Dean bit his lip, the pink of Cas’s lips standing out in stark contrast to his perpetually tired eyes and the dark circles underneath. Cas was such an enigma, a paradox, as equally level-headed and soft and reserved as he was dominant and experienced. Both young and vibrant and old and tired. They couldn’t be more different; Cas almost twice Dean’s age and the leader of his own compound, and Dean, young and uneducated and by all accounts, inexperienced. 

And maybe that was why this worked so well. Maybe that was why Dean could let Cas do this, get closer than he’s ever let anyone else, touch him where he’d only ever been hurt before and not be afraid. There was something safe about Cas, whether it was his age and gentleness, or his dominance and experience, Dean didn’t know and didn’t really care. 

The Omega arched his back, groaning when Cas dragged his teeth up his shaft and flicked his tongue against the leaking slit. God, that felt good. Really good. Dean couldn’t believe he hadn’t let Alpha do this before, then thought it was probably very difficult for Cas to be so close to his slick without knotting him. Cas was refusing to breathe through his nose, pulling off again to suck in a breath. 

His eyes were wild, hardly any of the blue Dean loves so much showing. He dipped down again, taking Dean deep in his throat and pulling off. He took a deep breath and continued, setting a quicker pace, tongue caressing that vein and flicking at the head. His hands tightened on Dean’s knees, squeezing then sliding down to about his mid thigh to spread his legs even more. 

He was panting when he pulled off again, looking up at Dean with his mouth hanging open, giving him a glance of the slightly crooked row of bottom teeth just before his tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

“That’s it, Omega,” he praised breathlessly. “Relax for me. That’s it…”

Dean preened, eyes sliding shut as he arched off the futon. He couldn’t keep still, his lower half wanting to spread as wide as he could and present so his Alpha could slide in. He huffed, sweat trickling down his forehead, claws digging into the cushion. He felt too hot and wanted to rip the rest of his clothes off. Dean vaguely wondered if this would trigger another heat, but if that was in his scent Cas would know it. 

He purred and jerked when Alpha grazed a tip of his fang against his swollen head, pre cum slipping out almost as much as his slick was seeping out. Jesus, he was going to make a huge mess by the end of this. 

Cas shifted, straightening his body, bracing hands on Dean’s knees. The new position gave Dean an eye full of what was going on underneath his clothes, and if that wasn’t enough, the growing wet spot on the front of his pants showed Dean everything he needed to know about their current situation. He was flirting with danger, and somehow his blind faith and trust in Cas outweighed the feelings and doubts that had plagued him for ten years.

Cas swallowed him down again suddenly, causing Dean to arch up and hiss through his teeth. Without thinking he moved a hand into Cas’s hair and tugged, Cas’s responding growl vibrating around him and causing him to slick even more. He imagined Cas’s mouth wandering lower, tracing his rim with his tongue, lapping up whatever slick he could get to.

Dean eyed Castiel hungrily, his mouth opening to beg for a knot, to plead for Alpha to claim him properly, but he was just coherent enough to stop himself. He growled in frustration at himself and lifted his hips, burying his cock deeper down Cas’s throat then abruptly snapping his hips back down. 

“S-sorry,” Dean flushed, licking his lips nervously. That was just what the Alpha needed, his Omega choking him with cock so he’d have to breathe through his nose. Dean was sure if Cas even got so much as a whiff now he’d lose whatever control he had. And damn it, that thought excited him more than it should. 

Cas picked up the pace again, repeatedly swallowing Dean down and lavishing his cock with his tongue. He reached down between them and palmed his own cock, squeezing his eyes shut. His nostrils flared and he froze momentarily, bracing himself with both hands on Dean's knees, nails biting into skin. He pulled off and shook his head to will away the scent, but Dean didn't miss the flash of fangs and his jaw clenching as he tried to rein himself back in. 

He bent back down stiffly, kissing Dean’s abdomen and down to his pubic hair. He froze again and Dean held his breath as Cas inhaled slowly and deeply through his nose, hands still tight on his thighs.

_ “Dean _ ,” he managed roughly, eyes closed. “You…”

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispered back, his breath coming out in a rough exhale. “I can’t help it. Not...not used to this.” 

He tried to get himself to move, or something, but his body wasn’t listening this time. It was too close to the Alpha, the scent of Cas’s arousal too strong to deny. 

Dean growled and pulled Cas down to him, aligning his free cock with the Alpha’a trapped one. He buried his nose in Cas’s neck, breathing in that heady scent greedily as he rocked his hips upward. He groaned loudly when denim scraped against him and rolled his hips again, shuddering as his cock twitched. 

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and thrust against him, a growl rising from his throat through his panting. He pressed their bodies flush, skin sliding against skin as he continued the slow drag of his hips. 

He ducked his head and pressed his lips against Dean's shoulder, groaning as he rutted against him. He might has well have been wearing nothing for how well Dean could feel the outline of his cock through the material. 

Dean moaned, throwing his head back and wrapped his legs tight around Cas’s waist to squeeze it between his thighs. He let his body go, to do what it naturally did since he couldn’t think straight anyway. He rolled his hips, rubbing his cock on the rough fabric of Cas’s jeans and groaning every time he felt the swell of a knot. He was too far gone to be afraid, just wanting to get his Alpha off. 

Cas let out a muffled grunt against his shoulder and his hands reached up behind Dean to grip his shoulders, slowly dragging his hips up. His pace quickened but he kept kissing his shoulder and along his neck so gently that Dean almost forgot about the fangs. Cas pulled one arm from behind Dean’s back and held the side of his face, dragging their lips together. His tongue slipped inside as he thrust up and moaned into Dean's mouth. 

Dean poured everything he had into that kiss, his eagerness making up for lack of skill and experience. He let his mouth do what he wouldn’t let the rest of his body do. He took Cas inside, opening wide for him. The Omega whined, arching and rutting desperately as Alpha plunged that tongue in and out, fucking his mouth as their bodies rubbed against each other. Dean clung desperately to him and abruptly broke the kiss when he came, arching clear off the futon. His pants, already soaked from slick were ruined further by his cum as his cock kicked and spilled between their bodies. 

“ _ Alpha _ ,” Dean panted brokenly, his hips jerking and stuttering, nails digging marks into Cas’s shoulders. 

Cas groaned and pressed his forehead back to Dean's shoulder as he followed closely behind, one hand moving up to rest on his cheek. He pressed a thumb between Dean's lips as he moved slowly, his cock twitching as he came. When the second orgasm overtook him his hand dropped to Dean’s waist and slid down, tracing fingers through the mess in his pubic hair. 

“ _ Smell so good, Omega,” _ Cas moaned into his ear, his hand dipping lower, stopping just below his cock. “ _ You're incredible, Dean, so perfect…” _

Dean jerked weakly, his cock overly sensitive as it softened between them. The denim of Cas’s jeans were wet, his seed soaking through easily and smearing across Dean’s belly to mix with his own. The scent was intoxicating, addicting, and Dean breathed it in with greedy lust. A part of him yelled that all that precious seed was going to waste again, but it was easy to ignore with Cas whispering hotly into his ear. Dean soaked up the praise, purring endlessly and groaning when it induced more slick. Even after an orgasm his body still wanted that knot buried deep inside. 

Cas inhaled against his neck again, pressing a kiss there and moving down, tongue darting out to taste him. His hips stuttered as he came a third time, seed leaking out weakly between their stomachs. His hand between them palmed at Dean’s softening cock, then long fingers moved slowly downward, pressing tantalizingly against his perineum. Dean stiffened but his hole clenched expectantly, forcing out new slick. Cas groaned and buried his face in Dean’s neck to inhale deeply, following it with his tongue.

Dean didn’t dare move, but he didn’t exactly try to pull away either. He knew Cas wasn’t intentionally trying to take advantage. He was merely in the heat of it all, Dean’s scent clouding his brain and the slick was just  _ everywhere _ that there was no avoiding the smell. Still, when Cas’s hand dipped just a little lower than what was comfortable Dean growled softly in warning. This seemed to shake Cas out of whatever spell he was under and the Alpha moved his hand up, kissing Dean’s collarbone in a silent apology.  

Cas shifted to Dean’s side and pulled him into his arms, pressing his lips to his forehead for a long moment. Dean relaxed again, and the muscles he hadn’t realized were tense started to let go, letting himself melt into Alpha’s touch. 

Cas pulled back to rest their foreheads together, and Dean noticed the beautiful blue he loved so much returning as his pupils shrank. The fangs had disappeared now too, and Dean wondered briefly if Cas had purposely waited until they had before turning to face him. 

Even as they lay there, even after Dean definitively stopped Cas from exploring his body further, his hole still clenched and ached for Cas’s knot...which was still decently swollen and pressing against his front. Cas’s hands were in his hair, his eyes seemingly staring straight through into his soul. They said nothing for a long time. After all, nothing they could say could come close to how Dean was feeling now, and if Cas was anything like him he felt the same way.

Cas’s eyes searched his face, the perpetual dark circles under his eyes making him look older, sadder...a grave reminder of his status, his age, his experience. Cas’s eyes gave Dean the feeling that there was so much more to learn about the Alpha, stories from before the world was broken. It was strange how whenever Dean tried to imagine Castiel from years before, he always imagined him with Ysabella. Even stranger, the images didn’t make him envious, they kind of made him...happy. Because each time he could picture a healthy, happy, young Castiel, and she was the one making him happy. Dean decided that he liked that look on Cas...the look of being in love. He thought maybe...perhaps...he’d be lucky enough to see it again.

Maybe even be lucky enough to be the cause of his new happiness. Sometimes when Cas smiled at him, some of the weariness lifted from his tired face and Dean thought he could glimpse at the vibrant Alpha underneath.

Dean stretched his hand up and gently traced the outlines of Cas’s cheekbones, skin warm and a bit rough under his fingers. He was a little sad he never got to see the younger Cas, but it hardly mattered. This Castiel, here and now, was handsome and kind and gentle and everything Dean never thought was possible in an Alpha. He was…

“Beautiful,” Dean murmured, fingers sliding down to feel along the hard jawline and he smiled at the small gray hairs that caught on the pads of his fingers.

Cas smiled and his eyes crinkled in the corners. He reached up to stroke Dean's cheek.

“Likewise,” he said softly, “although I must say, one of us is infinitely more beautiful than the other. And it's not me.” He chuckled and hummed, threading fingers through Dean's hair. “I don't deserve you.”

“That’s not true,” Dean said with the utmost sincerity. It was a bold thing to say, because he really didn’t know much about Cas yet (despite the fact that they just grinded on each other like horny teenagers). There was no telling what the Alpha has done in his past, but Dean knew with absolute certainty that Cas deserved love and happiness, and Dean very badly wanted to be the one to give it to him.

Cas’s smile faded and he licked his lips quickly, his brow furrowing.

“Dean, I'm sorry if this is too forward, but…” he took a deep breath and let it out. “Have you gone back to speak with Garth any more? I know it's difficult for you, but I… Garth really helped me when I was going through a hard time. I think he could help you, too.”

Dean frowned and looked away, his hand falling to lay limply on his chest. He sighed and closed his eyes, wondering why Cas felt the need to bring this up  _ now. _ “Don’t like talkin’ to him,” he muttered, shifting to lay on his side with Cas at his back. “Found someone else to talk to.” He regretted it the moment he said it, because if Cas asked how to hell was he going to explain that he sneaks off at night to talk to some alpha wolf that prowled the forest? Although it seemed the wolf wanted nothing to do with him now if the last encounter was anything to go by.

“Oh?”

Cas propped head on his elbow, cocking an eyebrow. “Well that's… good, then. I don't want to tell you what to do, obviously, it's just...I know talking helps. I still speak with Garth once a week or so. About everything, nothing. I wouldn't be where I am now… emotionally, if it weren't for him.”

Dean traced a pattern into the futon cushion and shrugged. “Don’t feel...um, comfortable with Garth. Hard to talk to him. My... _ friend  _ is easier.” The wolf didn’t force anything out of him, only listened and offered a comforting...paw. Dean hoped he still had his wolf and began to plan when he could sneak off again to find the furry alpha.

Cas smiled and chewed his lip, then leaned forward and kissed him. He pulled away and traced a thumb over Dean's lip, forehead creased with thought. 

“What about me? Why don't you talk to me, then?”

“I do…” Dean trailed off and frowned thoughtfully. He supposed he didn’t really talk to Cas, not like he did with the wolf. He’s always been a man of few words and the few conversations they’ve had mostly consisted of Castiel talking and Dean listening. It wasn’t Alpha’s doing, of course. Cas has tried to get Dean to talk, but he always clammed up when probed with questions.

“I don’t...I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean said, looking up at the other with pleading eyes. “It’s just...it’s hard. Should be easier; you’re so patient. But you’re also…” he swallowed and looked down, “... _ intense _ . Like when you look at me. Feels like you can see everything and it’s scary. Spent so long hiding.”

“Dean, I just want to-” Cas closed his eyes for a long time and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I just… want to _ know _ you. To understand you. I want to be able to properly take care of you, and I want you to trust that I'm not going anywhere even when I know everything about your past. If you… can't  _ talk  _ to me, then you don't trust me. And I… I'm not sure how much I can do with that.”

He frowned and leaned forward, kissing Dean again on the forehead. With a sigh he got up and walked across the floor and disappeared into the bedroom, returning a moment later with a towel that he wordlessly used to gingerly clean the mess from Dean’s stomach. 

When he deemed the job done he went into the bedroom again. He pushed the door but it left a decent sized crack, and Dean tried to ignore the strip of tanned skin he could see as Cas disrobed to change his pants. 

To distract himself from the naked Alpha in the next room and the maelstrom of guilt rolling around in his gut, Dean stood to tuck himself away, pull his shirt back on and check on the food. It actually looked done to him, maybe even a little too done. He took it off the stove and set it aside too cool, shifting on his feet and grimacing when his jeans stuck to his skin. Honestly, with the amount of slick he leaks out around Cas he should go pantless. 

Dean stared down at the stew, lost in his thoughts and it was a while before he realized Cas still hadn’t emerged from his room. Dean licked his lips, rubbing his palms on his denim, then quickly ladeled the stew into two bowls. After grabbing some spoons and, Dean tentatively eased open Cas’s bedroom door. He was a bit relieved and yet somehow disappointed to see Cas fully dressed. The Alpha was sitting at the foot of his bed, seemingly staring at nothing on the floor, hand resting over his mouth and elbow propped up on his knee. Dean swallowed nervously and silently approached, sitting beside Cas and handing him a bowl. 

“His name was Michael,” Dean said before Cas could even breathe a word of thank you. “Um...he ran an Alpha camp, I think. Or...helped. I don’t know. I avoided that pack, but I knew of it. Could smell it for miles. But I...I was stupid. Was only 15 and starving, in heat. I got too close, I guess. Not really sure how he found me, where he came from. One moment, I’m trying to catch a rabbit, the next he’s...he’s on me. I tried to run, but I was too weak. He was bigger, stronger. Took me down easily. It...hurt. Really hurt. Heats don’t last long when you’re that young. My slick dried up, but he just...kept going. I...see his face all the time. Can still smell him, too. Like something...rotten.” Dean took a breath and let it out slowly. “You...you asked me what he looked like. Dark skin, shaved head...scar along the left side of his face.” Dean closed his eyes and shuddered violently. “He said...horrible things, Cas. Things I can’t get out of my head. Sometimes I can’t sleep because of it.”

Cas opened his mouth to speak but stopped, features hardening as he looked straight ahead and swallowed hard. He looked down at his hands, fingers laced together. Clearing his throat he looked back up and at Dean, somehow conveying both sadness and anger in the same look. And there was the weary look again too, highlighting the dark circles under his eyes. 

He huffed out of his nose and reached over, taking Dean's hand and squeezing. 

“I'll find him,” Cas said finally, nodding absently. “I'll kill him.”

Dean sighed and stroked Cas’s hand, feeling the skin roughened with age and work. “As...valiant and hot as that is, that’s not why I told you.” He looked at Alpha, biting his bottom lip. “I haven’t really told anyone that. Not all of it. Never his name. I was so damn scared I didn’t tell anyone until I came here. Afraid he’d find me somehow, hunt me down…” He shook his head and placed his free hand over his stomach. “When I found out I was carrying his child, I was so...disgusted. Angry. At first I wanted to claw it out of me, kill it and me. But...it wasn’t the pup’s fault. And even though I was terrified, I wanted to keep it. But I was too sick, weak...my body just couldn’t carry it. I lost it, bled...almost died. Not even sure how I survived it.”

Cas’s eyes turned down in the corners like they did when he'd seen him upset and he swallowed hard again, looking away. He kept seeming like he wanted to say something, but deciding against it, for several minutes until he finally looked back at Dean, expression softened.

“Because you're strong,” he said assuredly, nodding. “Because you decided you weren't going to give up.” He sighed heavily and put an arm around Dean’s neck, pulling him in close and stroking his chest. “I don't believe in soulmates, or fate, but I do think there's something to be said of our situations and how we came together despite our heartbreak. It may not make sense, and it may be difficult, but I'm glad we have each other to lean on. Despite being here for mine, I felt...very much alone. Until now.” He gave Dean a sad smile and half- hearted wink. “I just… can't imagine what you've been through, who would do something like that to another person…” He set his jaw and gritted his teeth. “Thank you for sharing with me, Dean.”

Dean leaned heavily against Cas and couldn’t stop the small purr that rumbled in his chest. Funny how he never used to make that sound, had never felt happy or safe enough to do so, and now it was almost constant. 

“You’re...welcome,” he muttered awkwardly, not feeling like he really did anything. He did feel somewhat relieved, however, to get it all out. Sure, he didn’t go into the gritty details, but it wasn’t needed. Cas understood a little better now and Dean felt good to trust Cas with the information. It felt safer now. His Alpha could protect him, keep him safe, and Dean could continue to heal and get stronger. 

Dean looked up, resting his chin on Cas’s shoulders, their faces close. “Don’t want you to be lonely,” he said softly as he stroked the dark hair on Cas’s cheek. Being so close and those beautiful eyes staring right at him, Dean was suddenly struggling to breathe. Cas always left him breathless, weak-kneed, and hopelessly falling. 

“I'm not,” Cas said quickly, trying to smile. “Not anymore. I've got you.” He pulled Dean in and kissed his forehead before resting his cheek against it. “For the record, I think you would've made a great mom. Just the fact that you considered them  _ yours _ despite the circumstances… that says a lot about you. That's hard. It's admirable.”

Dean felt his ears and cheeks heat up and looked down at their laps. It was hard to think of himself as a mom, even if he technically was one for a short time. “I guess,” he mumbled with a shrug. He looked at their bowls of stew, set aside and forgotten about, and clicked his tongue. “We should eat. Before it gets cold. Missouri will know if I skip dinner. She  _ always _ knows.”

Cas huffed a laugh and took a bowl, and the two of them ate in silence. He offered Dean seconds which he refused, but it didn't stop Cas from packing the rest of it for him to take back with him to his cabin for later. 

While Cas tended to the leftovers, Dean stood and walked around the small bedroom. It was plain but Dean vaguely remembered that there was also a large bed in the main part of the cabin, and deduced quickly that this room must be Aurora’s. There were drawings hung on the walls and books in shelves, and one lone picture on the nightstand. Dean looked over to find Cas in the kitchen distracted, so he picked it up. It was grainy and worn, but he was able to make out a small- framed redhead on a bridge, leaning against the railing and smiling brightly at the man in front of her, whose back was to the camera. Even from behind Dean could tell it was Cas, his dark hair slightly less wild, his shoulders hunched the way they sometimes did when he laughed. He didn't need to see Cas’s face to know that he was looking at her the way he sometimes looked at him, like he was looking at his entire world. 

“It's the only photo I had to give her.”

Cas’s voice behind him startled him, and Dean turned quickly to find him leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, a sad smile on his face. He shrugged and pushed off the frame, taking a few steps and looking down at the frame in Dean’s hands.

“She asks about her, sometimes. Of course I don't have video or anything… but I had that. And a journal she kept. I haven't been able to read it myself, but… it's why Aurora was so keen on learning how to read.”

Dean’s eyes bounced back and forth between the picture and Cas, his thumb stroking along the simple wooden frame. “She’s beautiful,” he murmured and gently set it back down, exactly as he’d found it. “You look...happy with her.” Dean actually found himself curious about the journal. He wanted to know about their life together, wanted to know what kind of person Ysabella had been.   
“She must have been amazing,” he said, taking Cas’s hand in his. “For you to love her so much.” He tugged at the hand and managed a small smile. “You must see her in Aurora all the time.”

Cas tore his eyes from the picture and looked up at Dean, the beautiful blues a little watery. He smiled and nodded, pulling his lip between his teeth. 

“Every waking moment,” he said quietly. “More so the older she gets. She has my eyes. Everything else she got from her.” He nodded toward the frame. “Amazing how close their personalities are, considering Rory never met her.”

“Must be a ginger thing,” Dean teased and Cas managed a small smile. Dean sighed softly and wiped away a lone tear on Cas’s cheek before tugging him out of the room. They stood in the middle of the cabin, the smell of his slick and Cas’s cum still pretty thick. It made him blush and hope that the odor faded before Rory came back home. He also hoped Cas had a way to clean the futon, because it was covered in their...stuff.

He eyed the packed up leftovers and held back a sigh. He didn’t want to go back to his cabin. He had hoped Cas would ask him to stay, but he supposed that would be pushing things. Last time they fell asleep together Cas’s scent had triggered some rather heated dreams which lead to  _ things _ . Not to mention he didn’t know when Rory would be back and finding her dad sleeping with someone was probably not how Cas wanted to break things to her. 

Cas scrubbed a hand down his face and let it fall to his side. He looked at Dean fondly for a moment before taking his face in his hands and pulling him in for a lingering kiss, innocent and sweet. He pulled away and rested their foreheads together, stroking idly at Dean’s cheek.

“I'm sorry I keep… bringing her up. I know it's equally hard for you to hear. I'm just… working through some built up things, I guess.”

“Don’t do that,” Dean said with a single shake of his head. “Don’t apologize for talking about her. It’s not...not hard for the reasons you probably think. I’m glad you had her. Sorry you lost her.” He reached up and covered the hand on his cheek. “If you want to talk about her, you can. I’m not...Cas, I don’t want to replace her.”

“I know.” Cas smiled and leaned into the touch. “I don't want a… _ replacement _ for her. You're your own entity, just like she was. You light a fire in me in a different way than she did… although it's equally beautiful. You're perfect just as you are. I'd never want you to be her. You're too perfect being you.”

Dean snorted and looked down, thinking the word ‘perfect’ was not one he would use on himself. He glanced back up and slid his hand down to Cas’s neck, feeling the scratch of his scruff. “...I  _ light a fire _ , huh?” he tried to smirk, but it probably came off as more of sheepish smile. 

“In a manner of speaking,” Cas said with a smile. “You make me feel… alive again. Like a younger version of myself.” His arms snaked around Dean’s waist and pulled him close. “I don't feel like an Alpha, or a father, or a widower. I just feel like…me. It's nice to feel like something on your own, and not what your relationship to others makes you.”

Dean hummed, his heart fluttering in his chest. A hand came up to rest on Cas’s chest and he thought that sometimes moments like this were more intimate than anything sexual. Standing close to his Alpha-his Alpha-something he’d never thought he could ever do or ever want to do. Arms wrapped around him, strong and solid and gentle. 

“I like...this,” Dean said, then cleared his throat and swallowed. “Like that I make you feel good. Like that you’re...you. I...I’m not making a lot of sense.” He huffed a laugh and slightly dug his fingers into Cas’s chest.

“You make perfect sense,” Cas smiled and pressed another kiss to his forehead, giving him a final squeeze before letting go. “You should get back, before it gets too late. Charlie will have Aurora home soon.”

Dean nodded mutely and, cradling the leftovers in his arms, stepped outside into the cold. It was dark, the light of the moon reflecting off the snow, and thankfully there wasn’t much wind. He turned, giving Cas a small smile, then sighed and watched his breath come out in a fog. After receiving one last kiss on the cheek, Dean hunched his shoulders against the cold and trotted off down the hill.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean sat at his table in nothing but some loose fitting jeans, staring down at the pad of paper in front of him and tapping the tip of his pencil against his chin. He’d woken to a modest stack of art supplies on his table and the faint scent of Cas in the air. He had grinned widely while going through it, excited to show his Alpha what he could do.

Only now, an hour later, the paper was still blank and Dean was starting to lose this staring contest. He admitted silently that he was nervous. He didn’t think his skills at drawing were particularly good. Back at his old gas station, drawing had mostly consisted of scribbling on the walls with whatever he could find. Old cans of spray paint, oil, chalk...it had been a collage of sporadic inspiration brought on by pain, isolation, and the deep-seated need for someone to talk to. To create another world to escape through and leave this hellhole behind.

Now, after offering to draw Cas something, Dean just wasn’t sure his stuff was good enough for Alpha. Drawing for himself had been easy. Drawing for someone whose opinion mattered more than anyone else’s-which was scary enough- had him sweating.

But it was better than dealing with the pack right now. He had no idea if Cas had cleared things up yet or not, and Dean just didn’t have the energy to deal with the cold shoulders.

He stared at the blank paper for another half hour or so before giving up and slumping back into his bed. He'd barely begun to doze when a knock on his door startled him back onto consciousness. 

“Dean? It's Donna.”

She didn't sound her normal chipper self and Dean was immediately cautious, but he pulled himself from bed anyway and went to the door, opening it little more than a crack and shivering when the cool air made contact with his skin. Donna’s eyes were puffy and red and pieces of her hair hung in messy tendrils around her face. 

“Hiya, Dean,” she said sympathetically, tilting her head to the side. She sniffed and gestured toward him. “Wouldja mind if I came in for a minute?”

Dean mumbled something and nodded jerkily, stepping back and letting her inside. He scrounged around and found a shirt, slipping it over his shoulders. Donna was wringing her hands together and shifting nervously when he turned back to her.

“Dean, I spoke to Charlie and I just want to say I'm so, so sorry. She shouldn't have done that and we shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. We feel just awful, Dean. Please know we don't think those awful things.”

Dean shifted on his feet and his hands slipped into his pockets, shoulders hunched in a subconscious effort to hide. He wanted to tell her it was okay, but it kind of wasn’t. And if he was going to live here and, potentially be the Omega to the Alpha of this pack, he was going to have to start being honest. Or, at the very least, fight back when these sorts of things happen. His old self would have run from this, because running always meant survival. Hell, he  _ did _ try to run. Cas gave him strength, though. Made him feel just a little better about his place here.

“Maybe…,” he cleared his throat and glanced down at the floor, then straightened his shoulders and looked up. “Maybe next time just ask me. I know I’m...basically a stranger, but-”

“I know,” Donna wrung her hands together and shook her head, blinking rapidly. “I know, I’m so sorry. We just...oh I don’t even know what came over us. We just get so protective of Cas and…” She huffed and shook her head again. “It’s no excuse and I’m sorry you were the victim of stupid gossip and I want you to know that I- we- _ really _ don’t think that of you-”

“Donna.”

She abruptly stopped, looking even more distressed, until Dean pulled her into a somewhat awkward hug. He stiffly wrapped his arms around her, and she sagged with relief and returned it with vigor. Dean found out quickly that Donna was a serious hugger, squeezing his middle and pressing her cheek to his chest.

However, Dean was still...Dean, and after a few moments gently but firmly pulled away. She let him go, rubbed at her red eyes, and managed a smile. She sighed and reached out, taking his hands in hers and leading them to the bed, sitting down next to him.

“Dean, I want to make it clear that if Castiel makes you happy, and you make him happy, the pack is one hundred percent in support of that.” She squeezed his hand and nodded. “We want that for him, for you. We want that for Rory. Bella would've wanted that, too. Please don't let this sour the idea of pack mentality for you. We made a mistake.”

Dean shrugged and looked down at their hands. 

“Ya know, it's been a long time since I've seen him look this happy,” Donna continued. “And Rory, she… she's noticed it too. She talks about it all the time, how he seems different. She will understand.” 

Dean looked at their hands still, at the vast difference between him and this Omega. Her hand were paler, but soft. A mother’s hand. Smaller than his own, of course, and held him gently like they would a pup. In contrast, his were big and darker. Rough with callouses, the skin torn up from years of roughing it on his own. He supposed his hands could be gentle, too, but he felt too big and clumsy to hold something as precious as pup.

“Won’t know until we know, I guess,” Dean finally said, blinking and forcing his eyes to look up. “She’s had her dad to herself her whole life...she might not like sharing. And Cas...might decide I’m not the right Omega to...have.”

“I don't think you understand that you are the only person that I've seen Cas look at like that besides Ysabella.” Donna eyed him sincerely. “He doesn't let people in like he does with you. He's an open book, but he's also very much… _ not. _ ” She shrugged. “And trust me, Rory has had to share Castiel with the pack her whole life. She understands that it's part of who he is.”

Dean wasn’t too sure about any of that, but the way Cas smiled at him sometimes was enough to give him some hope that what Donna said was true. Certainly after last night he felt much better about it all, even if the thought of getting into a real relationship for the first time in his life- and with an Alpha no less- was frightening. 

“...I do want to get to know him more,” Dean admitted softly, clearing his throat. “It’s like you said. An open book, but...I couldn’t read a book if I wanted to, and I don’t think I’m very good at reading him.”

Donna tilted her head. “Ah, I dunno about that. Seems to me you understand him better than most. He really seems to trust you.” She paused and drummed her fingers against her thighs, then smacked them lightly. “Well. I best be goin’. Jody-o’s all by herself with a bunch of the kiddos and I need to be gettin’ back to help. I'll talk to you soon, Dean.”

She stood and placed a hand gently on his neck, smiling at him. He gave a half smile back and nodded, and she pulled her jacket tightly around her and stepped back out into the cold. 

After another unproductive half hour of staring at the paper, Dean gave up and pulled on a few more layers of clothes before slipping on his jacket and stepping outside. He need to eat some kind of breakfast or Missouri would have his hide. 

On the short journey to the kitchen, Dean received a few friendly waves which he awkwardly returned. A part of him was a bit prickly about this “pack mentality” nonsense, how quickly they turned on him despite the fact that he’d done nothing previous to warrant their passive aggressiveness. Another part somewhat understood their reaction, even if it wasn’t deserved. At any rate, he wasn’t feeling very sociable and avoided the busier path to the kitchen.

Two egg and sausage sandwiches in hand, Dean decided he didn’t want to eat in his cabin. He set off to the woods and found his spot, which was luckily under the glow of the sun so the cold wasn’t too bad. He leaned back against his tree and munched contently on his sandwiches, watching what few wildlife was out and about scurry around him. His Omega smell was so soft and unthreatening that most wildlife felt comfortable enough to be close. It certainly made hunting a bit easier for him once he had learned the basics. Though now, he supposed, he would probably starting smelling like his Alpha soon, especially if he ever got a mating bite. Their scents would mix, Cas’s being the dominant one and thus acting as a warning to anyone. A warning that the Omega was claimed and therefore not to be approached or touched.

He half expected his wolf to make an appearance, but after the first twenty minutes or so there was no such luck. It was early though, and Dean had only ever seen him out after dark. He knew he was there more often than he wasn’t though, as indicated by the huge pawprints he often found just outside of his cabin. Dean wished he’d had someone to look after him in that manner while he lived on his own and struggled through heats out in the cold, when he never knew if he’d make it through without being found. It was actually kind of incredible that his scent never drew others to find him, but he’d been lucky in finding that gas station which he supposed blocked him from much of that threat.

A twig snapped somewhere in the distance and Dean looked that direction, freezing with a bite of sandwich in his mouth. After a silent moment he began to chew slowly again, scanning the trees. The soft crunching of snow interrupted him again a moment later, getting closer, and he watched the tree line for the big mass of black hair to emerge.

Instead, it was a nosy little redhead with a purple jacket.

Dean sighed and swallowed, motioning to her with the rest of his sandwich. “What are you doin’ out here?”

Rory looked around then back at him and shrugged, crunching through the snow toward him and plopping down against a tree a few feet away. “You’re looking for him, aren’t you?”

Dean went back to munching on his sandwich, watching her warily. “Looking for who?” he asked, chewing slowly.

She gave him a look and Dean thought she was too good at that to only be a pup. Missouri had to have taught her that. 

Dean just shrugged and finished off his sandwich, crossing his arms over his chest. “Not lookin’ for anyone. Just wanted some fresh air.”

“Fresh air.”

He glared at her and didn’t miss the twinkle in her eye. “Yes,” he bit out, his tone doing nothing to deter her.

She hummed and sunk deeper into the snow, folding her hands over her belly. She watched as she shuffled her feet into the powdery snow, and Dean kept waiting for her to speak, but she didn’t. He eyed her warily.

“You follow me out here?”

She looked over at him, blue eyes just as bright as Castiel’s and shining. “No. Yes. I don’t know. Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Yeah.”

He sighed and finished off the last bite of his sandwich, brushing his hands off as he chewed. He adjusted his position, letting his hands fall between his knees as he scanned the tree line again. He coughed once and glanced back over at her, but she was uncharacteristically quiet, squinting up at the sunlight streaming through the trees. 

“So...there a reason you’re so keen on following me around?” He tongued the inside of his cheek while he waited for her to answer. She frowned up at the sky then looked down at her hands, eyebrows knit together the same way Cas’s did when he was in thought.

“Dunno. Feel comfortable, I guess.”

Dean frowned now, watching her fiddle with a stick then press it deep into the snow until she couldn’t see it anymore. He cleared his throat.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

She shrugged and looked at her hands. “Just get sad sometimes. Don’t you?”

Dean narrowed his eyes and pressed his tongue against his teeth, a leg shifting in the snow. “Yeah...yeah, sometimes.” All the time, actually, but he wasn’t going to make this about him. He tilted his head and drummed his fingers on his thigh. “Is there, uh…” Dean cleared his throat, feeling incredibly awkward. “Something specific you’re sad about?”

“My mom, I guess,” she said quietly, still not looking his direction. Somehow it made it easier for Dean when those Castiel-like eyes weren’t on him. 

Dean didn’t really know what to say to that, so they sat in silence until Rory spoke again.

“It’s weird, ‘cause...I never met her. But I miss her. But it doesn’t really make sense to miss someone you’ve never met.” She snapped another small twig between her gloved hands and threw it, watching it fall again several feet ahead.

Dean frowned and licked his slightly chapped lips. “Yes it does,” he said softly. “It’s not...really  _ her _ you’re missing. Just the...feeling, I guess, of having a mom. You have Charlie, but she’s more of a caretaker. Mom is different. And you were inside Ysabella for nine months. Whether you remember it or not, she was your whole world for a little while. Of course you miss her. It’d be weird if you didn’t.”

“Maybe.” She finally looked over at him, and his heart actually broke a little when he noticed her glassy blue eyes. She tried to smile. “Mama talked about me like she knew me, in her journal.  And she talked about how good of a mate and dad that Papa was. But she never got to meet me, and she never got to see how good of a dad that he is, and he never got to be a good mate again, and it's because of me.” Dean opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head and scoffed. “I mean, I know it's not really my fault, but it… kind of is.”

Dean clenched his jaw and thought a pup so young shouldn’t be thinking such things. She was too smart for her own good, even if she was wrong about this. 

“It’s...really not,” Dean said gently, but firmly. “A lot of factors involved with childbirth. The timing. The condition of her body. The season. Disease. She was an Omega. She... _ we _ are made to have pups. You weren’t the problem. Pups are never the problem.” He paused and tongued the inside of his cheek again. “I’m sorry she never got to meet you, but you should know...she  _ did _ know you. Trust me, okay? We know our pups before they’re born. We just do. And she knew Cas would be a good dad. She didn’t have to see that to know it. Cas will...he will be a good mate to someone. She knew that, too.” 

She looked up at him like she wanted to say something, but her silence won out and she frowned instead and looked back down at  the snow. They sat in silence for another few moments, and Dean found that he quite enjoyed her company when she wasn’t constantly grilling him about something. When she was quiet, she had the same kind of presence that Cas did...calming and gentle. Just overall nice to be around.

“Papa never acts like he wants another mate,” she said softly, then tilted her head a moment later and looked back at him curiously. “Except maybe with you. He likes you. He doesn’t hang out with other people like he does with you.”

Dean blushed and looked away, shrugging in what he hoped was nonchalant and not like an Omega desperately wanting to know what the Alpha thought of him. 

“I don’t know if your dad...um, wants another mate. And I don’t know...I don’t know where I stand with him sometimes. But I like him, too.” 

He fell silent and rubbed a hand over his face. He was having a relationship discussion with a little girl. This was so weird. He felt like it should be the other way around. 

“I want him to have another mate. I think he’d be happier. Less lonely.” 

Dean nodded absently and narrowed his eyes at the girl, who was now making snowballs and throwing them at nearby trees.

“That’s mature of you.”

“I guess.” She made another snowball and threw it, watching after it when it hit a large tree trunk. “I just want him to be happy. And it’d be cool to have another mom. Or...I guess...someone like a mom.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that, because he didn’t want to make make any promises he couldn’t keep or make assumptions about him and Cas. He watched Rory throw another snowball, the white powder starting to stick to the trunk of the tree. 

He smirked slightly and made a snowball of his own, a small one, and tossed it at her. It landed softly on her leg, the white getting all over her lap. 

She snapped her head up and smirked over at him, pulling at the strings of her stocking cap. “Hey!” 

Dean jumped up when he saw her making a rather large snowball, presumably one she intended to throw back. He ducked behind one of the small trees and laughed when she tossed the snowball at him, not making it anywhere close to where he was hidden. 

He quickly made another one and tossed it, catching her on the shoulder. He ducked back behind the tree and laughed when he heard her squawk, followed by a grumble as she made another ball. 

He poked his head out just in time for it to smash against the tree. Dean smirked at her. 

“You throw like a girl.” 

“I  _ am  _ a girl!” 

Dean huffed and ducked again, the snowball getting close this time and almost catching his shoulder. He chuckled and wiped some of the castoff snow from his face and packed another snowball, straightening up and peeking out from behind his tree. Rory was gone and he immediately went stiff, looking wildly around him on high alert. 

“Rory?”

Just silence. Where she could’ve gotten off to in a matter of seconds was beyond him, but he stepped out from behind the tree and looked around, feeling his heart rate quicken and his palms to sweat and itch despite the snow. His eyes moved faster than his brain had the ability to comprehend, and it took a few solid seconds for him to realize he was very close to panicking, and he took a few deep breaths.

“Gotcha!”

Her voice came from behind him as a wet snowball hit his calf, and he spun around and let out a breath. She hopped once toward him and giggled, but her face puzzled when she saw what was likely the look of terror on his face. He hadn’t yet had the chance to collect himself, but he swallowed and tried to smile, then nodded.

“Yeah. You got me.” He scrubbed a hand down his face and let out another relieved breath.

“Are you...okay, Dean?” She cocked her head to the side like Cas and Dean huffed a laugh, stepping forward and patting the top of her head playfully.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just...bummed you caught me, is all.”

She beamed and lurched forward, wrapping her little arms around his legs, and he let his hand rest on the back of her head.

She looked up at him, having to stretch her neck to see, and rested her chin on his knee. “I feel better now,” she smiled. 

Dean gave her a small smile back. “Good.” 

Rory held up her arms in a silent plea to be picked up. Dean hesitated then bent down and easily lifted her up, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs around his middle. Together they started walking back to the camp, albeit at a slow pace, while she chattered about how Charlie doesn’t let her have snowball fights with boys because they might hurt her, which was  _ so _ unfair because she was stronger than she looked and boys were stupid anyway. 

“Well, what does Cas say about that?” He asked knowingly, quirking a brow at her. 

Her mouth snapped shut and she looked at him indignantly, poking out a lip with a huff. “Papa said I should listen to LiLi.”

“Smart man.”

“Well  _ you _ didn't hurt me.”

“I was being very careful,” Dean said simply, giving her a smile. “People just worry about you. Your dad and Charlie especially. It's a good thing, that they care so much.”

She didn't say anything, just wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Dean swallowed, his heart thudding, his inner Omega purring at having his pup in his arms. 

_ A  _ pup. Not his. Rory wasn’t his. 

Dean sucked in a breath, not wanting to think about what that slip could possibly indicate, and focused on trudging through the snow carefully so he wouldn’t trip. “You cold?” He asked, just to break the silence. She shook her head, her cheek resting on his shoulder. 

“Nope. You’re warm.” 

Dean blushed and blinked as they cleared the trees, the sunlight hitting his eyes. He glanced around for Charlie, who was probably searching frantically for this wayward girl, but didn’t see her. 

“Did you sneak off?” Dean asked as he started towards Cas’s cabin. 

“No.” 

Dean raised a brow. 

“...yes.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “That scares them, you know,” he reprimanded. “It’s dangerous, even within the gates. You’re small and can get hurt easily.” 

“I'm not afraid.”

“Well for one, I don't think that's the issue. But,” he swallowed, resting his cheek against her forehead, “you should be a little afraid. A little cautious. Make sure someone is always there to help you.”

She lifted her head and looked at him curiously. “Is that why you're here? So you had people to help you?”

Dean glanced at her and met bright blue eyes, and he looked away quickly and cleared his throat. “Yeah… yes. Everyone needs help sometimes.”

She reached out and put a small hand on his cheek, pulling his attention back to her.

“We'll help you, Dean,” she said sincerely, patting his cheek. 

Dean blinked and once again had no idea what to say, so he merely nodded at her. She smiled and opened her mouth to say something more, until a very angry voice interrupted. 

“There you are!” 

She grimaced and hid her face in Dean’s neck, as if that would hide her from Charlie’s wrath. Dean looked up and saw Cas was with her, looking worried and shocked-probably at the fact that Dean was carrying a pup. Charlie looked apprehensive, as if she couldn’t decide if she wanted to rip Rory away from Dean or not. Dean understood. He wasn’t well known to her and had shown little interest in pups. 

“Is she hurt?” Charlie asked, walking right up to to him. Dean bristled a bit at her tone, which sounded a little accusatory to him, and frowned. 

“No,” he said evenly. “She just wanted to be held.” 

Charlie frowned and looked at Rory, who nodded vigorously and rubbed her eyes. Dean didn't know if she was really tired or playing along to make him look better, but he appreciated the gesture and ran with it. 

“Yeah, I was just going for a walk and found her. She was exhausted so I carried her back.” Dean shrugged the best he could with her in his arms, adjusting her a little higher on his hip. She turned her head and buried her face in his neck and inhaled deeply, and something twinged in Dean’s chest when he realized she was trying to scent him. Pups only did that with those they were comfortable with, especially since that instinct doesn't begin to develop until shortly before their presentations. 

He reflexively pulled her closer, leaning his head down toward hers. 

Charlie’s mouth twitched and she finally smiled warmly, reaching out and rubbing Rory on her back. 

“Thank you, Dean. That was very kind of you.”

Dean tried to shrug again, his hand instinctively coming up to cradle the back of Rory’s head. “It's no problem.”

Charlie licked her lips, glancing at Cas, who was remaining silent and looking at Dean with an expression she couldn’t read. 

“Do you want me to..take her?” she asked, gesturing to Rory. 

Dean’s arms tightened around Rory before he even realized what he was doing. He coughed and forced them to relax then shook his head slowly. 

“No. I mean...it’s fine. I, uh...got her. If you want a break or whatever.”

Charlie bit her lip and looked to Cas questioningly. The Alpha nodded once, eyes never wavering from Dean.

“Um okay then,” Charlie smiled, giving Rory’s back another rub. “Give me a hug, you little heathen.”

Rory giggled and pulled away enough from Dean to give LiLi a hug goodbye. Charlie kissed her forehead, nodded to Dean and Cas, and started off down the hill. 

Cas looked at Dean sagely, and Dean began to fidget slightly under his gaze. 

“S- sorry, she just-”

“It's quite all right,” Cas said calmly, finally smiling genuinely. 

Dean grumbled something and rubbed a hand across Rory’s back, and she let out a soft sigh. “She was just… we were-”

“I don't need an explanation, Dean.”

Cas’s tone and expression were unreadable, but he didn't look angry, so Dean nodded. 

Cas smiled again and gestured ahead of them. “Would you like to join us back at the cabin?”

Dean clicked his tongue, glancing around the camp, but Rory squirmed in his arms and answered before he could make up his mind.

“Yes, he would like that,” she said with a nod and grabbed the sides of his face with her hands. “Right?”

She blinked her big blue eyes at him and Dean sighed, knowing a lost cause when he saw one.

“Right…” he mumbled. 

Rory beamed and returned to his neck, humming happily. Dean glanced at Cas, but still couldn’t tell what the Alpha was thinking or feeling. It was disconcerting and put him on edge. He followed Cas into the cabin and finally set Rory down, who dashed to her room excitedly.

Dean turned around to see Cas watching her disappear into her room before he licked his lips and turned his attention back to Dean. 

Dean shifted on his feet. “I was just worried she-”

Before he could finish Cas stepped forward and took Dean's face in his hands, crushing their lips together. His hands traveled back into Dean's hair, gripping handfuls but not pulling, and he backed Dean slowly up against the wall of the cabin. Dean's hands reached out and fisted into the bottom of Cas’s shirt just as they pulled apart, breathing heavily. Cas’s gaze was on him again and Dean pressed his tongue nervously to the back of his teeth. 

“Papa-”

Cas’s eyes unfocused and he stepped back, scrubbing a hand down his face as Rory emerged from her room. He looked down at her and raised his eyebrows. 

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Where are my crayons?”

“Um.” Cas rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. “The drawer… in your nightstand.”

She flounced off again without another word, leaving Cas starting after her with his hands on his hips. 

Dean watched Cas curiously, the Alpha seemingly lost in his thoughts. He heard Rory humming and digging for her crayons, and wondered if he should tell Cas what Rory told him. Wondered if he even knew Rory thought about things like that. 

“We, uh...had a snowball fight,” Dean murmured, still leaning against the wall where Cas left him. “Her throw sucks. Need to teach her how to aim.” 

Cas huffed a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm no good myself, but I'm sure she'd love to learn if you wanted to teach her.”

Dean blushed and looked down at his hands, shrugging. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“I… um.” Cas looked down to, looking uncharacteristically at a loss for words. He frowned and chewed at his bottom lip. “Just… seeing you with her, it, um. I wasn't expecting… it just… it felt… it feels… nice.”

Dean smiled a little, feeling a bit more at ease, and rubbed a hand up and down his arm. “Um...good. She ain’t so bad...you know, for a pup. Don’t really mind...I mean, if Charlie ever needs a break. I can, you know, take her for a few hours.” 

Dean shrugged and glanced around nervously, biting at his bottom lip. He wasn’t so sure he was ready to look after a pup. But Rory seemed more or less easy to take care for a short time. She was smart and did most of the talking, so it wasn’t like Dean had to entertain her. 

“I appreciate that, Dean,” Cas said softly, giving him a sweet smile. 

“Hey, Dean!”

Rory’s voice snapped him out of his trance and he stepped around to see inside her room, finding her at a small desk. She gestured wildly for him to come in. 

He glanced back at Cas and quirked a smile at the wonder in his eyes, then walked inside and placed a hand on the back of her chair, leaning over her. 

“Whatcha workin’ on there?”

She shielded her drawing with her arm and took a short black crayon, drawing furiously on her paper. When she branded it finished, she sat up and handed the drawing to Dean. 

It was a picture of a forest and a stick man, with a black blob with ears by its side. 

“It's you,” she proclaimed proudly, pointing to the stick figure, then tracing her finger over to the black blob. “And Alpha.”

Dean’s eyes practically bugged out of his skull and he cleared his throat with a shake of his head. “Uh, Rory, I don’t...it’s uh…” 

He tensed when Cas came to stand beside him, looking at the picture with another one of his unreadable expressions. 

“Alpha isn’t a w-wolf,” Dean stuttered, complete at a loss of what to say. “I don’t meet other Alphas...or wolves...um…” 

Rory frowned and looked back and forth between Dean and the picture. “But-”

“Rory,” Cas started slowly, giving her a stern look. “Have you been out in the forest late at night again?”

“Well, I-”

“I have specifically told you how dangerous that can be,” he continued, his tone low and calm but taking on that underlying, purely Alpha tinge. “You don't know what's out there.”

She huffed. “But he watches out for me.”

“He's an animal.”

“He's my  _ friend. _ ”

“Rory-”

Dean didn't know what would break first, Cas’s temper or the pup’s tears, so he gestured to her with the drawing with a smile. 

“Hey, this is really good, kid,” he said warmly, bending down to give her a sideways hug. She turned and hugged him around the neck, pressing her face to his skin again. He brought a hand to her back, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. 

“He's my friend, too.”

She pulled away with a smile and looked up at Cas with pleading eyes. 

“No more, Papa.”

“Good.” His heavy sigh practically overshadowed the word itself. 

Dean wanted to roll his eyes at Cas’s over-the-top dad anxiety, but resisted the urge. He patted Rory on the head and carefully folded the picture to put in his pocket. 

“I’ll hang it up in my cabin,” he promised, earning a big smile. 

“Okay! I’ll draw more!” 

She turned in her chair, grabbed another paper, and started scribbling as she hummed. Dean smiled and walked out of the room with Cas, eyeing the Alpha carefully. It was blurry line, a gray area at best, what he was doing with this wolf. An alpha, yes, but a  _ wolf.  _ Even if they did come from them, which Dean still wasn’t too sure about, it’s not like it made them the same species. But now it felt like some kind of form of betrayal on Cas. Like he wasn’t good enough to be the only Alpha in Dean’s life. And really the whole thing was stupid anyway. He hasn’t seen the wolf since that night it  _ growled _ at him. 

“Hey, listen, I-”

Cas crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head. “Would you like to stay for lunch with us?”

Dean paused with his mouth open and quickly snapped it closed. “Uh, y- yeah. Yes. That would be… nice.”

“Wonderful.” He held up a hand and popped his head back in Rory’s room. “Hey angel, why don't you lay down for a nap? We'll have lunch in a couple of hours.”

“‘Kay.”

Cas smiled and pulled the door shut, motioning to the couch and sitting down. Dean followed and Cas pulled him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Dean didn’t quite understand why Cas wasn’t grilling him about the wolf, but wasn’t going to force the subject either. Confused, but pleased with how the day was turning out, Dean leaned in as Alpha pulled him closer. He knew better than to risk anything with Rory in the next room, so Dean simply laid his head on Cas’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist. He inevitably started purring, his cheek rubbing slightly against the strong shoulder it was pressed up against. 

Cas reached up and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, which was really getting much longer than he typically kept it. Cas’s fingertips played over his scalp and he rested his chin on top of Dean’s head, his scent relaxed and pleasant. Dean breathed it in deeply and it helped calm him too, his purr getting louder, and he fisted his hands into Cas’s shirt. 

“She asked about you last night,” Cas said out of the blue, laying a cheek against Dean’s head. “Well. She asked about  _ us _ . She asked if you were going to stay here.”

“I’d like to,” Dean said softly, his eyes closed and his body sagging against Cas’s as the fingers in his hair slowly lulled him into a half asleep state. “Like it here.” 

It was a few moments before Dean realized Cas may have not been talking about the camp, but this cabin. He supposed his answer still applied, as embarrassing as it was to have just blurted it out like that. 

“I like you being here,” Cas replied finally, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “But I, uh...I didn’t know how to answer her, because you know...you could still...change your mind.”

Dean frowned and looked up at Cas. “I guess...but I really wasn’t planning on it.” He looked to the bedroom door and wondered if Rory had dozed off yet. He really wanted to ask her about their wolf, but he couldn’t do that with Cas around. “What did you say?”

Cas looked at him and gave him a half smile. “I told her that I hoped you would. Stay, that is. Here. With all of us.” He shrugged and patted Dean’s shoulder. “And maybe one day, if you’re comfortable with it...you can stay  _ here _ . With me.”

Dean pressed his lips into a thin line and thought he’d like that  _ now _ , but it was probably too soon to expect Cas to want that. He had to think about his pup, and the fact that Dean’s heats set off his ruts. With them living in the same cabin, losing control was a real issue. 

“Yeah,” he finally said, sniffing slightly at Cas’s neck. “I’d like that. One day.” 

“Me too,” Cas said, pulling Dean’s chin up to press their lips together. He pulled back with a smile, and Dean reached up and traced one of his laugh lines. “We’ll get there. When it’s safe, when you’re comfortable, when she understands...we’ll get there.”

“Papa…”

Rory’s voice was muffled by the door, and Cas sighed. 

“Yes, daughter of mine?”

She replied too quietly to understand what she was saying. Cas shook his head and moved to get up, patting Dean on the thigh. Dean leaned against the other side of the couch and watched Cas amble to her door and disappear behind it. A moment later he was back in the doorway with a puzzled look on his face, and he gestured to Dean and back into the bedroom. He took a few steps toward Dean and shrugged.

“She wants you.”

Dean pointed a thumb to his chest. “Me?”

“Yes.”

Dean bit his lip and stood, ignoring Cas’s questioning glance as he passed by him and entered Rory’s room. She was bundled in the blankets on her bed with her stocking cap still on, the strings hanging down beside her ears. Dean huffed a laugh through his nose as he sat on the edge of her bed and pulled the cap off, throwing it on the bedside table and mussing her wavy red hair.

“Whatcha want, kid?” 

She chewed her little lip then patted the small space beside her. Dean raised a brow and she pouted, doing her best impression of a sad puppy. 

Dean sighed and stretched himself out beside her, grunting when she practically threw herself at him. The pup tucked herself underneath his chin, a small fist clutching at his shirt. 

“I’m not a teddy bear,” Dean grumbled. 

“Acceptance is the first step to-“ 

“Cut that out,” Dean huffed, rolling his eyes. Rory just smiled and looked up at him, then fidgeted nervously. 

“Just ‘til I fall asleep?” she asked sweetly. 

Dean sighed again, long and loud, then nodded. 

“Fine.” 

She pressed her cheek against his chest and let out a soft sigh of her own. They laid in silence for several minutes until he heard her breathing begin to even out, and the hand clutching at his shirt went slack, barely holding on. He looked down at her, finding her lips parted and eyes closed, her pale skin making her look almost angelic. He was smiling before he even realized it, and he reached down to push a curly tendril of red hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. She looked so innocent and sweet when she was asleep, and while Dean would never actually say he  _ preferred  _ her this way, he did enjoy the cuddly side of the pup he’d never really given himself the chance to see. Perhaps it was the Omega in him, just happy to finally be doing what Omegas are meant to do. Either way, he didn’t mind it.

Part of him didn’t want to move, but another very large part of him wanted to be with his Alpha, so Dean eventually tried to maneuver himself out of the bed. Just as he began to pull away, the hand on his shirt tightened again, the other hand coming up to pull at his neck and pull him back down to her. Dean settled back into the bed as she plastered herself to his front, turning her face into his neck and licking softly once.

The gesture almost,  _ almost  _ made Dean tear up, the idea that this pup that wasn’t even his was comfortable enough with him to try to scent him, that she was comforted by his presence so much that she unconsciously licked him. It came with the stark realization that pups did that with their parents, not with strangers, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it was about him that made her treat him like a parent. She was a smart kid, sure, but Cas still hadn’t spoken to her about them or their plans. 

So it was instinctual, then. Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Rory’s blossoming instincts were telling her that Dean was a parent...likely even her Omega mother. Despite Rory knowing the difference, her body didn’t.

Dean very deliberately didn’t think of his lost pup. Briefly, for just a few seconds, when he wrapped his arms around the little pup’s small frame, he imagined that his pup wasn’t, in fact, lost. She was right here. She’d always been right here.

\----

It was a long while before Dean felt willing enough to pull away from her. She slipped from his arms easily this time and he tucked the blanket around her carefully. He fixed a strand of hair then straightened, turned, and was startled to see Cas in the doorway. He’d looked like he’d been there a while, leaning against the frame and watching with that same unreadable expression. 

Dean licked his lips and approached, wondering if he saw his pup scent him like she would her Omega mother. Once outside the bedroom, Cas closed the door softly and Dean took a somewhat stiff seat on the futon. 

Cas ruffled his own hair and put his hands on his hips, looking around the room. He picked up a few of Rory’s toys and straightened the pillows on the floor, and Dean watched him expectantly, waiting for him to speak, to say something,  _ anything.  _

“Cas…”

Cas finally turned to him and waved a hand, a strange look on his face. “No, it's, uh… it's fine. It's great. It's just…” he swallowed and looked down, collecting himself. “She's just never...I mean, even with Charlie she n-”

He shook his head as his voice broke and Dean knew he was teary-eyed without even seeing his face. He finally took a deep breath and looked back up at Dean, giving him a sad smile. 

“Just weird… to see her act like that.  _ Good  _ weird. But Ysa-” he cleared his throat. “S-she....never even got to hold her, before…” he swallowed again, Adam's apple bobbing under stubbled skin. “I didn't, uh. Expect it to hit me this hard. I'm sorry.”

Dean looked down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting and his knee bouncing. He had this gnawing guilt in his gut, but knew none of it was his fault. He didn’t even ask for it. Rory can’t help her reaction to him anymore then he can. 

“Rory, uh...talked to me,” Dean said with a sigh, leaning back on the futon. He avoided Cas’s gaze, unsure if the Alpha was going to like what he heard or not. “She seemed quiet. I asked what was wrong. She said she was...sad.” His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall her exact words. “She missed her mom, but she thought that didn’t make sense since she never knew her.” Dean rubbed a hand over his face with a shrug. “Told her...um, told her it was okay to miss her. To miss having a mom, and that even though she never met her, she was still a part of her. That Omegas always know their pups, even when they’re still inside.” He rubbed his palms across his thigh. “Guess it made her feel better. I dunno. She kept, uh...trying to scent me. On our way here.” 

“I don’t think she fully realizes,” Cas started slowly, moving to sit beside Dean, “what that  _ means _ yet. Not discrediting it, of course, but...I just mean...her _ instinct _ is to want to scent you. Instinctually, I suppose...you feel...similar to what she felt of Ysabella...when she carried her.” He laid a hand on Dean’s thigh and stroked gently, shaking his head. “I, um. It’s just...it’s hard. Surprisingly touching, but hard. But it’s also...I don’t know. I feel a little...proud? If that makes sense...for finding someone that she feels she can be close to.”

Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to focus on the touch of his Alpha and not the racing of his thoughts. 

“That...Cas, this terrifies me,” he admitted quietly. “I don’t know how to be a mom. I really don’t. And she needs one, and if...if you mate with me, then...but I have so many... _ issues _ . And I don’t fit right, with the Omega thing. Never have. And I just don’t know if I can be that for her. I don’t even know if I can be that for you.” 

He huffed and shifted to lay across the futon, head in Cas’s lap and facing his front. Dean placed a hand on Cas’s leg, fingers tugging lightly on the edge of his shirt. He fell silent, unable to voice the jumbled mess in his head. 

“Dean, you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be,” Cas said, not for the first time since Dean had arrived. “I’m not…” he sighed, reaching down to take Dean’s fidgeting hand. “I don’t  _ expect  _ you to be her mom. She’s getting older, she has the pack, she has me, she has Charlie...she doesn’t  _ need _ a mom. The hardest part for her, I think, is over where that is concerned. But...whether we do mate or not, if you were to fall into a role not unlike that in there…” he nodded to Rory’s bedroom, “I think we would all be okay with that.” 

He grabbed Dean’s chin and angled his head upward, looking down into his eyes. “Your issues don’t define you, Dean. Your dynamic doesn’t define you. You can be whatever you want to be, and we’ll want you regardless. Not for what you can potentially do for us. We…” he paused and licked his lips, nodding once in reaffirmation, “ _ I. _ I just want you.”

Dean’s gut clenched and his heart skipped, the hand on his chin so warm and soft. The eyes on him so deep and blue and sad. Dean both hated and loved being this close to Alpha. Loved it because he could  _ feel _ Cas, his heat and scent and utter calmness. Hated it because he was forced to come face to face with the Cas’s burdens, the weight he carried, the exhausted energy that Dean wanted to take away. He vowed one day to make Castiel rest. Really rest. Hand the pack over to someone else for a while. 

“Then you can have me,” Dean said, tilting his head to press his lips to Cas’s fingers. “Not going anywhere.” He moved closer, his face practically smashed into Cas’s torso, and he breathed in the scent that was his Alpha. 

“I think…” Cas paused for a long time, a hand moving into Dean’s hair and stroking softly. Dean’s eyes were closed but he could tell that Alpha was staring at him like he always did, but the thought didn’t make him uncomfortable. “Dean, I...love you.”

Dean’s eyes snapped open and he looked up, searching Cas’s face almost desperately. He couldn’t have heard that right, but the Alpha looked sincere. Dean blinked rapidly as the backs of his eyes stung with tears he refused to let fall. He couldn’t recall a time when anyone said that to him. Maybe his parents, before he presented Omega, but he couldn’t remember ever hearing it. He certainly never expected to hear it from an Alpha, and for said Alpha to actually  _ mean _ it. 

Dean abruptly sat up, his heart threatening to jump right out of his throat, and straddled Cas with hands cupping those scruffy cheeks. He pressed their mouths together in a hungry kiss, too afraid to say it back but wanting to convey  _ something.  _ So Cas would know he meant something to Dean, too, and maybe one day Dean  _ could _ say those words. 

Cas groaned and clutched Dean’s hips, his fingertips pressing into the meat of his sides. He pulled back and closed his eyes, licking his lips and swallowing. Dean wished desperately that he was able to better show Cas how he felt, that he had very strong feelings for him too that he couldn't voice. 

“That was, um,” Cas looked up at him in admiration. “It's been...a long time since I've… said that to anyone who wasn't Rory. But it felt… good. Feels right.”

“I’ve...never…” Dean shook his head, feeling stupid for not being able to tell Cas what he deserves to hear. He didn’t even know why he couldn’t say it. “No one has ever said that to me before,”  he finally murmured, a hand sliding up the back of Cas’s neck to play with strands of hair. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt that ridiculous stinging again and willed the tears back. “Cas, you’re so...I mean, everything you’ve done for me…” He sighed and laid his forehead on Cas’s shoulder. “Glad it feels...right. I want…”  _ To say it back. _ “I want...you. Very much.”

Cas’s arms snaked around him and pulled them flush. Their lips found each other again and Dean’s immediately parted to allow Cas’s tongue entry. They were all tongues, teeth, and hands for the next several minutes, the moment heated but also slow enough that they could contain themselves. 

When Cas pulled away his lips were swollen and wet, his pupils dilated and his hair sticking out in all directions. He looked up at Dean reverently, hands clenched into his shirt. 

Dean couldn’t stop staring at Cas. At his pink lips, his cheekbones, his blue eyes blown wide with lust, his hair wild from Dean’s unbidden hands. It was all such a mess, a perfect mess. This old gentle Alpha with all his mystery, but coiled as well, a silent threat, with fangs that could snap bones if he really needed to. And Dean wondered, not for the first time, if some of scars on Cas’s body were from moments when that carefully constructed control unravelled and the wild  _ Alpha _ emerged.

Some deep, dark, equally wild part of Dean wanted to see that. The mere thought making his spine tingle. He told himself it was the Omega in him that wanted to see Cas defend, protect,  _ kill _ all for Dean. 

He abruptly snapped his eyes shut and pushed the thought away, just as his scent began to spike and thicken. Stupid. He couldn’t do that here, now, with a damn pup in the next room. Dean shook himself and huffed a breath, fingers clenching and unclenching in Cas’s hair.

Cas’s hands tightened in Dean’s shirt and his breath hitched. He cleared his throat and his eyes flicked over to Rory’s room briefly before they were back on Dean, pulling his lip between his teeth. 

“Perhaps we should… um…” he pulled lightly at Dean’s shirt and inclined his head to the side. 

“Yeah… yeah,” Dean said quickly, moving from Cas’s lap to his side. Cas huffed a laugh and scrubbed a hand down his face and back up through his hair. 

Dean had to chuckle a little at their inability to keep their hands to themselves, because it seemed this sort of thing happened every time they were alone together. Their bodies and instincts pulled at each other until one of them was on top of the other, and yet another pair of Dean’s jeans were ruined with slick. It was silly how much they couldn’t seem to control themselves and yet Dean couldn’t find much fault in it. He was a touch-starved abuse victim with absolutely no social skills and Cas was a aging, lonely Alpha who had’t even looked at an Omega for  _ years _ and is also a full time dad. Of course they’d be drawn to each other.

It might have something to do with the fact that Cas just told him he loved him. And Dean could hardly believe it.

Wanting-needing-to be touching Cas in some way, Dean reached out and laced their fingers together. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, face still a bit flushed. “It just...starts and it’s hard to stop myself. Sometimes all I have to do is...is look at you and…” He coughed and shifted, lifting a shoulder in a weak shrug.

“Don't apologize,” Cas said with a shake of his head. “I feel at least equally at fault.” He smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners, and Dean smiled back before he even realized what he was doing. 

“Listen, I…” he heaved a sigh and rubbed his palms on his pants, looking around awkwardly. “I didn't...I don't expect you to… say it or whatever. I understand. It's just… how I felt, so…”

Dean rubbed at his neck, his jaw tight. “I...want to say it. I don’t know why I can’t. I know it’s not because I  _ don’t _ .” He squeezed Cas’s hand, the skin so warm Dean wanted to rub against it.  He side eyed Cas and tongued his bottom lip nervously. “Is that...okay?”

Cas’s breath left him in a huff and he nodded. “Yes, of course that's okay.” He squeezed Dean’s hand back and looked at him, eyes searching his face. “It's perfectly okay, Dean.”

He let go of his hand and cupped the side of his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. “We're going at the pace we're comfortable with, okay? I can wait as long as I need to.”

Dean sighed, but nodded and leaned into the touch. “Yeah...okay.”

He glanced at Rory’s bedroom door and shifted a bit closer, their legs pressed together, so he could rest his cheek on Cas’s shoulder. Things fell silent and Dean’s eyes began to wonder. Cas’s cabin was an eclectic collection, weird furniture and knick knacks that the Alpha probably picked up from who knows where.

“Where were you?” Dean suddenly asked. “Before...all this.”

Cas frowned and cocked his head. “You mean… before…” he looked around the cabin and gestured out the window. “The camp?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Before you built all of this…” He shifted and glanced up at Cas. “Did you just...wander? Pick up strays along the way?” 

Cas tilted his head from side to side and hummed. “Before the world… turned into what it is now, I lived a pretty… normal life. My mother died when I was young, and it was just me and my father for awhile. When civilization seemingly fell, my father had the idea to go around and collect Omega refugees… in honor of my mother, I think. So I helped. At the time, we just moved them to camps we were told were safe houses. There were more then than there are now. Most turned after a few years, Alphas unwilling or unable to control their urges.” He paused and pressed his lips together, looking down at his hands. “But we tried, and we did what we could. When my father died, I created this place so I knew the refugees were going somewhere safe. It took years, and I found some people along the way. It just kind of… grew from there.”

Dean nodded slowly, though as the details sank in his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cas had been around before everything went to shit, apparently, and Dean was once again wondering how Cas really was. And didn’t they come from Skoll and Hati? If so, how was it that Cas even saw the world before civilization fell apart? 

Dean sat up, opening his mouth-

And nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a sudden knock at the door. He  _ absolutely _ did not yelp, despite the bright red cheeks on his traitorous face. He groaned and buried his face in his hands when Cas gave him a very amused look before getting up to answer the door.

While Cas spoke to a pack member Dean wasn’t familiar with, he heard a door creak open and the sound of little feet.

Rory climbed onto the futon next to him and bent over to peek under his hands.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Nothin’.”

“I think it was you I heard? Sounded like a scared puppy or something.”

Dean blushed harder.

“It woke me up.”

“Sorry…” Dean mumbled.

“That’s okay,” Rory giggled and forced her way onto his lap, prying his hands from his face. “Dean, your face is all red. Maybe you’re sick. Papa, Dean is sick!”

“I’m not sick!” Dean hissed furiously.

She giggled and held his hands with her own, leaning back in his lap until her vision was upside down, her hair swinging under her. She laughed as she watched Castiel approach with his hands in his pockets, head tilted and adoring smile on his face.

“Aren’t you supposed to be napping?”

“Dean woke me up,” she said through her giggles, pulling herself up and leaning way back again, holding tightly to Dean’s hands.

Dean blushed again and looked up at Cas, shaking his head a little. “It was an accident…”

Cas gave him a dismissive shake of his head and grabbed Rory around her waist, lifting her to his shoulders and holding her ankles. He threw Dean a wink before tapping Rory on her leg and turning to take her back to the bedroom. 

“Dean will be here for lunch, so you’re missing absolutely nothing by taking your nap. Missouri would fuss if she knew you weren’t getting your sleep-”

“Please don’t tell her!”

“I suppose I can give you one more chance…”

Dean chuckled as Cas disappeared back into her bedroom with her. After a moment he got up and went to the door, leaning against the frame as he watched Cas tuck her back into bed. She took his face in her hands as he kissed her on the forehead, and he pulled the stocking cap off her head and sat it on the nightstand before leaving. 

He pulled the door shut behind him and kissed Dean too, then nodded toward the door. “I hate to ask this, but would you mind staying here for a few minutes while I go speak with Benny? One of the Omegas is preparing to go into heat and is requesting an Alpha. I need to send him to bring one in.”

Dean never understood the expression of blood running cold until just then, and he vaguely thought it was pretty damn accurate. His skin prickled, like he’d just been dropped into the snow as naked as the day he was born. His lungs closed up and he tried to drag some air in, but he could feel the rising panic threatening to burst free.  

“Um...o-okay…” he forced out, shoving his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking, “I can…I can stay here.” He was such a chicken shit, getting so worked up over one Alpha. Logically he knew this would happen one day. There was a lot of Omegas in the camp and not all of them have the same ‘no knot’ mentality he had. Eventually one was going to ask for an Alpha. 

Cas stepped forward and laid a hand on his neck, bringing him back to the present. He gave him a sympathetic look, eyebrows drawn together, and pressed his forehead to Dean’s, stroking his jaw with his thumb.

“I’m going to stay here with you while he goes,” Cas promised, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “And as long as he’s here, I want you to stay here.”

Dean almost sobbed with relief and threw his arms around Cas. He buried his face into his neck and greedily inhaled his Alpha’a scent, letting it wash over him and ground him. His nose tickled with bonfires and beaches, calming and alluring and dominating. He had nothing to worry about. His Alpha was strong. He would protect Dean, keep him hidden and safe just like he promised. 

Cas chuckled and wrapped his arms back around Dean, palms flat against his torso, fingertips pressing into skin.

“Your scent is going to give me whiplash,” he said, his voice muffled against Dean’s shoulder. Dean blushed again and pulled back, but Cas was smiling, a hand sliding from Dean’s back down his arm and squeezing his hand. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, embarrassed by his lack of control over his own body. There was no helping it, though. Around Cas everything went haywire, excitement and fear mixing to create an emotion Dean had no name for. “Go take care of stuff. I’ll watch her highness sleep.” 

Cas gave a relieved sigh and kissed him again. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Cas gave one final glance at Rory’s closed door and nodded at Dean, then crossed the floor and left, the door scraping as he closed it behind him. Dean watched after him until he saw him pass by the window, and he sighed and moved to sit on the futon, his arm thrown over the back, watching Castiel descend the hill.

The sound of a door squeaking had his head snapping up, and Rory sheepishly peeked out from behind it. 

“That doesn’t look like napping to me,” Dean said, raising a brow and crossing his arms over his chest. 

She scuffed a foot on the floor and shrugged, a little hand playing with the strings of her cap. “Don’t wanna…” 

“Why not?” 

“ _ You’re  _ here.” 

Dean blinked. “So?”

She rolled her eyes, like it should be the most obvious thing in the world and she can’t understand why adults don’t  _ get it _ . 

“ _ So _ , if I’m napping I’m not spending time with you.” 

Dean sighed and gestured for her to come over. She smiled and climbed onto the futon beside him, leaning against his side. 

“You can nap out here with me,” Dean said firmly. 

She scowled up at him. “But-“ 

“Just because your dad is away doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want. You can nap out here with me or you can nap by yourself.” 

She grumbled but laid down, jerking her hat off her head and throwing it on the futon beside her. She laid her head on Dean’s thigh and traced the seam of his jeans with a little finger, her eyelids heavy.

“Will you stay here, Dean?” she asked in a small voice, looking up at him tiredly.

“Of course, kiddo. Not goin’ anywhere.”

“No, I mean...will you  _ stay _ here, with me and Papa?”

Dean bit his lip and lifted a hand to move some of her messy hair out of her face, but froze at the thought and implication, instead letting it come to rest on her side. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

  
Dean chuckled and tucked the hair behind her ear before he even realized what he was doing. She was having a lot of trouble keeping her eyes open despite her stubbornness about napping, and she shoved a thumb in her mouth and blinked slowly as she stared straight ahead at Dean’s shirt.

Dean laid down and gently pulled her with him, tucking her beside him, one of her legs thrown over his torso. He rested his chin on the top of her head and hummed. 

“I would love to stay here,” he said finally, and Rory squirmed to burrow further into the crook of his arm.

She fell back asleep fairly quickly and Dean realized she’d been waiting to come back out so she could sleep next to him. It was both sweet and a little worrisome. She seemed to be getting attached quickly and the thought had Dean anxious. He didn’t know what he could-or wanted to be- for this girl, but she seemed to be making the decision for him. 

He sighed and shifted his arm slightly so it would stop tingling. Rory didn’t stir, her breath coming out soft and steady, occasionally sniffing at him. Dean bit his lip, the anxiety worsening, but forced himself to close his eyes and relax. There was no helping it now. 

After a while, with her safely tucked against him, and the warmth from the fireplace enveloping him, Dean dozed off as well. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! We have officially finished writing this story so the remaining chapters will be going up in decently quick succession. We can't wait to hear what you think of the finished story, and please recommend to your friends!  
> Additionally, we would both appreciate you looking out for our next long chaptered fic, Profess Unto Me, which is going to be posted in the SPN Canon Big Bang on July 20th. *Follow us on Tumblr at @holytrenchcoatedsubtextchuck and @deanmon69 for promos*  
> We have also started our third story together, which is an AU in which Priestly!LikeDean owns a diner and Cas is a cute photographer, where lots of fluff will ensue. Look for it to begin posting in the coming months!  
> Thanks for all your support!

He was unable to tell how much later it was when he was jostled awake by Cas, who was attempting to pull Rory into his arms without waking her. He gave Dean a small smile as he cradled her against his chest and wordlessly took her into her bedroom, returning a moment later. He leaned down and kissed Dean, first on the forehead, then on the lips, and sighed as he sank into the cushions beside him.

“Sorry it took so long,” he mumbled finally, ruffling his own hair. “Bit of an issue. I ended up having to go with Benny, and the closest camp is almost two hours away.” He frowned and tilted his head. “Did she...sleep this whole time?”

Dean nodded and shrugged as he rubbed at his fuzzy feeling eyes. He really tried to avoid naps. They only made him more tired. “Pretty much. Poked her head out after you left. Told her she had to sleep, but she wanted to...be with me I guess. So we compromised.”

He yawned and leaned back on the futon, blinking sleepily up at the ceiling. “Guess we missed lunch, huh…”

Cas chuckled and scratched the top of his head, then let his hand fall to his thigh with a _slap_.

“Only by a few hours.” He grunted as he pushed himself to his feet and crossed over to his kitchen, holding up two small burlap bags. “Brought home some dinner, though. Some cod, carrots, parsnips, and potatoes. I trust you’re both hungry.”

Dean snorted, thinking how... _domestic_ this was, and got to his feet as well. “I am,” he mumbled, shuffling over to Cas and peering over his shoulder as he laid out the food. “Par...parsnips. The hell is that?” 

“It's a root, technically” Cas said, chuckling when Dean wrinkled his nose. He pulled one out and held it up. “See? Looks almost like a carrot. They taste kind of sweet like carrots too, but also a little more… earthy. They're one of Rory’s favorites.”

Dean plucked it from Cas’s hand and turned it over slowly as Alpha continued to unload his ‘groceries’. Dean brought the root up to his nose and sniff curiously. It smelled a little like dirt and he wasn’t too sure about eating it, but he would try anything once.

“Go nuts, I guess…” he muttered, tossing it onto the counter and cocking his hip to lean against the sink.

Cas gave him a crooked smile and pointedly grabbed the parsnip, setting to work peeling it. He followed with the carrots and potatoes as Dean watched, then he cut them all into pieces. He set it all to the side and pulled out the fish, patting some salt on each side. He placed it in a cast iron pan and arranged the vegetables around it, then carried it over to the wood stove and sat it on the grill over the fire.

He gave Dean a peck on the cheek as he walked back over to wash his hands, like it was the most normal thing in the world for them. Cas sighed as he scrubbed his hands under the water.

“Looks like we'll be taking turns on pup duty tonight,” he teased, nodding at Rory’s door. “If she's slept this long, no way she goes back to sleep tonight.”

Dean scratched at his cheek and idly thought he needed to shave. He was starting a little too fuzzy. “Could always slip her some whiskey.”

He chuckled when Cas shot him a look of horror and waved his hand. “Kidding, Cas. I’m sure we can wear her out.” He was determined, in fact, to make sure the pup goes down at a decent time tonight. Dean wanted some quality time with his Alpha.

Cas turned to him and wiped his hands on a towel before tossing it back onto the counter. He put his hands on his hips and looked toward the bedroom again.

“So I guess despite what I've told her, it _is_ possible to annoy someone into liking you.” He chuckled. “Huh. Who knew?”

“She’s not...annoying,” Dean muttered. “Just...um, spirited.”

He raised a brow and came to stand beside Cas, eyeing him curiously. “Either that stuff you smoke really relaxes you and she doesn’t get personality of hers from you.” Dean hesitantly poked Cas on the arm and tilted his head. “Is that how Ysabella got you?”

Cas huffed a laugh and looked down. “Not exactly. I mean, the attitude was all her. The personality. But I suppose the truth of the matter is that Ysabella only fell for me after much, _much_ annoyance.” He looked up and grinned wickedly. “Not unlike our daughter.”

“So this is all _your_ fault then,” Dean teased, slipping his arm around Cas’s waist shyly to bring them a little closer. His heart skipped at how forward he was being, but it was okay. It was just him and Cas right now, no pup eyes on them or anyone else. He only felt this comfortable around Alpha and he wanted to explore it.

Cas’s tongue came to rest behind his teeth and he sucked in a quiet breath, his eyes bouncing from Dean’s eyes to his lips and back. He leaned into Dean as Dean slipped his other arm around his waist, and Cas’s hands met Dean’s behind his back.

“Maybe just a little,” he said quietly, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I suppose if she does get one thing from me, it’s the perseverance to go after what she really wants.”

Dean’s face heated up then spread down to his neck, and he ducked his head in a failed attempt to hide it. “I guess...then, um,” he cleared his throat and bumped his forehead against Cas’s shoulder. “I’m...something you really want then?”

“You know you are,” Cas said gently, pulling back enough to look at him. “I wouldn’t...Dean, I don’t spend my time looking for a new mate. I was resigned to my life the way it was, content with just myself and Rory. But then you came, and I…” he sighed, brushing a thumb across Dean’s cheek, chasing the blush. “You changed that. Now I know I won’t be _truly_ happy if I don’t have you.”

Dean sighed deeply and leaning into Cas’s hand without realizing what he was doing. Cas put too much on him, thought too much of him. Dean didn’t think he’d ever be confident in making Alpha happy, truly happy. He was selfish, though, craving that attention more than anything else.

Dean stepped closer, bringing their chests together, their shared warmth seeping through clothes and skin. Cas shirt was thin, almost threadbare, more buttons undone or missing than put together. Dean stared at the patch of tan skin it revealed and licked his lips.

Cas grazed his top teeth over his bottom lip and cleared his throat. “Do, um. Did you need to go back to your cabin to get anything before you stay? I only have the two beds, but Rory can just sleep with me tonight, and you can sleep in her bed. Or we could sleep in there and you can sleep out here, whatever you’re comfortable with-”

“No,” Dean said quickly then coughed and rubbed at his chin as he felt his face heat up again. He did that _a lot_ around Alpha. “I-I mean….I...I would like to sleep. In here. With...with you.”

Cas’s eyes widened marginally and he glanced over at Rory’s door and swallowed hard. “Oh, well I, um. Dean, I...I haven’t really...had the chance to talk to Rory yet...about us.” He sighed and chewed his lip. “I mean, I would really, _really_ love that, but it’s just...I don’t know...how she’d take it. She’s never seen me...with anyone.”

Dean’s face fell and he looked down, pulling back slightly. He nodded slowly in understanding. Sleeping alone in a strange bed, despite it being in Alpha’s home, was almost as bad as sleeping in his own cabin.

“Then, um...out here. In...in your-just, out here,” he glanced up at Cas, biting at his lip. He wasn’t sure if sleeping in Cas’s bed would be better or worse, but at least if he had any _dreams_ he’d rather slick on Alpha’s bed than the pup’s. Not that he had those types of dreams very often, but when he was near Cas while he slept they tended to slip in.

“Dean, I’m sorry. Please know that I don’t... _want_ that. But I just really need to talk to her about us first. I’m not really sure how to broach the subject with her. I don't know how… I don't know how she's going to react to it.” He bumped his forehead against Dean’s. “It worries me. There's a big difference between her liking you and her being accepting of us… together.”

“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean tightened his arms around Cas’s waist, a finger slipping under his shirt. “I understand. It’s fine. Just...I just didn’t think about that.” He paused, tonguing his cheek, then shrugged slightly. “Might be easier than you think. She sort of...asked about it. Earlier. I mean,” Dean shook his head, “She...she asked if I was going to stay _here_. Said she wanted me to.”

“She… asked you about us?” Cas raised his eyebrows. “Stay here as in…” he pointed a finger down at the floor, “here? With us?”

Dean quirked a smile and nodded, sort of enjoying seeing Cas at a loss for words. “Yeah...um, she said ‘me and papa’.”

“Huh.” Cas shook his head a little, a smile pulling at his lips. “Wow. That's… um.” He frowned. “Unexpected. But I guess she never really...I mean, she didn't ever… _know_ Bella. So maybe… maybe it won't be as difficult for her.”

“Mmm, maybe not,” Dean said quietly. “But...it’s...its up to you, Cas. You don’t rush me, so I won’t rush you. We can just do this...you know, our way. Whatever that is.” He licked his lips and huffed, wishing he were better with words but knowing Cas would understand him anyway.

Cas took Dean’s face between his hands and looked him in the eyes. “I'll talk to her soon, sweetheart. I promise.” He brushed some of Dean’s hair off his forehead, clicking his tongue. “Need to get you a haircut.”

“Mmmm.”

Cas smiled. “I'll talk to Bobby. Might be able to help you out.” Cas’s eyes flitted down to Dean’s lips again and he leaned in and kissed him gently.

Dean was sure he would never get tired of kissing Cas. In fact, every time those lips were on his, he only seemed to come away wanting more. Not that Cas was unsatisfactory in any way. Alpha was amazing at kissing. He was skilled, knowing exactly what to do and when. Unlike Dean, who felt he was sloppy and uncoordinated.

When they kissed, though, Dean became wonderfully lost. Everything else faded away, including most thought process, and all he knew was _Cas_.

When they broke for air, Dean was plastered to the Alpha, arms wrapped securely around sharp hips, Cas’s scent invading his nostrils. Cas sighed and pulled away, kissing Dean once more on the forehead as he did.

“Should probably wake her up,” he muttered, but his body language insisted that he’d much rather stay this way, hands on Dean’s waist, practically attached at the lips.

“Yeah…” Dean barely got the word out before he had his lips on Cas’s and they sunk into it again. His hands moved slowly up Cas’s spine and into his hair as he felt Alpha gently back him against the wall. He didn’t feel trapped, though, Cas leaving plenty of slack in his hold on Dean.

Cas’s hands gripped Dean’s hips, thumbs rubbing circles on his hip bones through his shirt. Dean flattened himself back against the wall and Cas pressed against his front, the kiss deepening and making both of them lose themselves. Cas’s scent had an overcompensating sweetness to it, not exactly unlike his usual smell but with a more pronounced _something_ that served to relax Dean and let him know that he was in control.

Dean purred, deep and loud, and arched slightly into Cas and his heat, his touch, that hard press of muscle. He was sinking fast, thoughts of dinner and Rory and anything else disappearing to be replaced by Cas and the lips that were now pressed to his neck.

“Cas,” Dean breathed, baring his neck, his fingers slipping from all that wild hair to broad shoulders.

Cas’s reply was a muffled hum as he kissed his way down Dean’s neck, his tongue swiping across the dip between the base and his collarbone. One of Cas’s hands held the back of his neck, squeezing lightly. Goosebumps broke out on Dean’s body at the contrast between the heat of Cas’s lips and the cool air hitting wet skin and he shivered, fingers tightening on Cas’s shoulders.

They tugged at Cas’s shirt, the material loose and easily pulled aside so Dean could bury his face in Alpha’s neck, his shoulder, his tanned skin. He was careful to avoid the faded mating mark on the shoulder, finding a spot at the base of the neck and inhaling deeply. Everything in Dean screamed _mine_ and he rubbed against Cas again, lapping at Cas’s skin and taste that scent he loved so much.

The hand on Dean’s waist turned him gently to the right and backed him up against the small counter, and Cas crushed their lips together again as his hands slid down and hooked under Dean’s thighs, lifting him onto the counter. He settled between his legs, hands cupping Dean’s face as his tongue dipped between his lips, followed by gently scraping teeth.

Dean’s legs wrapped around Cas’s waist almost instinctively and the indications there were not lost on him. However, the tongue and teeth teasing his lips was enough to distract him. He tentatively opened up his mouth and sighed softly when Cas slipped inside. Dean’s tongue met Cas’s shyly, curiously, sliding and tasting while his hands tucked under Cas’s shirt to feel along the warm skin underneath.

Cas finally pulled away after several minutes of increasing desperation, pressing their foreheads together as he looked down between them.

“We should…” he kissed Dean again, his fingers exploring the hair on the back on his neck, “ _stop_...we should stop.” But he couldn’t stop touching, first Dean’s hair, then his neck, his shoulders...he touched his knees, moved his hands up the outside of his thighs, then jumped up to his waist, traveling under his shirt. “Should stop...need to stop…”

Dean nodded in total agreement, but made absolutely no move to do so. His legs and thighs tightened, bringing Cas closer and pressing them together. His hands traveled further under Cas’s shirt, shoving it up and revealing hip bones, a belly Dean wanted to bite at, and the edges of that tattoo he always found himself staring at. He scraped his nails over the skin and shivered when the Alpha moaned. It was more a growl actually, deep and rumbling out of Cas’s chest that Dean could feel it on his fingertips.

“ _D_ _ean_ …”

Dean met Cas’s gaze and was able to deduce that Cas was quickly losing his resolve, his pupils dilated and his mouth hanging open as he panted. Days old stubble on his face and his hair sticking up in all directions from Dean’s hands raking through it, his shirt wrinkled and hanging halfway off his shoulders...he looked more feral, more _Alpha_ than Dean thought he’d ever seen him, and for once he was unashamed by the scent his body began to emit.

If they kept going, there’d be no stopping. The shock of that realization was like a splash of cold water and Dean took a couple of deep breaths through his mouth. There were many reasons why now was not the right time, one of the biggest being in the bedroom behind them. Another being that Dean knew he wasn’t ready to let this Alpha in yet.

_Yet_.

Dean realized that it wasn’t a matter of _if_ anymore. It was equally exciting and frightening.

Dean exhaled and pulled back, laying a gentle hand on Cas’s shoulder. He squeezed it and licked his swollen lips, looking into Cas’s almost all black eyes. “Time to stop now, Alpha.”

Dean held his breath while Cas stared at him, but after a moment Cas shook his head marginally and reached up, laying his hand over Dean’s and squeezing. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his mouth and out his nose, and it wasn’t until he opened them again and Dean saw blue that he was able to breathe again too.

Cas’s breathing hadn’t gone back to normal but his eyes fell to Dean’s chest and he reached out tentatively, fingering the bullet casing that hung around his neck.

“Time to stop…” he said, almost trancelike. He blinked and looked back up at Dean again, letting a breath out slowly. “Yes, okay. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean nodded once and smiled, stroking down Cas’s arm before letting his hand fall. “I’ll go wake her up so you can...um,” he gestured at Cas’s very noticeable bulge, a light blush on his cheeks, “take care of...that.”

He waited for Cas to move away then hopped down from the counter and walked over to Rory’s bedroom. He cracked the door open and slipped inside, shutting it behind him softly. Dean gazed at the sleeping girl for a moment then approached the bed, kneeling down and poking her gently on the nose.

“Slept long enough,” Dean said, then shook her shoulder slightly. “Wake your little butt up so we can eat. Or I’m eating all of it.”

Rory opened her eyes and blinked up at him sleepily, then rubbed a fist over one. Her neutral face morphed into a pout and she made an indignant noise, turning the other way.

“No,” she mumbled. “Not gettin’ up.”

“Fine,” Dean sighed, standing and walking a few feet toward the door. “Guess I'll have to eat yours too…”

She flipped back over and eyed him, frowning dramatically. “Is Papa home?”

“Yes,” Dean said, glancing over his shoulder at her. “Brought home all this food, went through all the trouble of cooking it for us. He’d be so _upset_ if his only daughter refused-“

“Okay, okay!”

He smirked as she grumbled and tumbled out of bed, grabbing her cap and pulling it over her head grumpily.

Dean held the door open for her triumphantly, ignoring the way she stuck her tongue out as she stomped past him.

“Her highness is awake and grumpy,” Dean announced and watched as Rory walked over to the kitchen to hug her arms around her papa’s legs.

“Ah, yes. Nothing like some attitude to quell my particular mood,” Cas joked, cutting his eyes up at Dean with a smirk.

Rory frowned up at him. “What’s that mean?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Cas said quickly, taking her face in his hands and kissing her on the forehead. “You hungry?”

She nodded and let go of his legs, tugging her hat down a little too far over her eyes. Cas pulled it off her head and tossed it on the table, ignoring her protests.

“You don’t need the hat inside,” he insisted, acting like he didn’t notice her pouting afterward. She sat down at the table and crossed her arms over her chest.

Cas served them all and they sat, and Rory’s attitude disappeared almost as soon as she began to eat.

Cas was an excellent cook considering their limited resources and Dean was quickly starting to favor eating Cas’s food over the kitchen’s. He scarfed down his plate, even the nasty-looking root things, and Cas happily gave him seconds.

Rory’s grumpiness was quickly replaced with boundless energy, and she spent the entire time chatting to Dean who only half listened while stealing glances at Cas.

“You’re sleeping here, right?” she asked suddenly. Dean blinked at her as he stood to take his empty plate to the sink.

“Ah...yes,” he said slowly, glancing at Cas.

“Good.” She shoved a parsnip in her mouth and chewed quietly, stabbing one of her carrots with a fork.

Cas looked at Dean for a long moment before his eyes fell back to Rory, and he pushed his plate to the side and folded his hands together on top of the table, clearing his throat.

“Rory, is that...okay with you?”

“Yeah,” she said brightly through a mouthful of food. Cas pursed his lips but before he could say anything she rolled her eyes and chewed and swallowed. “He can sleep in my room if he wants.”

“I’ll...uh, be out here,” Dean said after a pause, “You and Papa will sleep in your room.”

She pouted up at him, her legs swinging back and forth in her chair. “But I want you to sleep with me,” she said, hanging her lip.

“Not this time,” Dean said, turning to start washing his plate.

Cas’s eyes bounced back and forth between the two of him, and he chewed his lip nervously, tapping fingers against the tabletop. “Rory...are you sure it’s okay that Dean stays here for a few nights?”

She shrugged and ate a bite of fish. “Sure. Like how Alicia stays here with me sometimes?”

Cas tilted his head back and forth and hummed. “Kind of...but not exactly.”

Rory cocked her head and put down her fork, swallowing. “What do you mean?”

“Um.” Cas looked up at Dean with his eyes slightly wide, at a loss for words. “Well, I guess...uh. You see, you and Alicia are friends, and-”

“But you and Dean are friends.”

“Well, yes, but-”

“So you’re having a sleepover?”

Cas swallowed and looked up at Dean again, his eyes practically crying for help. Dean stifled a laugh with a cough, turning back to the sink and pretending to wash his already clean plate. This was between Castiel and his pup unless his opinion was explicitly asked for.

“Dean and I…” Dean heard Cas clear his throat again and rapid thumping as he rapped his knuckles against the table. “Um. Well.” He clicked his tongue and raised his eyebrows, gesturing toward her. “You know Bobby and Ellen? Jody and Donna? It’s more like...that.”

Rory scrunched up her nose thoughtfully, tilting her head in a very reminiscent way of her papa. “Jody and Donna hold hands a lot. And bump their noses together.” She paused and blinked at Cas, biting her lip. “They’re...mates, right? Like you and...and mama were?”

Dean paused in his incessant washing, glancing at Cas and wondered if he _should_ intervene and help him out a little. But he wasn’t sure how much Cas wanted to tell Rory yet.

“Yes,” Cas said slowly, glancing briefly up at Dean.

“So…” Rory poked at her fork, the metal clanking against her plate. “You and Dean are gonna be mates, too?”

“Well…” Cas scratched anxiously at the back of his head and looked up at the ceiling, working to gather his thoughts. “We would… potentially like to explore that avenue, yes.”

Rory’s forehead wrinkled in confusion and Cas looked at him desperately again, chewing his lip.

Dean cleared his throat and sat down at the table beside Cas, his hands splayed across the worn wood as he thought. “I...um, well,” he glanced at Cas then Rory, “I have...some things I need to work through. There are, um, factors involved. With mating. That I may or may not be able to...do. But it’s something we would both like to do, in time.”

Rory wrinkled her nose. “Are you guys gonna, like… _kiss_ and stuff?”

Cas choked on his water and coughed and sputtered, covering his mouth and holding his chest. He was red - faced when he finally composed himself and glanced at Dean before nodding to her. “Well, yes… would that… bother you?”

She seemed to consider this seriously, her blue eyes staring intensely at the two of them. Dean squirmed, unused to that gaze coming from a pup. He was still getting accustomed to Cas doing that.

“I don’t know,” she finally said,blinking down at the table. “I don’t think so…” Rory looked up at Dean and smiled. “I like Dean. I don’t want him to go away, so…” she shrugged and picked at the table with a finger.

“That's…” Cas paused and looked at Dean with raised eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders. “That's good. But Rory, we want you to know, you don't need to feel… obligated to treat Dean any differently. He can still be your friend, just like always. Do you understand?”

“So he… wouldn't be my… mom?” Rory looked back and forth between them, obviously trying to puzzle it out in her head.

“Oh, sweetheart, no, he...I mean, he's…” Cas floundered, his hands moving in front of him as if he was trying to pluck the words from the air. “Um…”

“That...Rory, I’m not…” Dean sighed and scrubbed at his hair, thinking he was the worst person to have this conversation with. “That’s complicated. And we aren’t...there yet. And we might not get there. But even if I’m not your mom…” Dean bit his lip and reached out to take her small hand in his much bigger one. “I’m still...you know, here. We can be friends. I’m not goin’ anywhere, okay? Don’t worry too much about the, uh, mom thing right now.”

Rory was quiet for a long time before she finally nodded. “Okay.”

Cas reached across the table and took her other hand, giving it a squeeze. “You sure you're okay with this?”

“Yeah.”

They both waited, but she didn't elaborate, just drew circles in the wood with her finger.

Cas tilted his head at her. “Rory…”

She shrugged and gave him a small smile. “I'm okay, Papa. Can I go play now?”

“Uh, s-sure.” Cas frowned and gave her hand a final squeeze before letting go. “We'll talk more about it later.”

She got up and grabbed her hat, then disappeared into her room. Cas heaved a sigh and looked over at Dean, his features somewhat distressed.

Dean frowned at Rory’s bedroom door and heaved a sigh. “Coulda gone worse, I guess,” he mumbled quietly with a weak shrug. He wished he’d had a better answer for her, but the truth was him and Cas didn’t know what was going to happen. How this would work, _if_ it would work. Wanting it and having the ability to do it were two different things. Dean had no intention of making promises he couldn’t keep. He was fond of the pup, but he hadn’t come here to be a mom. He’d come to this camp to heal, to sleep safely, and not be at the mercy of wild Alphas. He wanted Cas in ways he never thought possible for himself and desperately wanted to keep the Alpha for himself, but Cas came with a pack and a daughter. 

Cas stared at Rory’s door and chewed distractedly at a nail, until Dean finally reached over and took his hand, laying them together on the table.

“I think she'll be okay.” Cas sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “She'll… you know. We'll talk more about it.”

He gave Dean an apologetic look. “I'm sorry, she… she just doesn't fully understand yet, and she's just so… desperate for that relationship. But you don't have to, I mean, she's not yours, I don't expect -”

“Cas,” Dean interrupted, squeezing his hand, “I know. I...understand her feelings. I wanted a mom, too. Dreamed of mine coming back to me...or another Omega taking me in. She can’t help it.”

He sighed again and leaned back in his chair, kicking his feet out a bit. “And I don’t... _not_ want it. Just...don’t know if I _can."_

“I understand.” Cas rubbed one of his hands over the other and gave Dean a nod. “We'll be okay, Dean. All of us. I'll be fine, and she'll be fine, and Dean...you'll be fine, too. We're gonna figure this out together.” He leaned forward in his seat, placing a hand on Dean's knee. “And from here on out, no matter what happens between you and I… your life is going to be full of happiness and belonging. I promise."

Dean chewed his lip and looked down at the hand on his knee, feeling the warmth even through his jeans. If, for whatever reason, he couldn’t be Cas’s mate, Dean couldn’t imagine staying here. To be around Alpha everyday, smell him, and not be able to _be_ with him would be torture. He knew, deep down, Cas couldn’t keep that promise. Not really. Because when it came down to it, Dean wasn’t first in the Alpha’s life and never would be. If pushed, he’d choose Rory or the pack over him. He’d have to.

“Okay, Cas,” Dean said quietly. “Whatever you say.” He gave him a smile and laid a hand on top of Cas’s.

Cas stood and laced their fingers together, then led them over to the futon. He sat with his back against the wooden armrest and pulled Dean between his legs, draping his arms around his neck and letting them dangle over his chest.

“It's nice having you here,” he said after a moment, resting his chin on Dean's shoulder and nuzzling his neck.

Goosebumps spread across Dean’s skin and he leaned back against Cas with a soft sigh. “Nice being here,” he admitted, a hand finding Cas’s thigh and squeezing slightly. He could faintly hear the sounds of Rory playing in her room and wondered what she played with. There hadn’t been many toys in there. Maybe she used her imagination more than anything else, like he had.

“What do you do?” Dean asked, sliding a finger up and down the Alpha’s thigh. “Typical night. When you’re done with pack stuff...Rory is in bed. What do you do?”

“Read, usually. Sometimes meditate.” Cas’s fingers ghosted over Dean's chest and he laid the hand flat. “I wish I could say I was more interesting.” He huffed a laugh. “I don't have any cool hobbies like drawing.”

Dean scoffed, his hand moving up and down Cas’s thigh. It was very thick. Actually, all of Cas was thick. Dean had once called him scrawny and it just wasn’t true. His clothes made him look smaller than he really was.

“Meditate…” he repeated. “Wouldn’t know how to do that. Just sitting there...I’d probably fall asleep.” Dean smirked and gestured towards the cabinet. “But I guess with a few of those, anyone can meditate.”

“It helps, but it's not a necessity,” Cas’s mouth quirked in the corner and his hand moved up across Dean's neck. “Perhaps I could show you how sometime. You might enjoy it. It works wonders for me.”

He turned his head to press his lips to Dean's neck, tracing fingers over it when he pulled away again. “I do yoga sometimes too. I'd love to teach you how to do that… be fun to watch.” Dean didn't have to see Cas to know he was smiling against his skin.

“Yoga?” Dean wrinkled his nose, trying to picture himself contorted into different positions. “Not sure I’m flexible enough for yoga.” He paused and turned his head to look at Cas. “Be...fun to see you do it, though.” Now _Cas_ he could imagine bent all sorts of ways. He wasn’t at all surprised his Alpha did yoga. He definitely had the body for it.

“Just how flexible are you, Cas?” Dean asked, a smirk on his lips.

Cas pulled back and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Oh, so you're interested? I guess you'll need to try it with me sometime to find out.” He settled back and pulled Dean with him. “But really, you don't really need to be that flexible to start. Just try your best, and eventually your body will be able to do things you never dreamed it could.”

Dean cleared his throat and blushed even though he was pretty sure Cas didn’t mean it like _that_. It brought interesting images to his mind that he had to shake off and made his body heat up.

“Yeah,” he murmured, his hand slipping down the inside of Cas’s thigh. "We can...we can do that.” He shifted and willed his dirty thoughts away. Honestly, he’d never been a very sexual person for obvious reasons, but Cas really brought it out in him. His scent and hormones were constantly spiking, and he found himself thinking of him and Cas together frequently.

“I can't wait.” Cas hummed and nipped at his ear, and okay, _that_ was definitely suggestive. Dean shuddered and Cas chuckled, snaking his arms around his waist and squeezing.

They just sat and talked for the next couple of hours, Rory popping in every once in awhile to show them something she drew or tell them something about her day. Finally Cas excused himself to put Rory to bed, returning half an hour later to resume their previous cuddling.

Dean turned on his side so he could lay his cheek on Cas’s chest, the sound of the Alpha’a heart beating in his ear. He fidgeted with Cas’s shirt, Alpha’s arms wrapped securely around him, and thought _this_ is what he’d really been missing his whole life. A pack was okay, friends were good, and he was sure sex would be nice, if and when they got there...but this feeling of safety and warmth beat them all.

He was pressed up against Cas, not a sliver of space between them. Alpha’s scent was comforting, surrounding him like a thick blanket that Dean wanted to curl inside of. For all that solid muscle, Cas was very comfortable to lay against. So much so Dean would probably fall asleep if he wasn’t so determined to have some alone time with Cas.

“You’re comfy,” Dean murmured into Alpha’s chest. “Much better than my bed.”

“Ah, so all this interest was just a ploy for a better night’s sleep, then. I should’ve known it was too good to be true...young, beautiful Omega like you being interested in an old man like me.” Cas tried to look offended when Dean looked up at him but failed, instead grinning widely, his wrinkled nose and crinkles around his eyes making him look old and young simultaneously. He ran a hand through Dean’s hair and let it rest on the back of his head, the other arm wrapped securely around his waist.

Dean rolled his eyes and laid his head back down with a soft snort. “Yeah. Got me. This _whole thing_ was to get more sleep. Worked like a charm.”

One hand rested on Cas’s chest while the other slipped down and under his shirt to spread across his stomach. Dean played with the hair just under Cas’s belly button and began purring softly, his chest vibrating against Alpha’s.

“Can I ask you something a little personal?” Cas asked after awhile, the hand in Dean’s hair slipping down to his back. Dean looked up at him and shrugged.

“Sure.”

Cas chewed his lip and plucked at Dean’s shirt. “Have you...ever had the desire to find your family again?”

Dean averted his eyes to gaze down at Cas’s chest, following the lines of the small section of the tattoo he could see. “...I guess? Sometimes,” Dean muttered, his voice slightly muffled by Cas’s shirt. “At first I tried...you know, just a kid who wanted his parents back. Didn’t really understand-or _want_ to understand-why they left me. Eventually accepted it, though. Figured, if they don’t want me, why waste my time? They made the choice to leave. As much as I wanted a mom and dad, I didn’t want ones that didn’t love me enough to stay.”

“I just...I can’t imagine parents not _wanting_ their children. Especially over how they present.” Cas shook his head, his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. “It’s not something you can control, it’s just...who you are. I don’t care what Rory presents as, because she’s special and important and loved no matter what. It just...frankly, it pisses me off that your parents could just leave you to die because you’re an Omega. But if you had wanted to try to find them...I would understand that, regardless of what happened between you in the past.”

Dean gave a small smile and pressed a kiss to Cas’s collarbone. “Not every parent is as accepting as you, Cas. I’m not the only Omega to be abandoned.”

He sat up to wrap his arms around Cas’s neck, his legs straddling Cas’s lap, and bumped their foreheads together. “Maybe one day...I’ll see where they ended up. I haven’t thought about them much for a long time. Haven’t really cared to go looking, but...I guess I’d like to see them again. Just so I can show them I survived anyway.”

“You’re so strong,” Cas marveled, grazing his fingers possessively up Dean’s neck and along the curve of his jaw. “Intelligent, strong, resilient. I’m in absolute awe of you.”

Dean blushed and looked down. “Was just doin’ what I had to. Nothin’ special.”

“It’s incredibly admirable. Many would have given up. Not you.” Cas tilted Dean’s chin up to capture his gaze. “You’re stronger than you think you are, Dean. To come here, alone and afraid, _especially_ of men like me...because it was a matter of survival. Then to make the friendships you have, handle a little drama with grace and poise…” the corner of Cas’s mouth quirked into a smile. “The way you are with Rory...everything, _everything_ you do amazes me.”

Dean blushed even more and wanted to duck his head, hide from that too intense gaze, but Cas wouldn’t let him. He fidgeted and squirmed in Cas’s lap, still unused to the way his Alpha showered him with praises at seemingly every chance he got.

“I don’t...don’t feel very strong,” he admitted after a moment of silence. “Feel like I’m always on the edge. Like anything could make me snap and break all over again.”

“That won’t happen.”

“You don’t know that.”

Cas sighed and pulled him in for a kiss, desperate and urgent, tongues mingling and Cas’s hands tightly gripping his hips. Dean sank into it and all his negative thoughts dissipated, partly because Cas made him feel _that_ good and partly because he couldn’t think about anything other than the feel of Cas’s mouth on his and the implication of Cas’s fingernails biting into the skin of his hips.

Dean shifted on the Alpha’s lap, pressing as close as he could, preferring this over any kind of seriously conversation at the moment. Cas was warm, solid, _comfortable_ , and Dean wanted more of him. His hands travelled down to cover Cas’s, pressing down so those nails could dig just a little deeper.

Dean broke their kiss to breathe and attached himself to Cas’s neck. At first he just breathed in the scent, then he kissed and nibbled, until finally he opened up so his tongue could taste.

Cas hissed through his teeth and pressed up into him, one hand moving to grip the back of his head while the other fisted into his shirt.

_“J-Jesus, Dean,”_ he stuttered breathlessly into his ear, nipping at the lobe. He shifted under Dean slightly, his cock hard under his thin jeans and pressing against Dean’s thigh. Not that he minded, because as terrifying as the thought of having a knot inside him was, it was equally hot to know how well-endowed his Alpha was, and even more hot knowing that he was the only one that could get Castiel going like that.

It was strange how he could be so afraid of going there with Castiel, but also so turned on by it. Or perhaps it was normal...he didn’t really know.

All it took now was an image of Alpha bending him over and pressing into him, the idea of being stretched by his Alpha, of being pumped full of his seed, and Dean could feel himself begin to slick. His scent hit his nostrils seconds later and he knew Cas could smell it too when his movements became slightly more erratic and stiff, but Dean was taken by a strange sense of pride at how well his Alpha was holding it together.

“Mmm,” Dean hummed, lapping and sucking at the pulse point on Cas’s neck, Alpha scent clouding his senses. “Good Alpha...strong Alpha…”

The words fell out easily and once he started Dean found it hard to stop. “ _My_ Alpha….smell so good…” He rubbed and grinded down on Cas with emphasis, purring _alpha_ each time he said it. He slipped his hands underneath Cas’s shirt and shoved it up, showing off chest and tattoo, stomach and hip bones...all of which Dean really wanted to bite down on.

Cas’s fingers tangled into the hair on the back of Dean's neck and pulled back gently, exposing his neck. He leaned forward and sealed his lips over his pulse point, sucking and teeth grazing. He tongued down to Dean’s mating gland and sucked, smoothing it over with his tongue. Dean's whole body tingled with anticipation and he arched his back as his cock twitched and more slick seeped into his jeans.

Cas’s other hand moved from his back down, his fingertips barely sliding under his waistband and stopping, though Dean could tell he was practically itching to touch him, to stretch him open with long fingers. But he resisted, letting Dean set the pace when surely every instinct was telling him to push ahead.

Dean shuddered and bucked, pressing his crotch into Cas’s stomach and gasping softly. His hole clenched and slick gushed out more readily now, thoroughly soaking through his pants. He huffed and pulled back enough to unbutton his jeans and dragged down the zipper, giving them some slack. Dean reached around and grabbed Cas’s wrist, gently pushing his hand further down.

“Just...just one finger,” Dean said huskily, blinking into nearly black eyes and nostrils flaring when Cas’s scent thickened. He stared at the sharp points of the Alpha’s fangs poking out from his lips and his mating gland tingled.

Cas didn't move at first, nails biting harshly into Dean's skin. He unclenched the fingers in Dean’s hair and stroked gently, his voice coming out a soft growl. “Are you sure? Do you want this?”

Dean nodded and shifted restlessly on top of Cas, pressing against the frustratingly still hand. “Yes, Cas,” he growled back, chest rising and falling rapidly. He was scared, but it was _good_ scared. Like when he decided to leave and find this camp off nothing but rumors. He’d been terrified. The odds favoring his death long before he ever reached the place. It had been his choice, though. “Want this.”

Cas licked his lips and nodded, then slowly slid his hand further into his waistband, stopping briefly again a few inches in. He looked up and pulled Dean in for an unhurried kiss, his hand finally reaching where his slick started, and Cas moaned against his lips.

Dean actively tried to untense his shoulders, arching his back so Cas could better reach, inching his fingers closer to his clenching hole. Cas dropped his forehead to Dean's and his mouth hung open slightly as he pulled at Dean’s ass cheek, walking his fingers through the slick. Finally Dean felt a long finger circle his rim, tracing the muscle gently.

Dean automatically tensed, his back going rigid and his claws extending. He jerked and pulled his hands away from Cas so as not to hurt him, taking a few calming breaths. He _wanted_ this, damn it, but it was so hard to move past the fear.

He swallowed and pressed his nose into Cas’s neck, sucking in that scent, letting himself get high off of it. The smell of Alpha arousal hit him hard and he groaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head. His body gradually relaxed until he was sagging against Cas, rocking gently, murmuring incoherently into Cas’s skin. His mouth fell open and he sucked on the Alpha’s pulse point, his chest rumbling loudly with unceasing purring.

Cas massaged the back of Dean's head and tentatively resumed his movements, around his rim and over the puckered muscle, his finger causing an obscene sound through the heavy slick.

He took a shaky breath, fingers curling and uncurling in Dean’s hair. “If I need to stop, Dean, tell me.”

Dean shook his head quickly and rubbed his cheek against Cas’s shoulder. “D-don’t stop. Please, Cas...I want…” He inhaled roughly, a hand gripping the frame of the futon tightly, his claws digging into the wood. “Want you to replace them. The memories.”

He felt Cas take another deep breath and press forward, the tip of his finger barely breaching his rim. Dean tensed and clenched around him and Cas froze again, stilling his finger and whispering securities in Dean’s ear. His hand continued to more reassuringly through his hair as Dean began to relax marginally, sagging against him.

“You're doing great, sweetheart,” Cas murmured, rubbing his cheek against Dean's.

Maybe it was Cas’s voice, his gentle whispering, or his strong scent lulling his Omega senses into submission, but Dean was able to unclench around the tip of Cas’s finger. He inhaled shakily, uneven drawings of breath into his lungs, and whined softly into Alpha’s ear. “Keep...keep going,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I’m okay.”

Cas held him tight and pushed his finger deeper, thrusting it in and out slowly and moving it in circles, stretching his rim. His breath fell in short pants and the scent of his arousal thickened. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against Dean’s shoulder, pushing his finger in just a little further and crooking them downward, sliding them back out slowly.

Dean released a small moan and arched his back, pushing back on Cas’s finger. It didn’t hurt at all. His body was made for it and more, but even so that one digit felt huge inside him and his passage too tight. And...good. It felt good. Very good. He blushed heavily when his slick slipped out, no doubt covering Cas’s hand and making every movement sound completely obscene.

“More,” Dean murmured, grazing his teeth along Cas’s neck. “Alpha. More.”

Cas groaned and pushed his finger to the last knuckle, moving it in and out faster as more slick gushed around him. He found Dean’s prostate and massaged gently, gripping his head tightly as Dean convulsed on top of him. The tip of a second finger barely breached his rim but Cas didn't push any further, allowing Dean to adjust to the intrusion.

“Smell so good, Omega… that's it, relax for your Alpha.”

“Yes,” Dean moaned out and arched again, his head thrown back as that long finger pressed against _something_ inside him. He didn’t know what that was or how Cas knew to touch it just right, but it was fucking fantastic. His cock twitched between their bodies, pre-cum leaking onto Cas’s stomach and smearing as he writhed on top of the Alpha. Each tiny movement from Cas’s finger sent a spark through his system, a convulsion of shocking pleasure that Dean didn’t know how to deal with. He spasmed, his hand moving to grip Cas’s shoulder, the tips of his claws sinking into the skin. Dean’s hips snapped back, grinding down as his body sought more.

“ _S-shit_ ,” Cas bit out, rocking his finger in and out, brushing that little bundle of nerves with each pass. His hand dropped to Dean's shoulder and squeezed encouragingly. “Perfect, Dean, _God,_ you're perfect. Look so good, sweetheart…”

“Cas…” Dean whimpered, panting as he tilted his head and exposed his neck. He wasn’t even aware of it, nor of the steady rhythm his hips were moving to. They pushed forward to rub his cock against Cas’s now cum soaked belly, then backwards-Dean vaguely aware that he was fucking himself on that finger. His hole clenched, wanting something more, something bigger, and it was right below him. An impressive hardness pressed up against him needing, the clear outline of an Alpha cock and knot rubbing against his thigh. Just having that nearby was making his slick gland pump more and more, Dean crying out as the muscles down below slackened and spasmed, begging for that fat knot.

“Shhh… that's it, baby,” Cas thrust his fingers in and out of Dean's wet channel, reaching up to pull slightly at his bottom lip with his thumb. “God, you're so beautiful, Dean. So ready to please your Alpha…”

His fingers made a squelching sound as they drew out more slick, and though Cas was only using two fingers his entire hand was probably soaked by now. His body hummed with satisfaction over finally being filled, but it wanted more, _needed_ more....he needed larger, deeper.

Dean whined again, loud enough that he had to muffle it in Cas’s neck so it wouldn’t wake Rory. His cock throbbed, his channel pulsing, on the edge of release but not quite going over. “Alpha...AlphaAlphaAlpha…” Dean knew no other words, moaning it into Cas’s neck as he rocked his body. A hand found its way between their legs and pressed against the hard outline of Cas’s cock, massaging the knot. But they wasn’t enough for Dean. He growled and fumbled with Cas’s zipper, pulling it down before snaking his hand inside to finally grip his Alpha properly.

Cas arched against him and let out a strangled “ _fuck”_ before pressing his lips together tightly and glancing over at Rory’s door, then finally looking up at Dean with wild eyes. He bit his lip and plunged his fingers deeper, tentatively adding a third and feeling Dean’s hole clench around him, attempting to pull him deeper. Cas tongued his bottom lip as he panted, chest rising and falling rapidly while Dean stroked down his shaft and began to massage the knot at the base.

Dean hardly noticed the third finger, but moaned at the sense of fullness and grinded down more forcefully. He extracted his hand from the Alpha’s cock, earning a _very_ displeased growl, and quickly reached behind himself to soak his fingers in his own slick. Dean whispered an apology to his Alpha and wrapped his slick covered fingers around the pulsing knot below him, squeezing around it to simulate his passage. Cas felt huge in his hand and Dean wasn’t sure it would ever fit inside him, but judging by the flutter of his inner muscles his body seemed to think it would.

Cas was forced to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from crying out, his eyes wide and desperate. He bucked up into Dean's wet fist as his fingers continued to work Dean over, stroking his prostate with each pass. Dean's mating gland tingled as he was pushed closer to the edge, aching for Alpha to sink his sharp fangs in and claim him where everyone could see.

It wasn’t until Cas shoved in a fourth finger that Dean was suddenly coming, biting down on Cas’s chest to keep from crying out and just barely holding back on breaking the skin. He jerked in Cas’s lap, spilling between them, his hole fluttering around Cas’s fingers. He tightened his hand around the knot in his palm, milking it eagerly, wishing it was inside him instead.

Cas followed closely behind him, cock kicking between them and pulsing sticky cum onto Dean’s hand and his own stomach. His fingers gripped Dean’s hair as he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw, growling in his chest and panting. His fingers thrust inside Dean somewhat erratically as he attempted to work him through his own orgasm.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Cas breathed out again as his second orgasm hit, and Dean massaged the knot as he looked down to watch that precious seed spill between them, the scent of his Alpha’s arousal so pungent now that he could practically taste it.

In fact, he was determined to taste it.

Dean used his free hand to smear some of Alpha’s seed across his finger. He brought it up to his lips and sucked it in, immediately moaning from the warmth and taste that hit his tongue. If he could have come again he would, the taste so thick and heady it dogged his brain and his body sang with it, begging for more as his scent flared wildly.

Cas twitched as he came down from his high, sucking in a breath and carding his fingers through Dean's hair. He moaned softly and pushed his hips up slightly to give Dean better access.

“ _My Omega,_ ” Cas purred, running his hand down to cup his chin, pushing his thumb between his lips. “ _You're so good… so good, Dean…”_

Dean opened up and let his thumb inside, sucking it between his descended fangs. His purr doubled in volume and he sighed happily, green eyes finding black and locking gazes. Dean was flushed all over, sweat glistening off his skin, his hair a fucked out mess from Cas’s fingers tugging and pulling.

Cas eventually wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him flush, and they both laid there wordlessly for several moments as their breathing evened out. Their sweat began to cool, leaving their bodies sticky, the heavy smell of arousal in the air. Dean was once again thankful that Rory hadn't been able to scent yet. He glanced over but her door was still blessedly closed, and she was presumably sleeping soundly on the other side.

“How are you?” Cas asked quietly. “Was that… okay? Too much?”

Dean turned his head to look up at Cas and smiled, shy and gentle. “No...not too much. I’m...good. Really good.” He moved up just enough press a kiss to Cas’s lips. “More than okay. I...loved it, Cas. You were so patient...you felt so good, Alpha.”

“Good,” Cas huffed a relieved laugh. “That's good.” He rubbed his hands across Dean's back, nuzzling his neck and kissing gently. “You were amazing. In every sense of the word.”

Dean scoffed softly and looked down at Cas’s sweaty chest. He hadn’t even thought about what he was doing. Just let his instincts guide him.

“Don’t know about that,” he mumbled, laying his head back down with a sigh.

“Mmm, it's true,” Cas sighed, resting his cheek on the top of Dean's head. Another moment of silence and Cas tapped him on the arm. “Actually, we should, um…” he gestured between the two of them. Dean sat up and Cas got up and walked over to the kitchen where he wet a towel and brought it back over, wiping up the mess between them. They zipped back up and Cas sat back down, smiling over at Dean as he buttoned up his shirt.

“Just didn't want her to, you know,” he blushed slightly and looked down as he fastened the last button.

Dean smirked and situated himself to lie between Cas’s legs once they were both tucked away and relatively clean. The smell of their slick and cum tingled in his nose, teasing his senses. Omega refractory periods were much longer than that of an Alpha, unless in heat, so the scent didn’t do anything more than tickle. Still, it was nice, comforting even. It smelled like a satisfied Alpha, a _happy_ Alpha.

“Gonna be...awkward,” Dean chuckled, “when she starts scenting. Won’t be able to hide it.” He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling so loose and relaxed. "May have awhile before she presents, but the scenting will be coming soon, for sure."

Cas groaned, scrubbing his hand over his face. He laid his hands on his knees and looked up at Rory’s room, shaking his head. “At least here I know she's safe, no matter how she presents. What I worry about is… when she's older.”

Dean nodded in understanding, rubbing a hand up and down Cas’s thigh and blinking at Rory’s door. “I think she’ll be okay, no matter what she presents as. If she’s Omega, then at least she’s safe here. Heats won’t be too bad for a year or so. If she’s Beta, then there’s nothing to worry about. If she’s Alpha…” Dean trailed off, biting his lip. Female Alphas were just as rare as male Omegas. She’d have it easy as far as biology was concerned, but being Alpha presented problems in a camp like this. A child Alpha wasn’t a big deal, but once she got older…

“If she's Alpha, she may not want to stay,” Cas finished for him, looking at him with sad eyes. “And even if she does, considering I've never allowed other Alphas to stay here… I'm not sure how the pack would take it.” He scratched idly at his cheek. “Anyway. Perhaps that was a little… risky of us.” He huffed a laugh. “Worth it, though.”

Dean snorted, though he agreed it had definitely been worth it. Letting an Alpha in for the first time (willingly) was a monumental step for him and he was glad to have taken it with Cas. Fingers weren’t knots and he knew the first time Cas knotted him it would be awkward, tense, and would mean a lot of patience from his Alpha.

“Guess we should...sleep,” Dean muttered after a while of comfortable silence. He glanced at Cas’s bed. It looked soft and no doubt was saturated with Cas’s scent. He was sad he couldn’t share it with his Alpha, with it being the first time he was going to sleep in it, but it was safer this way. Falling asleep with Alpha nearby seemed to cause his hormones to peak, whether he’s conscious or not.

Cas nodded and stood, leaning back down to kiss Dean on the forehead, and Dean leaned back to capture his lips with his own for one slow kiss. Cas ran a hand through his hair and smiled.

“Gonna go wash up and get to bed. Let me know if you need anything.”

He disappeared through Rory’s door, and suddenly Dean felt very alone. The cabin seemed too big without Cas standing in the heart of it, and now that his high was wearing off, loneliness was beginning to sink in. He wanted more than anything to be cuddled together in that big bed, but he also understood Cas’s reservations, and while Rory had seemed okay about the two of them, it would be too much for her, too soon.

Dean sighed, resigned to his night of loneliness, and climbed off the futon. He came to stand at the edge of Cas’s bed, staring down at the colorful array of fluffy blankets and pillows, and rubbed his neck as he thought. He normally slept nude, but supposed that wouldn’t be appropriate. Humming, Dean decided to leave his shirt and boxers on, despite them being soaked in slick. Jeans discarded, Dean climbed into the bed and burrowed under the covers.

It was simultaneously relaxing and exciting, the softness of the nest of blankets like a cloud compared to his bed and the overwhelming scent of Alpha making his nose itch. He couldn’t resist burying his nose in a pillow and inhaling deeply. Then, feeling like a creep, Dean ripped himself away and turned to face the wall. He sighed and closed his eyes, wrapped up in layers of blankets, and eventually drifted off.

\----

“Dean!”

Dean jerked awake, his eyes taking a minute to adjust to the darkness. He felt like he'd just barely drifted off, and in reality it probably hadn't been long since he had. He squinted into the darkness, trying to find the source of the small whisper.

“Hey,” there was a tug on his foot, and he jumped slightly.

“Rory!” he whispered back roughly. “What are you doing awake?”

“I had a nightmare,” she said quietly, fidgeting with one of the blankets. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Dean blinked at the dark blob in front of him. “Well, I’m fine, so…” he jerked his head toward her room, "go back to sleep."

She didn’t move away. Instead, Rory climbed onto the bed and tucked herself right under Dean’s chin. Dean frowned down at her.

“Uh, what-”

“Sleeping here,” she said firmly, wrapping a small arm around him as much as she could. “So I can make sure you’re okay.”

“Rory, I don’t think your dad-“

“Please?” Her voice was so small, barely a whisper, and Dean detected a hint of _something_ he couldn’t quite name. He sighed in defeat and wrapped a strong arm around her.

“Fine,” he grumbled, closing his eyes. “Don’t kick me.”

She sighed and nuzzled up against him, pressing a hand to his neck and leaning up, inhaling deeply. Dean relaxed and pulled her in, resting his cheek on top of her head.

It might not be so bad, to be around a pup all day. Dean never claimed to be a pup kind of guy, but having moments like these with Rory… it made it seem like everything else was worth it. And she wasn't even _his_.

Suddenly he could imagine his own life, his own pup. Cas looking proud and happy and holding their pup, Rory meeting her new brother or sister for the first time.

For the first time, the thought didn't frighten him. For the first time, Dean felt like it might be something he wanted.

“Goodnight, Rory,” he whispered, but the little girl was already snoring softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! We have officially finished writing this story so the remaining chapters will be going up in decently quick succession. We can't wait to hear what you think of the finished story, and please recommend to your friends!  
> Additionally, we would both appreciate you looking out for our next long chaptered fic, Profess Unto Me, which is going to be posted in the SPN Canon Big Bang on July 20th. *Follow us on Tumblr at @holytrenchcoatedsubtextchuck and @deanmon69 for promos*  
> We have also started our third story together, which is an AU in which Priestly!LikeDean owns a diner and Cas is a cute photographer. Lots of fluff will ensue. Look for it to begin posting in the coming months!  
> Thanks for all your support!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sydney's getting lazy and having a shit day so this isn't Beta'd at all.  
> I'll fix errors as I see them and as always, if you see anything glaring, feel free to let us know in the comments.  
> Thanks for reading!

When Dean woke next, soft light was filtering through the curtains as the morning sun rose. It was quiet in the cabin, and Dean was very warm with two heat sources on either side of him. 

He glanced down sleepily at the pup still plastered to his front, then at the strong arm draped possessively over his waist. He felt hot air on the back of his neck and a hard body pressed against his back. Dean looked over his shoulder to see Cas sleeping soundly, his hair in disarray, soft snores escaping his nose. 

Dean smiled. No lonely night for him after all. 

He carefully turned so as not to wake either Alpha or pup, facing Cas and placing his face on the crook of his neck. He inhaled and sighed, a hand clutching at Cas’s shirt and the other stretched behind him to wrap around Rory. He fell back asleep, purring gently. 

\----

The sunlight was streaming brightly into the windows when he woke again, the loss of body heat a contributing factor. Rory was still tucked in beside him, sleeping soundly, Dean now on his back and her arm and leg thrown haphazardly over his body. Cas had disappeared, and a quick glance around the cabin left him to assume that he wasn't there. 

Dean pried Rory off of him and sat up, rubbing groggily at his eyes. He looked out the window down at the rest of the camp, seeing people already out and about. 

The door opened before Dean had a chance to consider getting up, and Cas came through and shut it behind him, stomping snow off his boots. He sat a canister on the counter, shrugged out of his jacket and kicked the shoes off, pulling his loose shirt down in the front.

“Good morning,” he greeted cheerfully, grabbing the canister and a mug from the counter and crossing the room. “Coffee?”

Dean blinked up at Cas as he tried to wake up fully, not understanding how Cas could be so chipper this early. Especially since the Alpha always looked exhausted. 

“Um...sure,” he murmured, watching Cas whistle as he poured them each a cup. He sat up and hung his legs off the side of the bed, yawning as he scratched at the back of his head. His hair stuck up in odd angles, evidence of a good night’s sleep. He glanced over when Rory muttered in her sleep, reaching for Dean’s pillow and snuggling into it before settling down once again.

Cas sat beside him on the edge of the bed and handed him a mug, squinting out the window over the brim of his own as he took a sip. 

“Just had to run down and check on Eileen. I try to check in as much as possible when there's an Alpha in the camp.” He reached over and squeezed Dean’s knee reassuringly. “All's good. Have you had the chance to meet Eileen yet?”

Dean sipped at his coffee and tried to ignore the odd skip of his heart. He’d forgotten about the other Alpha. The cabin was saturated with Cas’s scent, but he was sure if he stepped outside he’d smell the foreign Alpha in the air. 

“Ah...no, not yet,” he muttered, licking his lips. He paused, eyeing Cas curiously. “You, uh...I mean, you must not like it when other Alphas are here. How do you deal with it?”

“Well it's… not easy,” Cas admitted with a shrug. “But I want everyone here to be happy, and I want them to be healthy, and it's their right. Some want pups of their own, some want mates. Taking the opportunity away from them would… sort of make me a dictator, wouldn't it? That just doesn't sit right with me.”

Dean hummed, taking another sip of his coffee, and shrugged one shoulder. “Guess so. It’s just...Alphas are pretty territorial and your...um, scent is…”  _ Strong. Dominating. Possessive. _ “...potent.” He tilted his head at Cas. “I guess I’m just surprised you take it so well...and that these Alphas can even stand to be here.”

Cas slurped his coffee and held his mug in his lap between both hands. He stared out the window overlooking all the cabins and quirked a small smile. 

“Hasn't come without its share of issues,” Cas said steadily. “They're just… quickly resolved. I only work with Alphas whose moral and ethical stance is similar to my own. Those not from this camp who take issue with my policies are not tolerated.”

Dean raised a brow, wondering what ‘resolved’ meant exactly, then decided he probably didn’t want to know. “How do you know, though?” he asked, tapping his finger on the side of his mug. “That they...share your moral stance, or whatever?” He shook his head and stared down at the dark liquid. “I mean...you’re the first Alpha I’ve met that does this. Granted, I hid away most of my life, but still…”

“I just… talk to them,” Cas huffed a laugh and shrugged, looking down into his mug. “I don't know. I guess I've always felt like I was a pretty good judge of character. I go off of scent, too. Usually if I come across an Alpha that has issues with anger, things like that, I can detect it fairly easily.”

Dean frowned down at his coffee and chewed the inside of his cheek. He didn’t want to doubt Cas’s judgement, but every Alpha he’s met-present company excluded-has had ‘anger’ issues. They took what they wanted, even if it meant tearing up a few helpless Omegas. 

“I suppose you know what you’re doing then,” he murmured, setting his coffee aside and standing to stretch, popping a few bones in the process. It did little to relieve the tension in his shoulders and he knew he wouldn’t be able to relax until the strange Alpha was far, far away from him and this camp.

“I keep a very close eye, Dean,” Cas said calmly, looking up at him. “And there's Benny and several others who help me do that. It's still a safe haven. I promise there's no need to worry. Any threats are eliminated before they have the chance to begin.” He looked over at Rory and placed a hand on the sheet above her leg, then back up at Dean. “You and her especially… I'm not going to let anything happen, I can promise you that.”

Dean knew, rationally, that even with another Alpha given temporary permission to be inside the gates that he was safe. That even if said Alpha decided he wanted to cause trouble, he had a huge pack and a strong Alpha to contend with. But that was the thing about fear. Often, it wasn’t rational at all.

The Omega sighed and nodded, wishing he felt as confident about this as Cas did. He supposed, with time, he’d get used to this, but he didn’t think it’d be any time soon. 

“I know…” Dean said, “I know. Just...can’t help it. Even if I can’t smell him, just knowing there’s another Alpha nearby...I freeze up.”

“I understand,” Cas said, nodding and glancing down at Rory, giving her leg a shake. She sniffed and rolled over with a grumble, and Cas rolled his eyes and turned back to Dean. “If it helps any, I planned to accompany you anywhere that's not this cabin as long as he's here, unless you explicitly ask me not to.”

Dean pressed his lips together and forced a smile, then nodded. 

“Rory, sweetie,” Cas nudged her again. “You hungry? I brought some of Missouri's banana bread.”

Dean licked his lips but before he could ask, Cas pulled out a small sack that he was sure held the bread, holding it out to Dean. Cas looked over and winked slyly, then went back to waking Rory. 

Dean hummed and snuck a few bites of bread just as Rory began to stir.

“Nabred?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

Cas chuckled. “Yes,  _ banana _ bread.”

She sat up with some help and blinked groggily up at Cas, then at Dean, and brightened just a bit.

“Is he eating my bread?” she asked with a small smile.

“No,” Dean said, mouth full. “ ‘s mine.”

She giggled, wrapping the big blanket on the bed around her shoulders.

“Maybe he’ll share,” Cas smirked.

“Nah,” Dean shrugged, pointedly stuffing more bread into his mouth.

Rory stood on the bed with the blanket cascading down her shoulders and hopped toward Dean, reaching out when she got close. He frowned and pretended like he was going to run away with the treat, but he broke off a chunk and handed it to her and she shoved it indelicately into her mouth. 

She looked at Cas and uttered something muffled, but he frowned and shook his head.

“Sorry, didn’t understand that,” he teased, poking her in the stomach. “Try again when your mouth’s not full.”

She rolled her eyes and plopped down on the bed, chewing through her large bite of bread. “Can I go see if Benny will take me fishing?”

“Benny’s got his hands full today, kiddo,” Cas said as he stood and took another slow sip of his coffee. Dean frowned until he realized that Benny was likely the primary one in charge of keeping an eye on Eileen while her Alpha was here. He was easily the biggest one in the camp, and he was definitely a little more than intimidating, even only being a Beta. 

“I, uh…” Dean cleared his throat and shrugged. “I can take you fishing...Rory. You know. If you want.”

She beamed up at him, some banana bread on her teeth. “Really?”

Dean bit his lip and nodded, wondering just what he’d gotten himself into. Where had that even come from anyway? He barely knew how to fish. 

“Yeah. I mean,” Dean nodded towards. “As long as it’s okay with your dad.”

Rory looked to Cas and hung her lip. “Please, papa?”

Cas looked between the two of them and slowly raised his mug to his lips, taking a sip before he finally shrugged. “It’s fine with me.” He looked to Dean. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with that?

Dean half-shrugged, half-nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay, then. I guess I’ll give Benny a hand around here, then.” Cas gestured to Rory. “Go ahead and get dressed. Dress warm. Gloves and socks.”

She jumped off the bed and scrambled to her room to get dressed. Dean snorted and sat on the bed next to Cas, bumping their knees together. Being alone with the pup for any length of time was a daunting task, but Cas needed to make sure things ran smoothly with another Alpha in the camp and Dean didn’t want him babysitting him just because he felt nervous. While he would much rather have Cas’s attention at all times, he knew that was selfish and unrealistic.

“Won’t be gone too long,” Dean murmured. “I’ll make sure she stays warm. And maybe we’ll actually catch some fish for dinner.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas smiled softly. He reached over to put his mug on the table and turned to pull Dean into a hug, meeting his lips as he pulled away in a hard kiss. Cas leaned back and brushed fingers over Dean’s cheek, his other hand firmly gripping his knee. “If you do catch some, I’m sure Rory would love to accompany Missouri while she prepares it.”

Dean frowned at first, disappointed that Cas implied he wouldn’t be the one making dinner, but he quickly realized the underlying implication and blushed. Alone time with Cas made everything worth it.

“I’m sure she would,” Dean finally agreed, nodding subtly. 

Rory bounded back into the room and held her arms out, dressed in unlaced boots and purple windbreaker pants, a pink and white striped shirt with her puffy green jacket, and her stocking cap. “This okay?”

“It’s perfect,” Cas said as he turned his attention to her. “Just don’t forget your gloves.” He pointed over to the counter and she ran over and began to put them on.

Cas turned and gave Dean one more kiss, then stood and helped him to his feet. “Benny should have everything you need. You can walk down with me, if you wish.”

Dean nodded and quickly pulled his jeans on, grimacing slightly when he caught wind of his slick from last night. “Uh, actually...could you, maybe take her and wait for me? I need to uh, change my clothes.”

Cas’s coughed and nodded his head, nostrils flaring slightly. “Ah, yes. Yes, we will meet you there then.”

Dean nodded and pulled on his jacket and boots, both of them ignoring Rory’s questioning look. All three left the cabin together then veered off, Dean towards his own cabin and Cas and Rory towards Benny's. 

Dean trudged quickly through the snow, the foreign smell of Alpha in the air getting stronger the closer he got to the Omega cabins. Eileen was only a few doors down from him, but the only thing Dean knew about her was that she was deaf, hence why he’d never interacted with her. He knew nothing about sign language.

When Dean finally got to his cabin, he paused and sniffed the air curiously. The strange Alpha smell was strong, but it tickled Dean’s memory. It was weirdly familiar and for some reason he thought of his father. The scent was akin to leather and smoke, with cedar underneath it all. Not unpleasant, but not something Dean associated with good feelings either.

He shook his head and ducked inside his cabin to change, clearing thoughts of his lost family and strange Alphas. He had enough on his plate already.

He changed quickly and met Cas and Rory at Benny’s cabin without so much as another glance toward Eileen’s cabin. Benny answered the door and gave him a wide smile, smacking him playfully on the shoulder. Dean hadn’t realized how long it’d been since he really talked to Benny, and he found himself really happy to see him.

“Heya, Dean. See you’re taking my girl out today,” he gestured over his shoulder at Rory. “Take care of her now, ya hear?” He leaned in close and whispered quietly, “And good luck catching anything, what with that mouth of hers always flappin’.”

Dean smiled and chuckled, watching as Cas tried to talk Rory into the small pole even though she was a “big girl who didn’t  _ need _ the baby pole, papa”. 

“No kidding,” he muttered with a shake of his head. “It’ll be good, though. Keep her busy. When she gets bored she wanders off. She’s gonna give Cas a heart attack if she keeps doing that.”

“Dean!” Rory’s voice rang out. “Tell papa I can have the big pole.”

“The small pole catches more fish,” Dean said with a shrug. “I mean, if you  _ want _ to catch less fish than me-”

“No way!” She pouted, snatching the small pole from Cas’s hands. “I’m catching more fish.”

Dean smirked to himself and Benny snorted a soft laugh.

“Alrigh’, well me and old boss here will keep things tame around here while you're gone, cher,” Benny said as he got down on a knee in front of Rory and tugged at one of her braids. “Think you can keep Dean in line?”

“Definitely,” she said with a toothy grin, and looked up at Dean as she wrapped her arms around Benny’s neck. 

Benny patted her on the back and stood back, letting Rory skip over to Dean. Cas nodded to the two of them and Dean gave them a wave, then they were out the door. 

There were two smaller Betas outside Eileen’s cabin, presumably while Benny was away. Rory glanced over and back at Dean, tugging at his hand. 

“Thank you for taking me, Dean,” she said sweetly, beaming up at him. 

“No problem, kiddo,” Dean said, shrugging. “Need to get better at it anyway.”  _ Plus I need something to keep me busy while your dad is being Alpha for the pack. _

They walked towards the lake in mostly silence, Dean helping Rory when the terrain got a little too rough for her small legs. He found them a log to sit on and dragged it over, wiping off the fresh snow. He made sure Rory was comfortable and relatively warm, then set up their bait and helped Rory cast hers. She insisted she could do it, but the image of a sharp hook embedding itself in her skin wouldn’t leave him alone.

Dean finally settled next to her and sighed. He wondered if Benny had a fishing boat. They’d probably catch more in the deeper part of the lake. 

“You know how to swim yet?’ Dean asked, glancing at the pup. 

Rory nodded excitedly. “Yeah, Papa and Uncle Benny taught me last summer.” She furrowed her brows at him. “Do you know how to swim?”

“Of course,” Dean said, acting offended. “Why, you didn’t think I could?”

Rory giggled and shrugged, moving her pole back and forth and watched as the water below rippled. Dean sighed. No wonder Benny rarely let her fish with him. They’d be lucky to catch anything at all.

“Papa said maybe if you wanted to I could teach you how to read,” Rory said a few moments later, engrossed in watching her line dangle into the water. “I was thinking, maybe...we could read my Mama’s journal together.”

Dean tongued his cheek, tapping a finger on his fishing pole. He wasn’t too sure Cas would like that or not. It was hard to tell with Cas sometimes.

“You...want me to read it?” he asked her quietly. “You don’t have to share her journal with me. We can read something else…”

“I just thought…” she frowned at the water and sighed, her little shoulders rising and falling. “Papa won't read it with me, and I thought maybe… if you were around, and we read it together, maybe he would too.”

Dean considered that and all the things Cas had said to him about growing and healing in Eden. It seemed like a huge oversight that Cas seemed to be the only one not taking the necessary steps to move past his own trauma. 

“Why won't he read it, Rory?” Dean asked finally, looking down at the girl. 

“Not sure,” she answered, fiddling with her fishing line. “I think he's afraid of the ending.”

The journal she kept while she was pregnant. So of course the ending would be… abrupt. Dean's heart clenched at the thought of Cas reading Ysabella’s final words to their daughter. 

“You might be right about that,” Dean nodded, watching the water ripple slightly with the wind. “...He should, though. She would’ve wanted him to, I think.”

Rory bit her lip and nodded, legs swinging back and forth. “Mama wrote about him a lot. Wrote to him, too, at the end.”

Dean looked over at her and frowned. “Have you told him that? That she wrote to him?”

She sighed and nodded. “Yeah. He still wouldn’t read it.”

Dean clicked his tongue, staring at the water intently. It wasn’t his business, really. How Cas chose to deal with his grief over Bella was his choice and as Alpha, his decision was law. Even with emotional crap. Still, Dean felt that maybe Rory was missing out on something important. She would never meet her mom, but stories would help, right? Sharing the memories, whether through a journal or otherwise, would help Rory know her mom a little better. 

“Maybe we can just read something else,” Rory tried to sound nonchalant. “I think I have  _ Harry Potter,  _ and Papa has  _ Moby Dick- _ ”

“Hey, you know what?” Dean interjected,  “The journal sounds great. Maybe just… let me see what your papa says first about me seeing it, okay?”

Rory smiled up at him. “Okay.”

Dean smiled back at her, a genuine smile, happy to see her...well, happy. His Omega instincts soared with the knowledge he’d made his pup happy, which he quickly squashed because she was  _ not _ his pup.

“So,  _ Harry Potter _ ,” he hummed, gaze going back to the water. “Heard of that one. He’s a...warlock?” He tested the word on his tongue, realizing he’s never said it outloud.

“Wizard,” Rory corrected with a nod. “And an orphan. He has a fat cousin and a mean uncle and aunt. But then he goes to a cool school, has a pet owl, and makes friends with a  _ very  _ smart girl, Hermione-”

“Her what?” Dean blinked down at her, frowning.

“ _ Hermione _ ,” she said, exasperated. 

“The hell kind of name is that?” Dean blurted out, then winced slightly. Did Cas let her hear that kind of language?

“British,” Rory said smartly.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Okay, well, it’s still weird. And you shouldn’t tell me the whole thing, by the way. ‘Cause then I won’t have to read it.”

“Fine,” Rory huffed, but Dean laughed and nudged her, and she tried to hide her smile. 

They stayed a few more hours, ending up catching two small fish, before Rory complained of the cold. Dean bundled her back up and took all of their equipment in one hand, taking her hand with the other and leading them back to camp. 

Her nose and cheeks were red when they returned, and Dean stepped up on Benny’s porch to relieve himself of their equipment. He sat down on the top step and motioned Rory forward, then blew hot air between his hands and rubbed at her nose and cheeks with a gloved hand. She closed her eyes and leaned into it, and he took a moment to look around. 

It was a little late for lunch, and it was weirdly quiet for the time of the day. But the people outside seemed to be acting normal, if a little on edge. Perhaps the idea of another Alpha in camp made others nervous too.

“Ready to go see Missouri?” he asked the pup, turning his attention back to Rory. She nodded and took his hand, smiling as he squeezed it and began walking towards the kitchen.

“It’s always like this when there’s a stranger here,” she said suddenly, glancing over her at shoulder as one of the Omegas hastily slipped inside her cabin. 

“Ah, yeah?” Dean blinked and glanced around. “Does it...bother you? When there’s a stranger here?”

“Not really?” she shrugged, swinging her free arm. “Papa doesn’t usually let me meet them. No one else seems to like it, though...I don’t really get it.”

Dean sighed as they came up on the kitchen cabin and could hear Missouri’s voice over the noise of pots and pans. “It’s complicated.”

Rory grumbled. “That’s what papa said…”

Dean helped her up the steps and they stomped off their boots before stepping inside the cabin. 

“Well hey there, babies!” Missouri slung her apron from around her neck and wiped her hands on a dish towel. She bent down and pecked Rory on the forehead and gestured to Dean’s bag as she straightened. “Got somethin’ for me?”

“We caught two!” Rory proclaimed proudly, and Dean smirked and handed her the bag. “Dean is a really good fisherman.”

“Is he, now?” Missouri pursed her lips into a smile as she glanced at Dean, then back at Rory. “You gonna stick around, help me prep them?”

Rory nodded and tugged at Dean’s jacket, and he leaned down to let her throw her arms around his neck. 

“Behave, okay?” he said, rubbing her back gently. “Do as she says. And don’t eat my fish.”

She giggled and nodded, pressing a kiss to his stubbly cheek. “See you later, Dean.”

“See ya, kid,” he murmured then, hesitating, kissed her forehead before pulling away. He turned to Missouri, who was looking at him with a twinkle in her eye, and scowled. Or tried to. It was more like a blush and a shrug while he looked at his feet.

“Go on now,” she said, squeezing his shoulder. “I’ll watch after the little heathen.”

“Hey!” came an indigent cry, which they both ignored.

Dean nodded, gave her a small smile, then stepped back out into the cold.

Dean started to head up to Cas’s cabin when he saw him and Benny emerging from Eileen’s cabin and stopping in the steps to talk. Dean took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back, then started toward them. 

“... I wouldn't think it would be more ’an another day or so,” Benny was saying as he walked up. “Heya, Dean.”

Cas turned to him and smiled widely, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he nodded to him. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean smiled back, step faltering slightly when the smell from inside the cabin hit his nostrils. 

“H-Hey, Cas,” he mumbled, sparing a glance at the cabin, very aware that only a door separated him from another Alpha. “Just, um, dropped Rory off with Missouri. We actually managed to catch something.”

“Miracles never cease,” Benny chuckled, adjusting his hat. He didn’t miss the way Dean stepped closer to Alpha, putting Cas between him and Eileen's cabin. Frankly, he was surprised Dean was even tolerating being this close. He was either making good progress or just trusted Cas that much.

Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him close as he flapped a hand between Eileen’s door and Benny. “Would you mind watching here for the night and giving me an update tomorrow?”

Benny tipped his cap. “Sure thing, boss.”

Cas guided Dean back to the path, snow crunching beneath their feet as they began the trek back up to the Alpha cabin. Dean looked over at Cas, who was looking thoughtfully down at his feet.

“Was, um… was Eileen okay?”

“Oh, yes. She's fine,” Cas said, looking up at him with a smile. “Eileen has… decided to try for a pup… with her Alpha. They plan to mate.”

Dean almost tripped over himself, but quickly straightened when Cas gave him a concerned frown.

“O-oh, that’s...that’s good,” he said unconvincingly. He wasn’t sure why it was bothering him so much. He should be happy an Omega has found an Alpha she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It wasn’t that he unhappy necessarily, but perhaps...jealous. Jealous that she is able to move on, to have a family, and not be burdened by the memories of whatever past she had. To trust her Alpha fully.

He hardly noticed when they reached Alpha’s cabin and followed Cas inside almost blindly, blinking when he heard the door shut behind them. Dean breathed in slowly as he realized he was alone with Cas now, that now familiar feeling of giddiness and anxiety washing over him.

“Hey,” Cas took his hand and led him to the couch, sitting and pulling Dean between his legs. He wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his neck. “What is it? Anything I can do?”

Dean shrugged and leaned his head back, brushing his nose against Cas’s cheek. He clenched his trembling hands into fists on his lap. 

“Dean, if she…” Cas let out a breath. “If Eileen does mate with her Alpha, she'll end up leaving the compound with him. He won't stay.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean said, stuffing his stupid hands under a thigh and huffing. “That’s not...not what’s...I mean, I don’t  _ like _ him here, but…” He sighed and closed his eyes, focusing on Alpha’s scent and presence for a moment. “Just feel...behind, or something.” He frowned and shook his head. “No, that’s not right. I dunno what I’m tryin’ to say.”

“Behind? Like...as far as...mating? Having an Alpha?”  
“I guess.”

“Dean,” Cas said incredulously, sliding his arms up to wrap around Dean’s chest and leaning back against the armrest. “You’re not... _ behind _ . You’ve been through a lot and you’re doing great getting back where you need to be. It’ll happen for you, one day when you’re ready. Everyone’s timeline is different, you know?” He rested his chin on the top of Dean’s head for a moment, looking past him to the window. “Eileen has been here for four years, and her Alpha has visited every month for almost two. Recently she started leaving a few times a month to visit him. I saw it coming awhile ago, just still makes me sad to know she’ll be leaving.” He shrugged. “But Sam is a good man. I think...honestly, I think you’d like him, too.”

Dean frowned doubtfully, but didn’t argue. It was a miracle he was able to be so close to Cas, and he knew they was because of Cas’s calm nature. Sam didn’t smell calm, or aggressive to be fair, but that odd familiarity didn’t sit right with Dean. 

“Whatever,” he finally muttered dismissively. “Just be glad when he’s gone. I don’t like another Alpha smell here. It distracts from you.” To emphasize his point, Dean turned his head and pressed his nose to Cas’s neck, inhaling slowly. 

“He’ll be gone in another day or so,” Cas promised, carding fingers through the back of Dean’s hair as he scented him. “But until then, know that it’s perfectly acceptable to me if you want to stay close enough to smell me over him.” He grinned slyly when Dean looked up at him, then shrugged. “No complaints here.”

Dean snorted, but he had a smile on his face when he pressed back to Cas’s neck. “Alphas,” he mumbled with a roll of his eyes. Although he wasn’t really complaining either. He liked being close to Cas, especially like this, with his nose buried in Alpha scent and skin. He wished Cas could scent him in return, but he supposed that was asking for trouble. So far Cas had done well with keeping himself in check (mostly) when he smelled Dean, but they always got a little closer each time. Closer to the edge, closer to pure, wild Alpha. 

“How long do you think we have?” Dean asked shyly, looking up at Cas through his eyelashes. “Until Rory gets back…” 

“An hour, maybe two, tops,” Cas said, massaging the top of one of Dean’s shoulders. “Missouri will probably have her help out with a few other things while she’s there, to give us some time. But she’ll be back just before dinnertime.” He raised a brow. “Why? Have something in mind?”

Dean blushed and hid his face further in Cas’s neck, mumbling incoherently. 

“Hm?” Cas smirked, sliding a hand to the back of Dean’s neck and squeezing possessively. 

“Nothin’,” Dean said louder, his ears burning. 

“You sure?” Cas leaned down to press his lips to those red ears. “You can tell me, Dean.” 

Dean squirmed, his whole body flushed now with embarrassment, and felt like a blushing virgin. Which he kind of was, but whatever. Didn’t mean he had to  _ act _ like it. 

“Just, um...wanted to...kiss, maybe…” Dean cleared his throat, his hands clenching Cas’s shirt tightly. He’d never  _ asked _ before. Any time they got hot and heavy, it had just happened. And Cas more or less initiated it, or at least heavily implied. Dean wanted to show he could initiate, too. That he was at least  _ trying _ to get past all his crap that kept them from mating like a normal Alpha and Omega. 

“And you thought you had to ask?” Cas scoffed lightheartedly, and he pulled Dean in for a kiss before Dean even had the chance to be embarrassed about it. He was once again amazed by how Cas could be forceful while also being gentle, crushing their lips together and tongue nudging the seam of Dean’s lips. Dean turned in his lap, hands coming up to fist into Cas’s hair as he laid across his torso and forced himself up, grinding against Cas’s front. Cas’s hands cupped his face gingerly, one moving down and gripping the collar of Dean’s shirt as he opened up and met Cas’s tongue with his own. 

Dean sighed when their tongues slid together and thought he was definitely getting better at this. He wasn’t as sloppy, or shy, and was braver as he explored that welcoming mouth. He curiously poked at a fang and gasped when it descended almost immediately, his body shuddering with the anticipation of having those fangs sink into his skin. 

Dean shifted, pushing himself to sit fully in Cas’s lap, not at all surprised to feel a hard cock beneath him. It didn’t take much to get Alpha going. 

He pulled off to breathe, his eyes falling to Cas’s bed, and he licked his lips. “Can we…” he tilted his chin at the bed, glancing at Cas nervously. 

Cas pressed his lips together and looked at him for a long moment, finally nodding. “If you want to, sure.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah...yes, I want to.”

Even as they moved to the bed, Dean’s head was screaming at him. Not all of it was bad, but there was a loud portion telling him how stupid he was for getting this close, for intentionally putting himself in a position that he wasn’t prepared for. However, that part of his brain was being quickly overpowered by the excited part, the part clouded with arousal, the part that gave him dreams about Alpha’s knot being buried deep inside him.

Cas sat and tugged Dean gently down with him, pulling him back into his lap. Dean barely had a chance to blink before he was breathing in Cas’s air again, Cas’s hands caressing his face as he looked at Dean with awe, lips parted and blue eyes searching.

Dean focused on those eyes for a long moment, arms wrapped around Cas’s neck, their faces so close Dean could count each hair on the Alpha’s cheeks. This wasn’t so different from the futon, really. Just flatter. Bigger. Certain connotations, yes, but nothing would happen that Dean didn’t want to happen. He knew this down to his core. Cas would stop if Dean said so. 

When he felt himself relax, Dean leaned forward the small amount of space there was between them and brought their lips together again. He moaned when Cas slid his palms down to cup each side of his neck, thumbs caressing his skin. Dean tightened his thighs, pressing close, twitching when the knot below him twitched against his thigh. 

Cas pulled Dean’s bottom lip gently between his teeth then deepened the kiss, his hands sliding down to rest on the small of Dean’s back, holding him close to his body. When Dean slid his tongue against Cas’s, Cas moved his arms up and leaned forward, hesitating for a moment when Dean tensed against him.

“Just trust me, okay?” Cas said softly against his lips, and despite the fear, Dean did. Cas laid him flat on the bed and hovered above him, his hidden fangs and the blue of his eyes making him look much less intimidating than Dean expected. He paused with his fists clenched on either side of Dean’s head before leaning down and kissing him again, Dean’s hands immediately finding warm skin under Cas’s loose shirt.

He felt along a very biteable belly, then sharp hip bones and pressed his thumbs against them. Dean spread his legs enough to let Cas settle between them, his heart in his throat and his hands slightly shaking. Cas didn’t press his full weight on Dean, although he could tell the Alpha wanted to. It was in every Alpha to pin his Omega down, press and dominate and control. Maybe one day Dean could let Cas so that. Maybe even enjoy it. 

For now, Dean set the pace. He hooked one leg over Cas’s waist, squeezing and rolling his hips, gasping when their erections rubbed together. 

Cas pulled back and licked his lips, looking at Dean in  _ that way  _ he did that made him feel so bare and insecure, like he could see right through him. 

“You're doing so well, Dean,” he purred, leaning down to nuzzle his jaw and bite at his earlobe. “I would like to try something, if you're comfortable with it. Today, I want to make this about you. I don't need anything in return. However, if you can’t trust me, this won’t work. So if you’re not feeling comfortable, you need to tell me.”

Dean’s eyes widened slightly and he swallowed audibly. He ran his hands up and down Cas’s torso, the warm skin somewhat comforting as his heart skipped in his chest. He licked his lips, eyes darting to the window, then back to Cas. 

“Okay,” he said roughly, proud his voice only shook a little bit. He had no idea what Cas had in in mind, but he wasn’t  _ afraid _ . “I trust you. I’m...comfortable.” Dean rested his hands on Cas’s hips and squeezed. “Just, maybe..go slow.”

Cas nodded and pressed another kiss to his lips, this one soft and lingering. He sat back on his knees, looking up at Dean as his hands moved to Dean’s waist and began to tug at the button on his jeans. Dean looked down, embarrassed, as Cas worked the jeans and underwear down his thighs, freeing his straining cock. It laid against his stomach in anticipation of whatever Cas had planned, smearing precum against his skin.

Finally Cas pulled the jeans off and sat them to the side, and his hands gripped Dean’s ankles and slid all the way up his legs, past the ugly scars and back up to his stomach. 

“How are you doing?” Cas asked, and Dean nodded nervously.

“Good. I’m good.”

“You’re sure?”

Dean reached out and cupped Cas’s jaw momentarily, the corner of his mouth quirking into a smile. “Yeah, Cas.”

Cas hummed and bent down, licking a long stripe up Dean’s cock. Dean twitched and arched slightly off the bed, gripping the sheets at his sides. A new wave of slick gushed out under him, and he worried vaguely about getting Cas’s bed messy. Cas didn’t seem to care, though, humming again appreciatively and giving his cock another experimental lick before taking him in his mouth.

Dean moaned, half from shock and half from just the sheer pleasure of having warmth wrapped around his cock. He jerked off the bed, but Cas very gently pushed him back down, and Dean tried to mumble an apology only to have some garbled speech come out. He was too surprised to care, though. He never imagine an Alpha giving him this kind of attention. A male Omega’s cock, from what he’d heard and experienced, is generally ignored in favor of his slicking hole. Alphas didn’t care if the Omega came or not, just as long they got their knot buried. He should have known, of course, that Cas wouldn’t have that same mentality. 

“Cas,” Dean gasped, hands gripping the bed so tight his knuckles were white. “That’s-oh- _ good…” _

Cas reached up to take Dean’s hands, letting him squeeze them tightly instead of the mattress. He looked up at Dean as he pulled off his cock, gaze unwavering as he took him in again slowly. He laved his tongue over the vein underneath and swirled it around the head before sinking down and burying his nose in Dean’s pubic hair. He pulled off again and Dean huffed in frustration as Cas lapped teasingly at his slit.

Dean practically whined when Cas sat back again, but his breath caught in his throat when Cas let go of his hands and pushed gently at the backs of his thighs. He pushed them up and moved Dean’s hands to hold them, laying his hands over them for a moment as he watched Dean shift uncomfortably under him, face red and breathing erratic.

“We can stop, if you want,” Cas said, and his voice was steady and  _ in control _ , and of course, why wouldn’t it be? Cas made it clear on more than one occasion that despite their dynamics, Dean was the one in charge when it came to this. Cas wouldn’t hurt him. Cas, for some unknown reason,  _ loved  _ him. 

Dean bit his lip and shook his head. “No. Don’t wanna stop.”

Cas paused another moment or so, surely considering following Dean’s answer up with the inevitable “you’re sure?”, but it never came. He just nodded and laid back down, mouthing along his throbbing cock and out to press kisses to the inside of his thigh. 

Dean’s hands shook as he held his thighs up and watched the mess of dark hair move below him. The idea of those pink lips touching him so gently in an area that never before received that sort of positive attention, Cas’s sinful mouth  _ wanting  _ him,  _ worshipping  _ him...Dean arched against the bed as his hole clenched and more slick seeped into the bed.

Cas growled low in his chest and Dean froze, but he instinctively didn’t feel as worried as he should have. Cas shifted and leaned back on his calves again, folding his hands over Dean’s and silently instructing him to pull his thighs up more. Dean obliged, the tips of his ears burning as he felt his hole practically on display, and he squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head to the side.

Cas made a disapproving noise, and Dean opened his eyes to the feel of Cas’s fingers on his chin. He opened his eyes to see Cas’s downturned eyes staring back at him, and he shook his head slightly. 

“Please, Dean. Wanna see you.”

It was surprisingly harder to simply  _ look _ at Cas in this moment than it seemed to be to present...or _ reverse _ present...to him....if that’s even what you could call it. He managed to keep his eyes trained on Cas and gave him a small nod, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

This time when Cas lowered himself back to Dean’s pelvis he dipped lower and pushed on Dean’s hands, forcing his thighs back further. Dean gasped loudly when he felt Cas’s tongue circling his clenching hole, the new sensation foreign and not at all unpleasant. 

Cas lapped greedily at his slick, which in turn produced more, and Dean closed his eyes moaned as Cas swirled his tongue around his leaking hole. His cock leaked precum onto his stomach, the head red and swollen, and he knew it wouldn’t take much more of this before he’d be coming and slicking everywhere.

Dean cried out when that slippery tongue breached his rim, the tip teasing just inside his hole. His arms shook with the effort to hold his thighs up, palms sweaty and slipping against his skin. The  _ sounds _ coming from Cas were just dirty, moaning and wet, squelching that had Dean’s face burning and he sure as hell couldn’t fathom actually  _ looking _ down there. He could imagine it, though. Cas’s eyes black with feral lust, his fangs descended, his face covered in Dean’s slick. 

The Omega groaned at the thought and arched his back, his cock kicking suddenly as he came, his seed spilling all over his stomach and his slick gushing out in such volume that Dean thought briefly he was going into his heat. 

Cas growled as he swirled his tongue around Dean’s hole, the sound of him lapping up his juices obscene and enough to have Dean blushing as he hid his face in his arm, mouth hanging open as he panted through it. Cas speared his tongue and gently probed Dean’s hole as it clenched and unclenched, consistently gushing more slick. 

When the orgasm subsided, Cas moved his way back up, looking up at Dean as he licked the mess off his stomach. He turned his head to the side and wiped his face on his sleeve before hovering over Dean again, then finally dipping down to kiss him. 

“You're perfect,” he whispered as he pressed their foreheads together. “Dean, that was… beautiful.”

“ _ Messy  _ is what it was,” Dean said, utterly mortified by the amount of slick still pouring out of him. He’d always been a heavy slicker, but it usually wasn’t like this until his heat hit. He licked his lips, tasting himself on them, and finally removed his arm from his eyes.

“Also really fucking great,” he said in a quieter tone, staring up at Cas with awe. “Didn’t...know we could do that.  _ You  _ could do that.” Dean cleared his throat. “You’re...um, good...with your tongue.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Cas grinned and stuck out his tongue, wiggling it around close to Dean’s face. Dean laughed and pretended to push him away, pressing his hands against his chest. Cas bent down and licked Dean’s top lip, then huffed a laugh as he plopped down beside him. “Well, we can do that literally whenever you want, because you taste incredible.” 

Dean’s smile was shy as he buried his face into Cas’s neck, inhaling the potent scent of aroused Alpha. He shifted himself out of the mess he made and pressed close to Cas, feeling the prominent bulge his Alpha was still sporting against his thigh. 

Dean looked down then nuzzled under Cas’s jaw with a small purr. “Sure you don’t want me to, um...help with that?” It wouldn’t be easy to will it away with the scent of his slick in the air.

“No, Dean, it's fine. Great, actually. I don't want you to feel it's necessary to reciprocate every time we make love. Sometimes I just want to please you.” He laid a hand on Dean's waist, splaying his fingers. “And I've actually proved to myself that I can do that without losing control. This is good.” He sighed and pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead, holding it for a moment. 

Dean sighed, his Omega instincts screaming to pleasure his Alpha, leaving him feeling oddly restless and twitchy. He nodded, though, understanding what Castiel was saying even if the concept was a little foreign to Dean. But a lot of things Cas did was foreign and strange, so he supposed this was something else he’d have to get used to.

He threw a leg over Cas’s waist, doing his best to ignore the insistant twitching bulge nudging his thigh, and slipped a hand under Cas’s shirt to trace idly at the hard curve of muscles underneath. It was weird, because didn’t  _ look _ like he’d be so solid, so...hard. It was proven every time Dean touched him, though, that the Alpha did not sit around all day. This was an active male with thick muscle underneath soft skin. 

Dean purred when Cas’s arms came to lock around him in a slightly possessive manner, a hand coming to rest on the back of his neck as he tucked himself under Cas’s chin. 

“How did fishing go today?” Cas asked after a long silence. “Rory was so excited that you wanted to take her. Looks like Papa isn't as exciting in his old age.”

Dean felt his grin before he pulled back to look at him, and he looked genuinely happy, a look that Dean had been lucky enough to see quite often lately. 

“I find papa plenty exciting,” he murmured, then scrunched up his face and shook his head. “That...sounded better in my head, but out loud is just sounds weird.” He cleared his throat and traced at a scar on Cas’s chest. “We, um, did good. Only caught two, but considering how much she talks and plays with her line, I call it a win.” 

Dean paused and looked up at Cas, tongue pressed against the back of his teeth. “She, uh...wants to teach me to read. With...with her mom’s journal. I, um...told her I’d make sure you were okay with that first.”

Cas frowned, a hint of something else in his eyes. “She… asked to read that? Specifically?”

Dean paused briefly. “Well… yeah. But she said you… that you didn't want to read it. So I didn't know if you-” 

“If you want to read it with her,” Cas started slowly, biting his bottom lip, “that would be okay. I just… don't think I can yet. To hear her voice in my head, I just....I can't do that right now.”

Dean pursed his lips and battled with himself. He didn’t want to push Cas, but Rory was desperately missing this from her dad. It wasn’t really his place though, was it? Rory wasn’t his pup, he wasn’t Cas’s mate; he didn’t even know what he was to Cas. 

“Alright,” he sighed, looking down at the small bit of mattress between them. “If you’re sure it’s okay. Not too sure why she wants to share it with  _ me _ , but…” he shrugged, “I just...I don’t want to cross any lines here, Cas.”

“I understand,” Cas said sagely, expression unreadable. “I'm glad she gets to have that from her mom. I just… honestly? I know I should be doing this with her. I've been meaning to talk to her about her mom, read the journal, answer questions. But Dean, I…” he swallowed hard and looked at him, looking a little lost. “I've only just been able to say her name out loud. Before it felt like… like if I said it, it would slowly kill what was left of her in my head. Like if I said her name enough, it would disappear from my mind completely. And I don't think I could hold it together for our daughter. I don't want her only idea of her mom to be sad.”

Dean took a long, deep breath and moved to sit up, smiling slightly when Cas laid his head on Dean’s lap. He carded his fingers through Cas’s seemingly untameable hair, chewing his lip thoughtfully. 

“Cas, I think…” he sighed and shrugged his shoulders, “You might get angry with me...I don’t know if it’s my place to say anything. I think it’s important you talk about her to Rory. I’m not saying it you have to right now. I’m just...she’s missing it, Cas. She watches all these other pups with their moms and...she doesn’t have that. She reads that journal to get a sense of it, but it’s incomplete. She needs to hear it from you. Read it with you. She needs to hear the stories. She just wants to know her mom, and it’s your job to let her.”

Dean held his breath as Cas chewed on the inside of his cheek, looking up at the ceiling. Finally he sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. 

“No, you're right. You're absolutely right. She deserves that. I had the pleasure of knowing her, but Rory never got that. And this is normal… it's something I've been expecting since she was born.” He paused, eyes unfocused as he stared ahead. “Maybe we both need it, a little.”

Dean let out the breath he’d been holding and smiled down at Cas, caressing his hair gently.  “Yeah, I think you do,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, Cas. Wasn’t tryin’ to...to push or anything. Just...I dunno. Worried, I guess. About her...you.”

“I guess I needed a little pushing,” Cas smirked, huffing a laugh through his nose. “In all seriousness, thank you for telling me what I needed to hear. I really appreciate it. No one else wants to admit that I ever do anything wrong.” He tilted his head. “Except Rory. She loves pointing out when I'm wrong.”

Dean chuckled, brushing his knuckles across Cas’s cheek. “Pups are like that. It is kinda funny when you’re wrong, though…”

He smiled when Cas smacked him playfully. He hummed and bent to press a quick kiss to Cas’s forehead. “Give me a few minutes. I need to, uh...clean up before Rory gets back. You made a mess of me.” Dean winked and climbed off the bed, heading into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Dean cleaned up quickly and when he emerged from the bathroom Cas was throwing a new blanket on the bed. He threw the other one in a hamper and walked over to the cabinet in the corner, producing a stick of incense and lighting it, standing it up in the holder. Dean met him in the middle of the room and wrapped his arms around his waist, and Cas draped his arms over Dean's shoulders. 

“So… feeling a bit more comfortable now?”

Dean nodded as they began to sway to some silent tune, his hands sneaking under Cas’s shirt because he just couldn’t help himself. “Yes…” he murmured, blushing lightly. “Slick a lot...gets everywhere.” He smiled and pressed closer to Cas, his chin resting on his shoulder. 

“Never danced with anyone before,” Dean sighed softly. “The gas station...it had this old cassette player. Listened to that thing until it broke. Then I would fix it...do it all over again. Would dance, if I felt like it...probably looked stupid, but whatever I was alone. Sang too...sounded like garbage.”

“I highly doubt that,” Cas said sincerely, swaying a little more boldly. His hands traveled down to Dean's waist and pulled him close, one traveling down his arm to take his hand and hold them to his chest. “You have a lovely voice. I bet you can sing really well.”

Dean scoffed and shook his head. “You know, you don’t have to flatter me anymore. You just ate my ass. Think you’re good for a while.” He blushed when his hole gave a twitch and shifted on his feet. Damn his body and it’s overreacting to everything when Cas was around. “And I really don’t. It’s awful. But I...liked to. It made me feel less alone.”

“Well, I'm not trying to flatter you,” Cas insisted, looking down between them. “I just…” he shrugged and smiled a bit, “think you're perfect, that's all.”

He cupped Dean’s cheek and pressed their foreheads together, rocking back and forth. “You'll never be alone again. And if you ever feel comfortable enough to sing for us, we'd love to hear it.”

Dean didn’t see that happening anytime soon, but he nodded and squeezed Cas’s waist, pressing his fingers into his hips. “Hardly perfect,” he muttered, then smiled softly. “But I’ll go ahead and let you think that.”

He glanced at the door and wondered how much longer they had until Rory showed up. He felt sort of bad for thinking it, but he wished she would stay away a bit longer. It was hard to get Cas all to himself. It was one of the reasons being mated to the Alpha would be difficult. So much of Cas’s time is taken up by the pack or his daughter. It was one of those things that Dean would have to learn to deal with. 

Thankfully, it was a couple more hours before Missouri brought Rory back up to the cabin, along with their prepared fish and a batch of cookies. Dean silently thanked her with a nod for taking the extra time to do that for his benefit, and she gave him a sly smile and a wink. He and Cas had plenty of time to do some talking and a lot of kissing, constantly toeing the line of Cas’s resolve.

Cas insisted on Missouri joining them for dinner, and they all ate while Rory highlighted in painstaking detail exactly what they did to prepare the fish. Missouri excused herself after dinner, getting hugs from all of them and a kiss from Rory, and Cas walked her carefully back down to her cabin. 

While Cas was gone, Dean got to work on the dishes. He washed and Rory dried, then they wiped down the small table before Dean told Rory she needed to take her bath. She didn’t argue and hugged him around his legs briefly before she disappeared into the bathroom.

Dean stood there for a moment, realizing he’d just sounded very much like a mom, and shook himself to clear the thoughts. He was making himself comfortable on Cas’s bed when the Alpha walked back in, bringing in a burst of cold with him. Dean grumbled and burrowed himself under the blanket, leaving nothing but his head poking out.

“Looks like Sam will be heading out tomorrow,” Cas said offhandedly, stomping snow off his shoes just outside the door, then closing it behind him. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on a hook by the door and kicked the shoes off, looking around the cabin as he walked over to the bed. “Rory…?”

“Tub,” Dean said gruffly, laying his arms over the top of the blanket. “Sorry, who’s Sam?”

“Oh, Eileen’s Alpha,” Cas responded, sitting down beside him with a huff. “Just saw him on the way to Missouri’s cabin. I suppose he’ll be back soon enough, if the breeding took. He was actually on his way to the medic cabin.” Cas chuckled and scratched absently at the back of his head. “The mating bite...looked like Eileen actually did a number on him.”

Dean swallowed and looked away, running his tongue over his small fangs. They always throbbed during a heat, itching to sink into the skin of an Alpha. Cas had his mating bite, though. Would he want Dean to bite? It wasn’t uncommon at all for Alphas to have multiple Omega bites, but he knew Cas wasn’t that kind of Alpha. 

“Hope they are...you know, happy. Or whatever,” Dean shrugged awkwardly. If Eileen was pregnant, that was another Omega he had to watch grow with a pup. She was so close to his cabin, too. Well, it just mean he’d have to spend more time with Cas. Or Rory...Benny...pretty much anyone so he didn’t have to see that.

“Yes,” Cas said slowly, narrowing his eyes at him. “You know, Sam is actually one of my favorite Alphas that comes around here. He’s smart, logical, controlled...always offers to help out before he leaves. Honestly, Dean, I think you’d get along with him.” He looked thoughtful for a moment, brow furrowing. “I was just thinking...I don’t know...just, now that they’re mated, and trying for a pup...um. Well. He’s going to be around a lot more often, until the pup is born or they can find somewhere else to keep Eileen safe while she’s pregnant. I don’t want you to worry each time. And...I don’t want to push you, but maybe...maybe it’d be best to just meet him.”

Dean tensed noticeably, his fingers digging into the blanket as he fought the irrational rise of panic in his chest. Just the thought of the Alpha  _ near _ him had Dean biting his lip to keep back a snarl. It was a reaction so ingrained he hardly knew it was happening at all. It was so stupid. If Cas trusted this Sam, then Dean had nothing to worry about, but he couldn’t help these survival instincts he’d given himself.

“You don’t have to, of course,” Cas added quickly, hands fidgeting in his lap. “It’s just...you live close, and I’m sure you will be able to smell him from there...I mean, if you don’t stay with me, that is. Which don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with that…” he sighed and chewed his lip, finally extending a hand in Dean’s direction. “It’s your choice. It just may make things... _ easier  _ for you. That’s all.”

Dean took Cas’s hand and played with his long fingers, feeling every rough patch and little scars from a lifetime of hard work.

“No, I...get it,” he said, his expression morphing into something unreadable. “Just...yeah, okay. I’ll try. To meet him, that is.” He shrugged half heartedly, dropping their entwined hands on his chest.

“I appreciate that.”

Dean looked up at him and hummed, then dropped his gaze back to their hands. They could hear water splashing in the other room from the tub, and Rory’s voice as she talked to herself, but it was too muffled to make out what she was saying. 

“You know…” Cas’s voice took on a sultry tone and Dean’s gaze snapped up as Cas shifted to lean over him again, smiling playfully. “Meant to tell you earlier, but...seeing you with Rory? All manner of hot.”

Dean raised a brow and felt his face heat up. He cleared his throat and ran his free hand up Cas’s chest, pausing at his collarbone when he was struck by how familiar his touch was. Like he’d been with Cas for years. It was all very...comfortable. 

“Yeah?” he whispered, lifting his eyes to gaze up at his Alpha. “I, um...never thought of myself as hot before.” He huffed a laugh and slid his hand up Cas’s neck. “You, though...you can do anything and it’s hot.”

“Mmm...well, you’re definitely hot,” Cas teased as he leaned down for a kiss. “As if you needed another way to make me absolutely crazy for you, you’ve found it.” 

“Think you were already a little crazy,” Dean teased back, catching Cas’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugging playfully. “Definitely at least weird.” He tilted his head and slid the hand on Cas’s neck to the back to tug at his hair. “But still very hot.”

Cas hummed again and nudged his nose against Dean’s, slowly lowering himself until their bodies were flush. Dean closed his eyes as Cas’s lips met his and their tongues tangled together, and he realized vaguely that something like this would have freaked him out just mere days ago. But Cas was gentle and Dean trusted him, knowing if he wanted him to move he would without question. It was strange that he hadn’t really realized this monumental shift until it had already happened, going from being practically terrified of Castiel to not being able to get enough of him.

The weight of Castiel on top of him was oddly reassuring, grounding,  _ safe _ . Although he knew how quickly that feeling could turn around, Dean very much liked having his Alpha like this. It was getting easier every day and that was exciting as it was frightening. 

When they broke apart Dean kept his hand on the back of Cas’s neck, silently asking Cas to  _ stay _ , keeping them close and breathing each other’s air. “I like it here,” Dean whispered, looking into Cas’s eyes and not sure if he was speaking of the cabin, the bed, or just being under his Alpha. Probably all of that.

“I like you being here,” came Cas’s answer as he ran fingers idly through Dean’s hair. “I had this…” he huffed a laugh, and actually blushed a little, looking down between them. “I had this kind of...vision, of the three of us living here...a family. And you…” he gave another nervous huff and shook his head. “Um. I’m just really...quite fond of the idea. Of the possibilities.”

Dean offered him a small smile and moved his hand to cup Cas’s jaw, loving the feeling of his scratchy stubble against his palm. “That’s...a nice picture, Cas,” he murmured, his smile widening as he traced the red on Castiel’s cheek. “You look really good when you blush, Alpha.”

“Oh, stop,” Cas said, turning his head to hide his face. “You don't like compliments, so I reserve the right to reject that one.” His face was still a little red when he looked back over, tugging his lip between his teeth. 

“Yes, but you force them on me anyway so…” Dean shrugged, biting back a smile, and poked at Cas’s red cheek. “And you almost never blush, unlike me who is permanently red when you’re around. So I’m going to enjoy this and there really isn’t much you can do to stop me.” 

“That sounds like a challenge.”

Dean grinned and shrugged. “Maybe.”

Cas opened his mouth to say something but Rory called him from the bathroom, and he groaned and let his head drop. “To be continued at a later time, Omega.”

Dean sighed and nodded, watching Cas pull himself off the bed to pad over to the bathroom. Cas stuck his head inside and had a muffled conversation, followed quickly by Cas grabbing a towel from the closet. He tossed it inside the bathroom then grabbed some sleep clothes for her, rolling his eyes at Dean. 

“She’s smart, but forgets everything,” he mumbled, passing the clothes to the pup before shutting the door. 

Dean snorted and sat up, rubbing at his face. “Wonder where she gets it from,” he teased, raising a brow. 

“Yeah, well,” Cas lowered his head and slowly tackled Dean back to the bed, purring softly and nuzzling his neck. He was smiling when he pulled away, eyes crinkling in the corners. “I’m old. I have an excuse to be forgetful.”

“You’re not old.”

“Let’s see…” Cas looked up thoughtfully and hummed, giving Dean the opportunity to appreciate the sharp curve of his jaw, his strong chin and the small dimple in the center of it, his pointed nose. His profile was honestly breathtaking.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I have gray hair, for one. My bones crack a hell of a lot more than they used to. I have a daughter, or approximately thirty or so pups that  _ think  _ of me as their father. What else?” He tapped his chin playfully, making Dean chuckle. “Oh! And when you were in diapers, I had already been struggling through ruts for eight years or so.”

Dean hummed and reached up, pressing his thumb to Cas’s chin and over a few strands of gray hair. “One, I like your gray hair. It’s hot. I like that you’re older. Two, everyone’s bones crack. You work hard so it’s gonna happen. Three, your daughter is still small and those  _ thirty _ pups are not actually yours. And four, I’m not entirely convinced I was ever in diapers. I think my parents strapped leaves to my ass and called it good.” 

He pushed himself up and nuzzled Cas’s neck, playfully nipping at another patch of gray. If one could call it a patch. “So if you’re old, then I must be into older men, because it’s really difficult to behave around you.” 

“Oh yeah?” Cas grinned and nipped playfully at his earlobe. “Well, then. Within reason, and for the sake of the joke, I guess if you misbehave...I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to punish you.” He shrugged his shoulders and tried and failed to keep a straight face.

“ _ Punish _ me?” Dean snorted a laugh. “Gonna make me drink more of that disgusting tea you make? Clean something else that hasn’t been touched in three years? That chimney was ridiculous. I bet if I looked in your stove it’d be a mess.” 

“I was thinking more so in terms of ...pleasure as punishment,” Cas tilted his head back and forth as he tried to find the words, looking smug and mischievous. “As in, I make you feel so good, that you need to beg me to stop.”

Dean’s eyes widened considerably and his all too familiar blush was back in full force. He cleared his throat and shifted under Cas, his lower... _ areas  _ twitching in interest. 

“Oh…” he said in a small voice, eyes dancing around Cas’s all too smug face. “Pretty...um, cocky...for an old man.” It was weak comeback and the blush didn’t go away. 

“Maybe. I'm sure I'm not what I used to be,” Cas joked, flopping to his side and groaning as he laid a hand over his stomach. “Honestly, I have enough trouble keeping up with Rory as it is. You too?” His cheeks puffed out as he exhaled. “Might be too much for me.”

“Because I’m so high maintenance,” Dean snorted and moved to rest his chin on Cas’s shoulder. “I can see how that pup of yours might wear you out, though. She never seems to run out of energy.”

He smiled and ghosted his fingers over Cas’s arm, playing gently over the skin and watching the goosebumps spread. “I think…” Dean grazed his teeth over his lip and lowered his voice, partly out of shyness and partly to keep Rory from hearing. “That...um, maybe...if you ever feel like you’re old...you should let me...show you how young you still are.”

“I think that sounds like a fantastic idea,” Cas said in a hushed voice, leaning over to Dean with a smile. He pressed their lips together briefly, running his tongue along the seam of Dean’s lips. “What did you have in mind? 

Dean felt a shiver go down his spine as a torrent of images flooded his brain. Some from the intimate moment’s he’s had with Cas and some, he knew, from the dreams his hormones conjured up. 

“I could...maybe…” Dean blushed and lowered his voice even more, pressing his forehead to Cas’s, “Do...what you did. Earlier. Maybe…” He honestly wasn’t sure if he could, but he couldn’t deny the curiosity. Dean had been very careful to keep Cas’s knot out of sight, out of fear that coming face to face with it would send him into a panic attack. He’s touched it, though, felt it, milked it. Maybe sometime in the near future, if his Alpha needed a little pick me up, Dean could actually do this for him. 

Cas’s eyes widened a little before he caught himself, clearing his throat. “I, um. I mean… that sounds amazing, but you know you don't have to. Not unless you actually want to… until you're sure you're ready.” 

Dean tried to hide his pride over the fact that he had that kind of effect on Cas with something as simple as talking to him. Cas looked more innocent now than Dean thinks he's ever seen him; wide-eyed and speechless… all over some light teasing. 

“I know,” he said quietly, casting a glance at the bathroom door when he heard the splash of Rory getting out of the tub. “Not sayin’ it’s happening like...tomorrow. I just think...that I would like to. Soon. I’ve already had dreams about it…” Very vivid ones. Ones that made Dean wake with slick on his sheets and his cock throbbing between his legs. 

“You...have dreams?” Cas asked, his voice almost cracking. 

Dean bit back a smirk and nodded with an attempt at a nonchalant hug. “Um...a few.”

“You-um.” Cas licked his lips and swallowed hard, waiting several seconds before speaking, his voice hoarse. “About me?”

Dean nodded shyly and Cas exhaled slowly.

“Can you… tell me about them?”

Dean licked his lips and nodded slowly, his fingers twitching on Cas’s chest-when did they get there?-and almost jumped when he heard the bathroom doorknob jiggling. 

“When she goes to sleep,” he whispered before pulling away, almost laughing when he heard the smallest of whimpers from Alpha.

He sat up just as Rory emerged from the bathroom, wet hair dripping onto her shoulders and soaking her nightgown. Dean clicked his tongue.

“Didn’t you dry your hair?” he raised a brow.

“Yes,” she said defensively.

“Uh huh. C’mere.”

She sighed dramatically and stomped over to him, saying nothing as he grabbed her towel from her and draped it over her head. 

“It’s too cold to keep your hair so wet,” Dean chastised, rubbing the towel over her hair thoroughly. “And you’re barely getting over being sick.”

“It’s not  _ that _ bad,” she grumbled.

“It was  _ dripping _ ,” Dean sighed, finally pulling the towel away when he was satisfied. She stuck her tongue out at him, but had a wide grin across her face. Dean rolled his eyes and handed her back the towel. “Go put that with the laundry.”

Still smiling, she skipped off to her bedroom. 

Cas brought their lips together so swiftly their teeth bumped together, and he pulled back with his hand over his mouth laughing. He reached out and touched Dean’s lips, grinning widely. 

“I'm sorry, are you okay?”

Dean huffed a laugh and grinned. “Yeah, I'm fine, Cas.”

Cas leaned forward gently this time and kissed him again, then retreated to Rory’s room. Dean could hear the muffled sound of their voices, and he'd just started to doze when Cas finally came back some time later. 

“Dead to the world,” Cas sighed as he plopped down on the bed. “She had a long day. Barely got through the first part of a story before she was out.”

“Mmm,” Dean scooted forward to press himself to Castiel’s side, his cheek resting on his shoulder. “We need to talk to Missouri and find out how the wore that girl out.” He chuckled and his fingers found Alpha’s chest again, tugging at his loose shirt. He let go a small purr, his chest vibrating against Cas’s arm. “Maybe it was all that fishing we didn’t do.”

“I’m gonna go ahead and not look that gift horse in the mouth,” Cas mumbled, taking Dean’s hand and pressing a thumb to his palm. He turned and adjusted his pillow over his head, raising his eyebrows. “So...about those dreams…”

Dean smiled, shy and small, and nuzzled into Cas’s neck. “Hmmm…” he licked at Cas’s pulse point, breathing in the scent and taste of his Alpha. “They were mostly during my last heat, but...sometimes they creep in. Like when we fell asleep in my cabin.” He lifted his head and looked down at Cas, tongue poking out briefly to wet his lips. “My dream...you were, um, inside. Buried, actually. Your...knot was stretching me, and then we locked, and you came…” 

Cas’s eyes widened again and he swallowed with an audible  _ click _ . “So, do you, um...do you have these types of dreams often?”

Dean shrugged. “Often enough.”

“And when you have these dreams…” Cas tongued at his bottom lip, “do you... _ enjoy _ being with me that way?”

Dean shrugged again and nodded, picking at a string on Cas’s shirt and avoiding his gaze. He was  _ not _ good at this type of conversation (or any for that matter), but Cas seemed to enjoy the fact that Dean was having these dreams at all. 

“I...yes,” he cleared his throat, “There’s...others. Um...had one where I was... _ riding _ you. And it was...deep. Swear I could feel it when I woke up.” Dean shifted, feeling a little braver now. “And you had your hands on my hips, digging in...thrusting up every time I slid down.” 

“ _ Jesus,”  _ Cas breathed, mouth opening and closing as he tried to find words. “I...that...that’s, um.” He cleared his throat nervously and closed his eyes for awhile, the pupils slightly dilated when he opened them again. “So...when you woke up, how did you feel? Did you…” he lowered his voice and leaned in close, until he and Dean were practically breathing the same air. “Have you ever come from that?”

“No. Slicked a whole lot though,” Dean bowed his head and blushed, working the top button of Cas’s shirt open, although Cas was so busy watching Dean that he probably hadn’t even noticed.

“Well maybe...I don’t know, maybe being here, after all that happened earlier…” Cas trailed off, then quirked a smile, one eyebrow raised. “Maybe that’ll help do it.”

Dean breathed unsteadily, working another button open, his hands only shaking a little. “Maybe….I don’t really...you know,  _ do _ anything,” he swallowed and shrugged, “I just ignore it...until it goes away.” He exhaled roughly and bent down to kiss at the exposed skin of Cas’s collarbone. Dean loved this spot, right below the neck and before the chest. “You’re the first one to...um, use his fingers. I’ve never even done that.” 

“I just love the idea of making you come in your dreams,” Cas smirked, finally having composed himself. “So how about tonight, I’ll worry about keeping Rory in her room, and you lay in here and consider the way you came for me earlier…” Cas nipped at Dean’s fingertips, finally taking his hand and kissing his wrist. “How my fingers felt, stretching you open...how my tongue felt...how  _ ready  _ for me you were.”

Dean flushed a deep red and his body clenched, breath coming out in a huff as his insides twitched. He hardly had to think about it. His body definitely remembered the way it felt to have Cas’s fingers inside, to have his tongue teasing his rim. 

“Okay,” he said roughly, pressing himself against Cas and purring loudly. It wouldn’t exactly be difficult. The bed was drenched in Alpha scent. All he had to bury his nose in it and his Omega hormones would do the rest. 

“Good.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him close, resting his chin on the top of Dean’s head and allowing Dean to scent his neck. Cas’s scent was a strange mixture of calm and arousal, but it was oddly satisfying. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to try to...suppress those thoughts right before I go to bed. Not much would be more awkward than that.” He chuckled softly. “But knowing you’ll be in here...being able to  _ smell  _ you in here...I like that idea.”

Dean wet his lips and pressed a kiss to Cas’s neck, deftly undoing yet another button. “When we can finally share your bed, without a pup, you won’t have to suppress those thoughts…” 

He lifted his head and brought their lips together in a chaste kiss, knowing if it got any deeper they wouldn’t stop. “And maybe you can tell me some of  _ your _ dreams.” 

“Mmmm,” Cas closed his eyes, humming as Dean pulled away. “I don’t know...not sure I’m ready to scare you away with the things my brain conjures up. Especially about you.” He opened his eyes and smiled mischievously, giving Dean a glimpse of his cocky Alpha side that he didn’t often get the chance to see. “But maybe one day I’ll tell you...in very  _ excruciating _ detail.”

Dean tilted his head, wondering what could possibly be so scary that Cas wouldn’t tell him yet. He trusted Cas’s judgement, though, and shrugged as he laid his head on Cas’s stomach. 

“Look forward to it,” he chuckled, pulling up Cas’s shirt so he could trace over the skin. 

Cas reached out to pull Dean up toward his chest and carded a hand through his hair. His nostrils flared and he frowned, then dipped his head, thoroughly scenting Dean’s neck. 

“Dean, when was your last heat? Are you...due for one soon?” 

“Mmm,” Dean hummed as he thought then shrugged. “My heats have never been on a schedule. Missouri said it should start to level out now that...um, anyway, but...I dunno. I guess it’s been a little while.” He lifted his head and frowned down at Cas. “Why? Do...do you smell something?” 

“I don’t know, you just smell...different.”

Cas chewed the inside of his lip, obviously puzzling over the nuances of Dean’s particular current scent. He leaned up to scent him again, this time briefly, looking even more confused when he pulled away again. “Doesn’t exactly smell like a heat, but maybe...maybe a really early warning, or something. I’m not sure. Either way, you smell good, so…” he shrugged and smiled, reaching up to poke Dean playfully in the arm.

“Hm,” Dean leaned forward curiously, sniffing at Cas, but all he got was beach and bonfire. Nothing out of the ordinary. He shrugged and poked Cas back, smiling down at him. “I guess as long as I still smell good…” 

It had him thinking now, though. What would happen with his next heat? Every heat without a knot at his age was risky. The fever, the pain, it all got a little worse each time. And if Cas was sent into another rut, it became even riskier. If Alpha couldn’t control himself, or if Dean became too weak to fight his urges…

“Hey.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, jostled from his current train of thought. Cas pressed his lips together and reached up, pulling the lip Dean hadn't realized he'd been biting from between his teeth and smoothing the indentations over with his thumb. 

“Don't worry, okay? I'm sure it's nothing. And if it is a heat, well… we've gotten through it before. We'll get through it again.”

Dean nodded, his tongue automatically darting out to taste Cas’s finger tracing his lips. He sighed and settled back on Alpha’s stomach, listening to the gentle breathing, and wishing they could stay like this for the rest of the night. Soon, though, Cas was pulling away with an apologetic look and a parting kiss. 

Once Cas disappeared into Rory’s room, Dean scooched up and pressed into the pillow. The scent sunk into him and he tumbled out a purr, still missing the heat of Cas’s body but enjoying the way he was surrounded by his scent that helped lull him into comfort. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys.  
> Lauren and I have been absolutely overwhelmed with the amount of positive feedback we've gotten for this story. We really did NOT expect all this. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for reading, and thank you so much for leaving your comments. The encouragement has been truly inspirational.
> 
> This chapter is unbeta'd, and all mistakes are our own.

In the dark, with nothing but the dying fire casting shadows on the wall, Dean let his mind wander. He let himself think about Cas, and the dreams the Alpha stars in, the way he opened Dean up with just a few fingers, how Dean’s slick had squelched and how his passage sucked up those fingers. 

Dean groaned and pressed his face further into the pillow, then moved to the mattress. He rubbed and inhaled, blushing when his hole twitched and fresh slick trickled out. Dean quickly kicked off his jeans before he ruined them and shuddering when his swelling cock met the soft sheets of the bed. He rolled his hips and another groan was muffled when he thought about how good it would feel for Cas to push his knot inside...how good it would be when he could finally let his Alpha pump him full of seed. 

It wasn't long before Dean vaguely registered a soft click, and he opened his eyes to see Cas standing just outside Rory’s door, shirt unbuttoned and hanging open from where he'd surely just pulled it on before leaving the room. His hand was still resting on the doorknob, there was a sharp intake of breath, and Dean could've sworn his eyes glowed for a second. 

“ _ Dean,”  _ the name fell easily from his lips in an awed whisper. 

Dean blinked at him slowly, sluggishly, trying to work through the fog of lust clouding all other thoughts besides  _ Alpha _ and  **_mate_ ** . He shifted and chuffed into the bed, high off the scent of his Alpha, and not stopping anytime soon. His hips rolled again to press his now fully hard cock into the mattress, his slick wetting his inner thighs and the sheets below. 

Cas swallowed and looked at the door, then back at Dean, exhaling softly as he stepped away and took a few steps toward Dean. He moved slowly, non-threateningly, until he was at the edge of the bed, fisting into the sheets, leaning heavily on his hands.

_ “Jesus, _ Dean _ , look at you…” _

His nostrils flared slightly as he leaned forward, licking his lips when the scent hit his senses. 

_ “ _ Fucking _ beautiful,  _ baby _ …” _ he practically purred, voice low and gravelly. 

Dean whimpered, suddenly too hot, and kicked off the blanket covering his body. He shivered slightly when cooler air hit his naked lower half, but he far too focused on Cas’s eyes, the way they almost glowed-  _ did _ glow. If he were less high on his scent he might think to question that, but that voice was distracting him. He’d never heard that tone before. It was...animal, growling, something wild on the verge of breaking free from the chains it’d been gnawing at for years.

Dean groaned and rolled again, his skin breaking out into a sweat. He reached out blindly, grabbing ahold of Cas’s arm and pulling. He needed that heat, that weight of Cas on him.

“ _ Alpha....” _ Dean whispered desperately, not even sure what he was asking for. “ _ Alpha. _ ”

“I've got you, Dean.”

Something about his surety, the calmness in that tone despite the raw dominance… it was enough for Dean. He vaguely thought - no, _knew -_ that Cas wouldn't do anything he didn't want him to. He trusted him. 

The bed shifted and creaked as Cas climbed up and across it, and then he was hovering over Dean, bending down to lick up the nape of his neck. Dean rolled his hips again and Cas followed, barely allowing some of his weight against Dean's back. He nosed down the crook of Dean's neck and pressed kisses to his shoulder, fangs barely grazing the top, causing the mating gland to tingle under his skin. 

Dean arched, pressing up against the length of Cas’s body, his arm reaching to loop around Cas’s waist. He lowered himself back on the bed, bringing Cas with him, purring happily to have his Alpha’s weight on top of him. 

“Stay,” Dean said gruffly, panting into the pillow and twitching when he felt a hardness pressing against his ass cheeks. Dean growled and pushed back on it, his slick gland in overdrive with a knot so close. Cas’s boxers did little to hide what was beneath them, the thin fabric quickly becoming soaked with slick.

Cas leaned up to scent his neck as he rutted against him. He let out a long groan, one arm wrapping around Dean’s torso, the other placed gently on his shoulder and down his bicep. 

“ _ My Omega,” _ he growled in Dean’s ear, nipping at the lobe with sharp fangs. Dean whimpered as he pushed back against him, body thrumming and goosebumps forming on his sweat - drenched skin. 

“Yours,” Dean whispered, tilting his head to expose his neck and it was then he realized what he was doing. On his stomach, a half wild Alpha on top of him, his huge fangs just inches from his neck, and he wasn’t scared at all. Because he knew if he even uttered the word stop, Cas would. No matter how far gone he was, his Alpha would stop.

Dean purred and rolled his hips back, the outline of Cas’s cock sliding between his cheeks. There was a moment, just a moment, where he tensed, but he relaxed again when Cas whispered soft words into his ear, words of love and encouragement. Whatever fear that may have been about to build was squashed and Dean whimpered as he pushed back again, letting Cas rut against him.

“ _ That's it, sweet boy,” _ Cas said gently, somehow sounding amazingly human and Alpha at the same time. Dean pressed up and reached back between them, fingers grazing over the base of Cas’s cock, feeling the swell of his knot. Cas let out a choked exhale and a hand slid down to grip the outside of Dean's hip as he rutted his cock between Dean's ass cheeks, slowly dragging back down. 

“Wanna watch you, Dean,” Cas whispered, nuzzling his neck. “Wanna see that pretty hole ache for me, ache for your Alpha.”

Dean nodded groggily and hoisted himself on all fours, shivering when Cas slid off his back to kneel behind him. His limbs shook slightly as he spread his thighs and lowered his head, arching his back to jut out his ass, hole on display in a stance so ancient it was ingrained into every Omega. He’d never presented before, never thought he’d want to, but there he was, in the bed of an Alpha and on all fours. His slick poured out generously, running down his thighs, his rim twitching needily. Dean could feel that gaze on him and flushed, wondering if he really looked as good as Cas seemed to think he did.

Cas continued to move slowly, his hands gripping and pulling apart is ass cheeks, fingers trailing up through the sheen of slick. The hands moved down again, cupping his sac to reach his cock, giving it a few wet pumps. Dean gasped and moaned, pushing his ass back against Cas’s thighs, feeling his cock press hard against his backside. 

A single finger slid back up along Dean's crack and very slowly circled his rim, dipping in slightly every few passes. When Cas finally pushed it in to the first knuckle, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Dean's back, moving the digit back out some as he pulled away. 

Dean whined and thrust back. He heard Cas chuckle darkly and the sound made Dean’s cock twitch between his legs. He groaned in relief when Cas pushed his finger back in, to the last knuckle, and curled it against his walls. 

“Ohhh…” Dean shuddered and his lower body sunk to the bed, his arms too weak to hold him up anymore. The position left him even more exposed, his ass in the air, and Dean thought through his fog that he was very lucky that Cas had such control. No other Alpha could resist a presenting, slicking Omega in their bed.

Dean had to bite his lip to muffle a moan when Cas pushed a second finger in and curled them, the pads grazing his prostate. He arched his back and put his head down, desperately baring his neck before he even realized what he was doing. Cas let out a low growl, pulling his fingers out to circle his rim, stretching him gently before plunging them back inside. The next time he bent down, Dean felt the fangs graze his back, but they were quickly followed by soft lips and a wet tongue. 

Dean had the sudden, strong need to feel those fangs sink in. His neck tingled, his scent shifting, and he growled into his arm. His body wanted to mate, fully and completely, bare the mark of his Alpha, feel Cas rip his skin open. It was terrifying and Dean was just coherent enough to fight that urge his body was so strongly pushing on him. 

“Do...do you think about it?” he asked, his voice rough with lust and muffled from the bed. “Biting me. You want to, don’t you?”

“ _ Dean.” _

Cas’s tone was insistent, desperate, laced with warning. But he continued his ministrations as gently as he was before, causing Dean to bite back another moan. 

Cas withdrew his fingers and Dean whined until he felt him press his weight to his back again, his fingers ghosting over Dean's mating gland, followed by an innocent scrape of teeth and a kiss. 

“I never  _ stop _ thinking about it. About mating you,  _ claiming _ you.”

A pleasant shiver ran down Dean’s spine and his small fangs began to throb, descending slowly. He turned his head, breathing roughly as his lip curled to show off his fangs. His neck twitched, the mating gland tingling incessantly.

He, quite suddenly, wanted to make a mark of his own. A dark, selfish part of him reared up and it didn’t like that  _ his _ Alpha already had a mating bite. 

“Would...would you want me to bite you?” Dean asked, almost shyly, glancing up at Cas. 

Cas’s fingers grazed down Dean’s sides, nails biting into his hips as he leaned forward again to rut against his ass. His hands snaked around his waist and up to his chest, gently pulling him up and back until Dean was on his knees, his back to Cas’s front, balanced completely by strong Alpha arms. His cock jutted out, uncomfortably hard, head swollen and red.

Cas nuzzled into his neck, the hand around his waist gripping his side, fingers splayed. Cas’s other hand traveled up to Dean’s chest, fingertips gently tickling the base of his neck. 

“You...want to...claim me?” Cas asked softly, lips brushing the throbbing gland. “Mate with me. Make me yours.” He pressed his lips to the gland, causing it to tingle even more intensely. “Is that what you want, Dean?”

Dean nodded quickly and shifted on his knees, pressing back on Cas’s cock and groaning when he felt the impressive bulge twitch between his cheeks. “Yes...yes I want that,” he whispered. “When we...are able to...when I’m able to take your knot. I want to mate with you.”

The hand on Dean’s neck traveled up and Cas pulled their lips together, dipping his tongue inside and slotting it against Dean’s. When he pulled away he pushed Dean back down to the bed with a hand moving slowly down his spine, fingers slipping easily back into his hole and crooking downwards. Dean pressed his face into a pillow to muffle any sound, his thighs shaking as Cas’s fingertip stroked his prostate.

Dean began to grind back on Cas’s finger, steady rolls of his hips, and hugged the pillow smashed against his face. He couldn’t stop himself from pushing himself back against Cas again and again, his hole clenching and wishing something  _ bigger _ was inside. 

No longer able to stand it, Dean reached between his legs and squeezed his cock, gasping and arching. He didn’t touch himself often, if at all, having never been interested much in sex before Cas entered his life. The sensations of his own hand and Cas’s fingers teasing him so expertly were almost too much for him.

“Cas,” he whimpered, stroking himself and pushing back with a bit more force. 

Cas reached around and batted Dean’s hand away, his own taking its place, stroking and squeezing in time with the thrust of his finger. He added a second, then a third shortly after, stroking Dean’s inner walls and the little bundle of nerves deep inside, until Dean was a trembling, sweaty mess, slick continuously trickling out past Cas’s fingers.

He leaned over Dean’s back and kissed his spine, his tongue trailing lower, followed by another kiss, gentle scrape of teeth, and finally a subtle bite; hard, but not breaking skin.

Dean let out a long, guttural groan and jerked, his heart jumping into his throat. Pleasure and fear and the confusion that always follows the two mixed, and then Dean is coming a second later. He bit down on the pillow, partly to muffle his cry but mostly to ease the ache in his fangs, the need to bite down on his Alpha’s flesh. His cock kicked, spilling thickly all over Cas’s bed and his hole clamped down on Cas’s fingers as if to keep the knot that wasn’t there inside.

Cas let his fingers slip out slowly, strong hands gripping Dean’s thighs and flipping him over and moving him to the other side of the bed. He leaned down to take Dean’s cock in his mouth as it twitched with the aftershocks of his orgasm, tongue laving against the vein on the underside and circling the head. 

When he had licked him clean, Cas kissed his way back up to Dean’s lips, pressing them together as he began to rut against Dean again. He growled his name and pressed his face into Dean’s neck, alternating tongue and teeth against his pulse point.

Deam arched his neck, every scrape of tongue and fang on his skin inducing another shiver, a skip of his heart, his lungs seizing up only to release a rush of air when those sharp points didn’t penetrate the skin. Dean couldn’t tell if it was out of relief or disappointment, and was too worked up to think too hard on it. 

He reached between their tightly flushed bodies and slipped his hand beneath Cas’s slick soaked boxers. He gripped Cas’s twitching cock, wrapping his fingers around the knot and milking it, squeezing and releasing, shuddering as it swelled in his hand. He stroked slowly at first, picking up speed as he went, his own slick acting as lubrication. He stroked down and caressed the swollen head before moving back up and squeezing the knot again. He focused solely on that area, forming a circle with his fingers and sliding them back and forth over his knot, watching Cas’s face as he hovered over him. His mouth hung open slightly, his tongue pressed against his top teeth, eyes hooded and glowing.

Seconds later, Cas’s hips stuttered as he came, knot pulsing under Dean’s hand and he spilled into his boxers, his arms trembling trying to hold his weight. Dean was forced to let go when Cas growled and pushed himself up to his knees, but he pushed the boxers down and took his own cock in his hand, leaning back over Dean just as his second orgasm hit and painted his stomach with the warm, thick liquid.

Dean groaned and arched, his stomach twitching with every drop that hit his skin, and he watched every second of it. It was beautiful in a terrifying way, watching that cock easily bigger than his own, with a enormous knot at the base, kick and spill copious amounts of precious Alpha seed. His body almost sagged with disappointment that it wasn’t spilling  _ inside _ , pumping him full, to mark him and breed him. Dean liked it on his skin, though. Cas’s scent would mix with his. Anyone standing next to him would smell their Alpha on him and know who he belonged to.

Dean only realized after watching Cas’s third orgasm take him that he was looking at a knot and not freaking out. He’d analyse later, he was sure, but right now all he wanted was more of his Alpha on him, his scent saturating Dean’s.

He became rather smug though when he realized that his typically in control, fight-the-instincts Alpha was _ marking _ him. It was an act of dominance, territorial and feral. As far as Cas was concerned, Dean was  _ his.  _ The thought  _ should've _ terrified him. It didn't. 

After the third orgasm, Cas knelt above him panting, fangs still poking out from his lips. His eyes began to dull and his hands reached out to grip Dean's thighs as he steadied himself. 

Dean covered Cas’s hands with his own, content with watching him come down from his high. He shifted under Cas, his fingers sliding up to grip Cas’s forearms, squeezing gently. His Alpha looked wild, beautiful, those blue eyes slightly unfocused and those fangs glinting in the dark. The scent coming off Cas was evident of a satisfied Alpha, one who was pleased with his dominance over his Omega.

“Cas…” Dean murmured, reaching up to cup Cas’s jaw and pull gently to get those eyes on him. They were still unfocused, the blue dark and seemingly alive, and Dean had this brief thought of staring into something that wasn’t quite human. Something far older, stronger, with instincts that Dean knew nothing about.

“Cas,” Dean said again, and he could practically see Cas’s attention shift, sense returning to his eyes as he came down from his Alpha high. He chuffed and gave his head a small shake, exhaling in a huff as he leaned forward, fists on either side of Dean's head, nuzzling into Dean's hand. 

“You're fucking beautiful,” Cas said finally, eyes bouncing somewhat wildly around Dean’s face as he continued to work to rein himself in. He reached down between their bodies and ran a finger through the mess, bringing the hand back up and hesitantly rubbing it along the hollow of Dean's neck and up his Adam's apple, then over his bottom lip. 

Dean blinked slowly and opened his mouth, letting Cas’s finger inside and tasting Alpha on his tongue. It tasted just as good as it did last time, and he swirled his tongue around the digit, licking it clean, his green eyes never wavering from blue. He smirked slightly, wondering if this was another way for his Alpha to mark him, getting just a little of that seed inside. 

When the finger slipped out, Dean inhaled deeply and looked down at himself. Part of him was shocked by how far he let Cas go, and another was surprised they didn’t go any further. Things with Cas were always confusing, though, and he could never tell if it was Cas himself that made all of this easier than it should be or if it was Dean’s Omega instincts that were easing the way for him.

“You’re all over me…” he mumbled, giving Cas a smug little smile. “Feeling a little territorial, Alpha?”

“Over you? Always.” Cas grunted as he fell to Dean’s side, his shaking arms finally giving out under his weight. “I know you’re not... _ technically _ mine yet, but I can’t help it. Feels like you are.”

“Feels like I am, too,” Dean said softly, turning onto his side to face Cas, his hands resting between them. “I mean, I...basically am. Can’t really imagine...letting another Alpha...do that.” He waved at the mess on his torso and blushed. “Or wanting it. With you, though...I want it. Not just the...the sex stuff. Just...all of it. Everything I didn’t think I would ever want.”

Cas smiled softly, and Dean couldn't resist the urge to reach up and smooth the crinkles at the corners of his eyes with gentle fingertips. It only made Cas smile wider, and he took Dean’s hand in his and held them over his heart. 

“I didn't think I'd ever want it again,” Cas began slowly, running a thumb over Dean's hand. “But with you, I do. I really, really do.”

Dean smiled and moved forward to tuck himself under Cas’s chin, because it was starting to become one of his favorite places. One of Cas’s arms looped around his waist tightly and Dean purred softly.

“So,” he murmured into Cas’s neck. “Did you come out here because you could smell me…? You looked...disheveled.” He grinned, mostly because he was proud of using a fancy word. 

“It’s  _ all  _ I could smell,” Cas stressed, his eyes rolling up. “Jesus. I smelled you as soon as you started, tried to ignore it, but...no such luck.” 

He lifted enough to peel his shirt off of him, and used it to clean the mess off Dean’s stomach, balling it up and tossing it off the side of the bed. He resumed his former position, resting his chin on the top of Dean’s head. 

“Gettin’ better, though,” he said randomly, and Dean frowned and pulled back to look up at him.

“What is?”

“The...control, I guess.” Cas tongued at the inside of his cheek. “Had this happened just a couple of weeks ago, I may not have been able to stop myself from mounting you. It was entirely too risky as it was, but...I managed. Kinda proud of that.” 

“It was...scary, not gonna lie,” Dean said slowly, then frowned, “but I almost didn’t notice it...you were  _ wild _ , but not. So...scary, but safe.” He shrugged and laid his head back down. “You should be proud,” he continued. “Never heard of an Alpha with such control. And I...I know it’s stupid, putting myself in these positions with you. Risky and stupid and selfish. But every time, I get a little...closer. More comfortable. I like that you want me. And I want  _ you _ …” 

“To be fair, I kind of ...encouraged this one,” Cas said slyly, looking a little guilty. “With the dream thing. I was hoping to come back out here tonight...ever since…” he licked his lips and swallowed, closing his eyes. “Tasting you. I...feel like I can’t get enough. Of you, of your scent, your taste. I could stay in this cabin with just you for weeks and never get tired of it.” He sighed and bumped their foreheads together. “There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to do to you. But it’s not the right time.” He grinned mischievously, teeth glinting from the moonlight streaming in through the window. “You haven’t seen how wild I can be yet.”

Dean blinked up at him and smiled, his teeth grazing his bottom lip in a shy gesture. It was silly to still be so shy around Cas, considering what all they’ve done, and Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever grow out of it. 

“I believe that,” he said sincerely, tilting his head at Cas. “I hope...one day, I can see it. How wild you can get. Maybe...um, I can get a little wild too. I like to think I can, anyway…” 

“I absolutely think you can,” Cas winked at Dean and placed a hand under his chin, reaching up with his thumb to pull his lip from between his teeth. “I can just imagine how much you’ll love r-”

“Papa!”

Even in the dark Dean could tell Cas lost some of the color from his face, and he shot up in bed and yelled back toward Rory’s bedroom. “Coming, kiddo!”

He looked back down at Dean, holding a hand out over his torso. “I’m sorry, responsibility calls.” He leaned down and gave Dean a lingering kiss, then ran over to his dresser and quickly changed boxers, Dean regretfully only getting a glimpse of his ass in the moonlight before he pulled them on. 

“Goodnight, Omega,” he whispered, before he turned and disappeared into Rory’s room. 

“Where did you go?” Dean heard Rory ask, followed by the creaking of the bed as Cas climbed back into it.

“Just had to...take care of something,” Cas said quickly, and Dean bit back a chuckle. Not that sex was necessarily a taboo subject- and it was especially hard for it to be taboo when heats and ruts are introduced so young- but Dean didn’t blame Cas for not wanting to explain any of that to her.  _ Especially  _ while she was adjusting to Cas potentially taking a new mate.

“What’d you have to take care of?”

There was an exasperated sigh. “Go to sleep, Aurora.”

Dean smiled to himself and even though he missed Cas’s weight next to him, he felt very much...at home. Something so foreign he almost didn’t recognize it. Something so warm that it made sleep very easy, and he slipped into it quickly.

\----

Dean woke to bright, blue eyes staring down at him. He blinked groggily and mumbled something that sounded like mostly gibberish. He shifted and discovered a weight sitting on his chest, and realized the owner of said blue eyes was sitting on him.

“Rory, get off him.”

Cas’s voice came from somewhere off to the side. Rory sighed and moved off of Dean, plopping down on his side. Dean yawned and curled up under the blanket, intent on going back to sleep.

“Noooo, wake up,” Rory whined, pushing on his heavy shoulder. “Papa says we can’t have breakfast until you’re awake and breakfast is  _ pancakes _ and if you don’t get up I’m gonna  _ starve-” _

Dean batted her hand away and begrudgingly sat up, earning a grin from the pup.

“Not gettin’ up for you,” he grumbled at her as he rubbed his eyes. “Want pancakes.”

She giggled and climbed off the bed, looking immensely pleased with herself. Dean watched her sleepily as she darted into her room to get dressed, the door closing behind her. He shook his head and looked out the window, seeing that sun had already risen. No wonder Rory had been insistent.

He looked down to find himself partially clothed in a pair of boxers, and he vaguely remembered putting them back on sometime in the middle of the night, which turned out to be a good call for which he was immensely proud of himself. 

“Good morning, Dean.” 

Cas smiled over at him from the kitchen, stirring a pot of something. He set it to the side and walked over, making the bed as Dean climbed out of it and threw on a shirt and his jeans. 

“Morning, Cas,” Dean said as his head popped through the shirt. He tugged it down and smoothed it out, watching Cas straighten out the blankets and fresh sheets. 

“Apparently we’re having pancakes?” he chuckled, coming to stand behind Cas and rest his forehead on Cas’s shoulder. He ran a finger down Cas’s spine and butted against his shoulder. “If we’re not, I have a formal complaint about being woken up by pushy pups.”

“You'll have to add it to the suggestion box,” Cas teased, turning and wrapping his arms around Dean. “Though I'm afraid she's the judge, jury,  _ and  _ executioner, so not much changes around here.”

He cupped the back of Dean's head and kissed his forehead. “But yes, pancakes it is. Usually pretty difficult to find stuff to make them, but today is sort of a marginal day, so I guess you got lucky.” He smiled and walked back over to the kitchen, Dean following closely behind. 

“Marginal day, huh?”

Cas shrugged and looked down at the batter, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Well, yeah. I don't know about you, but yesterday was pretty special for me, so…”

Dean felt himself smiling as well and stepped closer to Cas, hesitating briefly before wrapping his arms around Cas’s waist. “It...it was special to me, too,” he said quietly, resting his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. “Every day with you is...special, but yesterday….um, last night. That was...you’re amazing, Cas. Really. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found you…" he sighed and kissed whatever patch of skin he could reach. “Came here thinking...I dunno. That you were hoarding all these Omegas for yourself. Maybe you treated them right, maybe you didn’t. But I thought anything could be better than how I was living-surviving-before. I never expected you to be...you. Never  _ imagined _ you even taking notice of me…”

“How could I  _ not  _ notice you?” Cas took his chin in his hand and looked him in the eyes. “You're gorgeous. In every sense of the word.”

They traded smiles and Cas turned back to the batter. 

“And for the record,” he pointed the spoon at Dean with a grin, “I surely don't have the kind of stamina for all the Omegas in the compound.”

Dean raised a brow and tongued his cheek, then dipped his voice and pressed his lips to Cas’s ear. “From what I’ve seen, you have plenty of stamina…” he smirked and nipped at the earlobe before pulling away. “And it’s not like I didn’t know any better. You gotta admit to an outsider, you’re  _ situation  _ here looks a little….” he shrugged and trailed off. “All the pups and Omegas…” 

Cas stepped back and pretended to look appalled, putting his hands on his hips. 

“You really thought I was sleeping with all the Omegas here? That all these pups were  _ mine?”  _ He huffed a laugh. “So I'm a deviant  _ and  _ apparently very fertile.”

He ruffled Dean’s hair and turned back to the batter, pouring some in a pan and taking it over to the crackling fire. 

Dean grinned and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, turning his head when Rory’s door clicked open and the girl came flying out. She attached herself to Dean’s leg, her cheek on his thigh, and smiled up at him.

“You realize the only reason you’re still alive is because we’re getting pancakes, right?” Dean grumbled down at her. 

She nodded enthusiastically, not deterred by his grumpiness in the slightest. Dean rolled his eyes and hobbled over to the futon, dragging her with him, and plopped down. She immediately scrambled into his lap and laid her head in his chest. 

Rory produced a book from who the fuck knows and waved it around with a grin. “While Papa cooks, I’m going to read to you,”, she said with an excited grin. 

Dean blinked and looked at the cover. He couldn’t read the title, but there was a young boy flying through the air on broomstick. 

“ _ Harry Potter _ ,” she supplied, opening it up to the first page. “We have a lot to get through. There’s seven books and they get huge.” 

“You have all seven?” Dean was shocked. Finding books was hard enough, let alone a whole series. 

“Yep!” She said proudly, nodding her head at Cas’s back. “Papa got lucky at an old school. Found most of them. And then found this one,” she patted the book, “at a hospital.” 

“You gonna read them to me?”

She nodded furiously, and Cas smiled over at them from the fireplace. 

“But you have to follow along, and soon I can teach you about the alphabet and how to spell things.” She laid a hand on his cheek. “Then soon, you'll be able to read and write, and  _ you  _ can read to _ me.” _

Dean smiled as she resituated herself in his lap, plopping down and leaning her back against his front with the book in front of her face, and she began to read enthusiastically. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much..."

———-

After a modest stack of pancakes and a few more chapters of  _ Harry Potter _ , Cas was forced to go out and do Alpha things. Rory, much to her dismay, was dropped off with Charlie. She wanted to spend the day with Dean, but Cas made it clear the Omega would be busy for a while. Dean didn’t actually have anything planned, but he was thankful Cas got him a few hours of freedom from the pup. She wore him out quickly. 

Dean slowly made his way to his cabin, head bowed and hands in his pockets, his mind on the events of the night before. As such, he wasn’t paying attention when he rounded a corner and ran smack into something  _ tall _ . And solid. And  _ Alpha _ . 

Dean snarled on instinct and jumped back, claws out and his sad excuse for fangs shining under the sun as his lip curled back.  

The Alpha held his hands up innocently, taking a step back. He pushed long hair out of his face, his scent putting off what seemed to be an attempt at calmness. 

“Whoa, whoa, hey, it's okay,” he said quickly, taking another step back. “I'm sorry about that, I'm not...I won't hurt you, man.”

Dean chuffed, expelling the smell of leather and smoke, the cedar tickling his nose and his memory. His stance still stiff, fangs still bared, Dean gazed up at the Alpha with guarded curiosity. His heart hammered painfully, every hair on his body standing on end, his scent sending off waves of fear and defensive aggression. 

This Alpha,  _ Sam _ , took another step back and attempted to further calm his own scent. If Dean was able to get himself under control and simply look at the other, he’d see that the Alpha was probably less threatening looking than Cas. Tall, yes, and strong looking, but his face was open and his hair that flopped everywhere made him look like a goofball. 

Dean could tell he was a bit younger, with little to no stress lines on his face, and seemed relatively harmless for what he was. Dean relaxed only a fraction, feeling eyes looking their way, and could faintly smell Benny standing not too far off. Dean didn’t dare take his eyes off the Alpha to look, but the Beta’s presence was comforting. 

Dean lowered his claws slowly, but kept them out, eyeing the Alpha warily. 

“I’m Sam,” the Alpha said softly, and was smart enough not to offer a handshake (which Dean still thought was a stupid greeting). 

“....Dean,” he muttered back, his voice little more than a growl. 

“Oh yeah, uh. Eileen, she told me about you. Well, kind of. You're with Castiel, right?” 

Dean shifted on his feet, involuntarily leaning away. Sam didn't move, just looked at him expectantly, and Dean swallowed and shrugged. 

“I...I guess. Yeah.”

Sam nodded and held out a hand by his side in a half shrugging gesture. “Well, cool. It's nice to meet you.” 

Dean said nothing. 

Sam sighed and looked toward Eileen’s cabin. “Well I should be going. Gotta be outta here today and wanna spend some more time with Eileen before I go. I'm, uh. Sure I'll see you around, Dean.”

Dean watched him carefully step away, the Alpha being sure to keep his distance as he made a wide circle and disappeared into Eileen’s cabin. Dean waited a few beats then exhaled, his heart rate decreasing slowly. 

With the lingering, strangely familiar scent of Sam in the air, Dean rolled his shoulders and quickly slipped inside his cabin. He sat on the bed and pulled his shirt off, holding it to his nose. Cas’s scent was all over it and Dean inhaled greedily, letting it calm him. 

So the Alpha seemed decently tame, like Cas. Putting the familiarity aside, Dean didn't detect anything sinister about him, or any hint of anger. His natural scent had been a bit overwhelmed by his attempt to calm, but Dean got the feeling it was a genuine effort and not an attempt to hide anything. 

But still… it made him wonder if they'd crossed paths before. 

They had to. Dean's instincts were sharp; he remembered scents well. He'd definitely smelled it before. 

Even though, logically, that made no sense. He’d spent his whole life avoiding Alphas. The odds of running into one, and then again at this camp, were very low. 

Dean huffed and scrubbed at his hair. This was going to bug him until he figured it out, but he didn’t feel like thinking about other Alphas besides his own. 

Dean stood and tugged his shirt back on, feeling a little calmer than before. He decided he would meet up with Benny and see if any work needed doing to keep his mind off of weird Alphas he maybe sort of knew. 

He stepped back out on his porch, pulling his jacket tightly around his body. It was overcast and blustery but it didn't look like or planned to snow anytime soon.  It had been an unusually harsh winter and Dean hoped the warm weather would come soon, although he almost preferred the cold to the humidity that came with summer in Kansas. 

He caught sight of Benny’s large frame on Bobby’s porch up the way, and he crunched quickly through the snow up to the steps of the cabin. 

“Well hey there, chief,” Benny greeted warmly, rocking in his chair and pushing his cap out of his eyes. 

“Hey, Benny,” Dean responded, giving a nod to the surly man sitting in the rocking chair beside him. “Bobby.” He'd only met Bobby briefly a few weeks ago, but the old timer seemed nice enough. He'd learned that Bobby sometimes helped to head up supply runs, and Dean seemed to earn a few brownie points with him when he offered to help sometime. 

Benny leaned forward in his seat, hands falling between his legs. His nostrils flared slightly and he narrowed his eyes, scraping his teeth absently over his bottom lip. “Everythin’ alright?”

Dean shrugged and rubbed at his neck, unsure if Benny was smelling Cas’s  _ marking  _ or Dean’s leftover anxiety from running into Sam.

“ ‘m okay,” he mumbled, stuffing his hand back in his pocket.

“That’s convincing,” Bobby snorted.

Dean cast the older man a weak glare. Bobby just shrugged, unconcerned. 

“I’m fine,” he said a bit more firmly, turning his attention back to Benny. “You, uh, got anything that needs doing? I have some free time…”

Benny looked at him a long moment. “Bobby, I'll catch ya ‘round here tomar, ya hear?” He finally turned his gaze from Dean to Bobby, giving him a hard nod. “Have them piles lined and ready.”

“You got it.”

Benny stood and tipped his hat as he stepped off the porch, gesturing ahead. Dean followed him a couple cabins down in silence until Benny pulled him to the side, reaching out and pulling down one side of Dean's collar, then the other. 

“Benny, what the fuck-”

“Are you… you're not mated?”

Dean blinked at him. “What? No.”

Benny scoffed incredulously and took a step back. “Really? Well I… my apologies. Coulda sworn you smelled mated. You do smell different, though. I just thought… maybe....”

“Oh…” Dean coughed and blushed, looking down at his feet and kicking some loose snow. “Well...I mean, not  _ technically _ ...we...um…”

Dean glanced around, but no one was nearby. A few pups played a little ways away, laughing loudly as they threw snowballs at each other. 

“Cas...sort of…marked me. Last night.” Dean pressed his lips together, hoping the Beta understood, because was  _ not _ going into detail. Betas had different instincts, though. Their need to mate and mark much more subdued than an Alpha’s.

“Cas…” Benny looked confused for a moment as he puzzled it out in his head, eyes widening slightly before returning to normal. “ _ Oh.  _ He, uh. Right.” Benny rubbed nervously at the back of his neck and cleared his throat. “Well, I… not sure what you guys are plannin’ to do, but just so you know, you already smell… mated. And not just cause of that, I don't think. Don't usually pick up on somethin’ like that so strongly.”

Dean frowned thoughtfully and wished he could sniff himself. Unfortunately one couldn’t scent oneself, so he’d have to take Benny’s word for it. And Cas had said he’d smelt different.

“I...I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Don’t really have experience in this. We’ve...I mean, we’ve talked about it. And…” More than talked about. They’ve basically done everything but knotting and biting, and they’d gotten very close last night. Maybe that was close enough for his Alpha starved body and it’s just decided that Dean’s mated now and that’s that.

Benny stared at him again, finally pressing his lips together and nodding. “And you're… happy about that?”

“I...yes,” Dean said softly, licking his lips. “Yes, he is...everything I want...need. And never thought I could get.”

“Well good, then,” Benny smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “Sorry, he may be Alpha but it's still our job to keep him in check. Just wanted to make sure he wasn't crossing a line.” He chewed his lip thoughtfully, glancing up at Castiel's cabin. “So I assume he toldja ‘bout Bella, then.”

Dean nodded and pressed his tongue to his teeth, gazing up at the Alpha’s cabin. “He’s told me some. Enough. Doesn’t like to talk about her much. Or can’t.” 

He shifted and rolled his shoulders. “He hasn’t crossed any lines. Cas is...careful, even when I’m not.” 

“Good. Not that I don't have faith in him, but… he seemed to be having a bit of trouble when you arrived. Most I've seen him struggle since…” Benny coughed and frowned. “He'll come around to talking about her, I'd imagine. He'll have to.”

Dean frowned, his eyes gravitating back to Alpha’s cabin. There was still so much he didn’t know about Cas. For all the Alpha has shared, how open he was, Dean knew Cas was keeping him mostly in the dark still. 

“I guess,” Dean murmured, looking back at Benny. “Eventually.” 

“He will,” Benny said confidently. He scratched absently at his cheek, giving a look around the nearby cabins. “Well, I don't really have anything for ya today. But I can let ya know if anything pops up.”

Dean nodded gratefully and Benny gave him a pat on the shoulder as they parted ways. He looked around leisurely, watching people come and go. Dean sort of liked watching people. It was much better than talking them at any rate. He watched a quiet pup trail after his mom, a thumb in his mouth and his other hand in the Omega’s. They caught eyes for a moment and the pup smiled, popping his thumb out to wave at Dean before they disappeared into medic cabin.

He shook his head, unsure on how he felt about pups getting familiar with him. They called Cas ‘dad’ apparently. If he were to mate with the Alpha, would they all start calling him ‘mom’?

“No, that’s stupid,” Dean muttered to himself, taking off towards the woods. “They have moms.” With nothing to preoccupy himself, he took a walk through his second favorite part of the camp (first being Cas’s cabin). The woods were peaceful and his solitary personality welcomed the silence, the stillness. He imagined it would come alive once spring hit, but for now it was only him, owls, and the seemingly lone wolf. Dean realized he hadn’t seen his wolf since it had growled at him, more or less chasing him off. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he ran into the wolf again, especially now with him smelling mated.

He thought about Rory reading to him, how she'd seemed so confident and genuinely grateful to be sharing the experience with him. She actually read quite well, although it surely helped that she'd already read the series once. Still, Cas only had to help her with a few words she stumbled over, and Dean found himself smiling several times at her enthusiasm. 

She'd reiterated about teaching him to read, but admittedly Dean was far more nervous about that. Not that it was embarrassing to learn from Rory per se, but he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Cas, or worse, be unable to do it at all. 

He thought about what Benny had told him, about how Cas would come around to talking to him more. It was sort of funny, he realized, that Cas was doing his own version of the same thing Dean was. On the surface, Cas seemed open and forthcoming, but he only seemed that way when he wasn't necessarily talking about _ himself _ . He struggled quite a bit more when he had to talk about _ his _ problems. Of course, he did see Garth regularly, but there was no way to know how much he'd disclosed there, either. Perhaps Cas really had resigned himself to his life with Rory and never intended to mate again. Maybe that was why he didn't think it was as important to share. 

Dean started to wonder if Cas talked to Garth about him, then quickly put that train of thought off the rails. Nothing good could come of that.

He also entertained the thought of giving another go at talking to Garth himself. He hadn’t exactly given it a real chance and since it didn’t look he’d have his wolf to talk to anymore (which hurt more than it should), it might not be bad idea to try again. He didn’t exactly feel comfortable with Garth, but he didn’t really feel comfortable with anyone besides a grand total of three people here. 

Dean sighed and plopped down at his spot. There was a little less snow this time, the wind having whipped a lot of it away. He leaned back against his tree and stared blankly up a the bare limbs. It was...nice, to get away from everything for a moment. Pack life was so busy...nosey. It was hard to have eyes on him all the time. And Rory, the sweet pup, was probably the best kind to be around, but it was exhausting. Her father equally so, but in entirely different ways. He loved being around Cas, but it did bring up a torrent of confusing emotions and desires he didn’t know how to deal with. Not to mention it always felt like Cas was dissecting him, like he could see right into Dean’s soul. 

He was so distracted by his thoughts he almost didn't hear the brush rustling off to his side. His head snapped up and he looked over, sitting completely still as he waited. Several moments passed in near silence, then the slightest patch of black glinted in the sunlight until he finally emerged, just the wolf's head and front paws sticking out amongst the brush. It inclined its head in an understated tilt and whined lightly. 

Dean raised a brow and sat up a little taller. “Look here. This is  _ my _ spot and I ain’t movin’. If you’re gonna get all pissy again, you can turn that tail around and go somewhere else. You’ve got the whole damn forest. You can give me this one spot.” He paused and shrugged. “Unless you’re gonna be nice. Then you can stay.”

The wolf raised its head and its ears flicked, then he chuffed and walked forward, stopping momentarily halfway to sniff the air. He curled up a foot or so away from Dean and huffed, laying its head on its front paws. 

Dean gazed down at the big, black thing at his side and hummed softly. “So we’re going with civil. You even start to growl I’m kicking snow into your face.”

It actually looked like the wolf rolled his eyes, but Dean didn’t think wolves could really do that. Then again, most wolves don’t act like oversized lap dogs.

“Kill any cute, furry things lately?” Dean asked as he settled back against the tree. “Can’t really imagine how something as big as you is surviving out here. Don’t you have a pack? Is that a personal question?”

The wolf just stared at him and Dean, not for the first time, felt silly for asking questions when he knew the wolf wasn't going to open his mouth and suddenly speak to him. But it still felt nice in a way, conversing with someone that never had anything to say. No harsh words, no judgement. Just listening. 

Dean rubbed his hands together and blew air into them, his breath coming out in a puff around them. The wolf didn't move his head but raised his brows to look over at him, like he was waiting for him to continue. 

“I only ask,” Dean said after a moment, “because it’s easier with a pack. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t...I guess I liked my solitude. It was lonely and I could’ve used some help in some rough times, but…” he shrugged, “I liked not having people in my business. With a pack, there’s no getting away from that. They’re all gonna know your business. Even with certain things you prefer private.” 

He paused and kicked away some snow. “But I was never this healthy on my own. Always starving, sick, a day from death…” Dean licked his lips. “I think I would have left by now, though, if it weren’t for Cas. I told myself I’d stay and accept the pack life. But I know me too well. All these  _ eyes _ ...no, I would have left for sure. But I can’t imagine leaving Cas now. Which is really fucking scary. Rory will always be his number one. And that’s fine…” 

Dean looked down at his lap and frowned. “She should be. Pups always come first. But then the pack comes second, because it has to. So that leaves me last...which is where I’ve always been. But if he’d ever have to choose...I don’t...don’t know what would happen.” 

The wolf lifted its head and stared at him. He shifted forward, crawling on his belly a few inches, and laid his head back on his paws. When he lifted it again, he nosed gently at Dean’s knee, whining softly. 

“I don't know what I would expect him to do… _ want _ him to do… if it came down to it. I actually like that he's the pack Alpha. All the people he's saved…” Dean picked at some lint on his knee. “Including me. I know it's unfair of me to even think about, but… can't help it.” He frowned and looked over at the wolf, who was looking up through the tops of the trees. “And Cas is a great dad. Rory’s a good kid. And I kind of… like watching him be a dad. It's nice to know there are good ones.”

The wolf looked back at him, an ear twitching as an owl hooted in the distance. 

Dean sighed and fell silent, no more closer to a emotional revelation than he was when he started talking, but it was nice to get it out. All these thoughts that have been circling his head for days.

He looked down at the wolf and held out his hand, waiting for a growl that never came, and gently laid his hand on the wolf’s head. Dean carded his fingers through the thick fur and smiled. 

“Hey,” he said, causing the wolf to glance up at him. “I missed you.” 

The wolf sniffed at his hand and nudged his nose down Dean’s arm. He shifted closer and plopped onto his side in the snow with a huff, his back resting against Dean’s leg. 

Dean snorted. “So what was up with you last time? Mad at me or something?”

The wolf, of course, didn’t answer.

Dean let his head fall back against the tree and blinked as the thump shook some snow free and misted into his face. He rested a hand on the wolf’s side and watched as it moved up and down slowly with its steady breathing. 

His leg was warm from the wolf’s heat, all that body and fur keeping the cold off. Dean bet if the wolf laid on him, he’d be perfectly warm even with all the wind. 

“So fluffy,” he murmured, rubbing his hand over the wolf’s belly. The wolf’s ear twitched and he slowly rolled onto his back, staring at Dean expectantly.

“Say please,” Dean grinned down at him.

The wolf blinked and wagged his tail. Dean snorted and firmly rubbed at the wolf’s belly, smiling as that weird, purring sound erupted from the wolf’s chest.

“You need a name,” Dean said suddenly. “Maybe I’ll just call you Fluffy.”

The wolf flipped quickly back onto his stomach with a huff, causing Dean to jump slightly and laugh. It huffed again and sneezed, then looked off into the woods for a long time, ears alert. 

“What?” Dean frowned, following the wolf’s line of vision, but he saw nothing. “What is it?”

The wolf didn’t move, just inclined its head, listening intently. At one point he raised his head higher, but he stopped again, and Dean heard nothing.

When the scream rang out and echoed through the stillness of the forest, the wolf was gone before Dean could even get to his feet. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple things- you'll note in the tags that there are mentions of past rape/abuse. Please know ahead of time that this chapter could potentially be triggering for some.  
> I told someone earlier today in the comments on the last chapter that I thought there would be between 18 and 20 chapters when all is said and done. Now that I'm looking at what we have left to post, I'm not sure it will even be that many more. I'm thinking maybeeee 3 more chapters after this one.  
> This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but I hope the content makes it worth it!  
> And lastly, you thought you hated us after the last cliffhanger? *evil laughter in the distance*

Dean took off in the same direction, but he didn’t make it far before he realized he had no idea which way the wolf went, and he allowed himself a brief moment of panic before the screaming started again, a little closer than before. He took off again, quickly realizing that the sound was taking him closer to the lake where he and Benny went to fish.

By the time he broke through the trees into the clearing, the wolf was already in the freezing water, paddling across one of the deeper areas with a small pup clinging to its back. Dean recognized him as one of the pups he’d seen over at Donna and Jody’s, though he was unsure if he was actually theirs or not. 

Dean quickly glanced around, but didn’t see Donna or Jody anywhere.

When the wolf reached the shore, Dean snatched off his jacket, wincing as the cold wind hit his skin, and snatched up the pup. He wrapped his jacket around him and took off towards the camp, hearing the crunching of snow behind him as the wolf followed.

Dean glanced down at the pup in his arms and noticed with alarm the blue lips and utter  _ quiet _ , and quickened his pace. It was hard to run in the snow, but he somehow managed, and broke from the trees with a slight stumble. He saw Jody and Donna, along with a small group of Betas, to the left and at the edge of the trees. They were all frantically searching and calling out what he assumed was the pup’s name.

Shaking from the cold and fear, Dean ran towards them, no longer aware if the wolf was behind him or not.

Donna saw him first, her eyes and nose red from crying, her face pale. Her eyes widened and she tapped Jody on the arm and pointed before heading toward him, Jody following closely behind, both of them stumbling through the snow.

“Ezra!” she cried, finally reaching them and taking the boy from Dean’s arms. She hugged him tightly and pressed her face into his neck, and Jody came up beside them and scrubbed her hands furiously over his arms. 

“Baby, we gotta get him inside,” Jody urged, pulling them both toward the cabins. She mouthed a thank you to Dean as she helped guide a sobbing Donna to their cabin. 

Dean whipped back around to the trees, but the wolf was nowhere to be seen, and no one else in the search party acted like they’d seen him at all. He looked frantically back and forth, not even noticing the respected glances he was getting from the others until he felt someone come up behind him, and he shivered involuntarily as something heavy and warm was wrapped around his arms. 

“You’re a regular hero, cher,” Benny drawled out, clapping him on the back. Dean blinked at the woods, then finally looked up at him in a sort of daze. 

“I...no, it wasn’t me…” he shook his head, glancing back desperately at the trees. Now that the pup was back and safe, he was worried about his wolf. That water had to have been freezing and the wolf was soaked in it. 

“What’s wrong?” Benny asked, looking at the trees. “C’mon, we need to get you inside.”

Benny tugged him along and Dean went, still looking back until the Beta pushed him into a cabin-Alpha’s-and sat him down in front of the fire. Benny made himself busy putting together a hot pot of tea and Dean stared at the crackling fire, hugging Benny’s coat around him. 

“Where’s Cas?” Dean rasped, looking out the window, down at Donna and Jody’s cabin. The porch and general area around the cabin were full of people, probably waiting to see how Ezra was. Missouri was probably there by now, making sure he would survive the cold. Hopefully hypothermia hadn’t set in.

Benny didn’t say anything for awhile, and Dean looked back over to see him adding a few spoonfuls of honey to the steaming tea. 

“Sure he’s down there by now,” he frowned, stirring carefully. “But I should go check, just in case. He’d wanna know about this.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, mainly because he didn’t know what else to say. The whole thing shook him up more than he expected it to, and now he was worried because he hadn’t seen or heard from Cas, and his wolf had disappeared wet and dangerously cold. 

“Here,” Benny handed him a cup of tea and patted his shoulder. “Stay put, cher. I gotta go check on them.”

Dean nodded absently, his mind elsewhere, and sipped at his tea as Benny disappeared out the door. He was left in the quiet, his thoughts swimming from the pup to Cas to his wolf, wondering if he should go and search the woods, or hunt down Cas, or-

He jumped, almost spilling his tea, when the back door to the cabin burst open. Dean whipped his head around and stared, shocked, as a  _ very _ wet Cas stumbled in. He was naked, shivering from the cold, his body wracked with it, as he pushed the door closed.

Dean stood and- for the moment putting aside his many questions and sneaking suspicion- ran and grabbed all the towels Cas had. He draped one over the Alpha’s head and blinked when Cas stared, seemingly just now noticing Dean’s presence.

“D-Dean, w-w-what are...y-you-”

Dean tugged him toward the bathroom, his heart pounding in his chest. He didn’t look at Cas, _couldn’t_ look at him, not with all the questions in his head and all the answers finally coming together. He ran next to scalding water into the tub, in the meantime rubbing his hands furiously over the towels draped over Cas’s shoulders and arms. Cas watched him warily, his lips blue, his body shaking violently. When the tub was half full, Dean threw the towels off of him and helped him into the water. Cas hissed as he lowered himself into it, and Dean followed up by dunking one of the towels in the hot water and draping it back over his shoulders, doing the same with another and laying that one over his head. 

Dean let out a breath as he sat on the edge of the tub, and he looked up out the window, letting the entire thing play out in his head again. 

It was a long, tense silence between them interrupted occasionally when Dean drained some of the cooling water and added in hot water. Cas sat mostly still, shivering as his body temperature warmed slowly. Dean wouldn’t look at Cas, his eyes staring almost blankly out the window. 

It all made so much sense now, and he felt stupid for not seeing it earlier. All the clues had been there. He had just been too naive to see them. 

Finally, when Cas stopped shaking and color was somewhat normal, Dean drained the tub and helped the Alpha out. He was quiet as he dried him off from head to toe, and fetched some warm clothes. Dean left him to dress and collapsed on the futon, his abandoned tea cup probably nice and cold now. 

Cas emerged a few minutes later, stopping a few feet outside of the bathroom door. Dean pointedly looked down at his fidgeting hands. Even expecting it, when Cas spoke it sounded out of place, somehow too loud for the room. 

“Dean.”

“I’m...really angry, Cas,” Dean said, almost shocked at how true it was. He’d been so focused on getting Cas warm again he hadn’t stopped to think about how he was feeling. “Just...this whole time?”

Cas looked down and nodded solemnly. 

Dean stood up and began to pace, and he couldn’t decide if he wanted to yell or cry. He felt oddly betrayed. He’d spoken so openly to his wolf-  _ Cas-  _ even before he and Cas started things. He told him things he’d never told anyone. 

“Were you  _ ever _ going to tell me?” Dean demanded, turning to glare at Cas, who hung his head ashamedly. “Or were you just gonna let me keep...damn it, Cas!” 

“Of course I was going to tell you,” Cas said finally, looking up at him with downturned, sad eyes. “I just...Dean, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. When things started to get serious, I knew I had to tell you, but...I didn’t know how to. I didn’t want you to hate me. Please, believe me, I never intended to use it to my advantage over you, I...I didn’t know-”

“You didn’t know I was going to tell you everything? Of course, why would I spill personal information to anyone that’s not you, right? Oh, because he was a fucking  _ wolf _ , and I thought it was safe.” 

Cas winced and looked away, rubbing absently at his arm.

Dean put his hands on his hips and scoffed, close to tears. “I thought I could just...be honest with someone for once, without having to worry about being judged. And it was you the whole time, and you didn’t even…” he shook his head, looking up at the ceiling to stop the tears threatening to run down his face. “You just... _ let  _ me. Let me tell you personal shit I’ve never told anyone. So that’s it, then? I didn’t tell y _ ou _ what you wanted to hear so you just found out on your own anyway.”

“No, Dean, I-”

“That’s fucking low, Cas. Really fucking low. You feel better now? Huh? How’s it make you feel now that you know everything? Wanna preach to me about what the fuck I need to do since the rape, or since I laid on the shitty floor of that gas station as I almost bled to death losing my pup? Why don’t you tell me all about my shitty life and the things I can do to make it better?”

Cas’s arms hung limply by his sides, the occasional shiver still wracking his body. His eyes were watery too, and he sniffed loudly. “I don’t know what to say, Dean, other than I’m sorry.”

Dean stared hard at Cas, breathing raggedly, his hands clenched at his sides. He felt close to tears, the hurt and betrayal of it all so palpable it was like a knife cutting into his heart. 

“I  _ trusted _ you,” Dean snarled. “I...we  _ did  _ things _.  _ Because I thought you were safe. And this whole time you’ve been pretending that this was at my pace. That I could talk about things when I was comfortable. And you  _ lied _ this whole-” Dean stopped suddenly and held a fist over his mouth, then grabbed the jacket Benny left with him. “I can’t look at you anymore. I’m leaving.” 

He didn’t specify if he meant the cabin or the camp, and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. He pulled Benny’s jacket tightly around him and took off down the hill toward his cabin, fully intending to hole himself up inside and figure out what he was going to do. He looked up as he began to near the end of the hill to see Charlie heading somewhat hurriedly up the hill alone.

“Dean! Dean, Cas, is he-?”

Charlie stopped just ahead of him, struggling to catch her breath. Dean didn’t slow down, just kept walking past her.

“He’s up there,” he grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaving Charlie looking after him with a perplexed expression. By the time he’d made it to his cabin and looked back again, Charlie had almost made it to the top of the hill. 

He stopped at his door, hand hesitating over the knob, then looked over at Benny’s cabin. He was standing there just watching him with his arms crossed over his chest. Not many others were around, and Dean assumed that they were all likely in the medic cabin with Missouri and Ezra and his concerned parents. Part of him wanted to make sure the boy was okay, but he was probably giving off an unpleasant scent currently...nothing he’d want the rest of the compound to smell on him. 

He trudged over to Benny’s cabin and stepped up on the porch, surveying Benny’s relaxed look as he leaned against his door, one ankle crossed over the other. 

“Did you know?” Dean demanded angrily, shoulders rigid.

Benny looked unfazed. He narrowed his eyes slightly before they flicked up at Castiel’s cabin, then slowly back down at Dean’s face. “Know what?”

Dean ignored the feigned ignorance. “You did, didn’t you? You knew, but you’re too goddamn loyal to say anything. I thought we were  _ friends _ , Benny, and just...how the fuck-?”

“We  _ are  _ friends, chief,” Benny said coolly. "But yes, my loyalty lies with Castiel, because he’s our Alpha. He loves us. He takes care of us. He protects us.” He nodded sagely and Dean had a flash of that stupid wolf helping Ezra out of the lake. 

“But you  _ knew _ , and you didn’t-”

“But  _ you  _ knew too, didn’t you, Dean?” Benny raised his voice and stood up straight, pointing a finger at him. “You knew, too. You just didn’t wanna believe it. Because believing it meant opening up to someone for the first time in your life. Am I righ'?”

“That doesn’t make any of this okay,” Dean said angrily, his voice growing louder and causing a few to cast curious eyes over at him. Jesus, always with everyone  _ watching _ him. It was infuriating. “You don’t get to make excuses for lying about shit like this!” 

“Dean-“ 

“No,” Dean ripped off the jacket and threw it at Benny. “Damn you, damn this pack, and damn its  _ Alpha _ !”

He stormed off and disappeared inside his cabin, fuming and kicking over the chair and table because that was all he had to destroy.  He wondered how many others knew. Charlie for sure. Maybe even Missouri. Possibly Rory. 

Dean collapsed on his bed, tears streaming down his face. They all lied to him. Every single one.  He allowed himself to consider briefly that maybe he was being a little unreasonable. After all, he  _ liked _ talking to the wolf. He sought him out, because it felt good to _ tell _ someone. All true, but that was before he knew that the wolf  _ understood  _ him. 

Cas had opportunities to tell him. Cas  _ should've  _ told him. Dean should've known this, Cas could've said that. It was all too late now. 

It wasn't right. Despite how badly Cas appeared to feel about it, none of it was right, and it _damn_ sure wasn't okay. 

——

Dean stared out the window, the moon shining down on the fallen snow and casting the camp into eerie shadows. It was very late now, the only ones out of their cabins being Betas, scouting the gate. Dean had waited until their numbers were at their lowest, patient and silent in his cabin. Benny had watched his door; he could smell him most of the day. Possibly the Beta had known what Dean planned to do. But even Benny needed sleep. 

Quietly, Dean stood and grabbed his bag stuffed full with food, water, a blanket, and other essentials Dean had swiped from the cabin. He didn’t feel bad for stealing. This pack had plenty. They could spare a few things. 

Silently, Dean slipped out of his cabin and immediately turned right. There was a section of fallen fence far behind the main part of camp. They hadn’t fixed it yet. It faced the river and was mostly out of the way. Dean would slip out through there. 

He walked quickly, not one step wasted. Two jackets covered his body, and the temperature was well below freezing. He hardly noticed the cold, though. His anger and hurt shielded him, blocked out the wind and snow. Dean didn’t even bother to hide his tracks. By the time they figured out what happened, he’d be hours away, his tracks covered over with fresh snow. 

——-

It was strange how being on his own now felt like he first did when he came to the compound. He felt more alone than he ever had before, out of place, a slave to the elements this time rather than social construct. He thought getting away from the compound and putting some distance between him and Cas would help, but he found himself more anxious and uncomfortable the further away he got. He stubbornly pushed the thoughts of Cas aside, unwilling to let his feelings change his mind. 

He actually felt really guilty about leaving Rory, though, and he could imagine her now, sitting up in that big cabin on the hill with the book Dean would never get the chance to read. He wondered vaguely what Cas told her, or if Cas had even realized he was gone yet. 

In fact, the more he thought about Rory, the more upset  he became. She hadn’t been his, but his Omega instincts thought she was. He felt as if he was abandoning his pup, just like his parents had done. The thought stopped him in his tracks and he stared hard at the snow, the wind whipping at him.

Even if he went back, it changed nothing. Cas had lied about something pretty important, and who knew what else he was hiding from Dean. He wasn’t sure if he could ever mate with Cas now, despite what his scent told others, which meant Rory would never be his. She’d be sad, angry, maybe even a little heartbroken. But after a few months she’d forget about him. She had her dad, Charlie, and a whole pack who loved her. She didn’t need Dean.

Dean straightened his spine and charged on, disappearing deeper into the woods, gaining more and more distance from the compound.

\-------

Benny shifted on his feet, the wood creaking below him as he stared at the door. The camp was mostly quiet, the sun barely up, but Benny had been going for two hours now. Searching and calling for an Omega he knew in his gut was long gone. 

Finally he sighed and knocked firmly on the Alpha’s door. He waited a few minutes until finally Cas cracked it open, his tired eyes and rumpled state telling Benny that the man had had a restless night.

“Alpha,” he greeted with a nod. “I’ve, uh...got some news. Can I come in?”

Cas blinked and nodded, shuffling aside and letting Benny slip inside. He took off his hat and fiddled with it, biting his lip a he stared at the floor.

His shoulders sagged after a moment and he rubbed at his head. “Ah...Dean is gone, boss. Left in the middle of the night. I closed my eyes for just a moment...and he got past the other Betas on lookout. Cabin is cleaned out of whatever food and clothes he had…”

Cas looked out the window, down at the lines of cabins. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, looking back to Benny then exhaling slowly. "How long ago, do you think?”

“Boss?”

“Since he left.” Cas gritted his teeth. “How long?”

“No more than a few hours, I'd imagine.” Benny bent the brim of his cap between his hands. 

Cas turned and passed Benny, crossing back over to the door. He shrugged on his jacket and stepped into his boots, hastily lacing them up, then pulled on a stocking cap.

Benny stepped forward hesitantly. “You thinkin’ search party?”

“No.” Cas turned back to him, pulling on gloves. “I need you to stay here. I'll find him. There's a storm coming in. He'll die out there.”

Benny nodded and thrust a thumb over his shoulder. “Want me to watch little mama?” 

“No, she's with Charlie. Just let her know I've gone.” Cas pulled the door open and took a step outside. 

“Cas!” Benny caught the door, shaking his head. “I ran into Charlie this morning...she thought Rory was here.”

Cas’s eyes widened and he turned, quickly making his way down the hill. Benny threw on his hat and closed the door behind him, trailing closely behind. 

Benny grabbed Bobby on their way to Charlie, alerting him to the Alpha’s missing pup and sort of mate. The gruff man nodded and took off to grab a search party for Rory. 

“Cas!”

Charlie waved them over, looking distressed and wringing her hands together. They trotted to her, Benny’s eyes darting around.

“Rory isn’t with him, Charlie,” he said worriedly.

Her face fell and she shook her head. “Cas, I...she hasn’t been with me at all this morning. I thought you had her…”

“Benny!”

The Beta whipped around along with Cas, who was starting to get that wild look in his eye. Bobby ran up to them and jerked his head.

“Tracks. Little ones.”

“Where?” Cas demanded, growling low in his chest.

Bobby swallowed and ducked his head. “By...by Dean’s. I think she’s following him.”

Cas took off that direction at a run, Benny and Charlie calling his name after him. He looked back and motioned to them, yelling over the sound of the wind whipping through the trees. 

“I'm going ahead! Arrange everyone you can and head out after me!”

Benny and Charlie took off, knocking on cabin doors as Cas disappeared into the brush. 

\----

_ Jesus _ , it was cold. 

Dean stumbled through the snow, his eyes trained on the small cave ahead. The temperature had plummeted significantly and the wind was like a knife on his skin, cutting through his layers like he wasn’t wearing anything at all. He glanced up briefly to see the angry looking clouds above and thought, not for the first time, that maybe he shouldn’t have left. Or had least paid better attention to the weather. This storm was bad. He’d seen storms like this before, but had been able to hide away in his gas station. The cave would offer little shelter and Dean knew if he saw tomorrow, it’d be a miracle.

Teeth chattering, lips blue, and body stiff, Dean trudged ahead. When he reached the cave, he threw his bag down, looked back-

“The fuck…?” Dean blinked, shaking violently, unsure if he was really seeing what he thought he was seeing. He focused his eyes and took a step forward.

“Rory?!” Dean yelled, hoping he was crazy and not seeing his pup outside in a freezing storm. 

Her little head lifted and she was half buried in snow, making her slowly to him. Dean cursed and ran out, snatching her off the ground and carrying her back into the cave.

“The hell were you thinking?!” Dean shouted, not waiting for an answer as he grabbed the firewood he’d collected (the few he could stand to carry), and lit them up. It was a small fire and did little to keep them warm, but it was something. 

He knelt in front of her, but her eyes were unfocused and her small body was trembling uncontrollably. Dean frantically looked around, full on panic setting in. There was no way they could survive this. It was too cold, the wind too strong. If they didn’t freeze to death, they’d be buried under snow.

“D-Dean…” she whimpered, her voice small.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, trying to keep his voice calm. “I gotcha.”

Not knowing what else to do, Dean pulled her to him and wrapped his body around her, getting as close to the fire as he dared. He pulled the blanket out of his bag. It was thick with fur and big enough to cover them twice. 

“What were you thinking?” Dean hissed at her, blinking at the fire as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. 

“You left,” she whispered, clutching at his neck. 

Dean clenched his jaw. “I had to.”

“No, you didn't.”

“Rory, I-” he took a deep breath and exhaled into her shoulder, “I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. But I did, I had to go.”

She sniffled. “We don't want you to go, Dean.” She blinked up at him with glassy blue eyes, her eyelashes wet with tears. “Please. Can we just go back home?”

“Baby, even if I wanted to, there’s no goin’ anywhere right now,” Dean sighed, eyes sliding over to the mouth of the cave. It had been miraculous that he’d stumbled across it. Even with shelter they stood little chance of survival, especially if the storm continued into the night. Once nightfall hit, everything would freeze.

He didn’t say any of this to her, though. Just hugged her tighter, rocking back and forth, willing the fire to burn hotter.

“It’s cold,” Rory whimpered, trying to snuggle into him more.

“I know,” Dean whispered. “Just...don’t think about it. Think about somethin’ else.”

“Like what?" she sniffed.

“Harry,” Dean said. “Tell me more about Harry Potter. What happens next in the book?”

“I don’t-” Rory sighed and snuggled closer, her small voice muffled against Dean’s shoulder, “I d-don’t remember where we w-were…”

“Well,” Dean frowned, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Harry got in trouble for the whole snake incident at the zoo, and he started getting thousands of letters addressed to him by owl. Then the Dursleys left in the middle of the night with Harry, went to some island or whatever in the middle of nowhere, and when we stopped they had just been woken up by a loud pounding on the door.”

Rory perked a little in his arms. “Oooh, it’s just getting good! You’re about to meet Hagrid.”

“Hagrid?”

“Yeah, he’s like, a giant or something, and he’s really nice to Harry. He reminds me of Benny.” She giggled, wrapping her arm more securely around Dean’s neck, tangling her little fingers in the hair on the nape.

“I’m gonna tell Benny you called him a giant,” Dean teased, ducking his head to press his cheek against hers, locking in as much warmth as he could. 

“He already knows.” 

Dean chuckled. “Okay, so we meet Hagrid. Then what?” 

“Oh, so…” 

Dean kept her talking until her voice ran hoarse. She eventually dozed off in his arms, Dean holding tightly, her breath ghosting over his neck. Her core temperature was okay, as long as he stayed wrapped around her. Dean, on the other hand, felt himself growing colder ever so slightly. He fought sleep, determined to stay awake- stay alive- for Rory’s sake. He had no doubt her dad was out there right now looking for her, but he couldn’t bet on Cas finding her in time. No, he had to keep her warm long enough to be found. 

It was quiet without her chattering, save for the wind howling outside. Dean watched the snow steadily build around them. He should go and get more wood, but he couldn’t leave her. And if he stepped outside again, there was a good chance he wouldn’t come back. 

It was hours before he noticed it. With the snow and wind numbing his nose, he almost didn’t catch the scent. The scent of Alpha. It wasn’t Cas, though. It smelled...awful, and as soon as it hit his senses Dean stiffened and his sluggish heart began to pound. He hadn’t smelled that since he was young and pinned beneath a snarling beast of an Alpha. It was unmistakable. How and why were lost under the  _ hide, run _ pounding in his head. 

But he couldn’t. There was nowhere to run, and he had a pup to protect. 

For the first time, he was thankful that their little fire had gone out. There was a chance the Alpha wouldn’t notice them, couldn’t smell them over the smell of ash. He got up slowly and moved as far into the cave as he could, careful not to jostle Rory. He hunched over in the very back of the cave, holding her tightly to his torso, trying to make them look as small as possible. The wind whipped against the rock and new snow and ice piled onto old. Every muscle in Dean’s body was rigid as he waited, closed his eyes and inhaled the top of Rory’s head, prayed that Cas found them before anyone else did. He ran a hand over Rory’s hair and tucked her head under his chin, looking over her at the storm.

The sound of voices carrying over the storm had him frozen in the back corner of the cave, his eyes closed as he tried to slow his breathing and control his shivering. When they were close enough that he could hear their footsteps, he shifted his body, putting himself between Rory and the opening of the cave, arms still tightly around her. 

“Somethin’ over here, Zach!” Someone called, and Dean flinched, not sure who he was more afraid for in that moment- himself or his pup.

He didn’t look, but he could feel him the second he stepped foot in the cave. His already frozen body locked up, his breathing quickening into almost hyperventilating levels. His arms tightened around Rory and he breathed in her scent, which faintly smelled of summer and flowers. 

“What do we have here…?” 

Dean snarled, his heart pounding so hard it hurt, and lifted his head enough to show his fangs. 

“That’s not very nice.” The Alpha stepped into view, and he was just as Dean remembered. Dark skin, shaved head, and an ugly scar running down his face. Michael had aged considerably, looking ragged and worn, but he still had that glint in his eye- the one that had Dean trembling in fear. 

“Dean…?” Rory whispered, waking and sensing the danger immediately. She curled into him helplessly. 

“Ohhh, and it has a pup, too...this will be fun.” 

“You won’t touch her!” Dean snapped at the hand reaching for them, drawing blood as his fangs snagged on skin. 

The Alpha retracted his hand quickly, cradling it to his chest. “You fucking-”

He pulled his arm back, preparing to throw a punch, when the Beta - Zach- grabbed his arm roughly. 

“Hey, just a second there, Mike. Let me take the girl first. Al will want her.”

Dean snarled and squeezed Rory tighter as she whimpered into his chest. Michael and Zach closed in on them, two pairs of hands grabbing and pulling them toward the entrance of the cave. Rory cried out as Zach tore her from Dean’s arms, Michael's fingernails biting into the skin of his shoulders. Dean grabbed desperately for her, but Zach was already pulling her away, Michael’s hold on him too strong for him to break.

“Get the fuck off of me!” He snarled, tears welling in his eyes, his heart pounding in his chest. He could no longer see Rory, but he could hear her cries echoing through the cave, calling for her mom, calling for  _ him _ . 

A surge of protectiveness coursed through his body and he broke away from Michael, scrambling on his hands and knees for the entrance of the cave, trying to get a good enough hold on the rocks to stand and get to her. He’d barely made it to his feet when he was tackled again from behind, falling onto his stomach as Michael fell on top of him, his head hitting the rock roughly. Panic set in at the familiarity of the situation and he screamed, tears running down his face as Rory’s cries began to fade.

Michael hauled him to his feet again as Dean’s head swam, and he vaguely registered blood running down his face, the coppery smell making his stomach turn. 

“Rory!” he screamed hoarsely, but there was no answer.

Michael chuckled darkly above him and pressed his noticeable bulge to Dean’s ass. “Struggle all you want. She’s gone, and you’re mine.” 

Dean whimpered, clawing at the ground, and shuddering in disgust when Michael licked down his neck. The Alpha hummed then stilled before laughing lowly. 

“Oh...oh, I know you…” he purred, raking claws down Dean’s sides. “I remember you, little Omega. You screamed so pretty. Let’s see if you can do it again, hm?” 

Dean tried to curl into a ball, but Michael kept him pinned, claws digging into his wrists and drawing blood. In an instant, Dean saw everything. His small, frail body pinned to the forest floor. Michael, snarling and snapping his hips, pushing that knot in and tearing him open from the inside. He’d been so weak, so sick, too small to do anything...and it was happening all over again. Michael would tear him apart, and this time he wouldn’t survive-

“Dean!” 

Rory’s voice, so far away and scared, snapped Dean from his thoughts. The Omega growled, bracing his arms on the stone below him. He wasn’t small anymore. He wasn’t weak. Michael was old now, and Dean was bigger, stronger. This would  _ not  _ happen again. He refused to let this Alpha have his way again. 

Dean growled and pushed up, smacking his head into Michael’s face. The Alpha cried out and flew back, cradling his smashed nose as blood poured down his face. Dean scrambled to his feet and took off out of the cave, tripping once and catching himself, then hurdling himself through the mouth of the cave and into the snow. It was coming down hard now, and he could barely see Zach in the distance with a struggling Rory...could barely hear her cries over the whipping of the wind.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he threw his elbow back without another thought, connecting with something solid. Michael cried out again and let go, and Dean pressed on, gritting his teeth as he struggled to catch up. Rory spotted him over Zach’s shoulder and reached out a little hand, her mouth open in a silent scream. Zach didn’t appear to hear him coming yet, and Dean didn’t bother to look behind him to see where Michael was. Every instinct pushed him forward: _ protectprotectprotect. _

“Rory!” he called again, stumbling through the snow. Her hand was still reaching out for him, and she was yelling something that was swallowed up by the storm before Dean could make it out.

The crunching of snow behind him let him know that Michael was back up and hot on his trail again, and Dean gritted his teeth and turned, planting his feet in the snow and throwing his arm forward with all the strength of his upper body. His fist connected with Michael’s jaw and they both fell forward, Dean quickly scrambling back to his feet and delivering a swift kick to the Alpha’s ribs before turning and continuing his pursuit.

He pushed forward, face numb and lungs burning, slowly gaining on the man and his pup. He could see the tear tracks on her cheeks now, hear her pitiful shrieks, could finally make out what she was saying…

“Mama!”

Dean saw red. 

He snarled and leaped, tackling Zach to the ground. Rory scrambled from his arms as Dean ripped his claws over the man’s back, tearing through layers of clothing to get to the soft skin below. Zach shrieked, trying to buck him off, but his efforts were fruitless. Blood blossomed beneath Dean's hands and he growled in triumph, tearing and shredding, getting his claws on anything he could. Zach managed to flip around, but Dean was fast and tore at his face. The Beta whimpered, growing weaker with each new wound, until finally Dean connected to his throat. 

Zach gurgled, clutching weakly at his throat, then went limp. 

Dean sat back, his claws a bloody mess, and made to turn to Rory when a huge weight plowed into him from behind. He heard Rory scream as Michael threw Dean to the ground, cold snow hitting his skin. The Omega snarled viciously and whipped his claws around, missing the Alpha’s throat by an inch. 

“ _ Stay down, Omega bitch!”  _ Michael roared, struggling to keep Dean pinned as the Omega kicked out, snapping his jaws. He managed to flip Dean over, gripping his wrists tightly and holding them down into the snow. Dean struggled, turning his head to the side in time to see Rory charge up behind them. He tried to yell to her, to tell her no, to tell her to run, but he didn’t get the chance. She wrapped her arms around Michael’s neck and scratched at his face, and he cried out in pain before grabbing her by the jacket and throwing her off beside them. He let go of Dean with one hand in favor of grabbing Rory by the throat, and she choked in sputtered beneath his hand. 

Dean swung his free arm back, his elbow connecting with Michael’s ribs, throwing him off balance enough that he let Rory go and she flopped onto her side, gasping for air.

“Rory, run!” Dean growled out, and for once in her life she didn’t argue, scrambling to her feet and getting out of the immediate danger zone. He saw her turn back to him just before Michael pushed his face into the snow again, pinning his wrists above his head, struggling with his belt. 

Dean gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, pulling at his wrists. The hand on them was strong but there was room to play, and he used it to his advantage, working to pry his hands loose and trying to buck the Alpha off of him.

Michael laughed, even while Dean could feel warm blood dripping onto his back. 

“You like it, don’t you, Omega? Just like last time.”

Dean growled, tears stinging his eyes, and with his remaining strength he pulled his hands free and pushed back, throwing Michael off balance again. He stumbled back into the snow as Dean got to his feet and turned, claws out by the ready at his sides. 

Michael charged for him again and Dean barely registered Rory’s desperate scream, her scream for  _ Mama _ , before Michael was tackled to the ground by a black streak...a large mass of black fur.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15, in which we go from "It's a Hard Knock Life" to "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow"
> 
> or "Here Comes the Sun, doo doo doo doo" or whatever sunshine symbolic song you wanna use for Cas
> 
> Sorry this one's so short, but I had a little time and I'm guessing you guys won't mind. I'm thinking there's probably 2 more chapters left, but I'm not sure because I'm too lazy to edit and post more than one chapter at a time. Enjoy!

Dean’s breath left him in a whoosh as the wolf snapped and snarled against Michael’s hands, the only thing protecting his face from sharp teeth. He grabbed fistfuls of fur and held them, trying to keep the wolf away. Dean took the opportunity to go to Rory, grabbing her on the run and holding her to him as he ran to shelter. She clung to his body, her cries now screams, her cheeks frozen with tears, her nose red and running.

Dean dove back into the cave and grabbed the blanket, wrapping her up tightly and grimacing when his bloody claws smeared red across the fur. He heard snarling and growling outside, then another voice yelling into the wind. He recognized it as Benny and hauled Rory into his arms, dashing back outside. 

He caught sight of the Beta and ran to him, pushing the pup into his arms. 

“Get her warm  _ now _ ,” Dean snarled, already turning and running back towards his wolf. He didn’t have to go far. He saw the two up ahead, rolling in the snow as each Alpha fought for dominance. 

Cas was bigger and stronger, though, in his wolf form, his huge fangs tearing through skin easily. He had ahold of Michael’s hand as Dean approached, trying to fight his way to his throat. Michael struggled to hold him off, shrieking as the wolf worked to take off one of his fingers. He managed to kick him off briefly, pushing his bloodied hand into the snow as he dug furiously in his pocket and produced a small blade.

Cas either didn’t see it or didn’t care, charging him again and lunging for his face. Dean screamed as the yelp tore through the air, but Cas didn’t stop, snarling and snapping as he inched closer and closer to Michael’s face. 

Michael swung the blade up again and it disappeared into black fur...just before Cas’s jaws closed around his throat.

Dean flinched when Michael gurgled, hands falling loosely as Cas reared his massive head and ripped the flesh of Michael’s throat out, nearly beheading the Alpha. Blood splattered across the snow and Michael’s lifeless body fell back with a soft thud. 

Dean breathed hard, staring at the corpse of his torturer, the one who  _ broke _ him, and felt hot tears of relief fall down his face. He stumbled over to Cas and fell to his knees beside him, looking dazed and ready to pass out. 

“Cas…” he murmured, reaching out, but his hand never made it. Dean’s world went black, and his last conscious image was the knife sticking out of his wolf’s fur. 

\----

Dean was in and out of consciousness on the trip back, only vaguely aware that he was being carried through the storm. He registered strong arms and warmth, his body now wrapped with several blankets. He wanted to speak, to ask about his wolf and his pup, but no sound came, and he was plunged back into darkness.

\----

He was back at the lake. The snow was gone and he was warm...almost too warm. Sunlight filtered through the trees and he squinted up at it, the green leaves blowing in the breeze. He heard a splash and the water rippled, and he focused on the little redhead in the middle of the lake, grinning as she doggy-paddled to him on the shore.

“Dean, watch me!” Rory called, and he smiled as she kicked her legs out like a frog, barely keeping her head above water. He closed his eyes and breathed in, the scent of fire and ocean water tickling his nose. 

“Watch me, Dean!”

The voice wasn’t exactly right that time, distorted, veering from the innocence of his pup. Deeper, older, wiser.

_ “Dean, watch me.” _

He opened his eyes and Rory was gone, in her place another fiery redhead, one he’d never seen before. Her skin was pale, freckles splattered across her cheekbones, tinted with a rosy sheen. She had a small button nose and a contagious smile, her green eyes shining brightly as she smiled softly at him. She swam toward him in a slow breaststroke, her wet hair matted to the sides of her face.

But he  _ had _ seen her before, hadn’t he?

“You,” was all he managed, sitting up straight, blinking at her. She smiled wider and shook her head.

“Not me. Not anymore.”

He tilted his head and squinted at her, her skin seeming to glow brighter the closer she came to him. She looked ethereal as she began to emerge from the lake and Dean froze, digging his nails into the earth below him.

She walked over and kneeled before him, taking his chin in her hand and stroking it with a thumb.

“It’s you, now,” she said sincerely, her pink lips stretched into a resigned smile. Her hand dropped to the silver bullet around his neck, her fingertips burning hot against his skin. 

She was beautiful, painfully so, and when she stood and stepped back, Dean had a hard time tearing his eyes away. That is, until he heard the water splashing again, Rory squealing and a familiar chuckle, soft at first, then growing louder. 

She looked out over the water at Cas and Rory, the little girl grinning from ear to ear, hair flopped over into her face, her arms around Cas’s neck. He looked over at them and smiled- his gummy, nose wrinkling, eye crinkling smile- and waved him over. 

Dean thought perhaps Cas was waving at the woman, the one whose name he couldn't bring himself to say. But she stepped to the side, and Cas’s eyes never moved from Dean. 

Dean looked back up at her, squinting against the sunlight. 

She smiled warmly and nodded, inclining her head to the water, where Cas and Rory waded with outstretched arms, reaching toward the shore. 

_ “It's you now.” _

\----

When he awoke again it was to the sound of a tea kettle whistling. He was on something soft and warm, and he blinked, seeing the flicker of a fireplace through the fog. There was some distant shuffling and Benny’s face came into view as he sat on the edge of the bed and handed Dean a cup of something steaming.

“There you are, cher,” Benny’s rumbling voice broke through the silence in Dean’s head, seeming less like a dream and more like reality. “Sit up. Drink this. It’ll help.”

Dean groaned and struggled to sit up, feeling all the bruises, scrapes, and torn skin where Michael’s claws had connected. By the time he was vertical, he was panting and his vision swam. He swallowed and hugged the blanket around him, cold despite the warmth of the cabin. 

Benny wordlessly handed him a cup of...something. Dean didn’t care what it was. He sipped at it sluggishly, not really tasting anything, but it was hot and that’s all he cared about. 

“Pup,” he croaked. 

“What’s that?” Benny asked. 

“Where...is my pup?” Dean said slowly. 

“She’s alright, cher. She’s resting.” 

Satisfied, Dean focused on finishing off his cup before handing it back to Benny. He fell back onto the bed and curled into a ball, blinking blearily at the fire. 

Benny shuffled around to the futon and sat down with a tired sigh, taking off his hat and running a hand through his short hair. 

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asked after a moment, his voice hoarse. 

“Medic,” Benny murmured, bending the brim of his hat. 

Dean frowned and looked at him sharply. Benny held up a hand and shook his head. 

“He’ll be fine...just needs to heal up.” 

Dean closed his eyes and sighed, drifting in and out of a light sleep. He woke again when a small body crawled in beside him, Rory murmuring ‘mama’ underneath her breath as she curled up to his chest. Dean purred and wrapped his arms around her, and they fell asleep.

———

There was no telling how much time had passed when he woke again, but Rory was still curled up by his side, her mouth open as she breathed softly, though Dean could hear a small rattle in her chest. He supposed a cold was a parting gift he could live with, especially when things could've been so much worse. He’d need to get her to Missouri though, to make sure the cold didn’t go into pneumonia.

The dark bruise around her neck bothered him much more, but she was alive, and even as he ran his fingers over the mark and choked back a sob, he knew that she would be okay. And Cas -

_ Cas.  _

Dean bolted upright, his aching head spinning, his stomach turning at the motion. 

“Whoa, whoa, hey,” a voice said from somewhere close by, and Dean tensed. He relaxed slightly when Charlie's face came into view, her hands in the air defensively. 

“What-”

“You need to rest,” she said firmly, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“No, Cas, he-”

“Dean, listen to me, he's in surgery, okay? The knife knicked his liver, and Missouri had to stitch it up. He should be fine.” Charlie’s eyes were puffy and red, but she looked hopeful. She reached over and ran a hand through Rory’s hair. 

Dean had to fight off a snarl, clamping his jaw shut, and instinctively pulled his pup closer to his body. He knew of course that Charlie was to be trusted, but the events had left him shaken and protective. He didn’t really want anyone touching Rory, even one who had raised her long before Dean ever showed up. 

“How soon can I see Cas?” he asked her.

Charlie shrugged and looked away, her face carefully neutral. “I’m not sure. That’s up to Missouri.”

Dean frowned up at her, absently stroking Rory’s hair as she slept. Her and Benny were both acting distant and he supposed that was that be expected. Whether they cared about his wellbeing or not was unclear, but they’d almost lost Rory  _ and  _ their Alpha. They were trying to pretend everything was okay, but they were both anxious, devasted. He could  _ smell _ it, hanging heavy in the air, even despite the strong scent of ash from the fire.

“Have… you spoken to Cas yet?”

Charlie looked back at him and shook her head slowly. “No...Dean, he…” she chanced a look at Rory, who was still fast sleep. “He hasn't… _ woken up _ yet. He passed out from blood loss and…” her voice broke, but she cleared her throat with a shake of her head. “Um. They… they kept pressure on the wounds until we got back, then Missouri started working on him and I…”

She looked away and bit her lip. Benny walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, and she leaned into the touch, looking over at the fire. 

“He's gonna be fine,” Benny said confidently, bowing his head slightly to Dean. 

Dean itched to go see the Alpha, but his presence would only hinder things. And who knew if Cas even wanted to see him. Dean wasn’t naive enough to think Cas had been out there looking for  _ him _ . He’d been searching for his pup. He’d helped only because it served the purpose of getting his daughter out of danger. Dean was sure once Cas woke up he’d be furious with Dean. Maybe even want him gone.

The Omega buried his nose in Rory’s neck and purred softly, his arms tightening around her small frame. She sighed and snuggled deeper, scenting at him in her sleep. 

“She should probably eat something,” Charlie said softly, rousing Dean before he could fall asleep again. He looked up at her, noticing how she seemed to keep her distance. She looked at him expectantly and he nodded, laying a hand on Rory’s shoulder and gently shaking her.

“Rory…” he murmured, tickling her earlobe, “Baby, wake up. You need to eat.”

She grumbled a little in her sleep, but finally opened her eyes, blinking tiredly up at him. Her hand reached for his almost involuntarily, and she tried to turn and snuggle into his chest. 

“Rory, sweetie,” Charlie started to reach out, but seemed to think better of it. 

Rory turned again and blinked up at her, shooting straight up in bed when she noticed Benny. 

“Where's Papa?”

Charlie sucked in a breath and looked up at Benny, who came around the bed to sit next to Rory. 

“He's just a little hurt. Missouri is fixing him up though, and he's gonna be fine, okay?” Benny laid his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. 

“I wanna see him.”

Charlie shook her head slowly. “Rory, you can't -”

Rory turned to Dean, blinking tears back. “Mama, I wanna see him.”

Both Charlie and Benny looked to Dean, eyes wide. Charlie put her hand over her mouth and swallowed hard, and Benny nervously adjusted his hat. 

Dean looked at them anxiously, trying to read their expressions but not getting much of anything other than shock. He swallowed and looked down at Rory, brushing away a tear.

“Papa needs to rest a little more,” he said softly. “A little while longer, okay? Then we can go see him. I promise.”

She sniffed and grabbed his finger, squeezing it and biting her lip. “Really?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah...you can tell him how brave you were.”

Rory gave him a watery smile and kissed his nose. “Okay, mama.”

Dean inhaled shakily as she crawled off the bed and headed towards the kitchen. Charlie blinked rapidly, eyes shiny, and wordlessly got up and set about preparing the pup a small meal. 

Benny sighed and clasped his hands in his lap. “He is gonna be fine, Dean.”

“You tryna convince yourself or me?”

Benny gave a humorless laugh, looking down at his hands. “Nah, he'll be fine.”

Dean eyed him for a moment before looking back at Rory, finding himself not wanting to lose sight of her. He watched her out of the corner of his eye when he turned back to Benny. 

“I'll leave as soon as I'm back on my feet, okay? I don't plan on making a thing of it.”

“What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout, chief?” Benny looked almost shocked, his eyes narrowed to slits. “You ain't leavin’.”

Dean furrowed his eyebrows and slowly sat up, feeling a little dizzy. “But...I...I mean-”

“Listen here,” Benny said firmly, leaning forward and lowering his voice. “You pull another disappearin’ act like that again, and I’ll drag your ass back here myself. By your ears. Understand?”

Dean flushed and looked down, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. 

“Look, I’m not gonna lie,” Benny sighed, taking off his cap and running his hand over his hair. “You’ll...probably get a talkin’ to. Stirred up a lotta trouble, doin’ what you did.”

Dean frowned and stiffened his spine. “I didn’t  _ ask _ for anyone-”

“Whoa, hey,” Benny held up his hands, “Before you get all defensive. We’re not  _ blaming _ you, Dean. You don’t control the weather, or that fucked up Alpha-”

Dean flinched.

“Or wayward pups who think they can trek across the country,” Benny continued. “None of what happened is your fault and everyone knows that if you hadn’t done everything you did, we would’ve lost Rory. She told us a bit of what happened...not a lot, mind you. She clams up, see...but me, and Cas...we know you kept her safe.”

Dean relaxed marginally. 

“Still,” Benny raised a brow. “Runnin’ off like that. You had Cas in a panic. You should expect a few choice words once he wakes up.”

Dean sagged his shoulders and nodded solemnly.Though he had some choice words for Cas, too, he felt his was now luke warm at best. 

\----

Night came and went, and still neither Dean or Rory had been able to see Cas yet. Benny checked halfway through the night to find that he was awake, but drowsy. Missouri had insisted he get some real sleep before he had any visitors.

Which, of course, had everyone on edge. Rory especially. 

It was almost noon before Benny came back with some good news. 

“He's awake and he's eating… sort of,” Benny shrugged as he kicked snow off his boots.

“Kind of?” 

“Well, Missouri's got him on a liquid diet right now, but food is food,” Benny grinned, the first genuine smile Dean had seen from him in awhile. “You guys can go see him now. ‘Course, he wanted to come home, but Missouri ain't havin’ that either.”

Dean stood up from the futon, having graduated from the bed earlier that morning, and winced when some bruised ribs twinged. He was still wrapped up where Michael had clawed at him, no doubt forming new scars to add to his collection.

He snorted humorlessly and hobbled to Rory’s room, poking his head inside.

“Get your jacket and shoes on,” he said, causing her to look up from whatever she was drawing. “We’re gonna go see your papa.”

Rory beamed and scrambled to get dressed while Dean pulled on his boots. When they were both ready, they followed Benny outside and down the hill. Rory kept a tight hold on his hand, the snow crunching under their feet. Dean didn’t much like being out in the cold so soon and he suspected Rory felt the same, but they were both too anxious to see Cas.

Once at the medic cabin, Benny told him he’d wait for them outside. Dean nodded and tugged Rory along, stepping inside.

“Take it easy on him,” Missouri said from his left. She looked tired, but relieved. She smiled at Dean and patted his arm, nodding her head towards a bed in the far corner. “He’s still pretty drowsy.”

Dean licked his lips and nodded, him and Rory walking up to the bed and gazing down at their Alpha. Aside from a few scrapes and dark circles under his eyes, his face was mostly fine. His torso was almost covered completely by the blanket draped over him, but there was some ugly bruising down the middle of his chest. 

“Papa,” Rory said in a small voice, tugging his arm. He looked down at her and smiled, reaching out to take her hand. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said tiredly, blinking slowly. “How you doing?”

“Dean saved me,” she said proudly, smiling up at him. “He was really brave.”

“I saw that,” Cas said sincerely, turning those too-blue eyes on Dean. “I haven't gotten the chance to say thank you yet.”

Dean shrugged, his eyes darting around, never landing on one spot for long. Now that he was here, he was finding it hard to look at Cas. He didn’t like seeing his Alpha looking so frail. 

He also didn’t like being called brave. It hadn’t been brave at all. Just instinct and necessity.

“Just...did what I had to do,” he mumbled, which Rory scoffed at. The pup, with Dean’s help, carefully crawled onto the bed and laid beside Cas. She was careful not to touch him except for a hand on his, which she squeezed. Dean dragged a chair over and sat down heavily.

Cas’s eyes followed him, looking him over. “Are you okay?”

Dean shrugged. “I'm fine.”

Cas tilted his head. “Dean.”

Dean shook his head. “Later, Cas.” He looked pointedly at Rory, and Cas pressed his lips together. 

“Benny said,” Cas started slowly, “that they were from one of the Alpha camps nearby. A bad one. One I didn't know about.”

Dean frowned and shifted in his seat. “How is that possible?”

“I have no idea.” Cas looked down and shook his head. “I was asking myself the same thing.”

Dean glanced down at Rory, suddenly very fearful of her safety. Their camp was mostly fortified, but nothing stopped a determined Alpha. Michael was a very good example of that. 

“We’ll have to do something about that,” he said darkly. He wasn’t even sure what they  _ could _ do, but he was never letting another one of them getting their filthy hands on his pup again.

He looked back up at Cas and wondered if Alpha knew who it was he’d killed. If he’d known it was Michael, or was just too blinded by rage to see who he was attacking. 

Dean shivered and folded his arms across his chest, his wounds stinging, as if those claws were still raking into his skin.

“Yes, we will,” Cas sighed, laying his head back against the pillow. Rory wrapped her arm around his neck and pressed her forehead to his cheek. 

He hugged her the best he could and looked over her head at Dean. “I just wanna go home. Me, Rory, and you. That's all I need.”

“Soon,” Dean quirked a smile, tapping his finger on his knee. 

Cas smiled back, gently rubbing Rory’s arm. “So you'll stay?”

Dean nodded slowly. “Yes...I’ll stay.” 

“Of course mama is staying,” Rory said with a roll of her eyes. She looked back at Dean and smiled. “We have to finish  _ Harry Potter _ .” 

Dean swallowed and nodded, looking up at Cas anxiously. Benny and Charlie were one thing, but Cas’s feelings on his only daughter calling Dean ‘mama’ were important. 

“Mmmm,” Cas pulled Rory closer to his body, despite Missouri’s earlier warnings about his injuries. She nuzzled gratefully into his neck as he looked over her head at Dean, blue eyes shining. “If  _ Harry Potter  _ is a good enough reason for you to stay, what would be a good enough reason for you to move in with us?”

Dean shifted in his seat, rubbing his palms over his jeans. He pressed his lips together and looked at Cas through his eyelashes. “Um...I…” he shrugged, blushing a bit. “As long as...you still want me. All the reason I need.”

Cas gave him a tired smile. “I’ll have Benny gather your things today.”

“He can stay with me in my room,” Rory offered sweetly, turning gently to avoid jostling Cas, who only gave a small wince.

“That’s really kind, sweetheart, but I’m afraid I may have to fight you for that one,” Cas teased, poking her in the side.

She looked back at him with a smirk, eyeing him up and down. “Well, I’d win.”

“Ouch.”

Dean smiled at them and bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Didn’t realize I was in such high demand,” he snorted.

“Papa just wants to keep you all to himself,” Rory pouted.

“Well how about you two just share,” Dean raised a brow, finding it difficult to believe he was actually having this conversation. 

“Fine,” she sighed, but then smiled and reached out to grab Dean’s hand. “I get you for six nights, papa can get you the other night.”

Dean chuckled. “That hardly seems fair.”

“She’s never played fair,” Cas interjected, and Rory scowled at him. “In any case, night time is decidedly when I’ll get him.” He threw Dean a wink then tried to look innocent when Rory whipped back around to look at him again.

“That’s gross, Papa!”

“What?!”

She made a disgusted sound and rolled her eyes. “I’m almost  _ six _ , not two.”

Cas threw his head back and laughed, immediately clutching his side and wincing. He grunted as he shifted slightly in the bed, giving Rory a little more room.

“Six is still too young, little lady,” Dean murmured, his neck flushed. 

“Is not,” she pouted at him.

“Yes it is,” Dean shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re not even in the double digits yet.”

“Not my fault,” she grumbled. “I’m growing as fast as I can.”

“Not too fast,” Cas said quickly, but Rory waved him off.

“Alright, little girl,” Missouri cut in, “you get on over there on that bed and let me look you over. And what did I tell you about giving him his space for a bit?”

Rory slid reluctantly down from the bed with her shoulders slumped. Missouri held the curtain back as she trudged through it, pointing an accusing finger at Cas, her lips pursed.

She looked to Dean next, her features softening. “Wanna see you after her, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

Dean grumbled, but nodded and sighed when Missouri and Rory disappeared through the curtain.

“Feel fine,” he said grumpily.

“I heard that,” Missouri’s voice called out.

Dean flinched and pulled his chair closer to Cas. He understood Rory’s need to crawl in beside him and had to fight that urge himself. Instead, he settled for Cas’s hand and laced their fingers together.

“I…” he began, then sighed and shook his head. “I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry, Cas. Caused this whole mess.”

Cas frowned. “ _ You’re  _ sorry? Dean, I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have told you sooner, and we could’ve avoided this entire thing. This is  _ my  _ fault. If I had been open with you about it from the beginning you never would have left in the first place, Rory never would’ve followed. Everything would’ve been fine.” He sighed and squeezed Dean’s hand, raising it to press his lips to the palm. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I can’t say it enough.”

Dean swallowed, his fingers feeling along the scruff on Cas’s chin. To think he’d come so close to never feeling that again, or Cas’s lips, or seeing those blue eyes again. He’d been stupid to leave like that. Instead of facing the problem, he’d ran like he’s always done. 

“How about…” he said slowly, his voice a little rough, “we both just agree we’re idiots and take it from there.”

He leaned down carefully and pressed a kiss to Cas’s lips, sighing as he pulled away and bumped their foreheads together. Cas reached up to card his fingers through the hair on the nape of Dean’s neck.

“Sure,” he said finally, “but I’ll always know the truth.” 

Dean huffed a laugh, his smile lingering as he leaned down to kiss Cas again. Cas still peered up at him when he pulled back again, his perpetually tired eyes dropping more than normal. He looked back down at Dean’s hand in his and gave it another squeeze.

“Do you feel better? Now that he’s dead?”

Dean blew out a breath and squeezed Cas’s hand to hide the trembling. “So...you knew…?

Cas nodded, his eyes searching Dean’s face. 

Dean licked his lips and looked down at their hands, his thumb stroking over Cas’s knuckles. “I...don’t know,” he finally whispered. “I know I did, at first. I felt...relieved. Still do, I guess, but...everything he did is still there.”

Missouri’s rules be damned, Dean got up from the chair and carefully laid out beside Cas. It was a tight squeeze, but they made do, and Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder. “He...he was gonna... _ again _ ,” Dean whispered, burying his nose in Cas’s neck. “And  _ Rory _ ...they were gonna take Rory, Cas.”

Cas swallowed hard, quiet for a long moment. “But they didn’t. Because you were strong. Because you saved her.”

Dean scoffed.

“I mean it.” Cas groaned softly as he shifted in the bed to better accommodate Dean, holding his side as he adjusted. “I didn’t save her, you did. I didn’t save you, you saved yourself.”

Dean shook his head adamantly, sliding a hand up to Cas’s neck and stroking his collar bone. “No...no, I tried, but...he had me. I knew he did. Just...wasn’t gonna let him get his way without a fight. And Rory was...I told her to run, but she wouldn’t. I couldn’t stand if she...if she saw…”

He looked up at Cas and swallowed thickly. “If you hadn’t come when you did, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“You were incredibly strong, Dean. That’s all she saw.” Cas settled back onto the pillow, grimacing at the movement. “But I fully believe that if it came down to it, you would have beat him. I just...nothing in me would have let it get that far.”

Dean hummed. He could argue, but frankly he was too tired to, and Cas was adamant. They both relished in the silence for a moment, the only sound the murmuring of Rory and Missouri on the other side of the curtain.

“She called you mama.” Cas said finally, his thumb stroking Dean’s arm. 

“Mmm,” Dean hummed, scenting Cas’s neck, taking in his calm.

“How do you feel about that?”

“Haven’t thought much about it,” Dean said honestly. “She...she was screaming it, when that Beta had her. Reaching for me. I just...reacted. All I could think was... _ protect _ . He was gonna hurt my pup...I couldn’t let him.” He paused and nosed along Cas’s neck. “I...liked it, though. Not sure others like it, but...I  _ feel _ like her mom.”

“Dean,” Cas said incredulously, the name coming out at the end of a breath, “it’s not that the others don’t  _ like  _ it. It’s that...the others never  _ heard  _ it.” 

Dean frowned. “Well, yeah, since her mom-”

Cas shook his head. “No, I mean, she’s always referred to Ysabella as her mom. But after her passing, Charlie kind of stepped into that role, just so she had someone she could refer to as mama...someone she could look at that way. More than anything, Ysabella wanted us to be happy, to live our lives, to move on. Charlie and I thought we could best help Rory that way, by giving her a mother figure. And Rory  _ loves _ Charlie, she does. But she’s never called her mama.” Cas sighed and intertwined their fingers, looking down at them. “Charlie put her entire life on hold to care for Rory as her own. I...I expected her to be hurt, heartbroken. But actually, when Charlie came here to talk to me, she was almost...relieved. She said that Rory deserved a mother as great as you. And now she can focus on herself, instead of me and Rory.”

Dean didn’t know what to say so he focused on his breathing. Slowly, in and out. He let go of Cas’s hand in favor of tracing the bruise on his chest.

“I think,” Cas continued, exhaustion creeping in his voice, “that Charlie feels like her duty to Ysabella has been fulfilled. I think...Charlie sees this as closure.”

Dean actually found that rather terrifying, because it meant he was now the one to look after Rory. Cas would help, of course, and he’s sure Charlie would still watch her every once and a while. But Dean was mom now, and would have to  _ be _ mom. If he didn’t screw it up first. 

“I guess...I guess that’s good,” Dean said, trying to keep his voice steady and failing. “I um...Cas, I don’t know how to...be a mom. Not saying I don’t want to, it’s just...I’m afraid to mess it up. Never thought of myself as mom material since I...lost mine.” 

“Six years ago, I didn’t know how to be a dad,” Cas said genuinely. “But if it’s something you want, something you aspire to, you learn along the way. I’m plagued with doubt daily about how I’m raising her.” 

Dean almost laughed out loud. Rory was incredibly intelligent, intuitive, driven...basically, everything you could want for your child, Rory was it. The idea of Cas being unsure of anything was laughable, but especially about Rory.

Cas continued. “I told you before, and I’ll say it again: I think you would have been a great mom. I think you  _ are  _ a great mom. And I think you’ll continue to be a great mom.” 

Dean huffed and nudged his forehead against Cas’s. “One of these days you’re gonna have to take those goggles off and see my flaws, too,” he murmured. 

“Never,” Cas said stubbornly, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Dean clicked his tongue and kissed Cas’s nose. “I bet you change your tune once you’ve lived with me for a little while. I’m super annoying.” 

“I’ve lived with a pup for the last six years, Dean. You don’t know the  _ meaning _ of annoying.” Cas rolled his eyes, then widened them in realization. “But you will! Very soon.” 

Dean groaned but Cas muffled the sound with a kiss, one that went from innocent to desperate and wanting with a roll of his tongue, Cas’s hands first roaming, then pulling him close.

Dean pulled away a little breathless, looking down at Cas’s kiss-swollen lips. “Better be careful, old man. I’m sure Missouri would caution against any of that anytime soon.”

Cas grinned and leaned in again, his lips brushing Dean’s as he spoke.

“I don’t give a damn what Missouri says.”

Dean rolled his eyes and bent willingly when Cas pulled him down for another kiss. It was lazy, but heated with emotions from the events of the past couple of days pouring into it. Desperation, guilt, love, and frustration all coalesced into tongues and teeth and hair pulling-

“Ahem.” 

Dean flinched and broke away, looking up at Missouri shamefully, his face red and his lips swollen. 

“Uh…”

“Castiel,” she wagged a finger at him, “you are barely out of surgery. There’ll be  _ none _ of that until I’m satisfied you’ve healed up.” 

“But-“ 

“Nuh uh,” she shook her head, looking firmly at both of them with a giggling Rory behind her. “Now. Dean, it’s your turn. Come on.” 

Dean sighed and gave Cas an apologetic look as he pulled away and followed Missouri to an empty bed. She pulled the curtain closed and gestured for him to sit. He plopped down on the bed and blinked up at her as he leaned back on his hands. 

“I really do feel okay,” he grumbled. 

“Honey, does it look like I care about how you  _ think _ you feel?” She raised a brow, hands on her hips. 

Dean chewed on his lip. “No ma’am.” 

“Be good and let me look you over,” Missouri said, pulling on some gloves and taking a seat in front of him. Dean sighed and pulled off his shirt, laying it on the table behind him. 

Missouri inspected the bruises and scrapes on his torso gingerly and applied a set of butterfly bandages to a particularly deep cut, which luckily wasn't deep enough for stitches. She wrapped his bloodied hand in gauze, securing it with tape. 

“Now,” she clicked her tongue as she inspected the wound on his temple. “This the one I'm worried about. You having any nausea, dizziness?”

“Not today, no. A little last night.”

Missouri exhaled deeply. “You're lucky. This could've been really serious. What we need,” she projected loudly, looking over her shoulder at Cas’s curtain, “is another medic in this camp. An intern. Something.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean heard Cas mutter sardonically, sounding drowsy. Dean huffed a laugh. 

Missouri produced a small flashlight and had Dean look at her, then left, then right. 

“Any pain? Headache? Having trouble seeing?”

Dean shook his head. “All good.”

“Right. Well, unfortunately you'll need a couple stitches if you wanna avoid a nasty scar.” She cleaned the head wound meticulously, Dean hissing in pain when she hit tender spots with antiseptic. She stitched the wound quickly, a total of three stitches, then declared him well enough to leave. 

“I wanna see both you and Rory back tomorrow,” she said, her tone making it perfectly clear that no nonsense would be tolerated. 

“Yes ma'am.”

She eyed him for a moment before nodding, dismissing him with a wave of her hand. He sighed in relief and tugged on his shirt, grabbing the curtain to push it away.

“And Dean?” Missouri said behind him, “You pull a stupid stunt like running away again, and I’m comin’ after you myself.”

Dean gulped and nodded, quickly stepping through the curtain. He couldn’t decide who he was more afraid of- Missouri or Benny. 

He returned to Cas’s bed in time to see the Alpha starting to doze off and Rory clinging to his side. Dean thought maybe they should leave him alone now, but Rory looked comfortable and didn’t seem to be bother Cas any. So the Omega settled back into the chair and grabbed Cas’s hand, feeling a light squeeze in return. 

Dean leaned back and watched his two favorite people fall asleep. It was mostly quiet in the cabin, just a few coughs and moans from the other patients, and the occasional bark from Missouri when someone didn’t do as they were told. 

His eyes slid from Rory to Cas and back again until they finally settled on Cas. The Alpha was asleep now, snoring softly into Rory’s hair. He still looked exhausted, as if even forty straight hours of sleep wouldn’t help. Dean couldn’t imagine the kind of stress the whole incident caused. Not only did he go missing, but Rory as well, and in the middle of a winter storm. Dean was surprised Cas reached them when he did. He must have been hauling ass, even with the snow and wind slowing him down.

Dean bit his lip, trying to picture a wolf in place of the human form he saw now. He wondered...well, he wondered a lot of things. How did he shift? Did it hurt?  _ Why _ can he shift? Dean’s certainly never seen anyone else shift before and, yes, he’d spent most of his life hiding, but still. If there were Alphas out there that could really shift, he should’ve known it. Was it something you’re born with or...could it be taught?

Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes. Playing twenty questions with himself wasn’t going to get him any answers. When Cas was well enough, they’d have a long talk about all of this.

Rory sighed softly in her sleep and snuggled closer to Cas, reaching up to fist a hand in his hair. Cas’s hand in Dean’s squeezed reflexively, then relaxed again. Dean smiled softly, thinking back to his dream. 

_ ‘It's you now,”  _ she'd said, looking every bit as alive and beautiful as she had in the picture on Rory’s bedside table. 

Cas had taken care of Dean, was _ continuing _ to take care of Dean, since he'd come here. But now, Cas needed someone to take care of him. Rory needed someone to take care of her. And for the first time with confidence, Dean thought maybe  _ he  _ could be that person. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey listen, we're not doctors, and we didn't go to school for doctoring, so don't yell at us if what we wrote isn't TECHNICALLY possible, or whatever. Suspension of disbelief, my dudes.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One or two chapters left. We still don't know. The surprise is half the fun! :D
> 
> It's mostly smut and fluff tbh. It's sickening. You're welcome.
> 
> As always, thanks for all your comments and positivity, and we welcome more!

When Dean was next aware of anything, he was being shaken awake by Missouri. Dean blinked and straightened, yawning widely. He had no idea when he dozed off, but the sky outside was darkening.

“C’mon, sugar,” Missouri said gently. “It’s time to go before it gets too cold.”

Dean nodded and wordlessly picked up Rory, who mumbled in her sleep and snuggled into his chest. Cas was still out so Dean pressed a kiss to his forehead before carrying his pup through the snow and back to the Alpha’s cabin. To  _ their  _ cabin.

Dean smiled to himself at the thought of sharing a home with Cas and Rory as he walked through the door. Benny and Charlie were gone, but had left some dinner out for them. 

Dean bent over and nuzzled Rory’s ear. “You hungry?” he asked.

She shook her head sleepily. 

Dean chuckled and tucked her into her bed. She fell back asleep immediately, hugging his arm to her chest. The Omega was forced to crawl in next to her and held her close, purring gently until he fell asleep as well.

\-------

They got up early the next morning and immediately dressed to go see Cas. They stopped for breakfast and Missouri slipped them both a little extra eggs and sausage, both of them eating all of their respective helpings. 

Rory’s cough was a little persistent, but Dean resolved to keep an eye on in when Missouri told him it was probably nothing serious. She didn't appear  to have a fever and her appetite was obviously good, which helped Dean to relax a little. 

Cas was more awake when they got to him than he was the night before, but he was also in more pain. Rory immediately climbed up and Cas smiled at her, but Dean didn't miss the wince whenever she moved or curled onto him. 

“Not taking your pain medicine?” Dean chided, kissing him on the forehead. 

“Makes me sleepy. I wanted to see you.” Cas reached out to grab his wrist as he pulled away, bringing him back in to press their lips together. 

“That’s very irresponsible,” Dean said with a smile then lowered his voice. “And thank you.”

“Don’t need it anyway,” Cas said stubbornly with a nod.

“Mm hm,” Dean hummed. “So if I poke your side…?”

“Mean.” Cas pouted up at him and Dean chuckled, giving him another kiss then settling into his chair.

“You kiss a lot,” Rory stated loudly, causing Dean to blush. 

“Ah...well-”

“That’s because Dean is a very good kisser,” Cas said with a wink, grinning when Dean blushed even more.

“N-no, I’m just-”

“What did I say about kissy stuff?” Missouri’s voice called out. Dean flinched and sunk lower in his chair.

“Does she hear everything?” he whispered, looking over his shoulder, half expecting to see the woman standing over him.

“Yes,” Cas said definitively with a smile, chuckling at the echoing ‘yes’ from outside of the curtained area.

Dean sipped at the mug of coffee he brought from breakfast. “When can you come home?”

Cas shrugged. “Up to Missouri, I guess. If I had my way, I would’ve been in my bed yesterday.” He sighed and laid his head back against the pillow, looking over at Dean. “She’s got a laundry list of things she wants me to do before I leave. Eat solid food, unassisted walking, unassisted bathroom break. But even after I go home I’m going to have to be seen at least once a day, to check for infection and all that.”

Dean frowned, taking another sip of his coffee and tapping his finger against the side of the mug. It sounded like Cas would be here for a while longer. And when he  _ did _ get home, he would probably need some looking after. Which Dean felt confident he could do, but he hated the idea that his Alpha was stuck in this bed. 

“We will visit everyday until you’re home,” Dean said, reaching out to take Cas’s hand. 

“ _ All _ day,” Rory said with a smile. 

“Papa needs to rest, too,” Dean reminded her. “We can’t take up all his time.” 

“I’m gonna work on her, see if I can’t convince her to let me go home a little early if I promise to stay in bed,” Cas mused, looking up at the ceiling. “I miss my bed. I miss both of you. Drove me crazy last night, having to stay down here away from you, not knowing what was going on outside of this cabin. I’ll leave here healed but with high blood pressure from the stress.”

“I think you’re being a little dramatic,” Dean teased, squeezing his hand.

“Maybe.”

“Definitely,” Rory chimed in, nudging Cas gently with her elbow.

“Anyway,” Cas continued, “my joints are up there, and Missouri won’t let me smoke in here. And that’s one rule she won’t bend on.”

Dean rolled his eyes and quirked a smile. Leave it to Cas to be worried about his weed instead of the hole in his side. “She can’t have all that smoke in here,” Dean said, poking Cas’s cheek. “And make all her patients and staff  _ high _ .”

“Contact high is a myth,” Cas muttered, pouting slightly. “And in any case, it  _ could  _ help with the pain without making me unbearably sleepy. It’s  _ medicinal. _ ”

Dean chuckled. “You’ll just have to wait and smoke when you get home.” 

Rory grabbed Cas’s face and pulled him close, attempting to whisper but failing miserably. “I can sneak you one, Papa.”

“Uh,” Dean shook his head sternly when two pairs of blue eyes looked back at him, “no. Absolutely not.”

Cas let his head fall back to his pillow, chuckling. Now it was Rory’s turn to pout, poking out her bottom lip. “I wanna do something to  _ help. _ ”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Cas groaned as he pulled himself into a better sitting position. “You’re helping enough by coming to see me. Daddy’s just being dramatic. I can wait until I get home.”

Rory nodded and coughed, holding her hand politely over her mouth. 

“Rory,” Missouri’s voice came from nowhere again, then she pulled the curtain back and put her hands on her hips. “Come here with me. Let’s go get you some thyme tea for that cough.”

“Ugh,” Rory made a face, “but it tastes so  _ bad.” _

“I’m sorry,” Missouri looked at her incredulously, “but I don’t believe I gave you the option of saying no. C’mon.”

Rory grumbled but obeyed, and Missouri gave Cas and Dean a sly smile as she pulled the curtain closed behind them.

Dean immediately abandoned the chair and very carefully climbed in next to Cas, their lips finding each other in an hungry kiss. Dean was a little too enthusiastic and clacked their teeth together, pulling back to mumble an apology and kiss down Cas’s neck. 

“I missed you,” Dean purred, inhaling deeply at Cas’s pulse point then licking at it with a slight growl. “Don’t like you not home.” He grazed his fangs along the skin gently. “Not in your bed with me.” One of Cas’s hands fisted into the his shirt at the small of his back, pulling it up slightly to run his fingertips along warm skin. He hummed as he dipped his head to scent Dean’s neck, inhaling deeply. 

“Don’t like not being there,” he mumbled. “Though, in my condition, it’s probably for the best we don’t get any alone time yet.”

“Probably,” Dean agreed reluctantly, lifting his head to press another kiss to Cas’s lips. “But as soon as you’re better, Rory is spending the night at Charlie’s.” 

He pulled away to lay his head beside Cas’s, his hand resting on his chest and playing with the blanket. “How are you feeling? It looks like you’re hurting more today.” 

“I’m pretty sore,” Cas admitted reluctantly, “but I wanted to see you and Rory without feeling like I was going to pass out in the middle of our visit. I’ll take some when you leave, if it’ll make you feel better.”

Dean nodded. “I think it would.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company, their fingers laced together on Cas’s chest. 

“So…” Dean hummed, his eyes closed and nose pressed to Cas’s neck so he could breathe in that Alpha scent he loved so much. “You’re...a wolf.” He cracked an eye open and bit his lip. “Can I still call you Fluffy?” 

“Absolutely not.” Cas said firmly, but smiled at him. “If only I could have spoken then…”

“Not a fan?”

“Not at all.”

Dean huffed dramatically and propped his chin up on Cas’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I planned to,” Cas said slowly, lowering his voice, “but...well, first of all, you wouldn’t have believed me if I just... _ told  _ you. Second, not everyone knows, and I needed to make sure you were going to be staying before I told you. For my safety, yours, and everyone at this camp. And…” he chewed his lip, brow furrowing, “you just...you started  _ talking  _ to me. And it wasn’t right of me to deceive you that way, but it did start out as an honest accident...then I just couldn’t force myself to tell you. I was afraid you’d be angry for unknowingly sharing information with me, I was afraid you’d pull away, leave… I couldn’t stand the idea of that knowledge chasing you away.”

Dean nodded slowly, his eyes downcast as he processed everything-from the last few days to the last couple of months. He realized with a start that it really  _ had _ been a couple of months now since he got here. It seemed too short and too long, and he couldn’t recall that much time passing. 

“...I’m sorry,” Dean sighed, “I reacted badly. I was angry and embarrassed and...anyway, it doesn’t matter. I should’ve let you explain...we wouldn’t be in the mess if I had.” He took a breath and let it out slowly. “I...understand why you didn’t tell me at first. You still should have after we started...being together, but...I don’t wanna be mad about it anymore. And I don’t think I am.” 

“Well, even so, it would be understandable if you were,” Cas said softly, watching his fingers brush over Dean’s arm. “I’m sorry for deceiving you. It won’t happen again.”

“Good.”

“Is it excessive of me to thank you again for saving my daughter?”

Dean smiled and shrugged. “Once more couldn’t hurt.”

Cas pulled him in for a kiss in response, hands roaming again, and Dean half-expected Missouri to pop up again out of nowhere, all quippy remarks and hands on hips. Thankfully, the next few minutes were blissfully undisturbed.

“Honestly, I hardly did anything,” Dean mumbled when Cas finally let him breathe. “Was just trying to survive.”

“I know you think that, but you saved yourself and my daughter, the two most important people in my life. So I reserve the right to be insufferably and annoyingly thankful for that.”

Dean groaned and dropped his forehead to Cas’s chest, ignoring the deep chuckle from the Alpha and leaning into the fingers that started combing through his hair. 

“Dean took my spot.” 

Dean turned his head to see Rory scowling at him and poked his tongue out. Missouri clicked her tongue and eyed them both with fond amusement. 

“He sure did, baby,” she chuckled, then walked back out through the curtain. 

“I ain’t movin’,” Dean huffed. “It’s my turn.” 

Rory paused, looking for a moment like she may try to find her own way up on the bed despite the lack of space, but she moved to sit in Dean’s chair instead, kicking her feet off the side. 

“Mama, I’m hungry.”

Dean looked back at her with a frown. “We just ate.”

“I’m hungry again.”

“No use in arguing,” Cas chimed in, groaning as he adjusted himself in the bed. Dean watched him warily as he grimaced when he moved a certain way, and he laid a hand gently on Cas’s chest to keep him still. “She’s always hungry.”

Dean sighed inwardly. On one hand, Rory couldn’t help she had grown up in a prosperous camp and therefore had food on a regular basis whenever she wanted. On the other hand, Dean felt it may be time for her to learn that the food supply was not infinite. Dean knew this could just be his own experience of nearly starving his whole life influencing his opinion on the matter, but even so…

“You can have a snack,” Dean conceded. “To tide you over until lunch.” 

This seemed to satisfy her and she smiled. Dean carefully got up from the bed. He could probably send Rory to the kitchen herself, but he found it difficult to let her wander off alone. 

“We’ll be back,” Dean said, kissing Cas on the cheek and grabbing Rory’s hand. 

Rory left the kitchen munching on an apple, and they spent lunch in Cas’s room, where Missouri brought the three of them soup. They left again a few hours after, retreating back to the cabin on the hill and leaving Cas to rest. He seemed to be in even more pain and refused to take medication as long as they were there, so Dean decided to cut the visit shorter than originally planned. 

The next week dragged by slowly, Dean and Rory visiting Cas as often as possible. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with his inability to leave the medic cabin, actually making the attempt to leave himself early in the week, only to be caught and reprimanded by Missouri. 

The weather seemed to finally be breaking, the mounds of snow slowly melting. Spring would be there soon, giving them all a reprieve from the wet snow and the cold. Dean welcomed it and all the things he could look forward to in the warm weather at Eden. 

The camp was doing well despite Cas’s state, though, everyone doing their part to keep things running as usual. Benny stepped up and took charge in Cas’s absence, but it became obvious by the end of the week that everyone was missing Cas… the pups especially. 

No one was happier than Dean when Missouri finally let them know it was okay for Cas to go home, and Rory was so excited she barely slept the night before. The pup bounced all through breakfast, barely eating anything, until Dean finally sat her down and explained that even though Cas was coming home, he was still healing and shouldn’t be jostled too much. In other words, no climbing on papa.

Rory reluctantly agreed and together they walked to the medic clinic and stepped inside to see Missouri giving firm instructions to Cas about when to take his medicine and what activities he should avoid.

“That includes rolls in the hay,” she said with a raised brow. 

“Dean…” Rory whispered as they approached. “Does papa like to...roll in the hay? I’ve never seen him do that…” She tilted her head curiously, looking thoroughly perplexed.

Dean choked on a laugh and nodded his head. “Ah...yeah. Cas loves rolling in the hay. But it’s private. Not for kids.”

Rory clicked her tongue. “I’ll never understand you adults.”

“He ready for us?” Dean asked, looking over Cas carefully. 

Cas rolled his eyes, turning stiffly and bracing himself with a hand on Dean's shoulder. “Stop talking about me like I'm gonna break. I'll be fine.”

“I'll need to change the dressings first thing in the morning, but he should be fine tonight. Keep an eye out for signs of infection, swelling, fever.” Missouri patted him gently on the back. “Bed early. Take it easy.”

Missouri handed Dean all of Cas’s medication then the Omega wrapped an arm around Cas’s waist, supporting most of his weight as they made their way slowly towards home. Sometimes Dean still caught himself calling it Alpha’s cabin, but slowly he was replacing it with  _ home _ \- something that brought a smile to his face every time.

Once they were inside, Dean settled Cas onto the futon (who grumpily batted him away when Dean tried to arrange some pillows for him) and started up a pot of tea. True to her word, Rory did not climb onto her papa’s lap and instead sat beside him, albeit very closely.

“We got through the first  _ Harry Potter _ ,” she told Cas. “And Dean is practicing his ABCs.” 

Dean blushed as he got the fire going in the stove. “Rory, that’s...just-”

“He’s acts all embarrassed,” Rory sighed. “And I told him it’s okay he can’t read, but he won’t believe me.”

“It's perfectly okay,” Cas agreed with a nod. “But now he has you to teach him, and it sounds like you're both doing great.”

“I'm pretty proud,” she said, smiling up at Dean as he brought them both cups of tea and sat them on the table. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean grumped, sitting down next to Rory. “So, when we startin’ book number two?”

“Maybe tomorrow?” Rory looked up at him hopefully. 

“Sounds good.”

Cas sighed and pulled at his shirt. “Anything interesting happen while I was hibernating?”

“Rory hogs blankets.”

“Hey!”

Dean shrugged. “It’s true.” He chuckled as she grumbled and stuck her tongue out. “Nothing too exciting as far as I know,” he continued, blowing on his cup of tea. “I know Benny has put extra Betas on watch at night, in case anyone from that Alpha decides to come sniffing around for Michael…”

...who they would never find. Benny told Dean that they had burned the bodies after returning him and Cas to camp. There was nothing but ash buried in snow by now.

Cas tongued the inside of his cheek. “Well, good. I need to speak with him about organizing a group to go out looking for the camp. Gotta be some secret underground camp, or...maybe one of the camps I’m aware of running as a front for their operation…” 

“You can worry about it when you’re better.”

“Time is of the essence, Dean-”

“Cas, you’re a brilliant Alpha and camp leader and we all appreciate you, myself included, but right now I don’t want to think about you trying to unveil a secret Omega prostitution ring, okay? Benny is handling things and everyone here is safe, and you can worry about stirring up new trouble when you’re no longer held together by stitches.”

Cas quirked a smile. “Fine. Speaking of which…”

Dean rolled his eyes, hiding a smile as he put his tea on the table. He went to the cupboard in the corner without further prompting, pulling out Cas’s gold box and producing one of the tightly wrapped joints, taking it and matches back over to him.

Cas lit up and inhaled deeply, hanging his arm with the joint off the side of the couch. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back as he exhaled to the ceiling. Dean sat back down on the couch, sipping at his tea and half listening as Rory continued to detail the last few days to Cas, who simply nodded occasionally as he puffed slowly on his joint.

“Rory, take a breath,” Dean chuckled after a few minutes of nonstop chattering.

The pup blinked and breathed, then smiled bashfully up at Cas. “Sorry, papa,” she leaned on him, “just missed you, I guess.”

“Mmm,” Cas hummed, laying a hand on her head and stroking her hair. “I missed you too, angel.”

She leaned up and kissed his cheek then scampered off to her room. She left the door open and Dean saw her sit at her desk, humming and legs swinging as she started to draw. He noticed she was infinitely more relaxed now that her dad was home, happy just to have him nearby again.

Cas brought the joint to his lips, gently sliding a hand between the buttons on his shirt, over his stomach, where Dean knew one of the stab wounds to be. The other, less serious, was on his left side.

“How long til you can get those out?” Dean asked, his eyes flitting down to Cas’s stomach.

“Hopefully only another week,” Cas said tiredly, smoke billowing out of his nose. He grimaced as he pulled himself up, leaning forward and pulling Dean in by his neck for a kiss. “As long as there are no problems.”

“As long as you take it easy,” Dean reminded him gently, “there won’t be.”

He wordlessly accepted the joint when Cas handed it to him. Having only ever done this once before, Dean still coughed after a small inhale, but it was better than last time. He handed it back and leaned forward to rest against Cas’s shoulder.

“Actually kinda missed the smell,” he murmured, waving his arm at the thin layer of smoke. “With you being gone for a week, I couldn’t get used to not having it in the air.”

“Mmm.” Cas trailed fingers through Dean’s hair and down his neck. “I missed  _ your  _ scent. I was only getting whiffs every so often from your cabin down there, or where you’d visited me. Until yesterday, when I could smell you even from up here.” He raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be going back into heat, soon. Your scent is much stronger than normal.”

Dean nodded and sighed softly. “Yeah...I can feel it. A few days out, maybe.”

He chewed on his lip, his hand sliding over Cas’s thigh and along the seam of his worn jeans. “Cas, I...um,” he blew out a breath and glanced over at Rory, who was lost in her own little world at the moment. “I thought...a lot about things...this past week. Laid up most nights, thinking about...everything. Everything you’ve done for me and how I...feel about you.”

Dean licked his lips and grabbed Cas’s free hand, squeezing it and kissing his shoulder. “I love you, Cas. And I’ve known it for a while, I just...was stupid and scared. I think that’s why I got so angry. Kept wanting to tell you all this week, but I never had a moment…”

Cas looked at him for a long time, his eyes searching Dean’s face, the joint pinched between his thumb and forefinger, forgotten. Dean raised an eyebrow, and finally a slow smile spread across Cas’s face.

“Sorry, it’s just...been a long time since I’ve heard that from someone I didn’t make.” He huffed a laugh and looked over at Rory in her bedroom, coloring away and talking to herself. “And I understand, Dean. You had a right to be angry about what I did, and you had a right to be afraid. Just because you didn’t say it, doesn’t mean I didn’t feel it.”

He shifted slowly and pulled Dean to him, nuzzling the top of his head gently with his chin. “I love you very much, Dean.”

“I know, Cas,” Dean murmured, turning his head to nuzzle Cas’s neck. He spared a glance at Rory again and lowered his voice, glad Cas couldn’t see the blush rising on his cheeks.

“I...um, there’s something else…” he cleared his throat, fingers clutching at Cas’s shirt. “Like I said, I was thinking about stuff. And...you know, being in your bed...um, certain things came to mind.”

He felt Cas smirk into his hair. “Oh?”

Dean nodded. “And, uh, I think...well, I  _ know... _ that I’m ready...that I  _ want _ you to knot me.”

“Um,” Cas said hoarsely, swallowing hard, clutching the back of Dean’s shirt. “That, ah.” He cleared his throat and suddenly seemed to remember about the joint, raising it to his lips and taking a long hit. Dean pretended not to notice his hand shaking as he blew the smoke out of his nose. “I, um. Are you...sure?”

“Yes,” Dean whispered. “In some fucked up way, Michael put some things into perspective for me. What he did to me back then...what he tried to do again, it’s awful and...it messed me up. But I’m so tired of it haunting me. Controlling me. Here I am, with an amazing Alpha, who I want and who wants me...and I’m letting fear keep us from being together. And I’m not…” he snorted a humorless laugh, “not even scared of it anymore. Just scared of...crossing that threshold I guess, if that makes any sense.”

“As long as you know that it changes nothing,” Cas said sincerely, his hand traveling up and down Dean’s back. “I loved you before, and I’ll love you after, and that has no bearings on how I feel about you. So if you...don’t enjoy it, that’s okay.” Dean frowned up at him and Cas tilted his head back and forth. “I just mean...I don’t know. I’m...kind of nervous, honestly.”

“I know,” Dean said softly. “I am, too. I...I know I’ll like it. Love it, probably. Everything so far has felt...amazing. And it’s not just my stupid biology that wants it.  _ I _ want it. I  _ want _ my Alpha.”

He lifted his head and kissed Cas on the lips, tasting Alpha and weed and  _ Cas _ . He carded his fingers through Cas’s hair, tugging gently. Dean wished he could crawl into his lap, but not only was Cas still hurt, but their pup was in the next room.

Cas pulled him in for another kiss as soon as Dean began to pull away, tugging his lip between his teeth and smoothing it over with his tongue. Dean felt him wince when he moved a particular way, but he continued pulling Dean toward him despite that, his hands finding their way under his shirt.

“Cas, Missouri, she said-”

“I don’t give a damn what Missouri said,” Cas growled, capturing Dean’s lips with his own again, moving one of Dean’s hands up to his neck and letting his own slide down his arm. 

“Only sayin’ that ‘cause she’s not here,” Dean grumbled.

“Dean,  _ shut up _ and  _ kiss me _ . I’ve been cut open and stitched back together and everything hurts and you look incredible and smell amazing and all I want right now is for you to stop worrying about everything and kiss me.”

Dean couldn’t find it in him to argue. They hadn’t had a chance to be close since the incident, and Dean realized how much he missed kissing Cas. Their lips were chapped, and Cas couldn’t move much without wincing, but it was perfect. Dean gently fisted Cas’s hair, pulling him closer, barely stopping himself from straddling the Alpha’s lap. He sort of wished Rory was out with Charlie now, but it wasn’t like they could do much of anything anyway. As much as Cas fought it, he was still hurt and knotting would just have to wait. 

Not that the pain seemed to make a difference to Cas’s body, as he unintentionally demonstrated when Dean’s other hand slid up to palm his hardening cock. Dean imagined that he’d still be forced to deny the Alpha if they were alone in the cabin...for his health, this time, and not Dean’s fear.

“I’ll have to leave again,” Cas said somewhat breathlessly as Dean pulled away, “when you go into heat. I can just stay in your cabin for a few days. I just...really don’t want that to be the first time we…” he glanced over into Rory’s room, “you know. I want it to be a conscious decision, and not because you feel like you  _ need  _ to. You still may change your mind, you know, once we start. I don’t want you to not be able to say no.”

Dean sagged at the thought of having another heat without his Alpha. The truth of it was he didn’t want to go through it alone anymore. For once, he wanted to do what his body  _ needed _ him to do. 

“I guess...that makes sense,” he murmured, laying his forehead on Cas’s shoulder. He supposed the chances of Cas healing within the few days they had before his heat was minimal. 

“It's just… important to me,” Cas said slowly, handing the joint back to Dean, “that you make the decision for yourself, and not let your body dictate for you.”

“I know,” Dean said, inhaling slowly, smoke billowing out his nose. He chuffed and shook his head, handing it back. “You’re right, of course. I just…” he smiled and ducked his head, his ears burning. “I dunno. Now that I’m not afraid...I guess I’m a little impatient. Is that weird?”

“Impatient, huh?” Cas smiled and took the joint between his teeth, taking a long drag. “Not weird. I totally get that.” He chuckled to himself. “You needed time, and now that you don’t anymore my impairment is a particular nuisance to you.” 

“Well, now, that makes me sound insensitive.”

“Well,” Cas said quickly, groaning as he leaned up to ash the joint in the tray, “this isn’t gonna stop me from claiming you, anyway.”

“Might slow you down a bit,” Dean teased.

“ _ Mean _ ,” Cas emphasized, bringing the joint back to his lips and taking another drag. 

“Just tellin’ it like it is, old man,” Dean smirked, earning a gentle smack on his thigh. “I’m not your pup. You can’t spank me.”

Cas paused, smirking slowly and raising a brow. “Sure about that?”

Dean blinked, a blush creeping up his neck. He mumbled and stole the joint, taking a small drag. Cas groaned and he sank back down into the couch again, pulling irritably at his shirt. Dean held the joint between his fingers and gestured to Cas casually. 

“Why don’t you just take that off? Let me take a look at the injuries, at least.”

Cas sighed and began to undo the buttons with one hand, reaching out with the other as Dean handed him the joint back. He placed it between his lips and began using both hands to undo the buttons, dropping his hands to the side in frustration once it was completely undone. He held out a hand and Dean took it, helping him sit so he could shrug the shirt off his arms.

One of the wounds was practically directly under his sternum, and the other looking almost strategically placed between his ninth and tenth ribs. There was a normal amount of redness surrounding them, though the stitching looked grotesque and angry against the tan softness of Cas’s skin.

While Dean didn’t necessarily like that Cas was hurt, there was something about it that had Dean’s heart beating just a little faster. Cas had been...absolutely feral. Dean could still see it clearly in his mind’s eye. His wolf, giant and powerful, snarling and ripping into another, weaker Alpha. All strength and protectiveness, a true Alpha defending his mate. His pup. The wounds just showed how strong Cas was and how much he loved his Omega.

Dean reached out, but didn’t dare even brush his fingers across them. They didn’t look infected, but still painful. Aside from the horrible gashes, Cas was bruised up around his torso. Most had disappeared, the worst of them beginning to fade. 

“You were incredible, you know,” Dean said. “Watching you was amazing. I mean, I was fucking terrified, but...I... _ liked _ seeing you tear through him. I dunno if that’s bad or...I dunno. I just…God, I wanted him dead and if that makes me a bad person I don’t really care.”

Cas shook his head. “He deserved to die,” he said through clenched teeth, hitting the joint and passing it back to Dean as he attempted to get comfortable on the couch. He let the smoke out slowly and Dean watched it rise to the ceiling and dance around the wooden beams before disappearing completely.

“I know.”

“You’re not a bad person for thinking so,” Cas tacked on, and Dean nodded. 

“Yeah.”

“And you saved my daughter,” Cas said sincerely, and nodded to Rory’s bedroom, where she continued to play, blissfully unaware of their conversation. “And you made her feel safe and at home when we came back and I couldn’t be there for her…” he paused and chewed his lip, blue eyes flitting to Dean’s face. “ _ Our  _ daughter. You saved  _ our  _ daughter. You’re already a great mom, Dean.”

Dean breathed deep and nodded slowly with a smile. “Our daughter.” His smile widened and he slid his fingers up and down Cas’s arm, feeling the muscle just beneath the skin. “Not so hard...being a mom. She makes it easy. I mean, I’m sure we’ll have our tough moments, but...I guess I should say it’s not as scary as I thought it would be.”

He leaned forward and kissed the side of Cas’s neck, scenting him properly and shuddering when the smell of bonfire and pristine beach drenched his senses. “Mmm...I missed your smell. The cabin smells like you, but it’s nothing like when it’s coming from  _ you _ .”

Cas finally seemed to find a decently comfortable position and laid there, pulling Dean to him on the left side, away from the stab wound on his side. The arm around Dean came up to squeeze the back of his neck possessively, and Cas dipped his head to nose along his shoulder.

“I missed being here, I missed you...you scent, your blush…” Cas lowered his voice, “your taste.” He kissed Dean’s forehead. “Couldn’t get you out of my head. It was a miserable week...worse than actually being stabbed.” Dean snorted and Cas grinned, kissing him again on the nose.

“That makes two of us,” Dean said, wrinkling his nose. “Was always thinking about you. You’re not allowed to leave ever again.”

“Of course,” Cas said sagely, smoke billowing from his mouth after another drag. He offered it to Dean, who took it and inhaled fairly easily. He was getting better at it and the way it loosened him up was nice.

He handed it back and dropped his hand to trace the wolves on Cas’s chest, avoiding the wound. “Do I look or...smell different when you’re a wolf? Or does the world all look the same?”

Cas hit the joint one last time and tossed the roach in the ashtray, frowning as he considered it. “It’s often...more intense. Smells are the same, but my senses are sharper. I’m stronger, faster...only downside is the partial colorblindness.” He quirked a smile. “Doesn’t matter. You’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, either way.”

Dean clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, but didn’t bother to argue. He was getting used to the constant bombardment of compliments from Cas, even if he still felt undeserving of them.

“Jesus, I rubbed your belly,” Dean mumbled.

Cas laughed then groaned when it caused too much pain. “Yeah...you’re good at it.”

“Stop.”

“I was in heaven.”

“Cas…”

“Seriously talented belly-rubbing skills.”

“I’m leaving.”

Cas tightened his arm around Dean and kissed the top of his head. “No, you’re not. You’re staying right here.”

Dean huffed, but was smiling widely. “Fine. But you keep teasing and you’ll never get a belly rub again.”

Cas gave him that gummy grin he loved so much, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Howl you gonna treat me that way, Dean?”

“That’s it. Leaving.”

Dean actually moved to get up, but Cas laughed and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down and pressing their lips together, one hand coming up to cup Dean’s face. 

Dean would’ve told Cas how dorky he was, but the thought escaped him as their kiss deepened, and for a little while all he could think about was how good his Alpha tasted. 

He let out a breath when they pulled away and licked his lips, staring down at Cas with a faint smile. “Be honest. How often did you sneak over to my cabin while I was sleeping? I found paw prints almost every morning. I swear if you peed on my cabin I’m gonna tease you for the rest of your life.”

Cas shrugged, giving an annoyed huff, clearly in a mood that didn’t involve talking. “I patrol every night. The perimeter near the cabins, then the entire perimeter of the whole camp. The spot you snuck out of? I’ve been telling Benny it needed fixing for weeks.”

Dean laughed nervously. “Yeah, I think he felt bad about that...fixed it the day after your surgery.”

“Mmm,” Cas hummed as he pulled Dean down again, teeth scraping Dean’s lip and tongue teasing.

“Better quit that,” Dean whispered, their lips brushing together as he spoke. “You and I don’t have a great track record of keeping things pup friendly when we’re on this damn futon.” Almost every goodsexual experience he’s had was on the futon. Dean was starting to think Cas worked some voodoo on it. He would not be surprised.

Dean slid his hand up Cas’s side, kissing him again and pulling away when the Alpha tried to deepen it. Cas gave him the slightest of growls and Dean chuckled. “Pup,” he said, pointing to Rory, then gestured at the futon. “Not pup friendly.”

Cas closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the cushion. “When did you say Charlie was getting her again?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Great, so tonight I will have a relaxing and loving evening with my mate and our pup, and tomorrow you will not stop me when I try to kiss you?”

Dean shook his head. “You can ravage me to your heart’s content.”

Cas groaned and leaned up.

“Tomorrow.”

The Alpha sighed and plopped back down. Dean grinned down at him. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No,” Cas said, closing his eyes. “ _ You’re _ gorgeous and  _ mine _ , and it’s been a  _ week _ .”

“More than a week, actually.”

“ _ Dean _ .”

Dean bit his lip to fight back another laugh. “Told you I was annoying.”

Cas shrugged, looking unconcerned. “You’re a tease, is what you are.”

Dean smiled again. He couldn’t really argue with that.

\-------

“Ready to go, kiddo?”

Rory emerged from her room, pulling her ragged stocking cap over her long wavy hair. She plopped down beside the door to pull on her little purple snow boots, and Charlie helped her up when she was done.

“Run her by Missouri’s first, please,” Dean said politely, helping Rory into her jacket. “She wanted to see her about her cough, just to make sure everything’s gonna be okay or give her medicine if she needs it.”

“No problem.” Charlie handed Rory her gloves. She snapped her fingers and tapped her forehead. “Oh! Donna and Jody wanted me to tell you thank you, again, for Ezra. They said they hadn’t really seen you since Cas’s surgery, or gotten the chance to talk, so…”

Dean smiled softly, glancing back at Cas on the bed.

“How’s Ezra doing?” Cas asked tiredly.

“He’s good. Not even so much as a cough.”

“Good.”

“Be sure to let them know I’ll be down to see him as soon as I’m able to get down this hill on my own,” Cas said lightheartedly, and Charlie nodded.

“I will.”

Rory declared herself ready and Charlie laid a hand gently on Dean’s forearm. “Thank you, Dean. For both of them.” He smiled softly.

“Love you, mama,” Rory said as she hugged him around his legs, and he leaned down to give her a proper hug around her middle, smiling as he felt her arms wind around his neck.

“Love you, too, baby,” Dean said, kissing her cheek before he straightened. He waved to both of them as they left through the door and shut it behind them. He watched through the window as they wobbled down the hill, finding it weirdly difficult to let his pup out of his sight. Even if it was with a trusted friend. Well, Cas’s friend. Dean and Charlie were still a bit weird with each other, but things were getting better. She really wasn’t so bad.

Dean sighed and finally turned away, walking towards the bed and crawling in next to Cas. Alpha’s arms immediately pulled him close and Dean chuckled when he felt lips on his neck. He tilted his head, letting Cas scent him properly and loving that he could do this now without tensing with fear.

“The heat’s getting close,” Cas murmured against his skin. “Smell so good… even more incredible than usual. If I were to stay, I can see myself busting these stitches in a frenzy to get to you. Missouri would have a fit.”

“That’s a good point. My heats last long, too,” Dean hummed, closing his eyes and shivering as his mating gland tingled in response to the Alpha’s lips. “Not even sure you can keep up, old man.”

“I guess we'll see,” came Cas’s response, and his lack of joking manner wasn't even the biggest indication that the thought of mounting Dean during a heat thoroughly excited him. He stroked the side of Dean's face and pulled him in for a kiss, unhurried and gentle, licking into the seam of Dean’s lips. 

Dean opened up for him and sighed when Cas’s tongue met his, his fingers tangling in Alpha’s dark, crazy hair. It always looked windblown and now Dean understood why. Running around as a wolf must do that.

He still had so many questions about it, but that was for another time. They finally had some time to themselves. An entire day and night. No pups, no pack business. Just the two of them. 

Cas pulled back and pressed their foreheads tighter, sighing softly as his fingers found their way into Dean's hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Cas.”

Cas smiled, blue eyes shining. “Are you sure you're ready for this?”

Dean nodded, his heart skipping a beat, but not out of fear. He was nervous, which felt sort of juvenile, but he couldn’t help it. He had little skill when it came to this sort of stuff, plus he knew despite feeling ready he would tense up with that old fear that was so hard to shake.

“I’m sure, Cas,” he said firmly. “Look, I’m...I’m always gonna have these scars. I’ll probably never like my body because of them. But the memories...I can control that. And I don’t want them anymore. You can replace them. I  _ want _ you to replace them.” He looked down and shrugged shyly. “Not sayin’ this first time is gonna be easy for me, cause I don’t know. And your patience might be worn thin by the end of it, but I want to move on now. He’s dead… he’s gone. He can’t hurt me or any other Omega anymore.”

“I have no issue with going slow,” Cas said, holding a hand over where one of the wounds lay under his shirt. He huffed a humorless laugh. “Obviously. You know,” he added, pulling Dean's shirt gently over his head and tossing it to the side, running a finger along one of the scars that disappeared below his waistband. “Your scars make you beautiful, in a way. The inward and the outward… they're part of your journey, of what brought you to me. I love them, because I love you, and they're part of you. And Dean, I want… every part of you. Good and bad.”

Dean sighed, watching Cas trace along the jagged lines, his finger barely dipping below the waistband of his jeans.  He wasn’t sure he’d ever feel that way about his scars, even though what Cas said was true. Maybe, one day, in the far future he’d look at them and not see something ugly. For now, he was just happy Cas saw them as something else besides horrible reminders of what he’d endured.

“I want all of you, too,” Dean said sincerely, turning to Cas and smiling a bit shyly. He turned on his side, Cas’s fingers continuing their trail over his scars, and laid his hand on Cas’s chest. “Including the things you think might scare me.”

Cas glanced at him, eyebrows raised. 

“You...um, you said before…” Dean started, looking down at the bed, “That there are...things you want to do to me. Things that might...scare me. I’m kind of curious about what those things may be. I promise not to run for the hills.”

Cas smiled and hummed, his fingers working their way through Dean's hair. “So you're asking me to talk dirty to you?”

Dean blushed and looked away, shrugging. “Maybe a little.”

“Well…” he grabbed Dean’s wrist and pulled him down to the bed, pushing him flat on his back. He grunted as he shifted to his knees and hovered over Dean, dipping his head to scent his neck, his nose running along the curve to his shoulder. “The dreams I've had of you… they're never the same. Sometimes things are soft, slow, gentle. Sometimes… not as much.”

“Mmm,” Dean shivered and let himself wonder about the ‘not as much’. Cas was an Alpha and therefore rougher in nature than Dean. Though an Omega’s body was designed to stretch and accommodate an Alpha, Dean’s scars both inside and out proved there was a limit. He knew Cas wasn’t talking about something as monstrous as that, of course, but he could see why Cas would hesitate bringing it up. 

“Slow and gentle we’ve done,” Dean said, carding his fingers through Cas’s hair. “I like that very much. I like that you can be gentle with me. But I also know you’re Alpha...and a wolf, and you have...rougher tendencies. I want to know about the not-so-gentle things you’ve dreamt.” 

“I see,” Cas mused, pressing his lips to Dean’s collarbone, moving down an inch, another kiss, and so on until he reached his waistband. He looked up at Dean as he unbuttoned his pants, trailing his tongue down his happy trail. “Well...they usually start the same way...with you…” he unzipped his pants, and Dean lifted his hips so he could pull them down to his knees, “ _ presenting  _ yourself to me.” He mouthed along Dean’s rapidly hardening cock through his boxers. “That pretty hole open and wet for me, just  _ aching  _ for me to fill you up. Sometimes…” he walked his fingers back up to the waistband of Dean’s boxers, tugging them gently, “sometimes you beg me. Sometimes you plead for your Alpha.”

“ _ Oh… _ ” Dean gasped and bucked, his blood quickly pooling down and his slick gland pulsing inside. He wasn’t sure what was getting him going more, Cas’s mouth or his words. He’d sort of presented once, but it had been dark and bit rushed. With Rory in the next room, they hadn’t been able to to savor the moment. 

He swallowed and lifted his hips as Cas tugged his boxers down, and a second later both boxers and jeans were gone. Dean felt especially naked with the sunlight streaming through the window, showing absolutely  _ everything _ . Every other time they did things like this, it had been dark and his body partially hidden under shadow. 

Dean looked up at Cas shyly and he clenched his hands to hide the trembling. “Tell me more,” he whispered. “What...what else did I do?”

“You loved it when I pushed inside, filled you up,” Cas murmured as he shifted lower on the bed, pressing his lips to Dean’s ankle and moving up, hands roaming. “You made such pretty sounds for me.” Cas rested on his knees again, supporting himself with Dean’s knee as he pressed a kiss there too. “Once you smelled so good, I barely got you in the door before I took you up against the wall.”

Dean closed his eyes and could easily picture it. He could almost feel the rough wood of the wall on his back, Cas’s eyes black and his fangs poking out from his lips. He could feel them grazing his neck and Dean reacted to the phantom touch, arching his neck and groaning softly. 

“I...like that idea,” he breathed, opening his eyes. “Maybe...um, against the kitchen counter, too.” He shuddered and lifted his hips slightly. “Or...against our tree...you know, when it’s not freezing.”

“You plan on being quite insatiable, then?” Cas chuckled as he kissed his way down Dean’s thigh, slowly lowering himself to his stomach with a small wince. “Believe me, Dean...when you’re ready, I’m going to claim you all over this compound.” 

Dean sucked in a breath and shuddered again, looking down between his legs as Cas reached his pelvis, pressing kisses over into his pubic hair. Cas lowered his forehead for a moment and hummed. “ _ God _ , you smell so good. You getting nice and wet for me, Omega?”

Dean blushed deeply and some slick trickled out in response, working to soak the sheets between his thighs. “Y-yes,” he stuttered out and realized very quickly he wasn’t too good at this dirty talk stuff. Cas seemed good enough for the both of them, though. 

His passage throbbed and he could feel the walls loosening, stretching.  _ Jesus _ , he was so ready and they’d barely started. His body ached for Cas, so hungry for his knot, for him. Dean whimpered and decided to fulfill part of Cas’s dream. He turned over onto his stomach and lifted his hips on his knees, spreading his thighs and clawing at the bed as his hole twitched.

He heard Cas’s intake of breath behind him, felt his hands immediately caress the outside of his thighs, fingers pressing into the meat. He pulled them away again as he repositioned himself, then they were on his ass, then sliding up his back.

“My god, you’re gorgeous,” Cas whispered, so quiet it almost sounded like he was talking to himself. 

Dean jumped slightly when Cas started kissing him again, first as far as he could reach up his back, and Dean vaguely realized at some point Cas had removed his shirt because he could feel the stitches scratching his skin. He kissed all the way down his back, then trailed his tongue between his cheeks, laving it across his rim.

Dean embarrassed himself with a loud groan and buried his face into a pillow, rocking his hips back. He’d never get over the feeling of Cas’s tongue on his hole. 

“Cas,” he gasped when said tongue slipped inside. Dean’s slick ran down his trembling thighs and his hole convulsed around the wet tongue. “Cas,” he said again, lifting his head to suck in a breath, “ _ God _ . That’s... _ fuck _ , that’s good...”

Cas ran his tongue around his rim again, slowly pushing in a finger to the second knuckle, followed by his tongue. Dean groaned and arched, his cock hard between his legs. He rocked back and Cas pushed a second finger in, causing his hole to clench around them. He felt Cas’s tongue disappear and then Cas was kissing him again, steadily rocking his fingers in and out.

“So beautiful like this, Dean,  _ presenting  _ yourself for me,” Cas said lowly, crooking his fingers downward and brushing his prostate. 

Dean hid his face in the pillow again, because he was too  _ naked _ and vulnerable to hear something like that. He groaned when Cas pressed against that spot again, his hips rolling back and his back arching prettily. A smooth curve ending with his ass pushed back for his Alpha.

He whimpered, his heart in his throat. Fingers weren’t new, but what they were leading to was. He wasn’t afraid, he really  _ wasn’t _ , but he was...anxious. The fear was in the background, threatening to ruin everything if he even gave it so much as a thought. 

“T-tell me more,” Dean gasped, grasping for something to focus on. “What else do you want to do to me, Alpha?”

Cas laid a hand on his shoulder and ran it gently back down his side, stretching him with his fingers. 

“I want to knot you, sweet Omega,” he purred softly, “mate you. Fill you up, make you mine.” He slid his fingers almost all the way out before pushing them back in, prodding his prostate. His other hand slid from his back around to his stomach. “Wanna feel me inside you, feel how full you are.” The hand traveled lower, stroking his cock. 

“Mmnng,” Dean groaned into his pillow, his hole fluttering wildly, his body pulsing with  _ knotknotknot _ pounding in his head. He wondered what it would be like during his heat, when he was unbridled and foggy, and he had a wild Alpha in rut mounting him. The thought was a little scary, but in a good way. Even in rut, Dean trusted Cas. 

“Yes,” he husked out, his cock twitching in Cas’s hand. “Wanna feel you. Inside. Make me forget, make those memories go away.”

“Dean,” Cas said softly, stopping his ministrations. “On your back, sweetheart. Wanna look at you. Want you to control me, okay?”

Dean nodded and carefully flipped onto his back so he wouldn’t bump into Cas’s stitches. He stared up at his Alpha, breathing shakily, a knee bending as he spread his legs. The chain around his neck pulled slightly as the bullet rolled over his shoulder. 

Cas pressed his lips together and balanced a little shakily on his knees as he fumbled with his pants, finally getting them unbuttoned. He grimaced and stood slowly, pulling them down and stepping out of them, then settled back on the bed between Dean’s legs. Holding Dean’s thigh with one hand, Cas took his cock with the other, stroking the shaft and running his thumb over the slick velvety head.

Dean’s mouth went dry and he stared at that the thick cock hanging between Cas’s legs, pulse hammering. His body clenched, yearned, his scent flaring to beckon that Alpha inside. Cas’s reaction was instant. He groaned, eyes darkening and fangs lengthening, his cock twitching in his hand.

Dean tried to wet his lips, but his tongue felt dry. Panic threatened to spill over, his skin breaking out into a sweat. His fingers twitched and his claws poked through the sheets as he fisted them. He stuttered as he fought fear with lust, want, trust, love. This wasn’t Michael. This was Cas, who was being very patient, hovering over him, soft hand squeezing his thigh. 

Dean realized his eyes were closed and he snapped them open, blinking up at Cas and subtly lifting his hips with a small nod. “S-slowly…”

Cas’s hand dipped lower and disappeared between Dean’s legs, fingers brushing over his hole, gathering slick, which Cas used to coat his own cock. He held himself at the base, looking up at Dean with dark eyes, hair wild and mouth hanging open. His features softened slightly and he licked his lips.

“Are you sure?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Dean growled, rolling his hips up desperately. “Please, Cas, I can’t-I’m barely-just please, or I won’t be able to-”

Cas hooked his arms around Dean’s thighs and winced as he pulled him closer, angling his ass higher and pushing one of their pillows under his lower back. He guided Dean’s legs up to wrap around his waist, then slid one hand up to cup one of his ass cheeks while the other gripped the base of his own cock. He teased Dean’s rim with the head, rubbing it slowly between his cheeks, causing him to gush more slick, coating the head.

“Look at me, Dean,” Cas said softly, and when Dean opened his eyes Cas pushed inside, stretching Dean wide around him. 

Dean’s head fell back against the pillow and he hissed through his teeth, as if expecting pain, though there was none. His claws tore through the sheets and his whole body jerked back, a reaction so instant that Dean had absolutely no control over it. Cas almost slid out completely and held his hips gently, not forceful, a mere suggestion for Dean to stay still. A growl threatened to rip out of Dean’s chest and he swallowed it, his passage clenching tightly around Cas as he tensed from head to toe. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he fought to get back in control, blinking back those horrible memories and focusing on the pretty blue worriedly staring down at him.

Cas swallowed hard and stilled, thumbs rubbing gentle circles in his hips. “Dean, we can stop.”

“ _ Shut up, Cas _ ,” Dean huffed through clenched teeth, his hips jerking. His body couldn’t decided if it wanted to grind down or pull away. 

Cas took a deep breath and let it out, fingers pressing lightly into Dean’s thighs as he pushed forward again, sliding a few more inches inside. He paused, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, then let out another breath. He slid a hand around to Dean’s stomach and rested it there, looking up at Dean through his lashes.

Dean took steadying breaths, looking down the length of his body. Cas felt  _ big _ . Long. His slick gushed like crazy, making his passage soaking wet and every little movement caused a squelching sound.

Finally, when his thoughts quieted and Dean could focus on the feeling of Cas inside, he arched experimentally. The movement pushed his hips forward and his hole swallowed Cas up greedily. A hand shot out to grip Cas’s arm, squeezing it as Dean sucked in another breath. 

“Oh...that’s- _ Cas _ -”

Cas turned his arm over and pulled it back, taking Dean’s hand in his. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in again, bottoming out and stilling his hips. He groaned, his head falling back and mouth hanging open.

“Feel so good, Omega. So beautiful, my Omega, my  _ mate _ …”

“Cas, I- you feel  _ so- _ oh my  _ God _ ,” Dean rambled, fingers digging into Cas’s hand as he rolled his hips. He moaned immediately as Cas’s cock grazed and dragged against his walls, his passage fluttering and clenching enthusiastically. “Alpha, it’s so good…. _ nnnggh _ you feel so good.”

“Oh,  _ fuck,”  _ Cas moaned, bracing himself on either side of Dean's body and throwing his weight into the next snap of his hips. Dean arched up into it, breath hitching when he felt Cas’s balls pressed snugly against his ass. Cas set a slow pace, his knot beginning to swell and barely catching on his rim. 

Dean clung to his back, careful of his claws that didn’t seem to get the memo that Cas wasn’t a threat. Each thrust was long, slow, Alpha’s cock dragging and sliding. Dean couldn’t form words anymore and simply panted into Cas’s neck, his leg squeezing around Cas’s waist. Each nudge at his rim from the swelling knot was like a spark, his breath hitching, his slick pumping out in copious amounts. The sound alone was enough to make Dean’s ears burn and his face flush, which he hid as he scented along Cas’s neck, dragging in his smell in gulps. 

Dean shyly thrust up as Cas snapped forward, making them both groan. Dean’s head fell back and he did it again, meeting each slow thrust with one of his own. They rocked gently, which Dean appreciated. He knew, of course, that it mostly because Cas couldn’t move any faster. But he also knew that even if Cas wasn’t injured, he would have gone slow this first time. 

“Dean, look at me.”

Dean brought a hand up to tangle Cas’s hair, pulling back to meet blue eyes almost completely shrouded with black. Cas watched him as he thrust deeply, pitching forward enough to press their lips together. Cas’s lips swallowed up Dean’s groan as he felt the Alpha’s swelling knot tug at his rim. 

Dean arched below him, trying desperately to get Cas deeper, clenching every time that knot caught on his rim. It was incredible finally having his Alpha inside, feeling that knot swell with each thrust, anticipating when it would eventually catch. 

They broke only for a second to breathe before diving back in, the time for words gone. They both knew what this all meant, how lucky they were to have found each other, how much Dean trusted Cas to let the Alpha inside. To let him place his weight over Dean, gently holding him down while he pushed in and out, stretching and filling with precise, slow movements.

Cas pressed his body flush against Dean's and boxed his head with his arms, reaching down to brush his fingertips over his mating gland. It tingled intensely and sent a jolt of pleasure straight down to his cock, causing precum to gather at the head and press against their stomachs. 

He thrust deep again, the knot making an audible sound as he pushed it past Dean's rim. Cas pulled up again and braced himself with his hands, looking down at Dean with hooded eyes, sweat beaded across his forehead. 

“ _ Dean” _ he rasped, “I'm...I-”

Dean opened his mouth, not sure what he was going to say, when the knot suddenly caught, the swelling pressing and stretching his walls. Dean gasped and arched clear off the bed, his body spasming as pleasure shot through him from finally having a knot pulsing in his channel. He was coming seconds later, his cock spilling between them as he rode it out, breathing Cas’s name. 

“ _ Oh, fuck,  _ sweet Omega,” Cas gasped as his second orgasm took hold, his cock pulsing more precious seed into Dean's body. “ _ Jesus, Dean... _ my sweet boy…”

Dean gripped Cas’s wrists as he felt himself be filled, one hand sliding up to fist into Cas’s hair and pull him in for a sloppy kiss, all tongues and teeth. Dean tried not to be too proud of the fact that Cas was panting roughly into his mouth, barely in control of himself. 

Dean moaned into the kiss, rocking up and rotating his hips to rub at the knot locked inside. Cas whimpered and thrust, a small jab that pitched them both forward and hit Dean’s prostate. He groaned and swiveled his hips again, sliding that knot across his walls and shuddering when it pulsed, filling him up with even more of that warm seed his body was so hungry for. His channel clenched and fluttered, milking Cas for every drop, their bodies locked together as his Alpha continued to spill steadily inside him.

Cas came down from his third orgasm panting, the blacks of his eyes shrinking as he looked down at Dean. He took a deep breath and winced as he pulled back, tapping the outside of Dean’s thigh gently, helping him move his leg around Cas’s body and lie on his side without pulling at the knot that tied them together. 

Cas all but collapsed behind him, wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close. He nuzzled against his nape and kissed the crook of his neck, leaving his lips pressed against sweaty skin. 

Dean panted into the pillow and closed his eyes, his purr loud and unceasing. He held onto Cas’s arm, squeezing and releasing as he dragged in every breath. He took a moment to relish, to feel every inch of his Alpha pressed up against and every inch still twitching inside him. He felt unbelievably safe, loved, with his Alpha’s breath puffing against his neck and those strong arms squeezing him possessively. 

This is the part he’d been looking forward to the most. It had been hell being locked beneath Michael, his rotten smell invading his nostrils and disgusting cock pumping him full while Dean had bled onto the forest floor. This, though...this was heaven. Cas’s scent was intoxicating: happy and satisfied Alpha. And Dean loved the way their bodies locked together, everything fitting perfectly. 

“Are you okay?” Cas asked softly, brushing fingertips over Dean's neck and back down his side. Dean purred and hummed, rubbing his face against the pillow and smiling. He reached an arm back and pulled Cas to him, pressing his fingers into the meat of his ass.

Cas trailed his tongue across his shoulder and kissed the crook of his neck again, then pressed his forehead against his back. He moved his hand up Dean’s chest and splayed his fingers across his neck, mumbling softly into his back. 

“Tell me what you're thinking.” 

Dean hummed and pressed back against him, wanting to be closer even if it wasn’t possible. “I’m thinkin’...” he said softly, “that I love you. That you make me feel... _ safe _ . That I want to be like this, with you, all the time.” Dean turned his head to look back at Cas. “That this was perfect and you were...amazing.”

“I love you too,” Cas murmured after a moment, smiling and pressing a lingering kiss to Dean's lips. “I'm not going anywhere. We can be like this as long as you'll have me.”

Dean smiled and settled back on his pillow, their mixing scents saturating the air and utterly relaxing him, lulling him into a foggy state. He was aware of nothing but Cas, his scent, his skin, and his grumbling purr that vibrated against his back. 

A long while later, Cas’s knot finally softened and his Alpha gently pulled out. Dean twitched at the odd sensation and immediately felt the loss of not having Cas inside. It did, however, allow him to turn and face Cas. He grinned at him and kissed him hungrily, hands in Cas’s fucked out hair as their tongues tangled.

“Hi,” he murmured when they broke.

Cas chuckled against his lips. “Hello, Dean.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smutty/fluffy goodness. Another short chapter.  
> The next one is around 14k, and I'll have it out in the next couple of days.
> 
> One chapter to go, my lovelies. Chapter 18 will be the final chapter.  
> It's been a wild ride, you guys.

Dean smiled and hummed again, smoothing some of Cas’s hair down between his fingers. Cas reached up to cup his cheek, brushing his thumb across his lips. 

“If you still want me to go during your heat, I can,” Cas said gently. “Might be better for me to, until you're… ready for that.”

Dean pressed his lips together and looked down briefly, fingers tightening in Cas’s hair before he looked back up. “You...might be right. But...I don’t want to go through another heat by myself. Frankly, I don’t think I can. I know we aren’t technically mated, but our bodies think we are. Without you...without my Alpha there, I may not make it.” Dean slid his hand down Cas’s neck, feeling his pulse underneath his fingers. “I used to not care if I lived or died, but now…” he shook his head. “Mostly, though, I just  _ want _ you there. You don’t scare me, and I  _ know _ you won’t hurt me.” Dean licked his lips and pressed a kiss to Cas’s, and they breathed each other’s air when he pulled away enough to speak. “I’m not stupid. You’ll go into rut and I know it will get...um, rough. But I’m your Omega and I want you there.”

Cas pressed his lips together but nodded, flattening his hand against Dean's back. He looked at him a long time, eyes searching his face. “I guess I should probably have Missouri on standby.”

Dean huffed a laugh and looked down between them, pushing Cas’s chest gently so he could take a look at his wounds. “Yeah. Be a shame if you started bleeding all over me.”

“One could potentially get the wrong idea.”

Dean laughed again. “We wouldn't want that.”

Cas raised his eyebrows. “When it comes to you? Missouri would kill me if she even  _ thought _ I'd done anything… _ untoward _ to you.”

Dean snorted and shook his head. “I don’t think you’re capable of that. As far as Alphas go, you’re like...a marshmallow. Too soft to do something  _ untoward _ .”

Cas made an offended noise. “I’m a  _ marshmallow _ ?”

“A big one,” Dean said with a smile.

“I’m  _ not _ soft,” Cas insisted stubbornly. 

“Of course not,” Dean said soothingly, patting Cas’s chest.

Cas grinned widely, his eyes crinkling in the corners the way Dean loved so much. His smile faded slowly as he brushed fingers across Dean's cheek, his lips, and back up and around to the back of his head. He pulled him forward to press their lips together, soft at first, then slowly deepening. 

He pressed their foreheads together when he pulled away, closing his eyes and swallowing hard, the hand on his head sliding down to the skin over the tingling mating gland. “Dean, I… when we… do this again… I want to make you mine. Officially.” He opened his eyes again, looking up at Dean. “Is that… okay?”

Dean covered that hand with his own and nodded, the tingling on his mating gland intensifying. “That’s...what I want,” he murmured. “I want to wear your mark. Want everyone to know who I belong to.”

Dean brushed his other hand over Cas’s shoulder, squeezing where his fangs would sink in, beside Ysabella’s bite. “And I want my mark on you.” It was possessive of him, of an Omega, to want such a thing. It was bound to happen during the mating process, but it was more of an Alpha instinct. Omegas marked mostly out of response. Dean wanted that, though. He wanted Cas to himself and wanted everyone to know the Alpha was his.

Cas took Dean’s hand and moved it to the spot between his neck and shoulder, the mirroring spot to his mating gland. 

“Here,” Cas said, pressing their hands to the spot. “Where everyone can see that I’m yours.” 

Dean’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open briefly before he snapped it shut. That strange, unOmega-like possessiveness flared and his hand clenched, squeezing the spot as he nodded slowly. 

“Okay,” he said gruffly. “Right here.” It was an abnormal spot for an Omega’s mark, but they weren’t exactly a normal mating pair. 

Cas hummed and dropped his hand back to Dean’s torso, sliding it down and across his belly. He nosed along Dean’s shoulder again, and Dean lifted his head to let Cas scent his neck, licking and sucking at the mating gland.

“Have I ever told you how lucky I feel that you found us?” Cas murmured against his skin, his hand dropping again to Dean’s side.

“Not recently, no,” Dean smiled, shivering when Cas’s fang scraped against his gland. He dipped his head and sucked at the same spot on Cas’s neck, his lips twitching with the need to mark his mate. Not yet, though. He’d wait until his heat, when their scents were at their most potent. “Probably been at least an hour...maybe even two since you’ve told me.”

Cas clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “And here I was afraid you’d forgotten.” He huffed a laugh and leaned in, nipping at Dean’s top lip. “Really, though. You came here and I know you didn’t expect any of this, didn’t ask for a mate or a pup and now you...I mean, you kind of have both, and...you’ve just handled it really gracefully. You’re amazing. I’m proud of you.” He paused, taking Dean’s hand in his again and holding them to his chest, looking down at them. “I love you, very much.”

“Oh, good,” Dean chuckled, pressing his forehead just under Cas’s chin to snuggle close. “It had been almost ten minutes since you said that. I was beginning to think you didn’t love me anymore.”

“You’re hilarious, Omega.”

Dean smiled, feeling so light and happy he could float away at any moment. “I love you, too,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to Cas’s throat. “I don’t know if I’m amazing as you think I am, but...even if I didn’t ask for any of this, I’m happy I got it.”

Cas laced their fingers together and squeezed. “Well. As much as I love seeing you this way, I should probably clean you up. Stay right here, baby.”

Dean frowned as Cas rolled to the side of the bed and sat up slowly, clutching his stomach. He managed to get to his feet with little more than a groan, disappearing into the bathroom and returning a moment later with a damp cloth. Dean watched him as he leaned over to clean his stomach, eyebrows knit together in concentration, hair still sticking up all over his head.

He took a moment to inspect Cas’s stitches and was relieved to see that nothing seemed out of place. He hated the way those stitched marred Alpha’s skin, looking ugly and painful, but they were a small price to pay considering how those events could have gone.

Dean’s eyes moved up to admire the marks not left by Michael, but by Dean himself. He particularly liked the swollen lips and the light scratches across the shoulders that Dean hadn’t realized he’d left. 

He blinked when Cas pulled away, his stomach cleaned, and dipped onto the bed to start in on his inner thighs. Dean helped by spreading his legs, feeling a light blush on his cheeks when some leftover slick trickled out.

“Are you in pain at all?” Cas asked as he moved the towel over his skin. When he finished, he looked up at Dean as he folded the towel and began to wipe himself off.

“No,” Dean said sincerely, laying a hand across his stomach. “No, I...feel really good, actually.”

“And you’d tell me if something was wrong, or something hurt?” Cas paused and pressed his lips together, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course, Cas,” Dean said softly, fingers sliding up and down his skin. “I promise, okay? Nothing hurts. I feel…” he blew out a breath and smiled, “ _ really _ good.”

Cas still looked unconvinced and seemed to inspect Dean from head to toe. Dean sighed and nudged him with a foot.

“Do I need to do some jumping jacks to prove it?”

“No. You need to relax.”

Cas threw the towel back into the bathroom and settled back down onto the bed, pulling Dean to him. Dean shifted gingerly, laying his head on Cas’s chest and his hand below his sternum, avoiding the stitches. He traced around them with a finger, making a wide circle.

“Did you know he had the knife?” Dean asked, suddenly curious.

“I knew there was a good chance.”

“And you...attacked him the way you did anyway.” Dean clicked his tongue in disapproval.

Cas stared at him, frowning. “He threatened my pup and my mate. Of course I did. A weapon wasn’t going to stop me from killing him.”

Dean’s lips formed a hard line and his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s just...if he’d moved that knife even a little-”

“Dean.”

He swallowed and looked up after realizing he’d been staring at the stitches. Cas cupped his face, thumbs moving over his cheeks.

“ _ Nothing _ would ever stop me from protecting you and Rory,” Cas said firmly. “It didn’t matter to me if he had a weapon or not. I wasn’t going to stop.”

“But you could've died, Cas.”

“And if I'd done nothing, you both would've died. That's all the justification I needed.”

Dean sighed, defeated, and chalked it up to Alpha mentality. “Yeah, well. I don't want to see you do that again.”

“Yeah, well. Don't get yourselves into trouble,” Cas snarked back. 

Dean pouted, but couldn’t really argue with him there. What he’d done was stupid and dangerous, but emotions were like that sometimes. He huffed and moved forward, attaching his mouth to Cas’s collarbone and sucking gently. His arms circled around Cas’s waist and hugged him close, bringing their bodies together.

“You’re not gonna distract me with sex,” Cas muttered unconvincingly, his fingers pressed into Dean’s side. 

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Dean shrugged, working his way down, gently kissing around the wound on the sternum. 

“Don’t you?” Cas moved his hand up to Dean’s arm, squeezing lightly. “You won’t distract me that easily, Dean. We still have to talk about that.”

“Mhmm,” Dean hummed against Cas’s skin, kissing down to Cas’s navel and trailing his tongue down his happy trail.

Cas arched slightly and groaned softly, shifting his hips. “I mean it. What you did was reckless and you could’ve died, if not by Michael’s hand then by the weather alone. You were careless with yourself. And Rory is a strong-willed child, Dean, who looks up to you. And you-” his breath hitched when Dean licked at the head of his cock, grunting as his hips involuntarily canted upward. “You should’ve known she’d f-follow you. She loves you, so much-”

Dean swallowed him down and thoroughly derailed whatever train of thought Cas had going. The Alpha swore and bucked, sliding his cock in deeper while Dean hummed in triumph. The noise sent vibrations through Cas and his cock twitched inside Dean’s mouth. 

He pulled back a little and flicked his tongue against the slit, tasting pre-cum. Dean purred around the thick girth and swallowed him again, the head brushing the back of this throat before he pulled back once again. 

Cas jerked his body so hard he hissed, laying a hand over the stitching on his chest. Dean looked up at him through his lashes as he slid down again, and Cas watched him with his tongue pressed against his top teeth.

“Omega,” Cas warned, groaning and letting his head fall back when Dean’s tongue laved over the vein on the underside of his cock. They both knew despite the warning, Cas wasn’t really able to _ do _ anything. Dean could think of a million things he’d be afraid of the Alpha doing to him if he was able, but for now they were physical impossibilities. Not that Dean wasn’t beginning to relish the idea of Cas, of  _ his _ Alpha, asserting his dominance over him. At his very core Cas was a gentle soul, but he knew well now of his wild side too. Dean was both nervous and excited to experience it.

And so maybe Dean was a little guilty of pushing Alpha towards that wilder side, smart or not of him to do so, but he couldn’t really help himself. Cas was kind of fun to poke since he  _ was _ so calm and gentle most of the time. Dean wanted to find his buttons and see what made the Alpha tick. 

Dean purred again and scraped the bottom row of his teeth up Cas’s cock, catching more pre-cum on his tongue and swallowing it down. Alpha’s taste was amazing, sliding down his throat easily, but the little drops he was getting wasn’t enough to sate his hunger. Dean wanted more. 

He took a deep breath through his nose and sank down a little more, carefully so as not to choke, and worked the leaking head deeper into his throat.

“ _ Oh, f- Dean,”  _ Cas ground out, a hand coming up to work fingers through Dean's hair. Dean watched his chest rise and fall, his eyes wild. 

Dean closed his eyes and bobbed his head and Cas sucked in a breath, letting it out in a huff. It was a powerful feeling, knowing he could make his Alpha come apart like this. With a just few licks, some caressing and swallowing, Cas turned into a wild mess, and Dean enjoyed being the one to cause it. 

The Omega purred louder, his throat vibrating, and wrapped his fingers around the forming knot at the base. He squeezed, rolling his thumbs gently on the swelling bulge. Cas tossed his head back, mouth hanging open and his fangs glinting. Dean hummed and used his other hand to cup Alpha’s heavy sac, rolling it between his fingers teasingly. His efforts coaxed more pre-cum out and he caught it eagerly, moaning at the taste. 

Just a few minutes longer had Cas coming down his throat, body stiffening to keep himself from arching up and pulling his stitches. Dean swallowed him down greedily, massaging the pulsing knot. Dean glanced up when the second, smaller orgasm hit, and Cas’s claws were extended and pierced the sheets, the rest of his body shaking. 

He panted down at Dean when he was done, and Dean finally pulled off with a wet sound, licking his lips. He kissed his way up Cas’s body, his tongue teasing the happy trail, then his belly button, and his lips grazed a nipple before he finally settled on Cas’s shoulder.

Dean rested his hand on Cas’s belly and traced circles in his skin. “So,” he grinned, “What were you saying?”

“I was… saying,” Cas rasped, trying to catch his breath. He swallowed hard. “That you shouldn't have been so reckless.”

Dean groaned and dropped his head to Cas’s shoulder. “Cas -”

“And that, whether you like it or not, that kid looks up to you now. You can set an example of strength and independence without putting your life in danger. I can't lose you. Either of you.”

“I know that all now, Cas,” Dean sighed, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. “How was I supposed to know she’d follow me? And it wasn’t my fault she wasn’t be watched.”

“Dean, I wasn’t trying to accuse you-”

“I  _ know, _ ” Dean groaned, rubbing at his eyes. “I just- reckless or not, I was pissed for good reason and I had every right to leave if I wanted to. I had no reason to think she would follow me. This is my first time around pups, Cas. I don’t how they think, how they act. I think you need to cut me a little slack here.”

“Dean, I just worry -”

“I know.”

Cas sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. He pressed his lips together and looked over at Dean for a long time before finally propping himself up by his elbow to look down at him. He leaned down, cupping Dean’s cheek, and pressed their lips together. 

“I'm sorry,” he said when he pulled away. “You're right. It wasn't your fault. It's just...I was just… so afraid.”

“I know,” Dean said gently, nuzzling at Cas’s chin, the scruff tickling his nose. “I really am sorry for that. If it makes you feel better, I was pretty scared myself. It was so cold and getting dark...all I could think about was keeping her warm as much as I could.” Dean fell back on his pillow, cupping the side of Cas’s neck. “I can’t take back what happened. All I can do is promise I’ll put a little more thought into my actions now that I’m...a mom.”

“You’re already a good mom,” Cas grunted as he shifted again to hover over Dean, kissing his chest. “It’s really…” another kiss, “all manner of attractive.” He trailed kisses down again, nipping at the hair of his happy trail, then looked up through his eyelashes. “God, you’re gorgeous, Omega.”

Dean glanced away with a blush and shifted under Cas. “Stop that.” 

“Never.” 

Dean huffed and looked down to see Cas tease the base of his flaccid cock with his tongue. He grunted and jerked, hands fisting into the sheets. His cock twitched, but Omegas didn’t have the virility Alphas did. Still, it felt good to have a warm tongue slide over him. It was even better watching it. Cas looked really fucking good between his legs. 

Cas grabbed Dean’s thighs and pulled him to him, letting his hands slide around to push his legs up. He smirked as he held Dean open in front of him, moving slowly, until he finally settled between them again and laved his tongue over his hole, still a little loose from earlier.

“Can you come for me again, sweet Omega?” He kissed the inside of Dean’s right thigh, looking up at him innocently. 

Dean sucked in a breath and his thighs quivered, his body starting to hum with anticipation. His cock gave another twitch and he felt the tiniest trickle of slick slip out of him. 

“I...um,” he grunted, hips jerking when that tongue laved over him again. “Dunno.” Dean glanced down and groaned, because Cas’s face pressed between his thighs was probably the hottest thing he’d ever seen. He shuddered and his cock began to swell slowly, a little more slick slipping out of his twitching hole. 

Cas hummed and rested his head against Dean’s thigh, looking up at him with a wicked smile. “I think you can.” He dipped down again and circled his hole with his tongue, reaching up to stroke his cock back to hardness. He speared his tongue and pressed it inside, moaning softly.

Dean wasn’t so sure, but he wasn’t going to stop Cas any time soon. He twitched and moaned up at the ceiling, his breath starting to come in pants now. He tried to watch Cas as the Alpha slid his tongue in and out, coaxing more slick out at a steady pace. It didn’t take long at all for his cock to stand, full and hard. Cas was right. He was going to be insatiable.  

Cas stopped long enough to wrap perfect pink lips around Dean’s cock, shiny with slick. Vaguely he felt he should’ve been embarrassed, but Cas looked so hot that it didn’t register. Cas slipped two fingers into Dean’s clenching hole as he swallowed him down eagerly, pressing them deep and crooking them up to brush against his prostate. Dean arched and pushed down on the fingers as much as he could, his legs catching on Cas’s shoulders. He whimpered when Cas added a third finger and began circling his hole again with his tongue.

Dean’s hand flew down to grip wild hair, tugging desperately. Everything felt so sensitive, almost to the point of pain but never quite reaching it. Cas was too gentle, applying just enough pressure and friction to please without causing discomfort. It would be different during his heat, when his body is open and ready all the time, but for now it required a little more gentle prodding so soon after taking a knot. 

Dean tried to grind down, but there wasn’t any room for him to. He circled his hips instead, moaning loudly when Cas’s fingers dragged against his walls. “ _ Cas...tiel _ ,” Dean gasped, arching beautifully for his Alpha. 

Cas suddenly withdrew his fingers in favor of his tongue again, licking Dean open, fucking him with his long tongue. Dean clenched at the emptiness, felt cool air meeting the warm slick as it gushed out of him, his cock straining, already so close to coming again.

Cas growled in his chest, the sound vibrating slightly against his hole, making his insides ache. Dean found himself simultaneously grateful for and irritated by Cas’s temporary handicap. Part of him was glad Cas had to take things slower, but part of him really wanted Cas to do some of those things to him that he teased about...specifically the one against the wall.

Dean bit his lip and looked over at the door, imagining himself pressed up against it, his cheek scraping the wood as Cas thrust into him from behind. He imagined Cas’s fangs sinking into his tingling mating gland as he pumped him full of Alpha seed...imagined his own cock spilling between them, making a mess all over the door. 

He gasped suddenly when he felt the slightest hint of fang scraping against his rim. He twitched and jerked, eyes snapping back to Cas to see him bobbing his head slightly as he fucked Dean with his tongue. 

“ _ F-Cas!” _ Dean growled and pushed himself down. Another poke of a fang and Dean was coming again, gasping as he threw his head back and made a mess all over his belly. 

His cock had barely stopped kicking before Cas began lapping up the mess, cleaning his stomach with the very same tongue that caused it. Dean watched him with hooded eyes as his chest rose and fell, pink tongue darting out to swipe the milky substance from his belly. There was something ridiculously erotic about it, and especially of the thought of Cas wanting him that badly...the idea that Cas was so enthusiastic about tasting him.

When Cas was done, Dean tugged him up into a sloppy kiss, tasting himself on Cas’s tongue and for some reason that had him hot and bothered all over again. He sucked on Alpha’s tongue, moaning and scraping his nails down his strong back, feeling every muscle twitch under his fingers. 

He dragged in air after they broke apart, their lips brushing together because they didn’t want to be too far away from each other. Dean purred and rubbed his cheek against Cas’s, his other hand tangling in his hair. 

Cas growled lowly and pressed their foreheads together, rocking back and forth slightly. He cupped Dean’s cheek and brushed his thumb over his cheekbone. “I wish I could make my brain stop screaming to breed you,” he whispered, his voice carefully resigned, “but I...I can’t help it. I really, really want to.” He huffed a humorless laugh and shook his head. “But that’s...no. I’m... _ afraid  _ of that. I’m afraid of your heat.”

Which was understandable. Suppressants weren’t accessible anymore, and even if they were, Missouri had made sure that Dean knew how dangerous they would have been for someone who had suffered from what he did. Omegas essentially had two options: celibacy, or take the risk...and Cas knew it. Dean had never really stopped to think about how horrifying the possibility of having another pup would be for Castiel, for more reasons than one.

Or maybe he had pushed it back along with his own fear of getting pregnant again. Missouri had explained to him that his risk of losing another pup or his life was greater now. His miscarriage at such a young age had taken a toll on his body and the lack of aftercare had the potential to cause problems in that department in the future, despite Missouri’s generally positive outlook on the subject.

“I’m afraid, too,” Dean said quietly, sliding a thumb over Cas’s sharp cheek and over his stubble. “It’s going to be a risk. Always. Chances…” he cleared his throat and blinked a few times. “There’s a real chance that we would lose the pup if you bred me. But the chances are even greater I’ll...that I won’t make it during my heat without you.” He smiled bitterly. “I’m not sure I can go through it alone again, Cas.”

“No,” Cas said firmly, shaking his head. “No. No. I’m not- I  _ won’t  _ let anything happen to you. It’s not gonna happen. Not again.”

Dean wasn’t sure if he was referring to losing a pup or losing a mate, and decided it was probably both. Cas moved to lay on his side, pulling Dean to him and nuzzling his neck, inhaling deeply to calm himself and running his fingers up through his hair. 

Dean sighed and closed his eyes, letting himself relax in his Alpha’s arms, the steady puff of Cas’s breath on his neck oddly comforting. He tried to send soothing, calm signals through his scent to ease the Alpha and it seemed to work, Cas’s tense muscles slowly unclenching. 

“Let’s not think about it anymore,” Dean said softly. “We don’t even know if I’m fertile or not. Missouri wasn’t able to conclude either way.” 

He kissed Cas’s neck and inhaled his strong, often overbearing scent. Dean couldn’t wait to smell him during his rut. 

They didn’t do much talking after that, and they spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms. Dean was lulled to sleep by the deep rumble in Cas’s chest and soft, strong hands rubbing up and down his back, feeling truly safe for the first time in his life.

\----

The next couple of days passed much the same way. Rory came back the next day around noon with the intention of staying with them in the cabin, but Max and Alicia’s mom Tasha invited her to come stay with them, which she decided was a much better offer. Dean hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her until she was leaving again. 

“I’ll keep a close eye on her,” Tasha had promised, giving Dean wink as Cas spoke with Benny off to the side. “And Benny here has been kind enough to watch over us tonight, so I don’t think we’ll have anything to worry about.” Tasha smiled at him and Benny’s face reddened as he looked down, clearing his throat. Dean made a mental note to tease him about it later.

Rory practically pounced into his arms when she left again, scenting his neck deeply when she hugged him. Dean squeezed her a little tighter than normal, only letting go when she began to struggle against him to be put back on her feet.

“Love you, mama,” she’d said, kissing him on his cheek. “Love you papa!” she shouted as she followed Max and Alicia down the hill, and Cas waved distractedly after them.

It was a hard night, but being able to see Benny standing guard outside of the Banes’ door from Cas’s window made things a little easier. At one point Cas had to lure Dean away from the window with heaping bowls of stew and soft kisses to the nape of his neck, and even then, he found himself often gravitating that direction, always finding Benny diligently standing guard.

\----

The next day, Dean awoke on his stomach, rutting into Cas’s mattress, sweat soaked into the sheets. He huffed and forced his hips to still, though he stayed pressed into the sheets to relieve some of the ache. He tried to pull himself up, but his limbs were already weak and trembling. He whined and fell back onto the bed, hissing when a cramp seized him, strong and crippling. 

He had expected his heat, but this had hit so fast, and much harder than it should on the first day. Already he could feel the fever, his skin flushed, and his insides throbbing painfully. Slick was secreting at a steady rate and would only get worse. His hole was loose and twitching, begging for a knot already.  

All Dean had to do was breathe, and he knew why. The scent hit him like a powerful wave, and he gasped and shuddered, the smell of raging fire and stormy beaches setting his senses into overdrive. His body hummed and flared his own scent, ready and open to accept his rutting Alpha in. 

The only problem was Cas was nowhere to be seen. 

Dean growled and looked around the cabin. They landed on Rory’s door, which was closed tight. He could hear faint whining from the other side, and he groaned and pressed his face into his pillow. 

“ _ Cas,” _ he growled, reaching up to grip the headboard and pull himself painfully to his knees. “Cas. Need you. Please…”

The whining stopped and Dean froze in anticipation, but the door didn't open. 

“ _ Cas.” _ Dean huffed and slid himself to the edge of the bed, clutching his cramping stomach as he stood shakily to his feet. “ _ Alpha.” _

A low whine started up again as he approached the door, tapering off into a throaty growl. “Dean, don't-”

“Shut the fuck up, Cas, and get out here and  _ knot  _ me.”

“ _ Dean.” _ Cas’s voice sounded strained, dark and low, growling and wild. Dean shuddered and leaned heavily against the door, his vision swimming as his fever spiked. His body was  _ screaming _ for the Alpha, his blood pumping and his mating gland tingling so much it hurt. 

“Alpha, please,” Dean whimpered, sliding to the floor on his knees and roughly dragging in air. “ _ I need you _ .” 

In desperation, and thanking Cas for never putting a lock on his daughter’s door, he yanked it open. Cas stared at him wide-eyed, the black taking over and leaving not even a sliver of white, his fangs huge and his lips curling with a low snarl. His hair stuck up wildly and his chest heaved, a massive erection between his legs. The knot was fat, the head leaking, and Dean groaned pitifully when his hole fluttered and ached. He was able to turn himself around and sagged to the floor, ass in the air and thighs spread as wide as he could. “ _ Cas, please _ ,” he whimpered pitifully, claws digging into the wood of the floor. “ _ Alpha, need you…” _

Cas immediately sank to his knees behind him, wrapping his arms around Dean's torso and hauling him to his feet, pressing him against the wall beside the doorway. He reached between them to run his fingers down the crack of Dean's ass, growling at the copious amount of slick that coated his fingers as they slid against his hole. 

Dean pressed his cheek against the wood and pushed his ass back against Cas’s hand, moaning desperately while Cas draped his other arm across Dean's chest and splayed his fingers over his throat, licking and sucking at his neck. 

“ _ Cas,” _ Dean breathed, “ _ please.” _

Cas spread his cheeks with a hand, and in one swift movement, buried himself deep inside, his balls snug against Dean's ass and body pressing him against the wall. 

The relief was quick, but short lived. Dean groaned pathetically and grinded back on Cas, his rim snagging briefly on the knot before it was buried inside. “ _ Fuckfuckfuck _ ,” he whimpered, clawing at the wall as he arched his back. His skin was slippery with sweat, his body too hot and too weak, his limbs trembling. The cold, rough wood felt good against his skin and he rubbed against it. 

“C’mon, Alpha,” Dean panted. “ _ Fuck me.Knot me.Breed me.” _ He words were slurred, sliding together in a mumbling mess as his brain started to forget all intelligent thought process. All he wanted, needed, cared about, was  _ breedknotbreedknot. _

Cas growled again and gripped Dean’s hips roughly, bucking wildly into him, breath hot on his skin and causing the mating gland to ache. It felt… _ good _ , so good, but it wasn't enough, like having an itch he couldn't quite scratch. Cas’s teeth grazed against the top of his shoulder and Dean groaned, instinctively letting his head fall back to expose his neck. 

Cas grunted and suddenly stopped and pulled out, eliciting a growl from Dean as he ached to be filled again. 

“ _ Alpha…” _

“Bed,” Cas said curtly, already pulling him by the wrist. Dean was prepared to present for him again, to spread himself wide for his Alpha, but Cas stopped him, pulling him in for a needy kiss. They broke apart breathlessly and Cas pushed him to the bed without another word, holding his head down against the mattress then running his hands down his back as he pushed inside again. 

Dean groaned and immediately rolled his hips back then rocked forward, shuddering as the knot popped out with a sound that might have embarrassed Dean if wasn’t so damn  _ horny _ . He growled and pushed back again, the knot popping back in and stretching his passage wonderfully. 

Suddenly claws were on his hips and he was held still as Cas snapped his hips, jabbing the head of his cock against Dean’s prostate. Dean arched and cried out, claws slicing through the sheets. Cas snapped his hips again, and again, setting a hard rhythm that had Dean’s body rocking back and forth, each thrust getting so deep and helping to soothe the unbearable ache. Dean couldn’t stop the sounds pouring out of him, whimpers and cries and long, loud moans.

Finally the knot caught and Dean arched as he actually felt himself being filled, the Alpha seed helping to calm the raging fire in his body. He pushed back into it and shuddered, his hole clenching down hard to milk the knot for every drop. He came suddenly with a cry, semen punched out of him with each shallow thrust within the constraints of the knot pulling at his rim. 

It spilled across the bed in thick globs and Dean collapsed on top of it, twitching and shuddering violently. His movement caused the knot to tug on his rim and Cas groaned above him, claws pressing into Dean’s thighs as his cock pulsed inside with another orgasm. Dean purred and rubbed against the bed as his body swallowed up more seed. He could feel it coating his walls, filling him up, saturating him. 

The fever subsided for the moment, his skin cooling marginally, and Dean almost sobbed in relief. Now that he had an Alpha, a knot, he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten through this without Cas. Even the cramps were at a minimum now and it all just felt so damn good.

Cas collapsed on top of him as his third orgasm took hold, his body shuddering with it. He licked and sucked at Dean’s neck and down to the matting gland, stopping to inhale deeply. He slowly rolled them both to their sides, wrapping his arms around Dean and growling softly in warning when Dean shifted marginally, the knot pulling at his rim. 

“Fuck.”

Dean smirked and pushed back against him, snuggling into his arms. “I know, that was-”

“No,” Cas interrupted, groaning as his muscles began to relax. “The stitches…” 

He held a bloody hand out in front of them and Dean flinched, but Cas started laughing, a small chuckle at first that transformed into a full blown laugh. Dean laughed then, too, shaking his head. 

“But yes, it was. It was… everything and more,” Cas said when he composed himself. “And now I get to call Missouri up here during my second rut in six years to stitch me up when we all know I'm just going to bust them again.”

“She’ll give us a mouthful for sure,” Dean sighed, rubbing against his pillow and closing his eyes to relish on the pleasant hum he was feeling. He didn’t think he’d ever felt so good in his life. “Cas, that was just...this feels so fucking good,” he moaned and barely pressed back, shuddering as Cas twitched inside him. “Dunno how I ever got through this without you. The hell were you thinkin’, locking yourself in the damn bedroom while I’m in  _ heat _ on your bed.”

“I…” Cas paused for a long time, finally letting out a breath. “I don't know. It made sense, at the time, but then… my brain was all… muddy.” He pressed a kiss to Dean's shoulder. “Alpha brain fighting against regular brain. I was afraid of hurting you. Unfortunately, regular brain also thought the next room over was the most viable option.”

“Makes perfect sense,” Dean snorted, reaching out behind and squeezing Cas’s hip. “Don’t have to be afraid, Alpha. I’m your Omega. I can take it. Besides…” he smirked and rolled his hips, tugging at Cas’s knot and making him hiss. “For an Alpha in rut that was...pretty tame, old man.”

“Tame, huh?”

“Yeah.”

A pause. “Dean, I didn't want to -”

“I know, Cas. You're sweet, really, worrying about me, but I'm good. I'm great. I want you, and I want you to take me. I want you to claim me.” Dean swallowed hard, the truth of his own words more frightening than anything. “I'm not afraid of you. I know you're not gonna hurt me. I trust you.”

Cas was quiet again for what felt like a long time, breathing steadily behind him. “As soon as this knot releases,” he said lowly, into Dean's ear, “I'm gonna breed you so good, Omega.” He splayed his fingers across Dean's stomach. “Gonna fill you up, make the ache go away.” He kissed the skin at the base of his neck, ghosting his fangs over the mating gland, which throbbed for them to sink in. “I'm gonna claim you, Dean, make you mine.”

Dean shuddered and swallowed again, wondering just what he’s gotten himself into. He’d always secretly wanted to see the  _ Alpha _ side of Castiel, the wild wolf that he apparently was (which Dean still doesn’t understand because they haven’t really talked about it), and now that he would he was clenching with anticipation.

“I’m yours, Alpha,” Dean said, pressing back against him. “Your Omega. I can take whatever you give me. Not only can I take it, but I want it. I’m gonna love every second of it.” 

Cas nuzzled his neck, purring loudly. “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you, too, Cas.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER!
> 
> Lauren and I want to take this time to tell you all how much all your support has meant to us during this process. This is our first long-chaptered fic and we look forward to many more, thanks to all your comments and kind words. Please check out our other work we have coming up:  
> Profess Unto Me- Godstiel s6/7 canon divergent, Master/Slave dynamic, Bottom!Dean Top!Cas, 112k words. Posting to SPNCanonBigBang on July 20th.  
> Also upcoming: Diner AU with main course Priestly!Dean and Photographer!Nonverbal!Cas, and a side order of Saileen, name tbd.  
> Follow us on Tumblr @deanmon69 and @holytrenchcoatedsubtextchuck for updates on both fics, and anything else we may write in the future.

“Can’t you just sort of...I don’t know, double stitch it or something?”

Missouri paused long enough to purse her lips and smack Cas on the back of the head, and he chuckled and fell back to the bed with a huff. 

“Boy, if you would just give it some time to heal-”

“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” Cas said with a smile, looking over at Dean. “Waited a long time for this, Missouri.”

Dean was curled up on the futon, doubled over with cramps, a thin blanket draped over him to hide his nudity. His fever was back, sweat glistening off his overheated body, his scent thickening with every passing minute. 

“Too long,” he growled pitifully, hugging his middle.

“Yeah, well, now you get to wait while I fix the mess you both made here.” She sighed and waved her hand at the bloody stitches. “And try not to undo them this time.” 

Dean whined and buried his face into the couch, huffing through the pain. “Hurry,” he said gruffly. “Please.” 

Cas pressed his lips together and looked back to Missouri, giving her a curt nod. “My mate needs me, Missouri.”

She fought back a smile as she looked back down, cleaning the wound and removing the old stitches. She stitched him back up fairly quickly, but the short period of time had the air thick with Dean’s scent, sweat soaking through his blanket, his body wracked with fever chills. 

Missouri finished and packed up her tools, giving Cas another stern warning to take it as easy as possible, with no more “heavy lifting”. She stopped by Dean on her way out the door, pushing some hair off his sweaty forehead and pressing a kiss there.

“Don’t you worry, baby,” she said gently, “we’re gonna take care of you, okay?”

Dean wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but he managed a small smile and a nod. Missouri pursed her lips and pulled her jacket around her, leaving without another word.

Dean heaved himself up, the blanket falling to the floor as he moved to stand, but he was flat on his back in a second with his Alpha hovering over him. Dean blinked and arched below him, spreading his legs in an obvious invitation. He was too hot and weak to do much else, and jerked his hips up to rub their cocks together, pre-cum smoothing down the shafts. 

“Gonna take me now, Alpha?” Dean asked breathlessly, chest heaving as another wave of pain clenched his abdomen. 

Cas set his jaw and settled between Dean’s legs, gripping his thighs to pull him close. He bit his lip as he dipped a hand down to rub along Dean’s leaking hole, and Dean clenched, his body doing its part to entice him. Cas pressed the blunt head of his cock against Dean’s rim, teasing him, before finally pushing inside. He leaned over Dean, looking down at him with hooded eyes, letting them both adjust and allowing a minute to compose himself.

He lowered himself flush against Dean’s torso and wrapped one arm around his waist. Dean’s arms wrapped around Cas’s neck and Cas’s other arm wrapped up and around his shoulder, squeezing it tightly from behind. He pulled out almost completely before throwing his weight behind the first thrust, Dean gasping as Cas bottomed out and circled his hips, his cock buried impossibly deep. Cas hissed as Dean dug his nails into his back, but it only served to spur him on, and soon he was pumping into Dean so hard it pushed him into the armrest of the futon, making a  _ thunking  _ sound each time he hit, joined by the obscene squelching of Cas’s knot popping in and out of his rim.

Dean didn’t care though, holding tightly to Cas’s muscular back and crying out with each thrust, feeling impossibly full and tingling all over. His scent flared powerfully, the aching gland between his neck and shoulder practically burning, begging the Alpha to bite down. 

Dean slid his claws into Cas’s hair and pulled him down to his neck. He tilted his head, giving Cas all the room he needed, his gland pulsing with Alpha so close. He moaned when Cas latched on, mouth and tongue licking and sucking at the spot, his fangs teasing but not penetrating just yet. Dean found the same spot on Cas, driven by instincts he’s only just started letting through again after so many years, his smaller fangs grazing over the sweaty skin. They pulsed in his gums, itching to drive inside. All this time Cas never let up in his forceful thrusting, each hit on Dean’s prostate making him see stars and the arm of the futon smacking into his shoulders, which would no doubt leave a bruise later. A bruise he’d wear proudly, to show everyone how good his Alpha could breed him. 

Cas slowed his movements as the knot swelled, until he gave one final hard thrust, popping the knot past Dean’s rim and circling his hips. Dean arched as he felt it catch and pulse with Cas’s first orgasm, warmth filling his belly. Cas’s eyes were feral as they looked down at him practically unseeingly, then he licked his lips and pressed them to Dean’s mating gland, before opening his mouth widely and biting down.

Dean cried out and gasped, body going rigid with a brief flash of fear as those monstrous fangs tore easily through his skin. The fear faded into nothing quickly, though, as Dean’s vision swam with a pleasure he’s never known. Like a lightning strike, it lit up his whole body and he could feel it course from head to toe. He clung to Castiel desperately, the Alpha vibrating with a powerful growl that Dean felt all the way to his bones. He shuddered violently and his mouth fell open, fangs glistening before they sunk into the skin between Cas’s neck and shoulder, sealing their mating bond forever. 

Cas didn’t let go until his second orgasm took hold, and even then he continued to press his lips against the mark, laving his tongue over the punctures. He groaned against Dean’s skin and Dean arched against him, releasing his own hold on Cas’s neck as he spilled between their bodies. 

Dean sagged moments later, his back hitting the cushions as he breathed through his mouth, lips and fangs covered in blood. He pulled Cas down to him to lick at the wound, purring loudly as he cleaned up the puncture wounds. They were nowhere near the size Cas probably left on him, but it was enough to scar and that’s what counted. 

Cas worked himself through another orgasm, body finally sagging and chest heaving when he came down from it. His pupils shrank slowly, revealing the blue that Dean loved so much, and his fangs receded. He laid a hand on Dean's neck and pressed their lips together in another languid kiss, brushing his thumb across his jaw. 

“I love you, my Omega,” he said when they broke apart. “My  _ mate. _ ”

Dean grinned up at him, his heart fluttering and his fingers threading through Cas’s thoroughly fucked out hair. “I love you, my Alpha,” he said back. “ _ My mate. _ ” It felt so good to say it and have it finally mean something, for it to be real and permanent. The bloody mess on his neck made it so.

Already he could feel his hormones shifting, his instincts bending, his mind opening up, scent morphing. Over the next few days he and Cas would go through subtle, but powerful changes. Changes that would altar how they behaved around each other, how their bodies went through their various cycles, even how their minds connected. There were stories Dean used to hear that said some mates could even feel each other’s emotions, read each other’s thoughts. He wasn’t too sure about all of that, but he also didn’t believe in shifters until very recently. Either way, Dean was beyond happy to finally belong to Cas, to have a bond that could never be broken.

They laid locked together for a long time, and even after the knot released they still didn't move, Cas wordlessly running fingers through Dean's hair and gently down his body. They enjoyed the reverence, the finality of mating, of finally being able to belong to one another. They both still had wounds; wounds that would remain forever, but much like the stitches on Cas’s body, they would fade in time, leaving only faint scars of their past. 

This was the acceptance. This was both of them acknowledging the pain of the past, and choosing to move forward. Together. 

\-----

The rest of Dean’s heat passed in a feverish haze. Dean was at Castiel’s mercy, letting his Alpha breed and pump him full. On the last day of Dean’s heat and Cas’s rut, they moved their aching bodies slowly and Cas knotted him a final time with a soft grunt and stuttering hips. Dean was a boneless mass beneath him, his legs splayed and one hand holding weakly to Cas’s arm. His hole was incredibly sensitive and sore, milking Cas’s knot with sluggish clenching, the muscles loose and tired and the slick gland overworked. Dean was tired, aching, sore, exhausted, and completely fucked out. It was the most amazing thing he’d ever felt; a welcome change to the fear and pain he’d become accustomed to dealing with during his heats. 

They slept the entire day after, wrapped clumsily in each other’s arms, the cabin reeking of sex and sweat, their scents so thick it was almost hard to breathe. Cas tiredly cracked a window before collapsing back onto the bed next to the still-sleeping Dean, quickly passing out and neither of them waking until late into the following day.

His mate’s needs forced Cas to stumble out of bed and put together some sort of meal along with a lot of water. He fed his Omega first, who was too sore to move much, and then quickly ate the rest. When Dean had a bit more energy, Cas helped him walk around the cabin to work out the stiff muscles. Cas then helped him into the bath, soaking them both in hot water. Afterwards, the Alpha lathered Dean up with soothing oils and ointments, massaging away any lingering aches, and gave special attention to his abused hole. The rim was puffy and red, and would take a while to fully heal, but Dean didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was the picture definition of a happy, healthy Omega.

When they were comfortably refreshed and the cabin was thoroughly aired out and cleaned, they set out to get Rory from Charlie's. She'd ended up there after staying the first night with the Banes’, and even with as much time as Charlie spent with her, she was bound to be exhausted by now. 

Dean chewed his lip nervously as they walked down the hill, eyeing the people milling about outside of their cabins. Their mating bites had begun healing, but they were still red and scabbed, and it wouldn't take more than a look for people to notice. Despite what Charlie and Missouri had assured him, Dean was still nervous about the pack's reaction to Cas taking a new mate after all these years. 

Cas looked over at him and immediately took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Everything is going to be fine, sweetheart,” he said with confidence. “You are perfect, and you make me happy, and they're all going to see that.”

Dean frowned, still unsure, but Cas’s confidence let him relax a little. After all, they were mated now whether the pack liked it or not. Nothing could change that. 

Even so, Dean partially hid himself behind Cas once they reached Charlie’s cabin. They didn’t even have a chance to knock before something small and red came flying out, attaching itself to Cas’s legs with a squeal. 

“Papa!” Rory smiled up at him. “I was waiting  _ forever _ .” 

“Surely not  _ forever _ ,” Cas laughed, pulling her into his arms and kissing her cheek. Charlie leaned in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, smiling warmly.

“Well, it  _ felt  _ like forever,” she grumbled dramatically, fisting a hand into Cas’s hair. “What took so long?”

Cas glanced over at Dean briefly, pressing his lips together. “We’ll talk about it later, sweetie. Okay?”

For once she deemed that answer good enough, and she nodded, reaching out for Dean. 

“Dean!”

Dean smiled and pulled her into his arms, chuckling when she scented at his neck and pulled away with a curious frown.

“You smell funny.”

“Hello to you, too.”

Rory smiled apologetically and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. If she noticed the healing bite mark, she didn’t say anything. 

“Ready to go home?” Dean asked, stroking her hair. Rory sighed and nodded, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He turned to Charlie and gave her a nod.

“Thanks for watching her,” he smiled tentatively, shifting on his feet.

“Anytime,” she smiled back. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them but her smile didn’t fade, and she suddenly stepped forward and hugged Cas, then Dean and Rory. 

“Seriously,” she said when she pulled away. “Whenever you guys need me, I’m here.”

Cas laid a hand on her cheek and bumped their foreheads together with a smile. “Thank you.” He pulled away and patted her cheek once more, then wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and kissed Rory on the top of her head.

“Oh, and I almost forgot,” Charlie said suddenly, “Eileen will probably come soon to tell you herself, but she found out that she is with pup. Sam doesn’t know yet, since Benny wouldn’t allow another Alpha in the camp, since-” she looked between the two of them and cleared her throat nervously. “I just...being cautious, I think. Anyway, she still has to tell him, but I thought you’d want to know first.”

“That’s wonderful,” Cas said with a resigned smile. “I’ll speak with Benny about going to get him.”

Dean busied himself with Rory, pointedly ignoring conversations of pups and pregnant Omegas. It was unlikely his heat would produce anything, but it was still a risk they took and it whispered at the back of Dean’s mind. He had a feeling it would always be this way after every heat. 

Lost in his thoughts, Dean started when Cas pulled at his hand to lead them back to the cabin. He followed quietly, listening to Rory as she chattered about all they did, what games her friends played, and how much she missed them.

“Sounds like you had too much fun to miss us,” Dean teased as they stepped inside and shook off their jackets.

“I didn’t have  _ that  _ much fun,” Rory clicked her tongue as she climbed onto one of the big pillows. “LiLi doesn’t have a lot of patience for other kids. So my friends can’t stay too long.”

Dean couldn’t really blame Charlie for that. A cabin full of pups sounded like chaos.

Cas kicked off his shoes and wrapped his arm back around Dean, kissing his forehead as Dean stepped out of his own shoes.

“Rory,” Cas started slowly, casting a glance at Dean, “Dean and I have something we need to talk to you about.”

Rory tilted her head to the side. “Okay.”

Cas licked his lips quickly and swallowed, looking at Dean and inclining his head to the side. He led Dean to the futon with a hand on his back, helping him get comfortable before he sat down beside him.

“C’mere,” he gestured to Rory, and she hopped up and joined them, plopping down on Cas’s lap with her legs across Dean’s. Cas brushed some wild hair out of her face and moved it to drape over her shoulder, then took Dean’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Rory looked at them curiously.

“Remember how we talked about Dean staying here?”

Rory nodded, looking down as she fiddled with their hands. “Yeah.”

“Well...Dean is...I think it’s safe to say,  _ officially  _ going to stay here with us.” Cas quirked a smile and glanced at Dean. 

Rory glanced between the two of them, biting her bottom lip. “Like...live with us?”

Dean nodded, watching her anxiously.

“Forever?”

His lips twitched in a smile and he shrugged. “Ah, well, as long as I have...so, yes, forever.”

Rory smiled up at him. “Are you and papa mates now?”

Dean’s eyes widened and he glanced at Cas, nodding slowly. “Yes...yes, we’re mated now. Is that okay?”

She shrugged easily. “I don’t really get what mates and stuff are, but I don’t see why I wouldn’t like it. If it means you stay, then it’s okay.”

Dean smiled softly. “Not going anywhere, kiddo.”

She shifted and scooted over into Dean’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Cas wrapped his arm around him too, and Dean leaned into the touch, resting his head on Cas’s shoulder. Cas’s hand came up to cup his head and pull him in, and he kissed him on the forehead.

“Papa, when are you going to go get Sam?”

Cas frowned. “Probably tomorrow...why, Rory?”

She shrugged, pulling idly at Dean’s shirt. “He’s nice. He likes to read, too. He’s read all the  _ Harry Potter  _ books.”

Dean frowned, but didn’t say anything as he looped an arm around his pup. He felt the tiniest stirrings of jealousy, but that was silly. Okay, so he can’t read the  _ Harry Potter _ books yet. He would eventually. It was stupid to be jealous of an Alpha he didn’t even really know.

“Ah,” Cas murmured. “Well maybe I can talk him into bringing you a book.”

Rory grinned excitedly. “You think he would give one up?”

Cas shrugged, smiling softly. “I bet he has one he wouldn’t mind lending to you. As long as you took care of it.”

Rory rolled her eyes. “Papa, you  _ know _ I will.”

“I know.”

She grinned and hugged Dean again, kissing his cheek, then climbed down out of his lap without another word and disappeared into her room.

Cas exhaled slowly and scrubbed a hand down his face, letting the hand fall to his knee with a  _ slap _ . Dean watched the doorway Rory disappeared through, deep in thought about the Alpha he barely knew and the familiarity of his scent, and of the idea that he would soon be spending a lot more time at the compound.

Cas reached up to pull the lip he hadn’t realized he’d been biting from between his teeth, smoothing it over with his thumb. “Hey, don’t worry.”

“I’m not.”

Cas tilted his head knowingly. “Dean.”

Dean sighed and scrubbed at his face. “I’m not... _ worried _ . It’s just…” He suddenly sat up and faced Cas, rubbing a palm over his thighs. “Cas, this...Sam. Where did you say he came from again?”

Cas raised a brow and frowned. “He’s from another camp...not too far from here. Why?”

Dean chewed on his lip and looked down. “He...well, I ran into him before he left.  No, it’s fine, he didn’t hurt me.”

Cas abruptly stopped and actually blushed when he realized he’d been growling.

“It’s just...he,” Dean sighed, “He smelled...very familiar. Like...I should know him.”

Cas narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together. “Familiar like...Michael familiar?”

“No, no,” Dean waved his hand and Cas visibly relaxed. “His scent...I kept thinking of my dad. I mean, I don’t really remember my parents much anymore. But I remember their scents. Sam...he doesn’t smell exactly like him, but it’s so close.”

Cas frowned and chewed the inside of his cheek. “Is it possible that he’s family?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. I was so young when they left, I...I mean, then, it was just me. But I guess since then...it’s...possible? I don’t know. Weird to think about.”

Cas squeezed his hand. “Would it be the worst thing, to find out he was family?”

Dean shrugged and tried to figure out how he was feeling, but he couldn’t pinpoint it. He tried to picture Sam as family, but he couldn’t wrap his head around it. “I...I don’t know. He obviously wasn’t abandoned like I was. And if my dad had any hand in raising him, he probably doesn’t think too much of a male Omega.”

“Sam has never struck me as that type,” Cas said. “He’s been here many times before, and is actually really good friends with Kevin, who’s also a male Omega.” Cas shrugged, but he bit his lip. “You know...it’s as simple as just... _ asking  _ him who his parents are.”

“Yeah.” Dean let out a breath. “I know.”

Cas brushed his thumb over the back of Dean’s hand as they sat in silence.

“I love you,” Cas said finally, and Dean looked up to find those blue eyes already on him. He gave him a small smile and squeezed Cas’s hand. 

“I know, Cas.”

——-

Cas left early the next morning to fetch Sam, kissing his grumpy mate and their still- sleeping pup. Once Rory woke, Dean took her down to the kitchen for breakfast and to Missouri afterwards. She wanted to give Dean a quick look over since he’d had his first heat with a knot, not to mention Cas had also been in rut. Ruts could be hard on an Omega’s body if the Alpha wasn’t careful. As it was, Cas’s rut had be hard on Dean’s body, and Cas  _ had _ been extremely careful and attentive throughout.

When they stepped inside the medic cabin, Missouri was busy with someone, and she poked her head out from behind a sheet to motion to Dean to sit on a bed nearby. Rory went off to chat with her friend Alicia while Dean watched her from his seat, trying not to eavesdrop too much on Missouri and her patient and failing miserably. 

“You’re about a month along now,” Missouri said, her voice muffled by the layer of curtains between her and Dean. “So you’ll probably start to really feel the pregnancy now. Mood swings, bloating, sore breasts...all that fun stuff.” 

“How will we know it's healthy?” he heard Eileen ask, a hint of urgency in her tone. 

“Well unfortunately we don't have an ultrasound machine, so there’s no way for me to definitively know,” Missouri replied. “But if you take care of yourself, take it easy, and get the nutrients you need, I got no reason to believe you won't have a healthy baby. Okay, sugar?”

Dean couldn't hear her response, but he heard Missouri respond to her in a soft tone, then excuse herself. 

“How ya doin’ honey?”

Dean jumped when Missouri pulled back the curtain, then closed it behind her. She  immediately pulled up a chair and patted his knee, giving him a warm smile. 

“I’m, um, alright,” Dean shrugged, rubbing a palm over his knee. “Little sore, but you know…”

Missouri hummed and eyed him closely. “Any discomfort other than soreness? Anything abnormal?”

Dean shook his head, fiddling with his hands.

“He take care of you afterwards?” Missouri asked sharply. “Ruttin’ Alphas can get so rough-”

“Yes, he took care of me,” Dean stammered, blushing slightly. “W-wasn’t that rough. Made sure I was comfortable before and after. It’s Cas. He’s not gonna-”

“I know, I know,” Missouri waved her hand with a sigh. “I just worry is all. Cas is a good Alpha, but even he can lose himself sometimes.”

Dean nodded slowly, thinking over the blur of memories from his heat. Yes, Cas could definitely lose himself.

Missouri stood and looked him over. “Well, you're looking good and healthy. Seems your first complete heat has been good to you.” She checked the lymph nodes in his neck and prodded gently at the mating bite, and she wordlessly grabbed a tube of ointment from her table and spread some over the punctures. She looked back and forth between Dean's face and the mating bite, her eyes finally coming to rest on his. 

“You happy, baby?”

Dean blushed and smiled, looking down at his hands. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. Very happy.”

“Good.” Missouri capped the tube and set it aside, sitting back down in her chair. “Any concerns about your heat?”

Dean shrugged again, picking at his nail. He would never get used to talking about his body and its many embarrassing functions, even if Missouri made it as easy as she could. “Not really….um,” he sighed and rubbed at the back of his head. “Worried a little...you know, if I get pregnant. Know it’s a risk for every heat, but...I..I don’t wanna lose another pup.”

She took his hand, laying her other hand on top of them. “Honey, you're in very good health. Your body responded well during this heat. You're strong, nourished, and being mated is only going to help your immune system and strength. If it happens, I'm sure you'll be fine. There's no need in stressing about it. I'm gonna take care of you.”

Dean squeezed her hand, feeling the warmth and the soft skin, and sighed as he finally nodded. “Okay...okay, I won’t worry about it,” he said in what he hoped was a confident tone. “You said it was unlikely anyway, right?”

Missouri sighed and shrugged, rubbing his hand softly. “One can never  _ really _ tell with these sort of things, honey. Not every heat takes. If they did we’d be poppin’ out pups left and right. And with your history, well...it’s just hard to say. If we had the technology, I could take a closer look at you, but we got to work with what we got.”

Dean nodded again and looked down at their hands. The thing was, he couldn’t even decided what he wanted. He didn’t  _ want _ to be barren, but he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to carry a pup either. He had a pup now. Carrying one was unnecessary and risky.

But the idea of having a pup with Cas- with his  _ mate _ \- that was a bit different, he supposed. 

“Okay, darlin’. Any pain during or after?”

Dean shook his head. “No, just a little soreness, but I figured that was kind of normal.”

“Mhm, good,” Missouri said dismissively, examining his stomach. “Any tenderness? Any of this hurt?” She set about pressing on different areas of his abdomen, much like she did during his first visit to her, what seemed like forever ago now.

“No ma’am,” Dean said.

“No other concerns?”

“I don’t think so.”

Missouri pursed her lips and nodded, stripped off her gloves, and sighed as she sat back in her seat. “Cas hasn’t come to see me in a few days. He takin’ care of himself?”

Dean smiled and looked down at his hands again. “Yeah. Yeah, I think he’s okay. Seems okay. Stitches look good.”

“He can come get those out next week,” Missouri told him as she tossed her gloves into the trash. She eyed Dean and took a deep breath. “How you been doing, baby? Mentally...since all that awfulness?”

Dean blew out a breath and rubbed a thumb over the fresh scars on his wrist where Michael’s claws had dug in. He still couldn’t stand being pinned down, his arms locked with no way to move. Cas had respected that during his rut, though Dean was sure it had been difficult for him. It’s a natural position for an Alpha, almost a need, to hold his Omega down while he bred him. Dean supposed if it wasn’t for Michael he might enjoy that. Maybe one day he  _ could _ enjoy it. 

“I’m...okay,” Dean said softly. “Cas thinks I should try talking to Garth and I’ve decided I would. Dunno if it will help, but…” he shrugged and offered Missouri a small smile. “I don’t feel that same fear, though. Cas says it’s because I fought him off, faced him. Guess it could be true.”

“Well. It wasn’t the best of situations, that’s for sure...but facing your attacker, facing that fear...I can imagine that would be...for lack of a better word, somewhat therapeutic.” Missouri stood and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. “I’m proud of you, baby. And I think talking to Garth is a good idea.”

Dean closed his eyes and returned the hug, melting into her embrace. He felt a tug at his shirt and looked down to find Rory looking up at him curiously.

“You okay, mama?”

Dean pulled away from Missouri, quickly rubbing at his moist eyes, and nodded quickly. “Yeah, baby, I’m okay,” he murmured, pulling her into his lap. He nuzzled her hair while she wrapped her arms around his neck, scenting him with a small sigh. 

“Ready to go?” 

She nodded and wrapped her legs around him as he stood, holding her close to his chest. He thanked Missouri and they headed back out into the cold.

\------

Cas closed Eileen’s door behind him and stepped down off the porch, giving a quick look around at the cabins nearby. Benny adjusted his cap on his head and fell into step next to him, heading the general direction of the cabin on the hill. It was early afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky, working to melt the snow despite the cool air. They trudged through the slush, Cas shoving his hands in his pockets and squinting up at the sky.

“Kid seemed real excited,” Benny commented, and Cas hummed in agreement. “Be a real shame to see Eileen go, though. Wish there was some way we could-”

“Benny, we’ve been through this,” Cas said exasperatedly. “I would love to be able to allow them to stay, but...I can’t risk the Omegas here. I don’t want to risk their safety or their comfortability. There are other safe camps I can send mated couples to keep the way of life here consistent.”

“With all due respect, chief, a couple more trusted Alphas here could be a good thing. Giving us a hand with the gates, protect from enemies, lighten the workload. You can’t do it all yourself, boss. You’re gonna get burnt out. And with Rory, and now having a mate again...you shouldn’t have to deal with it all on your own.” 

Cas gave him a small smile. “Well that’s why I have you, Benny.”

“That wasn’t me fishin’ for a compliment.”

Cas sighed. “I just don’t know how well other Alphas here would be received. Just because I trust them doesn’t mean the others will, and that’s what matters.”

Benny looked down at his feet as they walked in silence to the bottom of the hill. Cas crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at the cabin fondly, the hint of a smile pulling at his lips that Benny didn’t miss.

“So what do you think the chances are, Sam and Dean being related?”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. Good as any, I suppose. I’m just not sure how to approach the situation.” He sighed. “Dean seems sure that he recognizes the scent, though. I’m worried…” Cas pulled at his bottom lip with his teeth, then looked over at Benny. “I worry about how Dean would react, if it ends up being true. The idea that his family abandoned him for being an Omega, then having another kid. It would not only make him abandoned, but replaced. Somehow I think that’s worse. Or rather, it would be for him.”

Benny scratched at his cheek and adjusted his hat with a small sigh. “I suppose that could all be true, but I don’t think Sam is like that. He can’t help what his parents did in the past, and we don’t even know if he’s in contact with them anymore. I’ve never heard him talk about them at any rate. I can’t imagine him being raised by a dad who abandoned an Omega son and turnin’ out the way he did.” He dropped his hand and shrugged. “But, either way...if he  _ is _ Dean’s brother, it’s gonna be a hell of a shock for both of them.” Benny chewed on his lip curiously. “Wonder if I get some info from Eileen. If Dean recognized his scent, suppose Sam did too. He may have mentioned something to her.”

“That’s possible,” Cas nodded. “Probable, even.” He shifted on his feet, brushing a hand through his hair. “You should talk to her.”

“Mmm.” Benny stared at him. “Everythin’ else okay?”

“What? Oh. Yeah. Everything’s fine.” Cas frowned and set his jaw. “Just a little on edge, I guess. Can’t explain it.”

“Missing those midnight runs?” Benny teased, and Cas gave him a sheepish smile.

“Maybe a little. Missouri said no exceptions though, not for awhile.”

“Smart lady.”

“Yeah, well.” Cas crossed his arms over his chest and jerked his head toward the cabin. “I’ll see you, Benny. Gotta get back to my family.”

Benny smiled. “It’s good to hear you say that again.”

“It feels good to say it.” He touched Benny on the shoulder and gave him a smile, then started up the hill.

\----

**_One week later_ **

“Boy, if you don’t  _ sit still _ -”

“Missouri, please, you’re taking  _ so long _ -”

“You’re as bad as a pup,  _ Alpha _ ,” she shook her head and for the hundredth time pushed  him back down on the bed. “Removin’ stitches is delicate, sugar. Now be patient.”

Cas groaned pitifully and glared when he heard Dean chuckle from the kitchen. 

“Not funny, Omega,” he pouted.

“It is, kinda,” Dean said as he cut up some vegetables for lunch. “If you don’t let her do it right, you’ll end up keeping them longer. Is that something you want?”

“...no.”

Dean smiled and threw the sliced up carrot into the pot. “Then be a good Alpha and sit still.”

Cas huffed dramatically but laid still, and Missouri quickly finished removing the rest of the stitches, then wiped the area with antiseptic. 

“There. Good as new.”

Cas groaned as he sat up, looking the wounds over. “I feel old.”

“You are old.” Rory looked up from her drawing and grinned smugly.

“Didn’t ask for comments from the peanut gallery,” Cas said grumpily as he got to his feet. He pulled Missouri in for a hug. “Thank you. You’re welcome to stay for dinner-”

“Oh no, honey, I got too much to do tonight. But thank you for the offer. Maybe next week.” She pulled away and patted his cheek, gave Rory a kiss on the top of her head, and crossed the room to pull Dean into a hug. Dean wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight, taking in her warm scent before they pulled away. Missouri gave him a long look then seemed to settle on something.

“It’s all gonna be fine, honey,” she said softly, patting his cheek. Dean blinked at her confusedly, but she didn’t offer up any other words. She just smiled and left, closing the door behind her.

“What was that about?” Cas asked as he pulled out his gold box.

Dean shrugged and shook his head. “No idea. Never can tell with her.”

Cas lit his joint and took a drag, ruffling Rory’s hair as he walked over to the kitchen. He placed the joint between his lips and wrapped his arms around Dean from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Something bothering you?”

“I’m fine, Cas.”

He reached up around Dean’s body to pull the joint from his lips and put it between Dean’s, exhaling through his nose as he pressed a kiss to his neck. “Dean.”

Dean took a drag then pulled it from his lips, passing it back to Cas as he exhaled slowly. “Really, Cas, I’m fine. I don’t know what she was on about. I’m seeing Garth for the first time in forever today. Maybe that was it.”

Dean started in on the celery, cutting it up quickly before throwing it in with everything else, then turning and wrapping his arms around Cas’s waist, pulling him close. 

Cas had that perpetually perplexed expression, but he pressed his lips together and opted not to keep prying. He put the joint between his teeth and lifted Dean easily onto the counter, settling between his legs and smiling at him. “You’re beautiful,” he said genuinely, ignoring Rory’s noises of disgust in the background. “Happy’s a good look on you, Omega.”

Dean couldn’t help but grin, his legs automatically wrapping around Cas’s waist. He vividly remembered them doing something like this during his heat and hastily pushed the thought away for later.

“I  _ am _ happy,” he said, pulling Cas in by his shirt to kiss him languidly. “And it’s because of you, Alpha.” Dean smiled teasingly. “My handsome old man.”

Cas pulled him in for another kiss, smiling against his lips. “I don't know if anyone ever told you this, but insulting a man's age has horrible repercussions.”

Dean smirked. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Well, like,” Cas drew off the joint, “proving themselves… capable.”

“Mmm. In what way?” Dean smiled, taking the joint as Cas passed it to him. 

“I'll leave that to your imagination,” Cas winked, running his hands from Dean’s shoulders down his arms and leaning forward to kiss him again. 

“Tease,” Dean muttered against his lips then chuckled when he heard Rory clear her throat loudly.

“ _ Please _ don’t do that when I’m in the room,” she sighed, exasperated. 

“Close your eyes,” Dean shot back.

“Then I can still hear you.”

“Cover your ears.”

She threw her hands up and disappeared into her room, humming very loudly as she started to draw. 

“Pups,” Dean mumbled, rolling his eyes. “She gets that from you, you know.”

Cas hummed and pulled him in again by the back of his neck, deepening their kiss. He dropped his hands to Dean’s waist as Dean’s wrapped around his neck.

“You know,” Cas managed between kisses, “now that I have...these stitches out...I don’t...have to...hold back as much.” 

Dean pulled away with an irritated huff and raised a brow. “Are you gonna kiss me or not?”

Cas grinned and shrugged. “I’m just sayin’, all this teasing you’ve done at my expense, and I haven’t had the opportunity to prove you wrong yet.”

Dean licked his lips and smirked, slipping a hand up and under Cas’s shirt, his fingers playing with his happy trail. “Well, it  _ is _ just teasing. It’s fun getting my Alpha all flustered.”

“Fun for  _ you _ .”

Dean shrugged, still smiling. “I know perfectly well, Cas, that you…” he leaned in, grazing his teeth along Cas’s bottom lip and pulling it, “are more than capable of dominating your Omega.”

Cas’s eyes widened and cleared his throat, then swallowed hard. He glanced back at Rory’s door, which was cracked, and her little voice was carrying from the other side as she talked to herself. 

“You make me absolutely crazy,” Cas murmured, licking and sucking at his neck and laving his tongue over his mating bite. “Have me half out of my mind with want, all the time.”

“I would say I’m sorry,” Dean whispered, nuzzling into Cas’s neck and nibbling at his mating bite. “But I’m really not. I like that you want me so much.” His fingers itched to slip under Cas’s waistband, tracing along it teasingly. “Makes it harder on me, though...in a near constant state of  _ slicking _ with you around. You’re dehydrating me, Alpha.”

Cas’s growl rumbled in his chest and he took a breath, dropping his forehead to Dean’s shoulder. He took a few more deep breaths, letting them out slowly, before lifting his head again.

“When she is asleep tonight, I’m going to make sure to show you exactly how much I want you, always” he whispered, nipping at his earlobe. “Drink lots of water.” He pulled back with a wink and took a drag off the joint, huffing a laugh as he handed it to Dean.

Dean placed it between his lips and inhaled, long and slow, then passed it back. “Now that you have your stitches out,” he said, glancing over at the pot to make sure it wasn’t boiling over. “Will you, um...shift again?”

Cas looked down at the joint between his fingers. “Eventually, yes. Maybe a couple more days. It’s just that it’s...rough on the body, sometimes, shifting back and forth.” He shrugged, looking back up, his eyes starting to redden slightly from the pot. “It’s easier to patrol the perimeter that way, though. Faster.”

Dean nodded in understanding, sliding the hand under Cas’s shirt up to ghost over his chest. “This pack is lucky to have an Alpha that can do that,” he said softly. “I heard these stories about shifter Alphas...the kind of stuff that gave Omegas nightmares. But this place is safe because of you...if you hadn’t been in your wolf form, you never would have heard that pup. Ezra is alive because of you.” He leaned forward, his legs tightening around Cas’s waist, and kissed him. “I’m very proud to be your Omega.”

“You got him to safety,” Cas pointed out. “ _ I’m _ proud that you’re my Omega.” He wrapped his arms tightly around Dean’s waist and lifted him from the counter, walking him over to the futon and depositing him gently on the cushions. He took a seat beside him and pulled his legs into his lap.

“What time is your appointment?” Cas asked, pulling up Dean’s right pant leg and rubbing his shin gently.

Dean sighed and leaned back, enjoying the attention. “In about an hour,” he mumbled. “Cas, I really don’t want-”

“You’re going,” Alpha said firmly, giving his leg a small squeeze. “I promise, it will help. Just give it a real chance this time.”

Dean huffed loudly and pouted. “What do I get for going?”

Cas grinned and pretended to consider it. “Well, I can think of a ton of things I could give you, but I fear they’re all largely self-indulgent.” He reached over to take Dean’s chin in his hand, brushing his thumb along his jaw. “What do you want?”

“A pony.”

Cas’s hand fell with a loud  _ slap _ . “Dean-”

“And a lollipop.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous-”

“And I get to call you Fluffy for a week.”

“ _ Absolutely not. _ ”

“Half a week.”

“No.”

“Okay, a day.”

“...fine.”

Dean grinned triumphantly and nudged Cas with his knee. “I’m gonna moan it during se-”

“I will push you off this couch.”

Dean laughed then yawned, settling back into the cushions of the couch. He closed his eyes, stretching his legs out over Cas’s lap.

“What are you doing?” Cas asked, rubbing his knee.

“Taking a nap.”

“Dean,” Cas pulled gently at his arm. “You have that appointment. No time to sleep.”

“But I’m so  _ tired. _ ”

“You can sleep when you get back.” Cas hit his joint one more time carefully to avoid the buildup of ash on the end dropping into his lap, then he tossed it in the tray on the table. “Come on, now. Up you go.”

\----

Garth smiled brightly as he swung open the door, his big ears poking out from under shaggy brown hair that fell around his face. He looked strangely professional despite having lived in a post-apocalyptic camp for several years, wearing a pair of khaki pants with a faded blue button-up tucked in, and worn loafers on his feet. 

“Hiya, Dean! It’s been awhile since we’ve really talked. Seen you around but with all the hooplah it’s hard to get a word in-”

“Yeah,” Dean spoke over him, raising a brow. “I can see that’s a real problem for ya.”

Garth blinked then smiled again, gesturing for Dean to come inside. The Omega did so reluctantly and gingerly sat down while Garth bustled around to make tea. Dean took a moment to look around, since he didn’t really take in the space last time he was here. It was as bright and cheerful as you could make a cabin, with soft curtains and several stuffed animals that Dean assumed were for the children. 

“I’m so happy you’re giving this another chance, Dean,” Garth said, handing him a cup of tea. “Therapy isn’t so scary. I don’t even really like using that word. We’re just friends who chit chat at scheduled times.”

He gave Dean a cheeky grin and sat down in the chair opposite of Dean, sipping at his own tea. 

“Not sure I’d call us friends yet,” Dean muttered, looking down at his cup.

“True,” Garth shrugged. “But we could be.”

Dean raised a brow, but didn’t comment as he took a sip. Cas’s tea was better, but maybe he was biased.

“Anyway,” Garth waved a hand, taking another gulp of tea before setting the cup down on the table between them. “I know just as much of this situation as everyone else. You and Cas had a misunderstanding, you left, all that nastiness that ensued after. We can skip over all that. What I’m interested in is how you’re feeling, since facing the man you’ve been afraid of for so long.”

Dean frowned and set his cup down, folding his hands in his lap. “I don’t really know,” he said honestly. “Relieved, I guess. Always kinda felt he’d hunt me down again. Always lookin’ over my shoulder. Everything he did, though...it’s still there. Not afraid like I used to be, but...not really... _ not _ afraid, either.” He paused and licked his lips. “I’m comfortable with Cas, though. He doesn’t scare me. I think he thinks he might, if he lets his Alpha side out, but...he won’t.”

Garth was quiet for a moment, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Relief is something I expected… I guess the most... _ obvious  _ way to describe how you feel. But that last part, now, that’s interesting to me.” He cleared his throat and held his hands out briefly, then clasped them together in front of him. “So from what you’ve said it’s clear to me that you automatically view Alphas negatively...even hearing you say the  _ word  _ Alpha somtimes, it has a negative connotation. After what you’ve been through in the past, that’s understandable. And yet your wording insinuates that you’re _ interested _ in Castiel’s Alpha nature, and that same fear doesn’t seem to be there...never  _ has  _ seemed to be there.”

Dean shrugged. “I guess not.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Dean scoffed, glaring up at him. “Cas didn’t- he hasn’t- he  _ wouldn’t  _ hurt me.”

“Yes, but by that guideline,  _ most  _ Alphas haven’t.” Garth held up a hand when Dean opened his mouth to argue. “Before you get mad, I don’t mean that in a victim-blaming way. I’m just trying to figure out what it is about Castiel as an Alpha that made you so comfortable with him, versus other Alphas you’ve met. Let’s take...Sam, for example.”

Dean frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t even know Sam.”

“Exactly,” Garth said with a shrug. “And yet, when you met him you almost bit his face off.”

Dean flushed and looked down at his lap. “That’s-he was-”

“From what I heard, he wasn’t doing much of anything,” Garth tilted his head. “You bumped into each other, and you had your claws and fangs out so fast, if those who were watching blinked, they would have missed it.” He held up his hand again when Dean curled his lips back. “Again, I’m not blaming you for anything. That’s actually a pretty normal reaction for someone with your history. What’s  _ not _ normal is your reaction to Cas.”

Dean huffed and scrubbed at his face. “I can’t help any of that.”

“I know,” Garth said with a smile. “That’s what makes it so interesting. You didn’t know Cas when you met him, and yet from what Benny told me of that night, you weren’t nearly as aggressive.”

“He’s the pack Alpha,” Dean snapped. “I was trying not to disrespect him and get killed.”

“Yeah, you can apply that logic if you want,” Garth scratched at a cheek. “But but you bared your neck for him to scent, and I have a hard time picturing you doing that for any other strange Alpha.”

“I thought that was kind of...expected.”

“Oh, well it is. But it’s kind of expected for all Alphas you meet. But I’d venture a guess that you’ve never done that for others before.”

Dean gritted his teeth and looked away. “No.”

Garth paused for a beat. “Dean, you’ve made great progress since you’ve been here, all on your own. Facing your attacker seems to have helped in many ways, but there’s still a lot of work to do. I don’t expect you to blindly trust anyone. But you see here, now? You have a lot of anger, Dean. And at times, it’s maybe a little unwarranted. I know that comes from insecurity, and it comes from being afraid to open up. But that’s what I’d like to work on with you.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You have Castiel now, and I think that’s fantastic. You have Rory, which is great as well. But you need  _ friends.  _ I think if we can figure out how to get you out of that headspace you’re in, maybe work on allowing you to open up to more people the way you did with Castiel, everything else will fall into place.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it shut a few seconds later. When he really thought about it, Dean realized he didn’t really have friends. Benny was sort of one, but probably not in the way Garth was talking about. The only other pack member he really spoke to was Missouri, and she was more of a mom figure to him.

“I don’t...really know how to make friends,” he admitted, shrugging a shoulder. “Been on my own too long. Being around people, it’s...difficult. Like I get claustrophobic or something. Can’t breathe.”

“Was it ever like that with Cas?”

Dean blinked and thought for a moment. “No...not really. Cas is overwhelming, sometimes. Not because he’s pushing me for something, but just his...presence, I guess.”

“Hm. Okay...but you’ve never felt uncomfortable like you do others?”

Dean shook his head. “No. He’s easy. Relaxing.”

Garth chewed his lip. “And what about Rory?”

Dean sighed and rubbed a his neck. “Not as easy. Better now, but she was a lot at first. She just...latched on and wouldn’t let go.”

“That must have been difficult for you.”

“At first, yeah. But she's… being around her feels different than being around other pups. She… _ needs _ me.” Dean wrung his hands in his lap. 

“Do you think maybe you're subconsciously filling a void with Rory, to an extent? Like maybe, her needing you makes it easier to be around her because you're providing something for her that you were deprived of?” Garth picked up his mug, holding it to his lips. 

Dean frowned, teeth grazing his lip. “Like...being a mom because I never really had one?”

Garth shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, something like that. It’s difficult for you to be around pups. Anyone can see that, even if they don’t know why. But even so, you’ve stepped into the mom role for Rory. I imagine it has its tough moments, especially since that wasn’t what you came to this camp for.”

“I don’t regret being her mom,” Dean said firmly.

“No, of course not,” Garth said softly. “I’m just saying, that despite these difficulties and possible pain you must feel, you choose to be a mom to her. Almost like you want to prove to yourself that you can do what your own mom failed at.”

Dean shifted in his seat, looking down at the floor.

“If it makes you feel better, Dean, you’ve already succeeded at that.”

Dean’s head snapped up and he eyed Garth curiously. “Not so sure about that.”

Garth pointed to Dean. “And that- that’s something we’ll talk about later, too. But Rory took to you in a way I’ve never seen her do with anyone else around here- not even Charlie. So whatever the two of you have, it’s special. It’s just as much a mother/daughter bond as any of the others in this compound.” Garth crossed one leg over the other, clasping his hands over his knee. “You know, Cas brings Rory in to see me from time to time. We both thought it may be helpful for her to express her feelings in a healthy way at a young age. Feelings over being raised alone by Cas, losing her mother. It’s almost more cut and dry for her, I’ve found.”

Dean frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Garth licked his lips, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and letting it slide out slowly as he considered his words. “Rory only knows what she’s been told of her mother. As you know, Ysabella died only hours after Rory was born. Rory never  _ knew  _ her, and the only idea of her she has is what others have built in her mind. But she doesn’t have a solidified form of who Ysabella was.” He paused, watching Dean closely. “Ysabella will always be her mother. She has a solid grasp on that concept. But Ysabella is just that to her- a concept. It’s become very clear to me and to Cas, especially as of late, that for all intents and purposes, you  _ are  _ Rory’s mother, in her eyes. Her heart and her mind, her idea of what a mother is- she can’t differentiate between her idea of her mother and you.”

Dean shifted in his seat and wrung his hands. “I didn’t-wasn’t trying to do that-”

“ _ You _ didn’t do anything,” Garth shrugged. “Call it instinct, stubbornness, or just your winning personality, but Rory chose you and that was that. It’s all very simple for her. Cas says she even scents you like any other pup would her mom. Really, all you did was react to the situation given to you, and the rest is history.”

Dean licked his lips. “And that’s...good?”

“It’s incredible,” Garth said encouragingly. “You stepped in and fulfilled the role she was missing in her life, and in doing so, you inadvertently and unknowingly filled a role that you were deprived of as a child. In a way, you kind of helped yourself heal.”

Dean frowned and swallowed, his throat dry and sticking together. He took a small sip of tea and cleared his throat. “But Cas, he-”

“Cas is a wonderful man. He’s a wonderful Alpha, he’s a wonderful friend. But Dean,” he shook his head, “this was all you, doing what you needed to do, for Rory...but also for yourself.  _ You  _ did that.”

Dean pressed his lips together and rubbed his palms over his thighs. He didn’t really think he should be given that much credit. He very much felt most of his strength was drawn from Cas. That without his Alpha, he would have crumbled at the weight of it all.

“H-he helped, though,” Dean muttered. “Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this. Wouldn’t have wanted to. Cas makes me feel...strong.”

“Maybe so,” Garth conceded, “but he only aided. You did this because you  _ are  _ strong. You, by yourself.”

Dean huffed. “You sound like Cas.”

“Well, I’ve known him awhile now,” Garth laughed. “I suppose we’ve rubbed off on each other a bit.” He uncrossed his legs and sat forward, clasping his hands between his knees. “May I ask how you feel about being mated?”

Dean relaxed somewhat and leaned back in his chair, resting an elbow on the armrest. “Well, I...love it, actually.” He smiled and traced the pink scar on his neck. “Only scar I have that I actually wanted.”

“I would have figured you wouldn’t enjoy that part of the mating process,” Garth said, lifting his eyebrows. 

Dean shrugged and let his hand drop. “It was...scary, for a split second. An automatic reaction, I think, but it quickly got...um, very good.”

Garth hummed, eyeing the mating bite on Dean’s neck. “And...you enjoy having his bite? Having another scar from an Alpha?”

Dean nodded and traced it again. “Not just...another scar, and he’s not just some Alpha. He’s Cas.”

“Because it was consensual,” Garth started slowly. “Because it means something.”

“Yes. It’s not-” Dean frowned, trying to find the words. “It’s not the same. Scars are scars, but this one...it feels like something else entirely.”

“It’s a feeling. A point in your life that defines who you are down to your core.”

Dean thought about what Cas had told him about how his scars were beautiful, the ones that marred his body, that made him hate himself for so long. He remembered how Cas told him he loved them, because they were a part of who he was. 

He smiled. “Yeah. It’s part of the journey.”

“That’s a positive way to see it.” Garth sat back with his hands in his lap, giving him a warm smile.

Dean rubbed at his mating mark then slowly lowered his hand back down to his lap. He supposed it was a bit odd that he liked it so much, that he had even wanted it. Even the act itself had felt incredible, the pain morphing into pleasure. It made him tingle just thinking about it.

“Aside from the bite,” Garth said slowly. “The mating process is an intimate act. You were comfortable the sex part of it, Dean?”

Dean blushed and ducked his head, clearing his throat awkwardly. “I, um...yes.”

“Even the knotting?”

His face flushed even more. “Y-yes. Wasn’t the...the first time. We’d-done things before.”

“At your pace?”

“Yes.”

“Were you ever uncomfortable at any point in that?” 

“No, I-” Dean licked his lips quickly and looked down. “I mean, it was kind of scary at times. But not because of anything Cas did, or didn’t do. It was just me...working through some things. If I said to stop, or even seemed off, Cas stopped. He never pushed me.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I wanted to do this. I just needed time. He gave me that.”

“That’s good.” Garth rested his chin on his hand. “Any other thoughts on that, or anything else? How do you feel about...everything? All that’s happened since you’ve been here. Do you feel you’re in a better place?”

Dean stared down at his lap and nodded slowly. “I...yes, I do. I feel happy, which I’ve never really felt before. You know, before...during my heats, I didn’t care if I died. I wouldn’t even use a fake knot. But I had to convince Cas to stay with me for my last one, because I wanted to live this time. I’d say that’s a better place.”

“I have to agree.” Garth sighed and smiled kindly. “Well, Dean. I gotta say, you seem to be in a much better place than before. Just how much you’ve grown, how easily you opened up here today as compared to your last visit. You talked freely here today, and that’s a huge step for you. Again, you should be proud of yourself.”

Dean bit his lip and shrugged, looking down at his entwined hands. Garth chuckled, but thankfully didn’t say anything about Dean’s inability to take a compliment. A subject for another day, Dean was sure.

A few minutes later, Dean was leaving with another appointment scheduled for the following week. Dean agreed to see Garth once a week, because if he didn’t he was positive Cas would bicker at him until he did. 

And, well...he had to admit, it hadn’t been so bad.

\-----

Dean could see the faint traces of his scars in the moonlight that filtered through the window, his hands in the hair of Cas who moved above him, kissing his way down and along the marred skin. Cas’s touch was gentle, his hands soft against his skin, unhurried, unsuspecting, just exploring the canvas beneath them. 

“Beautiful,” Cas whispered, pressing a kiss to the scar running across his hip bone. “ _ Perfect. _ ”

Dean squirmed and shivered when Cas traced it with his tongue. He remembered that scar very well. He had managed to get out from under Michael, but only briefly and the Alpha had dragged him back his claws locking into Dean’s hip.  It had been excruciatingly painful, but now all he could feel was soft pleasure.

He looked down just as Cas looked up, his blue eyes glowing in the darkness, hinting at that wild wolf beneath the human skin. Dean shook his head and moved his hand from Cas’s hair to cup his chin. “No,” he said softly. “You are.”

Cas crawled back up, cupping the side of Dean's face, gaze intense. “Dean. Please try to see yourself the way I see you.”

Dean swallowed hard and blinked up at him, his vision starting to blur. “Cas, I-” he reached up and wrapped his fingers around Cas’s wrist. “I can't.”

“You  _ can.” _

“No-"

“Dean.” Cas leaned back deliberately, holding his gaze as he guided himself to Dean's rim and slowly pushed inside. Dean gasped softly and arched slowly as Cas slid in easily, working his way back up his body. “Try for me.”

“Cas,  _ please _ -”

“No, Dean, you can do this,” Cas sheathed himself fully, his slowly swelling knot popping past Dean’s rim and making the Omega twitch with need. Dean tried to roll his hips, to get Cas moving, but he was gently held down by a hand pressed into his stomach. Cas refused to move, despite how much he must have wanted, staring down at Dean with those intense eyes. 

Dean growled and threw his head back on the pillow, baring his neck in a desperate attempt to get his Alpha going. Cas’s nostrils flared and he sucked in a breath, but otherwise didn’t take the bait. 

“I-I don’t know  _ how _ ,” Dean said with frustration. “I don’t see what you see.”

Cas leaned back and took Dean's hand, pressing his fingers to the newly scarred crescent on his side. “Do you think this is beautiful?”

Dean swallowed, running his fingers along the welt. “Yes.”

Cas moved the hand up and pressed it to just below his sternum, on the other new scar. “This one?”

“Yes, Cas.”

“And this one?” He moved Dean's hand to another long scar across his ribs. “Is this beautiful?”

Dean nodded, a small sob escaping. 

“Why?” Cas locked their fingers over his chest, canting his hips forward slightly. 

“Because,” Dean squeezed his hand, the realization finally hitting him, “they're a part of you.”

“Just as yours are,” Cas murmured, his free hand tracing down a scar that spanned the length of Dean’s thigh. “I need you to see that, Dean.”

Dean nodded and blinked back tears, his chest rising and falling with unsteady breaths. “Okay...okay, Cas.”

Cas smiled down at him and finally moved his hips, only slightly pulling out. “Say it, Dean.”

Dean groaned, once again trying to grind down, but Alpha’s hold was firm. He sagged against the bed, breathing hard, and spoke quietly. “I’m...beautiful.” He flushed a bright red, feeling stupid and embarrassed. 

“That's it, Omega,” Cas said softly, letting go of his wrist in favor of grabbing his hips and sinking back in. His knot pushed past his rim as he pulled out, making Dean gasp when he immediately popped it back in, starting to thrust at a quicker pace. Dean held his thighs and blinked up at Cas, suddenly filled with overwhelming emotion for his Alpha. His cock hung untouched and leaking against his stomach, the head red and swollen. Cas's eyes glowed brilliantly and a soft growl built in his chest as he moved in and out of him, gently squeezing his waist, rubbing circles in his hip bones and running his fingertips across the scars. 

Dean wrapped a thigh around Cas’s waist and pulled him closer, deeper, and moaning lowly in his throat when Cas brushed against his prostate. He always hit it just right, just enough to make Dean’s toes curl. He arched and sighed at the exquisite torture of the knot sliding in and out, the rhythm growing steadily faster with each stroke. Cas put his weight into it, moving Dean across the sheets until his head brushed up against the wall. His purr was loud and constant, rumbling in his chest to match Cas’s steady growl. 

Cas's knot caught shortly after and he pushed in deep as he spilled inside him, Dean following closely behind, streaks covering his belly. Cas leaned down to kiss him through his second orgasm, sucking on the skin adorned with his mark. Dean whimpered quietly as he felt Cas fill him up, his Alpha reaching between them to splay his fingers across his belly as the knot spasmed just inside his rim. 

“Oh,  _ fuck _ , Dean, my sweet Omega,” Cas whispered breathlessly, eyes bright in the dark of the room, moon shining off his sweaty chest. 

Dean stared up at him in awe, his body humming and clenching deliciously beneath the Alpha, milking the cock buried inside and hugging the knot tightly. “Oh, God,  _ Cas _ ,” he gasped, reaching up to squeeze at Cas’s bicep, his nails digging into the skin. His cock twitched and he moaned, the last bit of cum dribbling out. “Feel so good,” he whimpered, rolling his hips to feel the knot tug on his rim.

Cas hitched Dean's leg up further around his waist and moved to lay beside him, adjusting them so the knot wasn't pulling. He cupped Dean’s cheek and pulled him in for a kiss, brushing his thumb across his jaw. 

“I love you, so much,” he said hoarsely, the light fading from his eyes.

“I love you too, Cas.”

Dean tucked his head under Cas’s chin, his face pressed up against his neck so he could breathe in Cas’s scent. It was intoxicating after sex, the smell so strong and pure it left Dean lightheaded. 

They lay silently like that, basking under the moonlight, hands stroking soft skin and lips pressed together in light kisses until the knot released. They hardly moved, though, tangled in each other. 

“Cas,” Dean murmured, breaking the comfortable silence. “Do you...um, enjoy…” he sighed. “Do you like how...the sex is with us?”

Cas pulled back to look down at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Yes, Dean, of course. Do you...not-”

“No, no, I do,” Dean said quickly, fighting off the stupid blush on his cheeks. “Just meant...I dunno. Feel like you might get bored...or something. Since you can’t always do...what Alphas like to do.”

“Oh, Dean,” Cas clicked his tongue and pulled him back in for a hug, his fingers trailing through his hair. “Please don't think I'm ever unsatisfied with that aspect of us. You are perfect, and the things we do together are incredible, and I am so happy." He pulled back to take Dean by the chin, looking him in the eyes. “Dean, you make me so happy. Don't ever think otherwise.”

Dean sighed softly and nodded, letting himself be pulled into a long kiss. He wasn’t even sure how he’d come to the thought that Cas might not be totally satisfied with their current sex life, but Dean had been thinking about since his talk with Garth. He still felt very inexperienced and clumsy, though it seemed Cas didn’t mind.  Even so, an odd mood of insecurity had come over Dean and he wished it would go away.

“You make me happy too, you know,” he mumbled when they pulled apart, panting slightly. “Everything you do...makes me very happy.”

Cas frowned again, then cocked an eyebrow. “Where's this coming from? You aren't still self conscious about the mating, are you?”

“No, no, it's not really about that,” Dean said honestly. He'd been surprised at how welcoming the camp seemed to be about Cas mating again, despite the false narrative that Charlie had spread before and her subsequent apology, including helping to set the record straight. He'd never felt more accepted by them than he had since the mating, like they were actually going out of their way now to get to know him. The best part was that they actually felt genuine, and Dean was starting to understand why pack life was so coveted. 

“Then what is it?” Cas asked softly, brushing some hair out of Dean's face. 

Dean shook his head and leaned into Cas’s touch. “I don’t really know,” he murmured. “Garth had asked about our, um, mating...and I guess I started thinking about things. I’m just...still inexperienced with these things. And you had said there were things you wanted to do, but we haven’t done them….” He huffed and scrubbed at his face. “Forget it. Been in a weird mood all day.”

“Well, the mating process… it changes you, down to a cellular level. Hormones fluctuate. That's normal.” Cas took his hand, threading their fingers together and holding them to his chest. “But we have forever, Omega. No need to rush into anything now. We can do all those things and more, in time. I'm perfectly happy with everything about us.”

Dean hummed thoughtfully, but Cas was probably right. He’d know more about what mating does than Dean. “Okay, Cas.” He sighed and closed his eyes, pressing closer to his Alpha. He listened to Cas’s steady breathing, his deep and rumbling purr, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

\----

Dean woke with a start an indeterminate amount of time later, his stomach lurching. He sat straight up in bed and threw his legs over the side, too determined to get to the bathroom quickly to worry about trying not to disturb Cas, who'd had him wrapped in a tight embrace. 

He heard the springs of the mattress squeaking as Cas followed closely behind, and he dropped to his knees just in time to dispel all of the contents in his stomach into the toilet bowl. 

“Dean?” Cas asked, concern lacing his tone. He walked into the bathroom and cracked the door behind him, leaning down to rub him gently on the back and letting out a relieved breath. “Hey, you okay?”

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but he only managed to gag and heave into the toilet. He gasped, clutching the sides, until the waves of nausea subsided. 

“Damn it,” he groaned, moving to leaning back against the wall. “What the hell…” Dean accepted the damp washrag from Cas and wiped off his mouth, watching Cas as he flushed the toilet. 

“Are you okay?” Cas asked again.

Dean shrugged and wiped some sweat off his brow. “I dunno. Came out of nowhere.”

“You've been spending a lot of time in and out of the medic cabin, and this time of year there's a lot of viruses going around....” Cas looked him over curiously and bit his lip. “Maybe you picked up something.”

“ _ Ugh _ ,” Dean made a face and folded over the washrag, pressing it to his mouth again. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“You got sick after that stew you made the other night too,” Cas said slowly. “Could be something was bad in there...or something.”

“Then why aren’t you and Rory sick?” Dean grumbled, the back of his head thinking against the wall. “Maybe the heat messed me up. The last one she had me on meds to...flush things out. Maybe that’s got something to do with it.” He shook his head and sighed. “Seems to be gone now. I feel okay.” 

Cas swallowed and stood, taking Dean's hand and helping him to his feet. “Maybe we should have Missouri look you over, just to be safe.”

Dean waved him off. “I'll pop in sometime today and see her if it'll make you feel better. Right now I just want to sleep.”

“Dean-"

“Cas, I'm exhausted. Okay?” He ruffled his own hair irritably. “Please, just… let's deal with it in the morning.”

Cas pressed his lips together but nodded, following closely behind Dean as he got back in bed. 

Dean fell back onto his pillow with a tired sigh and pressed up against Cas when the Alpha wrapped his arms around him. Dean closed his eyes, intent on sleeping, but even after Cas’s breathing evened out and his soft snores tickled Dean’s ear, the Omega laid wide awake.

\-----

Dean woke groggily after only a few hours of sleep to soft kisses at the back of his neck, strong arms hugging his waist. He buried his face into the pillow to go back to sleep, but Cas clicked his tongue and nudged Dean’s shoulder.

“No, no,” Cas said gently. “You have to watch Rory this morning. I have to leave the camp for a few hours with some of the Betas to see about that Alpha camp.”

Dean groaned when Cas gently rolled him onto his back, smiling down at the Omega’s grumpy face. 

“I promise to make it up to you when I get back,” Cas promised, kissing his nose before climbing over Dean and off the bed. Dean rubbed at his eyes as Cas stretched, popping a few joints and scrounging around for clothes.

He was pulling on pants when Rory bounded in, throwing herself onto their bed. She pulled herself into a sitting position and bounced in her seat, smiling up at Dean. 

“Good mornin’, mama,” she said brightly.

“Mornin’, kiddo,” Dean responded, throwing on a shirt and kissing her forehead, then ruffling her hair. “Cas,” he said as he turned to the kitchen, watching Cas making coffee, “why do you have to be the one to go today? Can’t you just have Benny and-”

“Dean, I have to be the one to go,” Cas shook his head, evidently not having changed his mind despite all the times they’d discussed it before. “All the Alpha camps around here I’ve pulled from before, and those guys were either operating within one of them or they came from much further away. But unfortunately, since they were out in that storm, I would guess they were close by.” He sighed and turned around, crossing his arms over his chest. “Look, I want to be able to stay here with you guys. But what happened...that’s my mess. I let these guys slip by me and that’s on me. I have to go.”

Dean rubbed his own arm nervously. “How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

Cas dropped his arms and crossed over to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and scenting his neck. “I don’t know. Hopefully no more than a day or so.”

Dean tried to scent at Cas’s neck, but even Alpha’s smell couldn’t calm the anxiety he couldn’t seem to shake off. Dean told himself it was because this was going to be the first time Cas would be away for more than a few hours, and that he was potentially walking into a dangerous situation. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Dean said quietly.

Cas sighed and rubbed at his back. “I know, Omega, but...it’s part of my job. I’m the Alpha, I have to-”

“I know,” Dean huffed and pulled away.

“Baby, I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” Cas held his face and brushed his thumbs over his cheeks, giving him a nod. “Everything is going to be fine. You go see Missouri, you and Rory spend some time together, and you relax and try to feel better. You don’t even have to worry about meals or anything- I’ve got Missouri bringing them to you.”

Dean looked at him and finally nodded. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll just...miss you, is all. Can’t imagine you not here with me.”

“I know. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“Be so cold and lonely, without my big strong Alpha in the bed with me-”

“I’ll use hyper speed.”

“-keeping me warm at night, making me feel good-”

“That’s it. I’m not going.”

Dean laughed and leaned forward, pressing their lips together. “No, you’re right. I get it, it’s part of your job. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Cas smiled and kissed him again, then motioned over his shoulder to Rory. “C’mere and give me a hug, sweetheart. I’m leaving.”

The pup ran over and hugged his legs, giggling when he bent down to kiss the top of her head. “Be good for your mom,” Cas told her. “Don’t run him ragged like you do your papa.”

Rory rolled her eyes at him. “I’m always good, papa.”

“Mhmm,” Cas smiled at her then straightened. He couldn’t help giving Dean one more kiss before he pulled on his boots and jacket. He waved goodbye to them and disappeared out the door. Rory went back to her coloring, but Dean stared at the door for a long while, wondering if the feeling of uneasiness was his instincts trying to warn him of something.

\------

They spent the better part of the morning in the cabin, reading _ Harry Potter _ and coloring. It was starting to get warm outside and the snow was beginning to melt, so the ground was slushy and muddy and Dean had no desire to go out in it, much less have to clean Rory up after she was out in it. Thankfully, Rory seemed more than content to lay around the cabin. 

Dean’s sickness had since subsided, but he’d promised Cas to go see Missouri, and he was sure Cas had made sure to let Missouri know to be expecting him on his way out of the compound. If he didn’t go down there himself, she would come to him.

“Hey Rory, would you wanna go spend an hour or so with the Banes’?” Dean asked her shortly after lunch time, where they’d eaten leftovers from the night before. “I have some stuff to take care of and it’d probably bore you, anyway.”

Rory shrugged. “Okay. What do you have to do, mama?”

“It’s no big deal, I just have to check in with Missouri,” Dean said nonchalantly, handing Rory his red crayon and picking up a yellow one to color in his rendition of the sun. “It shouldn’t take me long.”

“Papa said you were sick.” Rory colored in some grass, then looked up at him curiously. “Do you feel bad?”

“I was just a little sick, but I think I’m fine now,” Dean said easily.

“Max had the flu a couple of weeks ago,” Rory said, going back to her drawing. “Maybe you caught it from him.”

“Maybe.”

They finished their drawings, Rory placing them proudly on her wall, then quickly dressed to go outside. Dean took his time dropping her off, taking the long way around the camp and stopping to throw a few sludge balls at the pup, all the while telling himself he wasn’t stalling. He just didn’t like parting with his pup.

“Be good,” he told her, kissing her cheek.

“Okay, mama,” she smiled, hugging him tightly.

Dean sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, slowly turning to trudge towards the medic cabin.

\-----

Dean picked Rory up almost two hours later and picked up a few snacks from the kitchen. He’d considered going to speak to Sam after meeting with Missouri, but he deemed that a talk for another day, and they instead retreated back up to the cabin. It was so large and empty without Cas. Dean spent the rest of the night in a daze, busying himself with Rory and reading to distract himself from the fact that his first whole night without Cas since their mating was creeping up on him. He didn’t want to go to bed alone, especially not knowing how long it would be until Cas returned. Even with Rory occupying the same space as him, he felt utterly alone.

He put Rory to bed a few hours after sundown, when her little hand began to cramp from drawing and she kept yawning, despite her claim that she wasn’t at all tired. He sat on the edge of her bed and talked to her until she fell asleep, strings of wavy red hair flopped into her face, her mouth open slightly as she snored softly.

Dean watched her sleep for a long time, stroking her hair and listening to an owl hoot just outside the window. He was stiff from sitting so still when he finally moved, kissing her forehead then quietly slipping out. He shut her door softly and turned, staring at the bed that looked too big for just him. He was exhausted, but knew he wouldn’t sleep. 

Instead, Dean silently walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He placed his hands on the sink, knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge. He closed his eyes, breathing in and out slowly, carefully. 

He swallowed and opened his eyes, staring at the mirror and almost didn’t recognize who he saw. He was healthy, eyes clear, albeit troubled. No protruding bones, sunken cheeks, or sickly pale skin. Life in the camp, among the pack, had done him a world of good. He had a family now, a strong Alpha and an amazing pup. Compared to just a few months ago, his life had taken a dramatic turn for the better.

None of this, however, stopped the steady trembling of his hands. The shortness of his breath, the rapid beating of his heart. The weakness of his knees that had him slowly sinking to the floor as he gasped for air. 

Dean clutched at his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt no pain there, had never been healthier in his entire life, and yet had never been more scared.

Missouri’s motherly voice echoed in his head and a sob escaped before he could clamp a hand over his mouth, tears sliding silently down his cheeks.

_ “Don’t worry, baby, I’m gonna take care of you,”  _ she’d said. “ _ Both of you." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We know there are still many questions to be answered, which is why this fic will have a sequel! Thank you to everyone who followed this story for the inspiration. You helped us fall in love with our story over and over again. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


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